To adore the Hellish
by Yellow kiwi
Summary: Naruto can't stop thinking of the schools outcast. It'll be hard enough to get to know him, even harder to get him to love him, but none of it will be has hard as staying together in a school that is trying so hard to tear you apart. AU, yoai, GaaraNaru
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Another NaruGaara fic by me, but surprise! In this one Gaara's going to be seme! Also this is another story with lots of pretty little warnings to be read, so that you all can be sure if you really want to read this or not.

**Warnings**: Yaoi, mention of sexual arousal by blood, though it's not too extreme. Homophobia to an extreme. Violence, under age drinking, and remember kids don't drink till your old enough, or at least don't get shit faced (though if you do any of this who am I to judge you?). If you have something against or feel uncomfortable with anything that is mentioned please don't read. Thank you.

Chapter 1

**Naruto's POV**

It was a rainy day. I looked out of the window of the dorm I shared with my friend Sasuke.Who isn't here right now. He told me where he went, but I don't remember a word he said. My hand runs across the window, it was getting harder and harder to see out of the glass because of the rain. But I keep staring out of the window, because in the middle of the courtyard my room oversees is a boy. He doesn't seem to be bothered at all by the rain soaking him.

Of course, he isn't bothered by much of anything. And it freaks a lot of people out. He's been going to this boarding school since eighth grade, him and his older brother. And in the two years that have passed, he's said nothing to anyone. Well ok, sometimes he says things, but they aren't very nice or important. He just wants to be left alone, and because of that a lot of people think he's strange.

Rumors about him are all around the school. And every boy from sixth to twelfth grade knows who he is. He's the blood tainted vampiric witch, of Konoha Greens, all boys boarding school. Reports of him having a séance, or dealing with the occult have been spread all over school. Others tell stories of seeing him drink blood and the weirdoes in this school say he's the embodiment of the devil. If that is said by the overly religious people or the devil worshipers it's still bull. To some he's evil and to others he's extremely cool. But no one ever speaks to him. Even those who've tried never get a word out of him. Other then, 'Leave me be', or 'I'll kill you'.

But, I can't help but wonder about him. Is he really that cold and heartless? I mean Sasuke was kinda like him, and he's an ok guy once you get to know him. So are all the rumor—

"Naruto, man! I got something for ya!" I jump from the surprise of having Kiba run into my room.

"Damn Kiba, knock next time!"

"Why? I know the door's open." Kiba walks toward me with a grin on his face.

"So what do you have for me?"

"Booze and boobs." With that said, Akamaru walks into my room. With a magazine in his mouth. The little dog gives it to his master, who pulls out two bottles of beer from his jacket. I swear he could sneak girls in under that jacket. Kiba takes the magazine from his pets mouth.

"Close the door will ya, Akamaru?" The dog obeys, as if he understood what Kiba just said. "So anyway, I though I'd drop by, since Sasuke isn't here to kill our buzz. Or not yet at least." Kiba explains, handing me one of the bottles of beer. Then he takes out two more bottles from his jacket and sets them down on the floor. "I know it ain't much, but that's all I could get." He explains.

"That's cool, we don't want to get too wasted anyway. We have class tomorrow." Kiba nods at the statement, and we both open our bottles.

"So I sneaked this magazine from the principals office." Kiba explains, showing me the cover of the dirty magazine. Most of the teachers here in this school are a bunch of pervs. And the principal is the most perverted of them all. Kiba opens the magazine to look at the pictures inside. When we get to the first full length picture, Kiba practically drools all over himself. We keep on flipping through pages, and taking sips of our beer; but somewhere in the middle of all this, my eyes drift away from the magazine. I look outside of the window, again. Just in times to make out the blurry figure in the rain get up and walk out of the courtyard.

"Hey what are you looking at?" Kiba asks shifting so he can look out the window. "Oh it's that Gaara dude." Kiba says with disgust and turns back to what he was doing. I soon lay my eyes on the pages of the magazine again, strangely not really that interested in the images before me.

**Gaara's POV**

I walk into the hall where my room is located. Drops of water drip from my cloths and hair. I enter the room I share with my brother. "Gaara, did you go outside in the rain?" Kankuro asks me, I say nothing. I just take a change of clothes from my dresser and other things I'll be needing.

"See, this is why people spread weird rumors about you."

"I could care less what little insignificant worms like them have to say about me." I mumble out, and leave the room to go into the shower room down the hall. I don't know why the school didn't just build bathrooms and showers into each separate room. But at least the bathroom and shower rooms are clean. I put my clothes on a bench in a stall that's connected to the shower I have picked to use. The showers are privet enough, unless some idiot just walks into your stall and pulls the curtain away, no one will see you.

I turn on the hot water and slip out of the wet clothes I am wearing. Once the water is hot enough I step into the connected stall of the shower and pull the curtain closed. So that the water from the shower won't splash out into the part were my clothes lie.

There weren't many other people at the showers at this time, maybe three others are here. I take the soap and clean myself, at this time two very loud people come in.

"Sasuke I'm not even drunk. So what do I need to take a cold shower for?"

"I'm not going to deal with the stench of alcohol in our room. You smell like beer." I shake my head. They are making a complete spectacle of themselves. "I don't know why you and Kiba always drink in our room. Can't you go to his and Shino's room?"

"No 'cause he's just as up tight and bitchy as you. But unlike you he never leaves the room."

"Get into a shower." One of the boys hisses out and pushes the other into a stall. Then it's quiet and I can enjoy my hot shower again. Once I'm all clean, I turn off the water and dry myself with one of the towels in the stall. I pick up the dry change of clothes next to my still moist ones. I pull on the plain black tank top, and then slip on my black sweatpants with red flames at the bottom. It's what I'll be sleeping in. I also put on some socks, before gathering all my things to leave.

I hang my wet clothes over the laundry bin that's in the room by the mirror. I then brush my teeth and run a comb quickly through my hair. I don't like being in the shower room, people always want to make conversations here. And most of the time they become loud and I can't stand noisy places.

I don't notice someone getting out of the showers and walking to the mirror where I am standing. I only notice him out of the corner of my eye. It's a blonde and he seems to be staring at me.

"You got a problem?" I ask annoyed, putting my comb and toothbrush away.

"Um no…" The blonde says. I leave and head back to my room. I hate it here, but I have no choice but to stay here. I walk into my empty room, Kankuro may have left to get a shower as well. Our room is filled with strange things. My brother's side of the room has many puppets, they have very strange faces, and would make it hard for most people to sleep. He also has a fake shrunken head, voodoo doll and book by his bed.

I, on the other hand, have many disturbing paintings that I did myself. Along with a small row of vampire books, a gourd (another one of my works of art) and a elaborate crystal bottle which contains sand. My gourd also contains sand, I collect sand from various places. Some may think it strange, but I don't care of others opinions. The sand has meaning to me.

**Naruto's POV**

I walk back to the room I share with Sasuke. Thinking back on what happened in the shower room. For some reason I couldn't help but stare at the redhead. There was a strange feeling in my stomach when I saw him at the mirror, and that feeling is still sorta there. I don't know what it means. I think I was just a little afraid of him…yeah that's probably it. All the rumors I've heard and this is the first time I've really seen him up close. I've seen him in the classroom and he's always outside in the courtyard every evening. But that close I've never been and it brought on that weird feeling…of fear I guess.

But still I wonder if any of the rumors are really true. I open the door to my room, Sasuke was sitting at his laptop. Sometimes he'll let me use it, but usually he's on it twenty-four-seven. Or at least that's what it seems like. Our room is pretty empty and plain. I have some hand held games over on my night stand, and a calendar on my wall, but nothing else really. Sasuke just has a small bookshelf that hangs on the wall. And then there's the dresser on the opposite side of the wall, the left side is for me and the right for Sasuke. Next to the dresses is the little desk that holds the laptop, where Sasuke is setting now.

I sigh and flop down on my bed, I look up at the ceiling. I feel my bed sink and look up to see who is sitting next to me. It was Kiba, and I notice Shino standing next to Sasuke at the desk.

"Hey, what are you all doing here?" I ask. Kiba's hair was wet and I could tell Shino had made him take a shower as well.

"I think they are having a meeting on how to take the fun out of everything." Kiba says.

"No, me and Shino are partners on a Biology project, I don't know why you're here dog breath." Sasuke explains.

"I'm here to see Naruto." Kiba retorts, he then looks at me. I went back to looking at the ceiling blankly. "Something wrong?" Kiba asks me. I shake my head no, but continue to look up at the ceiling. Until the thought of Gaara came up again. And once again I ask myself, are the rumors really true; is he that bad of a person? I look at Sasuke….

* * *

A/N: How's that for a first chapter? Please review thank you. 


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Naruto's POV**

I'm sitting in my study hall, well if you wanna call it that. It's more of a class where you get tutored. It's like a program just recently added to the school, it's peer tutoring. It's my second to last class I have to take for the day. Neji is my tutor, and he helps me in math. Though I don't know why he even signed up for this program, he doesn't seem much of a people person. And I would have never have thought he'd have the patience or will to want to help people. Sasuke's in this class as well, also a tutor, he tutors for science though. Usually it's two students per student tutor. Neji has me and Shikamaru. Though Shikamaru doesn't really need this class, he was forced to enter because of his bad grades. He just doesn't like to work and even in this class he just sleeps. Neji as learned to ignore it and just focus on me. Seeing as I'm a very, very slow learner, at least that's what he tells me.

We have a teacher for this class, but she's just here to supervise and give grades. Everyone is graded on the progress they or their student they are tutoring is making in the class they need help in. I have a C in this class along with Shikamaru and Neji. Though Neji doesn't like that fact too much.

"Mrs. Tsunade, Mr. Kakshi wants to know if you can spare any students, for portrait?"

"Yeah, whatever," our teacher says, flipping a page in her novel. Oh along with this class, Mrs. Tsunade is also the schools councilor. The boy who came in from the art room goes to each table and asks if they would like to come get their portraits painted. I was up for it and talked Shikamaru in coming too, Sasuke was begged to come and seeing as his students were leaving, Neji came too.

"Thanks, Mrs. Tsunade." The boy says leading us to the art room. When we entered there weren't that many students in the art room. I found out that this is the advanced art class, and not many boys have made it in. There were only nine students!

"Thanks you Erik for getting us some students. Al managed to get some from the PE class, so we have enough for everyone to paint someone else. I'll assign you your person." Mr. Kakashi explains to his class.

"This is such a drag, why did I even let you talk me into this?" Shikamaru asks me.

"It's better then listening to Neji shove math problems down our throat."

"Naruto," I look at Mr. Kakshi, I knew him from last year when I took his art class just for fun. Of course I found out I have no artistic talent whatsoever. "Go and sit on the stool in front of Gaara. Gaara, raise your hand so he knows who you are."

The red head raised his hand and I saw him all the way in the corner. I was kinda surprised at this and I walked over to him taking a seat. The red head doesn't pay me any attention, but there was this need to talk to him in me. I felt kinda like when I first talked to Sasuke. I was a little afraid, but that wasn't going to stop me from saying something!

I hadn't noticed that he had already started on his painting, too busy trying to come up with something to say.

"So…you must be a really good artist to be in Mr. Kakashi's advanced class." It was the first thing that came to mind and I got no response from the red head. He only looks at me and then moves his brush.

"You're in my language arts class aren't you?" I ask just really wishing he'd respond. When he doesn't I let out a little sigh. Feeling a little uncomfortable because of the silence I start to move a little.

"Stay still," he commands me, in a low voice. I obey and it seems like forever until finally he speaks. It wasn't directed at me, he raised his hand and called Mr. Kakashi over. He was done with the painting and I wanted to see it, but for some reason I still didn't dare to move. Mr. Kakshi looked at the painting and his eyes grew a little wider.

"You always have to put your own touch on it, can't just simply copy the image in front of you. But it's one of your best, good job." That sentence made me want to see the painting even more. The teacher walks away and Gaara made eye contact with me. My heart almost jumped right out of my chest. His eye were so…really, really scary. I try not to shudder as he continues to look at me and then turns the stand around so I could see the portrait of myself. It was disturbingly beautiful. It was a gorgeous me, sitting on the stool like I am still. But a hole with blood pouring out was in the middle of my head, along with my arms being shown as skeleton bones. There was no background, but I'm sure he'll add some tomorrow, after all the class time was almost up. The red head put away the painting and the brushes and paint. Other students were still struggling to get the main portrait of the person in front of them done. Gaara was quick and his work still came out perfect. Or at least to me, of course I don't know how to draw worth shit. I offer to help clean brushes with the red head. He says nothing, but doesn't protest when I help.

"Could I see the complete product once you're done?" I ask Gaara. Though I didn't know if I would get an answer or not, I was hoping I would.

"If you like," came the mumbled response. The bell rings and all the people who weren't' done with their paintings, scrambled to clean up. While the people used for the portraits just left to go to their next class. Gaara picks up a small bag and slings it around his shoulder. It kinda look like a purse, but I didn't say anything. After all it hung way lower then any purse and reassembled more of a small school bag.

I walk with Gaara, right by his side. After all the next class we have together. The outcast didn't seem to happy about me at his side. He stares at me and I couldn't tell if he was staring out of confusion about my presence or annoyance.

"What?" I ask blankly.

"Is there a reason why you must walk so close to me?" He asks, voice emotionless.

"Well we have the next class together, so why not walk together?" Gaara only looks at me like I just said the stupidest thing in the world. "Oh lighten up man! It's not like I'm going to kill you. Why don't you talk to anyone anyway? People start saying stuff about you 'cause of it. I mean you can't seriously want to be left alone twenty-four seven!"

"Can you not speak so much and so loudly," it wasn't a question; more of an insult, but that wasn't gonna stop me. Hell, I've been through worse trying to get Sasuke to talk to me back in seventh grade! We enter the classroom and Gaara takes a seat in the back like he always does, I follow him.

"Just don't forget to show me the painting once it's done," with that said I head back to the front to sit in my seat next to Kiba.

"You spoke to spook. Are you high or something?" Kiba asks me.

"No, I was just in his art class."

"And you talked to him?"

"Well he didn't talk back."

"Why even give that freak the light of day? I mean he's weirder then Shino and Sasuke put together." I didn't say anything more after that, mainly because Mr. Orochimaru was glaring at us. But, also I didn't know what I would say to Kiba. He wouldn't understand, actually I don't understand the need to talk to Gaara either. I just feel drawn to the boy.

**Gaara's POV**

I had never noticed that the blonde boy named Naruto was in my class. I think back to the showers, I had seen him there yesterday. He obviously knows me, at least like everyone else in this school knows about the stupid tales spun by idiotic people. Though he didn't seem to be phased by those rumors, seeing as he insisted to talk to me. It was annoying and most of the time people just leave me alone after awhile. But from the moment he tried to make conversation in the art room, he didn't give up. Sure he was quiet during most of my panting but afterward he just insisted on speaking even more. Though I hardly gave him any kind of response, he kept going. It was really aggravating.

Soon enough class is over and I make my way to the courtyard. I don't like being around people too much, which includes my brother. I like to have peace and quiet and that's why I always sit out here. It's calming and no one (except for the occasionally idiot) bothers me when I'm setting out here.

I go back inside once the sun goes down. I enter my room, where Kankuro was listening to his iPod. Sometimes I think it would be better if we had a TV in the room. But seeing how old and stupidly built this school is, we don't have a TV hook up. I get out a small sketchbook and draw to pass the time. Tomorrow will be Friday, which means Kankuro will most likely leave campus to have some fun. Which leaves me all alone to myself, which I don't mind at all. Most of the boys on the weekend go out, after all why stay at the school? Some, but only a very few, go to their near by homes, or their parents pick them up. So it's pleasantly deserted, though some times it gets loud at night when most of them come back.

The next day seems to fly by. Like most Friday's for me do. In art class, some people had to ask their models to come back so they could finish their painting. I was only doing the background and adding shadow and such, to bring the 2-D figure to life.

I couldn't help but think of the boy who had modeled for me. I groan at the thought of going to my next period, after all I'll see him there. And he may talk to me inquiring about the painting. I work up all the way to the bell and take my time putting away my paints. So by the time I entered my next class the tardy bell had just went off. I go to the back to take my seat, happy that the timing worked out so well. At the end of the school day I could see the boys blue eyes on me, but he was promptly pulled away by a friend of his.

I walk to the courtyard, to sit in peace. I watch as a few boys pass by with bags, heading to the front gate. To go on home and see their family for the weekend. An ill feeling comes over me, one of hate, but I soon push it to the far part of my brain. There's no reason for me to get angry, it's something I can't change. The reason for my being in this god forsaken boarding school.

"Gaara, did you finish it?" I look up in surprise though I don't show any emotion on my face. I don't answer the blonde in front of me, but can't help my staring at him. He lifts an eyebrow at me and then another voice came.

"Naruto, what are you doing, bothering people you shouldn't?" Asks a boy with black hair approaching us. When the black headed boy is in reach he takes Naruto's arm and tugs. "Come on," he requests softly the same time menacingly; all the while glaring daggers at me.

"I ain't bothering no one! Just asked a simple question is all," the blonde explains. I get up and for reasons unknown to me speak to the boy in a kind manner.

"Come, I'll show you the painting, if you so desire." Naruto looked at me dumbly, but soon enough slipped his arm out of his friends grip to follow me to the art room. I could still feel his friends eyes on me as we walked into the building.

The art room was still unlocked and I entered. Picking my painting out from the drying rack I show it to the boy. His blue eyes grew a little wider and his mouth hung open just a bit.

"I make one hot model don't I? Even with the hole in my head and skeleton arms," he laughs smiling wide so his blue eyes are nothing but slits. I ignore the comment and put the painting back to continue it's drying. I walk past the boy and to the door. The boy follows close behind, for awhile silent though it didn't last.

"You're really good. You must like drawing a lot to get so good. Do you practice or does it just come naturally?" he asks but I don't answer. He keeps talking, sometimes answering his own questions, most likely because I wouldn't. We enter the courtyard again, his friend was still there; waiting. Once he spots us, he walks towards us, the blonde stops his talking. His friend passes me to get to Naruto and I don't miss the intense stare he gives me.

"Hey, let's get back to our room, ok? Kiba and Shino are probably waiting for us to show up," he tells Naruto in a calm voice. The blonde nods and follows the boy with the dark hair. He passes me, when I had just sat down in my usual place. He looks over his shoulder and waves goodbye.

**A/N: **Ain't got muchto say, please review. And see ya next chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I no longer have a beta, sadly. And though this means updates will be coming faster, it also means that there'll be many spelling mistakes. Bear with me please. And if you find something wrong please point it out, because I do confuse some words and such.

Chapter 3

**Naruto's POV**

I follow Sasuke to our room. It didn't take long for Kiba to come on over, followed by Shino. Shino brought in a tray of bugs, I think it was for that biology project him and Sasuke are doing. Either way I though it was kinda nasty, died or alive I'm not to fond of bugs.

"So what kind of planes do we have for this weekend?" Kiba asks me. Akamaru in his lap, while he sits on the floor and rest his back against my bed.

I shrug, "I don't know, but I don't feel like going anywhere off campus," I clarify. Most of the time on the weekends, people go to the near by teen club, movie theater or if you can catch a bus they go to the mall. Honestly I didn't want to do any of that, because I ain't got no cash right now. I'll have to wait for another package from home to arrive.

"Well there's nothing to do at school," Kiba points out.

"Well you all can do what you want, I'm just not in the mood this weekend," I say.

"Fine I guess I'll have to do something with Shino," Kiba groans.

"Their showing a documentary of the monarch butterfly tomorrow in the library," Shino mumbles.

"Oh that sound exciting," Kiba says sarcastically. He then stands up and stretches, and looks at me. "Come on lets go to the gas station across the street and get some chips or something." With that we both leave, so Kiba can stock up on junk food. We leave the campus and go to the gas station near by. Kiba gets some nachos, and two drinks, buying me one since I'm broke. We both then sit out in front.

"So why don't you want to do anything this weekend?" Kiba ask, eating a cheese-covered chip.

"I'm just not in the mood for doing anything, really. I mean I'm broke, and not in the mood to go to the club or anything," I tell my friend.

"So you're going to leave me all alone to do weird stuff with Shino. At least come watch that crapy documentary with us, that's on camps and free," Kiba explains.

"I don't know, sound pretty boring," I say taking a sip of my drink, Kiba glares at me. "But, seeing as you're so desperate I guess I'll come with you, and spice things up," I say proudly, and steal one of Kiba's nachos. Once Kiba's done eating we both head back to the school. Talking along the way 'bout stuff that's not very important. We stop and show our school ID's to security at the front gate of the school. We crack the last joke for the night, about some random kid in one of our classes, and then go to our separate rooms. When I enter I find Sasuke in his pajamas, Shino gone. I go over to my bed, and pull out my PSP to entertain myself, until I feel like going to bed. Sasuke looks at me, but then goes to his desk, picking up a book, not from his own collection but the libraries. He then lays back on his bed, and opens the novel to continue reading were he left off. For a long time it was quiet. Then Sasuke spoke.

"What was up with this afternoon?" He ask, and I think for a while of what it could possibly be that he's talking about.

"Oh when I talked to Gaara?" I ask to make sure this is what he meant.

"Yeah, why were you talking to him?"

"Oh, I wanted to see that painting that he did of me, he was in that art class remember?" I explain, letting my eye glance at Sasuke. His eyes held a far away look and he wasn't looking at his book, then he blinked and that blank expression was gone. He didn't say anything, so I decided to continue on the conversation, "Did you get to see what you're finished portrait looks like?"

"No, I didn't really care," Sasuke says in a monotone voice.

" Oh well I'm sure it came out looking good. Anyway are you going to come with me, Shino, and Kiba, to watch that butterfly thing?"

"If I have nothing better to do," he shrugs, and puts down his book. He then turns of his light by the bed, and pulled the covers over himself. I put away my PSP, and strip myself of my shoes and pants. I then crawl under my covers and try to go to sleep. I stay awake for a long time, thinking about the painting. Gaara really is a good artist, even if he has a weird and kinda emo style to it. On that note I drift off to sleep.

It's Saturday evening, and I'm sitting here in the library. Sasuke hadn't come with us, instead watching way more entertaining things on Youtube, probably. For the first thirty minutes, me and Kiba made fun of some stuff, like seeing to butterflies getting it on, and other things. Though Shino either ignored us or told use we were being childish. Now Kiba's asleep and snoring, seeing as the movie is that boring, and it's already been on for an hour. I look around, there were a couple of people here, most likely just to pass the time. Some of them are asleep just like Kiba. Shino watched the movie with interest. I get up and tell him I'm going to step out, he nods. And his attention goes back to the screen.

I walk to the computers in the library but find that they are all occupied. Seeing as I can't surf the net, I walk out of the library, just to get some fresh air. I look past a pillar, and at the courtyard. Gaara wasn't there like I expected him to be. A sinking feeling develops in my chest. I lean against the wall, and ask myself why I was so interested in the outcast. I tell myself it was the challenge, just like it was with Sasuke. I also really wanted to know if there was any truth behind any of the roomers spread about him. All together he made interesting pry. And to think I've already gotten him to speak to me, which is way more then most people have ever gotten him to do. I remember Sasuke was a lot more stubborn to speak to me. Well he did call me idiot a lot, or snort at me and title his nose in the air. But, Gaara seems a little easier. Though he doesn't really like to talk, he responds if you nag him enough. Well I didn't really nag him about the painting, but I think he though if he were to give in for just a moment I'd leave him alone and shut up. Oh, how wrong he was. I'll continue to talk to him, if he talks back or not. I find myself slowly strolling down the halls. I reach the art room, and the door was slightly ajar.

I had just turned to peek in, when a black material came to my face. I look up to see that it was Gaara wearing a black shirt.

**Gaara's POV**

The blonde, Naruto, was standing in front of me. I couldn't help but wonder why he would be anywhere near the art room. I didn't have much time to think as one of my fellow classmates calls from behind me,

"Hey freak what's the hold up?"

I ignore the insult and just push the model for my portrait—which I'm holding right now—out of the way. A few of the student art works are going to be displayed in the auditorium. That's why Mr. Kakashi wasn't too happy most people didn't finish their portraits early enough. The art display is going to be tomorrow, and people from the local collage are coming to see which ones they'd like to enter into the art competition they are holding. It's an annual thing and it'll start next week. No high school student as ever won top prize, I honestly don't care. Art shouldn't be a competition, I'm showing my art because Mr. Kakshi thinks I'll be a sure win to be entered and maybe even win higher then fourth place—which is the highest any student from this school as ever won. I had refused to put my work in the auditorium last year, but now I see no real harm.

I put up the painting of the blonde. The background was a soft blue gray, giving off the look of fog. There was a dark circle at the right corner, representing a dying sun, along with trees their branches drooping.

When I get back to the art room, to get another piece my teacher had ask for me to display I notice Naruto still standing by the door. Watching as some people bring out there work. He spots me, but I walk past ignoring him, though he looked like he was about to say something. When I carefully pick up the clay figure, that had been fired and painted only three weeks ago, I head back to the auditorium. But I'm stopped once I step out of the art room.

"Hey what's going on?" The blonde asks, I say nothing and keep going, he follows. He's eyes land on what I'm carrying. "Wow," he whispers quietly. I enter the auditorium, and put the small figure next to my painting. The blonde looks around, him.

"Is this like an art show?" He asks, once again I say nothing. "Whoa don't explain to fast, I can hardly understand what you're saying," he says sarcastic. I glare at the boy, he only lets a grin spread over his face. He's eyes once again go to the clay figure. It's a pregnant woman, chains on her hands, her head bowed, and two little devil like creatures on either side of her. I walk back out of the auditorium. Naruto runs after me

"Do you like never draw anything happy?" He asks.

"Life isn't a happy place, only ignorant idiots would believe otherwise," I say plainly. I shift my eyes to see the reaction of the blonde. I was surprised what I saw. A smile on his lips, but it had no happiness behind it.

"Really? Sometimes it's best to ignore sadness, instead embrace it-ttebayo+!" he explains, smiling at me. He's eyes forming into little slits. This smile was happy, bright, almost reassuring even. And a strange feeling ran through me. This statement was almost intelligent.

"Well I got's to go," he says waving, and then leaves going in the direction of the library. I go to my room, Kankuro wasn't there. I look at the pictures on my wall. No, I've never drawn anything happy. Maybe when I was younger, but that all changed after…

Best to ignore sadness…I would be forgetting him then wouldn't I? Some things you can't ignore, and who is he to tell me how to act? I see nothing wonderful about this world, or the people that inhabit it. Especially the ones that are suppose to care for me. I'm fine on my own, embracing reality, sadness, instead of living in a dream.

* * *

-ttebayo+- It's the Japanese word Naruto uses originally instead of "Believe it!" It' shows a tone of being uncultured and brusque, and I found that in that sentence it would fit better then "Believe it!" 

A/N: Hoped you liked this chapter. Nothing big happened but this chapter was important. Please review, thank you!


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I have a new beta. Man that was fast wasn't it? Anyways I'm thankful for her.

Chapter 4: An artistic touch

**Gaara's POV**

I take out a pad of paper, overcome by memories and inspiration. I take out pastels, oil paints and water colors, all of them different shades of orange and yellow. I go into a state of madness as different medias connect with the plain white paper. Once the paper was covered with the different shapes of orange and yellow, I look at my hands. There was paint on them.

I jolt up and rummage through my night stand, taking out a pocketknife and go back to my painting. I hold my hand over the paper, as I cut into each one of my fingers. The red substance I hadn't seen in so long dripped out. I had always had a fascination with it, after that day…

Though once I came to school here, I suppressed my need to see the liquid of life. I run my hand over the painting, where I think it's needed. I sit back, and look at the work. For the last touch I bring my thumb down in the almost middle of the page. I us my nails to form spikes, that belonged to the little child in the picture. The child's back was to the viewer of the painting, he sat in front of a figure, laying on their side. They were both engulfed in flames.

"It's best to live in reality, and not ignore the pain it brings along", I tell myself as I flip close my pad that contained my new painting.

I'm sitting in the courtyard, sketchbook in hand. Along with the biology book I just checked out of the library. It shows the muscle and skeleton structure of humans, along with other animals. I didn't care for the caption of information that went with the pictures. Then I noticed the presence of another next to me. My pencil stops and my eyes roll up to the side to see who's bothering me. It came to no surprise when I saw the annoying little blonde next to me.

"Morning," he says happily grinning. I say nothing in return, only close my sketchbook, and my library book. "Today's the art show why aren't you there?"

"Why should I be?"

"Mmmm, good point." The blonde thinks for a little bit longer. "Well don't you want to explain what your paintings mean? Or get the complements the people will give you? A lot of the students are down there sitting next to their paintings, and shit. Why not you?"

"Art needs no explanation, it is what you make it. I need no compliments, I draw for myself, not for others' pleasure," I mumble. Not many people understand this. Most of my classmates see this as arrogance, and mockery, so they hate me. Not that I care, they aren't true artist if they can't understand.

"You're weird," the blonde says chuckling a little. "Everyone likes compliments." I look at him dully, and he gets up. "Come on, everyone else in your class is there!" He says loudly, waving for me to come. I stare at him, just wishing he'd leave me alone. When the boy notices that I'm not planning on going to the auditorium, he sits back down next to me.

It was peacefully quite for the longest time, and I had hope that maybe the boy would get bored and leave me be. I was wrong. Naruto looked up at the sky, almost child like, not making a move to leave. I hadn't noticed I was staring until he turns his head to look at me, a soft smile forming on his lips. I look away, my eyes locked on the ground. I don't understand his fascination with me.

"Why are you always out here by yourself?"

"Because I want to be alone," I say plainly. Though he's interfering with that plan right now. People passed by us, looking at us strangely.

"You're always alone, don't you ever want to be around people? A friend?"

"No," I say coldly. I don't understand him. What are his motives? Mere friendship? Why would he want to be friends with me? I haven't been kindly to him in any way, on top of that there are those rumors people like to spread.

"What is it with you? Why can't you leave me alone?" I ask him, glaring at the boy.

"Cause I find you interesting. You seem like a nice guy," I snort and get up. Nice? I haven't been nice to anyone, just tolerant. I gather my things and seek a place where I can be alone.

A week has past, and I've gotten used to the blonde annoying me. I've come to think of him as my muse, for every time he's around, and says something of intelligence—which is rare—I always get inspired. It's strange, is this what people call friendship? No, just because I've gotten used to him doesn't mean we are friends. He always comes out to the courtyard to see me. He also always talks, though I mainly don't speak back.

I recall on Wednesday, he had been talking about science. "I mean how can science explain everything? People like that piss me off. What about ghosts. Have you ever seen a ghost?" he had asked. Of course I ignored the question.

"When I was small, I use to believe in fairies and shit like that. Of course in school people always told me it wasn't real, and that I was being…" he trailed off trying to think, "ignorant, I think was the word. Ya know, prove to me that unicorns didn't exist! There's no clues saying that they did or didn't, so you can't really," he goes on.

Later that evening I had drawn a picture of a decaying unicorn, and an evil nymph with blonde hair picking at its flesh.

"Today's the big day!" The blonde shouts, I try to tune him out. "You should totally go to the collage to see how they judge your art and crap," he encourages me. Only three pieces of art were selected from this school to go into the collage show. One of them was my painting of Naruto.

**Naruto's POV**

I've been cracking Gaara open slowly this whole week. Sure he doesn't talk too much, but he lets me be around him. It won't be long until my game is done. But I didn't want it to be done. I wanted Gaara to stay a mystery, cause something about him is so ….I don't know how to say it. I just know I can't leave him be. I've become obsessed with the little red head. He's so different from Sasuke, and much more interesting than him too. A feeling comes to my stomach, it felt like my tummy was trying to float away.

This feeling's been confusing me, I get it every time I'm around the red head. That hadn't happened with Sasuke. I let out a sigh, and just look at Gaara sitting peacefully. He wasn't going to move to go to the collage. I wonder if he's ever left campus at all!

Sasuke then appeared seemingly out of nowhere. "Naruto, come with me," he says waving his hand at me. I nod my head and get to my feet.

"Tell me once you find out how your painting stood up compared to the others," I tell Gaara who says nothing, as expected. I go with Sasuke, to the library where he was heading.

"Why are you around him so much?" Sasuke asks me once we entered the library.

"Why do you ask? I can be around anyone I like," I huff.

"Kiba said you've been around him all week. We both think you should keep away. The kids unstable and strange. He hardly even talks to you back."

"Neither did you at first," I point out.

"Yes but, people also didn't call me a blood sucker. Just stay away Naruto. You could be putting yourself into a position you may not like later on," Sasuke tells me. I had a feeling this was more of his thoughts then Kiba. I know Kiba isn't the type to send someone else to talk for him. He'd tell me what he thinks straight to my face. I shrug it off, and just go to a free computer in the library and surf the net, while Sasuke's picking out books he finds interesting.

On Monday there were a lot of new rumors going around the school. Of course all of them had something to do with either the art show or Gaara. During many of my classes I heard:

"They've been around each other a lot. Gaara and the kid in his painting." I couldn't help but think how it's any of their business who I hang around with. First Sasuke, now the whole school. What's so amazing about me finding the outcast of the school interesting?

"They say the only reason why he won first place was because he used some sort of witch craft to control the outcome. Which is why he was nowhere in sight, when they announced he'd won."

"The kid's weird, and didn't deserve to win first place. There's just no way he can be that good, he must have cheated somehow."

And one that didn't really have anything to do with the art show that kinda disturbed me was: "His brother told me, he uses blood to paint pictures sometimes. So whenever you see red in a painting, it's probably someone's blood. The little sick freak."

Most of the rumors were probably made up by jealous people, but the last one still kinda rubs me the wrong way. But also these new rumors inspired me to go bug the red head even more. To find out even more about him. As I thought about that, my stomach was going through that strange feeling again so I just pushed it aside. Once I entered my last class of the day, I spotted Gaara in his normal seat, looking down at his hands. My heart jumps. I stop dead in my tracks, surprised my heart would skip a beat. I shake my head, and go to sit next to Kiba.

"What was up with the deer in the headlights look you just had?" He asks.

"Huh? Oh nothing, just remembered something I had forgot," I lie. I sit and think about that weird feeling I had had for the whole class period, not at all paying attention to what the teacher was saying.

When the school day was over I went to the courtyard were I was sure to find my pray. Though I had thought about not going at first, that weird tummy feeling settling in again. But I did in the end. "Congratulations!" I say very loudly, as I stand in front of the red head. He only slowly raises his head to look at me. "People've been talking about how you won first place in that art show thing." Gaara goes back to reading a book he held in his hands. Which I noticed had Band-Aids on each finger.

"Of course I was a good model, I mean no wonder you won," I complement myself. "But you did a good job capturing my godly beauty, I suppose," I add that part to try and get a reaction out of the red head. All I got was a little sigh I didn't hear until it was nearly done. It was quiet for a long time after that. I thought about things I could say. I found myself really wanting him to respond to me.

"Hey, have you ever left campus, for like the weekend or something?" I say waiting for a response. The red head turns a page of his book, before laying eyes on me and shaking his head, 'no'.

"I thought as much. You should really get out sometime," Gaara didn't seem too interested in the idea. "We ..we could do something together," I find myself stating shyly. I sounded like some girl! I felt stupid for a moment, and didn't at all notice the strange look Gaara gave me. He gets up and starts to walk away.

"You could at least answer my offer with words!" I yell at the retreating back, a bunch of people who were walking by stop and stare. What is people's problem? Why are they so nosy and shit?

"I don't think so," Gaara says coldly before continuing his retreat. A heavy feeling came over me, and I though to myself that it shouldn't bother me that much. But it did.

A/N: Hoped you like, next time some tricks up Naruto's sleeves! Please review, thanks!


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: Tricks and teases

**Naruto's POV**

I still feel kinda low 'cause Gaara had turned me down. It really confused me, feeling like this. I really should have expected it. After all, the red head's not really social. The best way I know how to get rid of this feeling is playing pranks. I had sat on my bed for a long time thinking of a trick I could play on the red head that would get him to step outside of the school. I could come up with nothing, but I didn't give up on the idea. I'd think of something sooner or later. In the mean time I'll have some fun.

First I messed with Neji's pen during peer tutoring, and the ink went all over the paper he was correcting that I had handed to him. He was in the middle of explaining what I had done wrong, and his pen touched the paper, he pressed down and the pen broke leaving ink behind. He got pissed because he was already frustrated with me for not understanding what I was doing wrong. I really think this peer tutoring isn't his thing.

After that me and Kiba let Mr. Orochimaru's pet snake loose, during a lab about cell division we had to do. Mr. Orochimaru went nuts, after all his snake is like his child. Gaara was the one who calmly pulled out the snake from under a table, and handed it to the teacher. Of course this started an uproar of whispers, until Mr. Orochimaru told everyone to be quiet. Then he demanded to know who had let his 'baby' out. No one could pin it on Kiba or me. The whole class ended up writing the cell theory a hundred times over again on a sheet of paper, instead of doing the lab.

Sasuke's gone taking a shower. I sit on my bed still thinking of a way to get Gaara to step out of the school gates and maybe hang with me. I've never been so…obsessed? Could I really use that word? I don't know, all I know is that Gaara bugs me, and he makes me feel like there's something itching inside me, and I just want to get up and move. Usually when I move I end up in the courtyard were he's always to be found. I look out the window, and sure enough I can see him there. He looked to just be thinking, sitting alone not really doing anything. I let out a little sigh, and a weird dreamy sensation came over me, which was soon interrupted by:

"Naruto!" I look up and in the doorway trapped behind plastic wrap was Sasuke. "Take this down before I kill you," he threatens. I grin. I had stretched plastic wrap across the doorway while he was gone, another prank. You can't see the wrap so you walk straight into it thinking there's nothing there. I grin even wider as I take down the wrap. Sasuke walks past me, his hair still damp.

"What's up with you Naruto?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been so weird, I thought you gave up pranking last year."

"Me, give up pranking? Yeah right!" I fall back onto my bed.

"Is everything all right?" Sasuke asks, a hint of concern in his voice. I look up at him, his face cold. He doesn't look like he cares, but I can tell he does. He wouldn't have asked otherwise.

"Yeah I'm cool. Are you sure you're not the one acting weird lately?" Sasuke only gives me a snorting noise, the one he always makes. Translated it means, 'yeah right', or 'you wish'.

My pranking on innocent souls went on for weeks. All the while I was brain storming trying to think of a way to get to Gaara. During this week I had noticed—mainly 'cause I admit I was kinda spying—notes on the red heads bedroom door. Jealous classmates had left them there. Now calling him a witch and such, talking about all kinds of things that weren't true. Gaara for the first couple of days had just calmly took them off, but only more came the next day, until Gaara just ignored the notes altogether.

I had thought of something, though not at all a prank, but it was something. I took the time to write a letter, sticking it high enough on the red heads door so he could see it. I took off all the other hateful notes, so only mine was there on it's own. Then I sat and waited. Looking out my window seeing the red head in the courtyard like always, this time not doing anything just sitting there. My heart speeded up with excitement, once I saw him get to his feet. Was I overreacting? Is it really that big of a deal for me to get his attention? I didn't think about it too long, instead going to my door opening it a little and peeking out and down the hall.

I watched, my heart beating fast. What the hells up with that? Anyways, Gaara finally reaches the door, and takes a pause. He looks at the note for what seemed like forever before ripping it of, with an emotionless expression. He didn't crumble the paper up, and the weirdest feeling of hope came over me. He just neatly folded it, and opened the door to step inside his room. What happens to the paper in there I don't know.

I was overly happy the next day, grinning the whole school day through. In the end I had sat outside waiting for the outcast to show up. And like always he did. He sat down, nothing in his hand, and there was quiet. A quiet that for some odd reason I didn't want to destroy.

"You're a strange thing," were the only words that he spoke coldly. My eyebrow twitched, I didn't like being called a thing!

"Like you're one to talk," I say loudly, not at all hiding my dislike of the word 'thing'.

He turns and looked at me, his face blank. Then he got up and walked away. Leaving me with only one phrase, "Just leave me alone."

But, Naruto Uzumaki has never 'just left someone alone'. I may back off a little, but once my pray always my pray. I let out a frustrated sound. After all somehow everything he says gets to me. I sit for a week still thinking of something. My pranking has stopped, and I'm not so talkative to everyone's amazement.

Saturday night money was all spent so Kiba and I walked up to our dorms. "Naruto what was up with you tonight. You weren't really yourself," Kiba points out. I only shrug. "Man don't make me ask you about your feelings!"

"It's nothing Kiba, don't piss your pants," I reassure him. A group of three boys comes our way.

"If you say so man," Kiba says with a little bit of a sigh.

The group of boys had notes in their hand and I knew exactly where they were going. After all we had past Gaara's room not too long ago. I wanted to do something, stop them, but would that be suspicious? Would Kiba start talking like Sasuke if I did? I listened in on the boys talking as they came closer, they were laughing.

"This note stuff must piss the little emo off."

"Yeah but it's kinda childish. I know something better," there was a pause as we passed, I meet eyes with the one who just finished talking. After we passed each other they continued, and I slowed my steps.

"So what's your idea?"

"Tomorrow, the collage is going to return the picture he drew so this school can display it. I think Kakashi was the one who asked for it back, either way before it'll be hung up anywhere it'll make a pit stop at the library." The group busted out in laughter, as if knowing exactly what the other was thinking.

"Naruto why'd you stop?"

"Oh sorry man, I'm tired," I force out a fake yawn before catching up with Kiba. Then saying goodnight as we both open our doors to our rooms.

**Gaara's POV**

The little blonde boy, who I've taken as a muse of some sort, is very annoying. I don't really understand him, and this lack of understanding both intrigues and irritates me. I wish he would just leave me be, but then again I like to study him. He's a strange one, having the guts to hang around me for so long. And ask me on two different occasions to hang out with him.

I don't want to, for I honestly believe I would end up beating him to a bloody bulk. Like I've said he's very annoying, and I don't wish to be around him—or anyone else for that matter. I just want to be alone, and I don't need the pity of others. I need no friends, no matter how much society insist that humans are social creatures. Being around people isn't my thing, I've grown out of it I suppose you could say. I no longer feel the need to be around people, or to be wanted by others.

Yet Naruto is someone I can deal with. Though he's irritating, he's the only one I haven't been able to scare or bore off. He sticks around, and because of that I tolerate him. But a friendship is nothing I hope to form. I'm just better off on my own. Then again I do sometimes look forward to having the company by my side as I brainstorm down in the courtyard. A moment of peace so many times interrupted, it just doesn't feel the same without the annoying nymph there. But tolerance is far from a bond of friendship. No matter how much I find his presence a comfortable familiar routine, I will not reach out to him, or grasp his hand for that matter. I should be scolding myself right now, for even accepting that routine as familiar. I shouldn't get attached, and I should find a way to divert the boy's strange interest in me.

I was informed not too long ago by Mr. Kakashi that he had asked for my painting back, to display it here at school. He wants me to be a part of picking where it should be hung. Though I find it stupid and think he should just be the one to hang it. He seems to have taken a sort of pride to have me as a student, ever since I won that contest.

I'm heading to the library now. I hope to get this over with fast.

"Gaara, there you are. I was wondering if you had taken the picture?" My teacher asks. I shake my head no.

"It's gone, the painting is gone," he says sounding a little angry, but not at all over reacting to the situation. I was calm, somehow I wasn't surprised. It would be just like someone in my art class to have taken it, and destroyed it because of hate and jealousy. Sadly that's how many people boost their self confidence, through the pain of others. Though I won't show any pain, it would only please them.

"We'll have to find it," Mr. Kakashi says, with that we both split up to look for it. I didn't really want to do this, if someone is getting pleasure out of this, we are only fanning the flames. But then again I can't let my work be ruined. I wouldn't let my work be ruined. I tried thinking of what someone would do. I came up with nothing. Deciding the best place to think like always would be the courtyard I head to my spot. Upon arriving there I notice a piece of paper with a rock on top of it so it won't blow away. I pick it up and read it. It says:

I have you're painting, come to the gate.

This being the only lead I have, I head to the gate. On the way, disappointment in human kind running through me. Why must people be such idiots? I reach the gate and there was another letter. I was in no mood for a wild goose chase, but I read the thing anyway:

Come on out, and look around. Maybe you'll like not always being on campus.

The moment I read this I knew who it was that took my painting. The guard opened the gate and I stormed out looking around, and found the idiot blond to my right, painting in hand.

A/N: A little cliff I suppose. Anyways hope you liked, and hope you'll leave reviews, and tune in next time.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sorry for the late update, I've been sick for like a week! And then it just seemed to take me forever to finally finish this chapter up. Hope you enjoy, and I'll be working on the next chapter, so hopefully it won't take me forever to update again.

Chapter 6: This feeling

**Gaara's POV**

I walk up to the blonde holding my painting, not at all showing any anger or any other emotion for that matter. Though worry was apparent on the others face. I take the painting from him, and there was a long silence before I spoke.

"If you're smart, then never let me see your face again," I say, venom dripping from those words. Then I turn to leave, but Naruto did not know when to leave people be.

"Wait, you don't—"

I glare at him, not wanting him to speak, and for awhile it shut him up. But then his eyebrows frown together, as he gives me a look I can't put my finger on. It wasn't a mean look or a sad one at that, but maybe a determined look. Either way I paused, then walked no further expecting him to converse.

"You don't even know the whole story, you just get pissed at me. All I wanted was to get you off campus, and for weeks I tried to think of a way how. 'Cause just simply asking you didn't work, 'cause you're too high and mighty to want to spend time with someone who's actually trying to get to know you. Anyway if I hadn't of taken that picture then some jerks would have gotten there first and messed it up-ttebayo!"

I stare at the blonde unbelieving, no one's ever said anything like that to me, and no one's ever wanted to help me. I do believe he saved my painting, but is this cause to start a friendship? The thought didn't settle with me too well. Not knowing what to say I just leave to return to the library.

I waited awhile until Mr. Kakashi came back, and then we picked a spot for the picture. In the hallway right before you reach the principal's office is were we hung it.

After that I went back up to my room, were Kankuro was to be found. "Did you hang your painting up?" He questions politely, but in a tone of disinterest. I nod my head. "Well, here's a letter for you from Temari," he explains giving the letter to me. It's rare for me to get anything from our home. I go to my gloomy part of the room, and sit on my black sheets on my bed. Opening the letter, I feel somewhat of a fear. Why would I be sent a letter? Even if it is from my sister, why would she take the time to write to me?

Gaara,

I've heard that your art is taking you places in this school, like wining first prize in a contest. Though Father may overlook your talent, I'm proud of you. With spring break approaching fast I need to say that you are missed, by me, but much like all the other years only Kankuro is welcomed home this spring. Maybe one day Father will stop being so childish and welcome you home, along with Kankuro. Don't be bitter, and try to enjoy yourself at school. Hope you're doing well, and I don't mean grade wise, but maybe made some friends? Probably not, but I hope one day you'll come out of your shell.

Anyway in this letter, much like always is a little bag of home. I know how much you like it. I know you won't write back also.

Your dearest sister,

Temari

I look in the envelope the letter came in, and inside is a small bag of sand. I throw away the letter, and scoot to the edge of my bed at the end, reaching for my gourd. I take the cork out and pour in the small bag of sand. I hadn't even noticed how close spring break really was. But now that I look at the calendar it's only a week away. I'll be staying on campus with the other boys, who's homes are too far away to visit in the short amount of time, or who also aren't wanted.

**Naruto's POV**

I'm sitting on my bed pissed as hell. I thought getting that painting would be a great way to trick Gaara into enjoying the 'outside world'. On top of that he should be thanking me! But no! He's just being a moody emo, and god that pisses me off! I pull on my hair and fall back on my mattress, grinding my teeth.

"What's your problem?" Sasuke asks raising an eyebrow as he looks up from his novel.

"Nothing," I stretch the word out with a sigh. Sasuke only looked at me hard, and then turned back to continue reading with a little shake of his head.

I let go of my blonde spikes, and just stare at the ceiling. Was what I said to the little red head harsh? Should I really not bother him anymore? I have no freaking idea why I want Gaara's attention so bad. All I know is that I felt like I lost today and it sucks. Is it really that hard to get to know the red head? Even though he threatened me to leave him alone and not let him see my face again, I don't think I'll be able to do that. I roll off my bed and cut off the lights, Sasuke only grumbling a little as he takes out a little light to clip onto his book. I'm tired and exhausted, and I just want to sleep off my pissy mood. It didn't help that tomorrow we had to go to class, I just didn't feel like doing anything. I hate Mondays!

Like I predicted, today isn't my day. It's amazing I'm actually paying attention to what Neji is saying, only understanding a little bit of what I did wrong. Then I quietly re-do the math problems, Neji enjoying the peace very much. Though he ignored the fact that Shikamaru was sleeping, and not doing what he was suppose to do. Like I said before the guy's smart, he just doesn't try.

In science Kiba was staring at me the whole time. Most likely wondering what's up, I must be acting strange to him. Once again I do everything I'm told to do, and don't once open my mouth to speak to my friend sitting next to me. Kiba didn't push me to talk, he probably doesn't want to end up hearing about my emotional problems, which is most likely what he thinks is wrong. Kiba's a good guy, just gets really, really uncomfortable around emotions.

Do I have emotional problems? No, I don't think so. I just think this whole Gaara thing is bothering me. He should have caved in by now! No, he just tells me to leave him alone! But then why am I so obsessed? Right when I ask myself this, I hear footsteps, I look up to find Gaara turning in his completed work. A creepy crawly feeling came over me, and my stomach just felt weird. It didn't help when the boy turned around and we made eye contact for a short time. God I felt like I was gonna throw up then and there, when those green eyes met mine. I quickly lower my head and can't help but put my hand over my mouth. What is wrong with me? I never felt like this when I was trying to befriend Sasuke.

"You ok man?" Kiba whispers. I remove my hand from my mouth, and give him a grin.

"Yup, what would be wrong?" I try to play off my confusing sickness. Kiba only lifted an eyebrow and went back to finishing up his worksheet.

I lay in bed, and Sasuke was on his computer. I know he's looking at me every once in a while, most likely an annoyed look on his face. Which means he's worried. I could hear him sigh, and I knew that meant he was about to start up a conversation. But that conversation starter was interrupted by a knock on the door. Sasuke got up and went to the door, I didn't even bother to look who it was. Instead I turn my head to look out the window. The sky was dark, and I knew Gaara was sitting out there. If I would lift my head just a little I would be able to see the red head. I do so lifting my head up, and indeed Gaara sat in his usual place. I let out a sigh. Why was the sight of him bringing out love sick sounding sighs, and sick feelings?

It was bothersome and I don't want to think about why I was acting so weird, I let my head fall back down. A part of me wanted to go down to the courtyard and talk to the red head, even if he is ungrateful, and maybe a lost cause. I really didn't want to give up. I'm obsessed, that's all you can call it. But why? It really bothered me that I didn't understand why. But I also didn't take the time to really think about it. I'm not the type to analyze myself, usually the answer comes out eventually at the weirdest time. That's when I realize things, at weird times. Like when I realized I had won Sasuke over as a friend, I was in the lunchroom, and the smart remark he had made finally registered and it had dawned on me. I remember being happy about it, and people staring at me while I was on top of the table.

The remark Sasuke had made was, "Since I have to deal with you for as long as I'm at this school, I might as well try and not be bothered too much by your stupidity. After all, idiots are hard to get rid of, they're too dense to get a hint." I hadn't thought about what that really meant. All I knew is that I was being called stupid. And I had let Sasuke know I didn't like being called stupid.

"Naruto, man snap out of it!" I hear Kiba's voice. I look up to find my friend there, and Sasuke gone.

"Hey what are you doing here?" I ask my friend.

"You've been acting really strange lately, so I brought booze." Ah yes, Kiba's answer to almost everything. He pulled out a bottle of some un-named alcoholic beverage.

**Gaara's POV**

I get up from my usual place in the courtyard. It was starting to rain, and I had been out here long enough. A part of me hoped the little annoying blonde would show. He didn't and it angered me that I was even thinking about the brat.

All I can do is think about his attempts to befriend me. It's very strange and a big part of me doesn't trust his motives. But I small part of me tells me to not be so defensive, to possibly be somewhat friendly to the kid. I grimace. I don't think so, it's just not me. I'd rather be untrusting, it was easier. I didn't want a friend, I was fine without them, why let someone be my friend now? It only leads to back stabbing, I'm sure. But I've gotten so used to the annoying voice of Naruto talking about childish things, while flailing his arms wildly. Me, just siting and ignoring him as the peace of my courtyard retreat is familiarly interrupted.

What a stupid thought, what a silly familiarity. I could care less if the blonde never showed his face again. At least now I have some peace when I'm sitting in the courtyard. That's what I originally wanted, that's why I sit outside. Connected more to nature than the idiotic people in the school. The peaceful chirping of birds, and the small flowers and weeds that grow in the high flower bed I always sit on the edge of.

Still I find myself staring down the hallway where I know the blonde's dorm is. Would it be so bad? My face scrunches up in disgust at the thought, and I tightly grip the handle to my room, before forcibly opening it. Kankuro started with a surprised look, but once he saw it was just me he relaxed.

I go to my corner of the room, and look up at the paintings I've hung to decorate the wall. Then I gather my cloths, and head to the shower rooms to get ready for bed. Once I re-enter my shared room with my brother—who'd already taken to bed—I climb into my bed. I stay awake a while longer, just looking at my paintings. They kept my mind off of things, and gave me an escape. I didn't much feel like going to class tomorrow, but I have too. I shut my eyes, and try to get some sleep, though sleep didn't come easy. It was one of those nights. Sometimes I had trouble getting to sleep, a little bit of insomnia, a spell that comes over me sometimes. I was forced to think on things, seeing as I couldn't get to sleep.

Naturally my mind drifted to Naruto. I would once again sit outside tomorrow and hope he would show up. Maybe having a person to hang out with won't be so bad. I look at my paintings, trying to find peace. The idea really didn't sit well with me. I really just wanted to be left alone. But a small part of me still wanted the familiar voice of the blonde to interrupt my peace. Would a friendship between us really work out? I didn't want to think about it. I'm happiest alone, I always have been. Though I did feel somewhat bad for the blonde. He'd never given up, not at all getting a hint. But then what I had said not long ago about leaving me alone had stuck, seemingly. I don't understand the kid, or maybe I expect him to start up with his strange interest in me again.

I felt fear, of some sort. I have my peace now, I shouldn't think on trivial things, I tell myself and then roll onto my back closing my eyes in hope that sleep would visit. It never came. Though in a way I did dream, as I stare at my paintings on the wall. They seemed to form into my muse. The annoying little nymph that is picking at my brain. Having cracked open my skull, and now pulling out sections of my brain to make room for himself. So that I may not stop thinking about his strange interest in me.

A/N: Slowly Gaara's cracking, if only Naruto knew he was starting to get to the red head. Review if you please, it would please me!


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7: Spring break

**Naruto's POV**

The week of school seemed to fly by, and now it's spring break! Sasuke was going home and goddamn was he being moody about it! He hasn't said a word to me the whole time he's been packing, on top of that he has 'that look'. The one that makes you think he's about to kill someone. I didn't ask about it, I remember last spring break I asked what was up and got yelled at! Kiba's packing too, the only ones not packing is me and Shino. Shino lives too far away to go visit in such a short time, and same with me. It was part of the reason why this all boys school was picked for me. It's far away from my hometown, and from bad memories.

Once I said good bye to my two friends, Shino and I head to his dorm. There wasn't much for me to do, and I hated being by myself. Anyway Shino's a cool guy, just not the talking type. That's all right though, I'll do the talking for the both of us.

"So what are we going to do all spring break? Party? Prank?" I remember last year I had dragged Shino out to do some damage on the school, using graffiti. Shino wasn't so sure about it at first, but then picked up a can of his own and joined me. Of course we got caught and had to clean the wall. Shino isn't usually the type to do that kinda stuff, but I wouldn't say he's a goody-two-shoes either.

"I don't think I'll do any of that this year," Shino says in a monotone voice. I shrug my shoulders, it's his lost. "Kiba's been concerned for you," comes the next sentence. Who would have thought Shino would be so talkative today?

"Why?" I ask.

"He says you've been acting strange. It worries him." Shino says with no emotion behind his words.

"Well tell him there's nothing to worry about," I say in a cheerful voice and make to leave.

"I'd think it would worry him less, if you were the one to tell him nothing its wrong," Shino points out.

"Yeah, I get the hint! I'll talk to him after he gets back from spring break, so he won't have to worry and shit," I say. Shino only gives me a nod when I look in his direction. Then I leave to go into my room.

Am I really acting that different that even Kiba's worried? I think Sasuke understands what I'm doing and that's why he's not worried. He knows that the same thing I did to him I'm doing to Gaara. He tells me to stay away though. I wonder why, did he have a bad experience with the red head? He seems to only be looking out for me, but I still can't help but think 'what's his problem?' I mean I don't really understand Sasuke, of course, he's the type of person that's hard to understand. All I know, for some odd reason Sasuke doesn't want me around Gaara, and now Kiba's worried. Is this really any different from Sasuke? Something has to be the trigger for my friends' worry and stuff. Am I really obsessed?

I still don't know what to do. I go to my window and look out, Gaara's sitting in his usual place. I sigh, once again that odd sounding sigh. I don't know if I should go down there. He had said he doesn't what me around, so is it such a good idea to—Who cares! I ain't given up! I broke Sasuke and I'll be damned if this outcast known for his coldness and rumors about him will be the first not to crack! It's just not my style to give up. I still want to know the story behind the boy, if any of the rumors are true. I head for my bedroom door, I won't be scared away by some little threat. The whole past week I've left him alone, he thinks he's safe. Well he's wrong!

"You," I point at the boy once I reach the courtyard. He stares at me bored. I don't even know why I'm sounding so angry or pointing.

"So how've you been?" My voice takes on a lighter tone. If the red head had eyebrows I'm sure one would be lifted 'cause of my weird behavior. I get no response whatsoever. "Come on, you still mad?" Gaara only looks at me, but once again nothing is said. I sit, hell I ain't leaving, but I need to think of something to talk about. Just ask a bunch of questions, eventually he'll answer. Great, my usual technique, but what to ask? While I was thinking of stuff to say I glanced at Gaara, just short little looks. Every time I did my heart sped up. What's up with that?

"So…" I pause, then go on. "Why aren't you home? Too far away?"

"Why are you still here?" His voice was cold, and it felt like he just stabbed me. I stared at him for a while, completely still. He didn't look at me, just the ground.

"I have a right to be where I want to be. Anyways you always look so lonely. Hell, I'm just trying to do you a favor."

"I meant why aren't you home," he says calmly now looking at me.

"Oh," I say dumbly. "My home town's like miles away from here," I say casually. Then there's quiet again.

"Hey you're not going to answer my question? I answered yours!"

"You actually took my advice," he states in a monotone voice.

"What?"

"You left me alone. What do you want know?" He says in the same stoic voice.

"Don't change the subject! Like I said I can be where I wanna be," I huff, crossing my arms over my chest. Quiet again. I go on to talk about other things, ignoring his question just like he ignored mine. I tell about mine and Shino's prank last spring break.

"What do you usually do for spring break. I mean you never leave campus right?" He says nothing just like I thought he would. I let out a sigh, and go on talking about nothing really in particular. Though I doubt he's listening, if I annoy him long enough I'm sure he'll say something, talk back. I can't give up. I can't let him win, even if it does sound obsessive. Sasuke was a hard nut to crack, but Gaara's even more fun. I keep talking, and talking and talking, and I soon find myself lost in a happy sort of feeling. When I'm with Gaara I can just rant on, and even if he's not listening, he doesn't make me feel dumb or tell me to shut up. I look at the red head, and here comes that weird sick feeling in my stomach again. I pause only a little while then look at the ground and continue my rant. Gaara doesn't seem to notice.

No I won't give up. Gaara's way too interesting of a subject. He does something to me, I can't explain.

**Gaara's POV**

The irritatingly wonderful sound of familiar annoyance graces my ears. Meaningless raving once again is present in my time of peace. I couldn't help but think it was too quiet out here before the blonde nymph had come to bring a familiar noise with him. Most of the school is gone, and it was just too silent, never had I noticed how still it could be. Also never had I noticed how much I liked constant sound during my time of tranquillity. Constant sound is just what the blond brings. It's as if he doesn't even stop to take a breath of air.

I get up as the sun is close to setting. Naruto was in the middle of a sentence, and then he stops. I walk past him, and I almost found the anger on his face amusing. He watches me leave, and before I open the door to the dorms I hear footsteps behind me. I enter, knowing he's close behind. I go to my empty room. The thought of having a room to myself always pleases me during spring break. I take out a large sketchpad deciding on passing the time by drawing.

What a strange attachment I have to the boy. Well I wouldn't call it an attachment, but I can't find a better-suited word to explain it. All I know is that knowing now that every time I sit outside in the courtyard the blonde will mostly show up, brings me peace of mind. It's only because I want the sound of his annoying voice to bring a steady rhythm, much like a much more grating version of a mother's lullaby. For the baby does not understand the words, only the beat in which they are sung.

This however does not mean that I plan to encourage him in his ludicrous pursuit to be my friend. I just won't push him away. His talking is just too proverbial to me now, and that's the only 'attachment' I have to this person. Friendship is something I don't wish to engage in. As long as the boy doesn't do anything stupid I'll stay neutral. Neither a friend nor foe, just a box he has yet to find the key to open. And never shall that key be found. I wonder how long he'd stay. Not having any success in getting me to become a friend. He'd have to give up some time, yet I think it'll be long before that happened. He has such a strange interest in me, no one's ever tried so hard to try and get to know me. No one's ever made me ponder about them as much as he's made me ponder his motives. Honestly there are so many other people in this school, why has he singled me out?

On I wonder about the blonde sprite, and on came the days where he would keep me company. On came the days of only passing my time by drawing. I soon found myself staying longer in the courtyard, till well after the sunset. Naruto would stay also, the constant rhythm of his voice never stopping. Pointing out things in the area, the time, talking about things most teenagers talk about, or the occasional flawed philosophy and theories he'd come up with. They made no sense whatsoever but I found them amusing to listen to. Whenever I was outside, not long after I'd find the nymph ready to start it's feasting.

It is on an odd day, and I was positive he wouldn't come. It was raining a spring shower, light and long, drizzling. He was speaking about his philosophies once more, and I had found this one interesting enough to actually tune in. What had made me tune in while I wasn't paying any attention whatsoever was the strange tone of voice. It was a tone that had never come up in his ranting. A sad tone, and it made me want to listen.

"I can understand how you can want to be alone sometimes. But to be alone all the time, I don't get that. I never liked being alone. I can understand how some people can get on your nerves, hell I probably do!" He says that one sentence with cheer, but then his voice went back to a sad murmur. How can he just change emotions so quickly? What a strange boy he is, there was no need for cheer in that statement yet there it was. As if he was lifting himself, as if he didn't want to be swallowed by the sound of sorrow.

"It makes me think, why are you so quiet? What did people do to you to make you like this? Were you always like this? Even if you want to be alone sometimes, why iso..iso.." the boy had trouble saying the word. It actually made him sound inexperienced in the use of the word, as if not intelligent enough to say t. "..isolate yourself?" The boy stared off past the rain and at the stars. How long have I been pleasing my ear with long-winded babble?

"I never liked being alone," he says while a yawn escapes him. "I guess that's why I can't stand to see you out here by yourself. You look like no one wants to play with you…." His eyes grew heavy but continue talking he did. "You look like…when I was lonely," it was the last soft whisper he could manage to speak. His eyes fell closed, his arms behind his head. He had leaned back a long time ago in a comfortable position, on the edge of the flower bed. An edge not wide enough to really support all of his body, so his right side lay partly in the colorful night-dulled flowers. I stare at him for a while, really hoping he'd wake up. Why hadn't the idiot gone back to his room if he was tired?

Feeling annoyed I walk up to the boy and shake his shoulder in hopes of waking him. Nothing, but a small snore telling me that he's not going to wake up. I tell myself that I shouldn't care and that he can just sleep out here. After all it was his own fault, he should have left to go to bed. But I did try to shake him awake one last time. Still nothing, he must be a deep sleeper. I shrug, I had at least been kind enough to try and wake him. Usually I wouldn't at all care. Either way I head back inside. Once I reach the door, I look back at the flower bed. I grab the door knob, but can't seem to bring myself to open it. I let out a frustrated sigh, and head back to the blonde idiot. I really shouldn't care if he stays out here in the now growing heavier rain. But for some odd reason I did care, so I picked him up. He was heavy, and I can't say that this ride was smooth because I had to struggle to keep him up. Still he didn't wake up, not even partly, so I could at least ask which room number his was. I know the direction of his room, but not the number.

Reluctantly, I bring the kid into my room. Even using his head to open the hard wood door, he still doesn't wake up. Only his breathing hitches, making his snoring sound like a broken lawn mower. I literally throw him on my brother's bed, my arms feeling weak. I take off Naruto's shoes, and after that I get out a tank top and sweat pants to sleep in. After changing I crawl under my black silk covers, and shut my eyes. I feel so pathetic. Why is it that I couldn't just leave the boy outside? The rain was tapping on the window hard. The worst that would have happened is he would have woken up soaking wet and maybe with a cold. But how is that any concern of mine? Then I think back to the painting Naruto had saved. I suppose it's the least I could do. It doesn't mean that this act was an act of friendship, just a repayment. I just hope the blonde understands that, and that this act doesn't encourage his pursuit of friendship.

It's just his voice, the non-stop noise. That's all I've gotten used to, not his company. No, just the senseless talking. Just the familiarity of his speech, just the pondering about why he seems so interested in me. And the wonder of how long it'll be until he gives up, nothing more, nothing less. Neutral.

The sound of the boys snoring is soothing, once again an annoyance that only seems to soothe me. This snoring was even more rhythmic than his talking. Before my eyes shut, I wonder if anyone ever used to sing to me when I was a child. Maybe that's why I have this strange attachment to the sounds he makes, it reminds me of a time I can't recall, but I know was joyous.

A/N: I could go on with Naruto's POV, but I decided I should save something for next chapter.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8: Cracks

**Naruto's POV**

Only one stream of light in the entire room, and it thinks a good place to shine is on my face. My head hurt for some odd reason, I keep my eyes shut tight as I lay a hand on my head. I open my eyes, and looked around. I sat up a little surprised and scared when I see a very gloomy painting of someone's flesh falling off on the wall. I turn all around, looking at all the walls, the ceiling and the door. I was in a bed with blue violet covers. Sure as hell ain't my bed. Then I notice a bed under all the weird paintings that hung on the opposite wall, all black silk. With only one stream of light in the room, it was easy to overlook. I put my hand over my mouth, and look away.

Gaara was on the bed, back to me, the covers rested on his hips. Not at all covering his upper body. The feeling in my stomach is weird and in my opinion uncalled for! The red head stirs and I look up, even though that sick feeling was still in the pit of my stomach. He sits up in his bed, taking off his covers he goes up to the window and pulls back the curtains. A lot more beams of light enter the room, I notice he also has blinds which he pulls up next. I guess he likes his room really dark at night. Well some people can't sleep with any sort of light whatsoever. Once the sun shines into the room I'm blinded for a second, I cover my face with my arm, and then rub my eyes. When I open them, I see Gaara, and I felt like that sick feeling is now floating all around inside of me. What's wrong with me? Maybe Kiba has a good reason to be worried.

Gaara is wearing a black tank top that's very baggy, and looks like it's too big. But it doesn't cover all of his stomach, no matter how oversized it looks. His sweat pants look stretched out, and are very low on his hips. They are also black, and on the very end of the pant legs are splotches of red. I can only see Gaara's toes because the pants cover the rest of his feet. Why am I looking so hard?

Anyway, Gaara turns to me, "You should get back to your dorm. It's eleven, and everyone should be getting back from their spring break." I stare at the boy, he hadn't been asleep at all earlier. I guess he just didn't want to wake me and stayed in bed. Which explains the perfect timing of him 'waking up' after I did. I nod my head, showing that I heard him, but I just continue to sit on the bed. Gaara tilts his head back, I guess since he can't raise an eyebrow this is what he does.

"Something interesting about me?" He asks in a monotone voice.

"No. I just need a few minutes to get out of my sleep haze!" I shout back. It was such a lie, but really, why am I staring? I finally take my eyes off of the red head, and get out of the bed. I look around for my shoes, and right when I wanted to ask Gaara where they were he answers the unspoken question.

"In front of the bed, probably half way hidden under the covers." I look and then pick up my shoes. While I was putting them on I dared to ask Gaara,

"Why'd you bring me here?"

"I don't know your room number, and it was starting to rain more heavily," he says dully, going to the dresser against the wall and takes out some cloths. I get off of the bed, and head to the door wondering why there was no one else in the room. I know that Gaara's roommate is his brother. So why isn't he here? Was it his bed that I slept in? I wanted to ask, but thought it better to just leave. So I did.

Stepping out into the hallway I lean against the door I just closed behind me. My hand raises to rest on my chest. It's like the sick feeling in my stomach fluttered it's way up into my heart, which is now racing. What's wrong with me? I've never acted this strangely towards anyone, I just don't get it. It's really starting to worry me, because it seems to be happening more often. That and obviously my behavior is worrying my friends. I just don't understand this. How am I suppose to reassure Kiba, if I myself am starting to get a little freaked out. Maybe Gaara is some sort of witch, and put a spell on me…

"Yeah right," I laugh out loud, and start to pull away from the door I was leaning against. Only to run into someone.

"Sasuke, you back already?"

"Yeah, what are you doing in front of this door?" Sasuke put extra infuses on 'this'. It made me wonder if he knew this was Gaara's room. I know Sasuke seems not to like the kid, and doesn't want me around him. I wonder why?

"What do you have against Gaara?" I ask him straight out, walking causally down the hall, he follows.

"I know his type Naruto. It's best not to associate yourself with them."

"His type? What's that supposed to mean?"

"Naruto, some people you just want to stay away from. I can't keep you from chasing after him, but don't say I didn't warn you. Just give up. He's unstable. He's not like me, he won't become your friend. You may think he will, but he's probably just playing games. Cruel games, 'cause that's the 'type' he is," Sasuke explains in a bitter tone, as if he knew from experience.

I watch Sasuke enter our room. How could he judge Gaara like that? From what I've seen, Gaara's the quiet, likes to be left alone type, much like Sasuke. What makes him think Gaara would pretend to be my friend for his own amusement? Did he base all of this on the rumors that are spread about the red head?

I sit down on my bed, and take out a hand held game to distract myself from over thinking anything that's just come up. It worked for a little bit, then Kiba enters the room, and comes right to my bed of course. I notice Akamaru in his jacket. Even though it's warm out, Kiba still wears his jacket

"So what did you do all spring break? Shino said he hardly saw you," Kiba says casually enough, but I'm sure that this worried him.

"I was bothering Gaara," I mumble, turning off my game.

"Him again? I don't understand you Naruto," my friend shakes his head.

"I just want to get to know him. Haven't you ever wondered if any of the crap people say about him is true?"

"No, I never really cared. All I know is that the kid's weird, and it's a miracle he hasn't scared you away yet. Like everyone else that had talked to him," Kiba says petting Akamaru.

I guess that is quite an accomplishment isn't it? He even brought me back to his room so I wouldn't stay out in the rain. Thinking back on that, I feel that fluttering feeling again, but then I ignore it and grin. I'm slowly bringing him down, I swear my grin grew from ear to ear. Because I was so happy, point one for Naruto!

**Gaara's POV**

Spring break was over, and classes were back in session. Kankuro said nothing of his visit back home, and I really didn't care to ask. I'm sitting, waiting for the nymph to pop up and start his rambling. I think of the conversation we had had the day before, when I had taken him into my room. He had said I reminded him of himself, when he was lonely. I would have never thought the boy to have any sort of sadness in his body. Yet the tone he had that night was true sadness. It intrigued me. His whole character was odd and confusing to me. What kind of boy would try to make friends with one like me? What is it that he sees in me that makes him look at me as a potential friend? His motives and reasons are but an unclear blur.

As I think this I run the soft tip of my colored pencil across my sketchbook. A miniature detailed drawing, which I plan on putting on bigger paper. It's a self-portrait…I suppose it's all right. But even though I plan on redrawing this on a larger peace of paper, I have the urge to cover my face with thick lines of graphite. I don't even know what compelled me to draw this, but there's a hate. There was an innocence in my eye, that was long ripped out. It was like a taunting painting of my former self. All my thoughts, my memories emerging on the page. I hated this 'self'. The red color pencil runs across my neck, and I couldn't stand it, I rip out the page and throw it on the ground. I take out a pencil and start anew.

"What was that just now?" Came the annoyance I crave. The blonde picks up the paper I had just discarded. "Whoa, it's like you, but different…You have bigger eyes in this picture, and you seem kinda fat. Well not fat fat, like baby fat. Is that why you threw it on the floor? I figure artists are picky and want everything to be perfect in their art." He says cheerfully. I say nothing and ignore him. "Oh and you don't have that tattoo in here either. Is this like a mini you?" he asks sounding so happy, so unlike what he had sounded like the night before.

"I can't believe your parents let you have a tattoo, so cool. But I guess that's one of the reason why a lot of people talk about you. Bad-boy mark right on your forehead," he says folding the picture of me up and setting it on the bricks on the flowerbed which he plans to sit on.

My father hadn't let me have the tattoo, acutely it had made him angry. I didn't see the need to tell the boy this. It would only bring up more questions, and I don't want to answer any questions, because they'd all lead to past events I do not think anyone other than my family members should know about. The blonde let out a sigh, it was quiet, I didn't like it.

"Speak," I command. The blonde looks at me, with an uplifted eyebrow.

"What am I a dog?" he questions, I say nothing. In a way I felt like I had already said too much. I had asked the boy to speak, showing a fondness for his ranting. I don't think the boy picked up on it, too busy being concerned about being commanded like a dog.

"You can't just tell me to speak. That's just rude, why don't you speak?" He says teasing. I say nothing, just continue sketching. The boy lets out another sigh. "What is it about you? Am I getting under your skin? I think I am," he says proudly. "That's why you want me to speak, you've gotten used to hearing my voice, seeing me smile," the boy went of into a sort of taunting singsong tone. I ignore it, not being bothered by it at all. He only proved himself to be a little sharper then I previously thought. I didn't want to encourage the boy's strange fantasy of friendship. It's just with his persistence, I've gotten used to his voice, and it seems almost odd not hearing it. Especially if he's right next to me. I find more peace with the rhythm of his ranting, of the noises no matter how aggravating he makes.

Having not given the boy a response, he lets out a sigh. He then starts to talk, he's speaking of me, but I tone it out. The words and the meaning of his sentences lost to me, as I only listen to the beat his voice creates. Long noise followed by a pause, the pauses short, I felt as if in a waltz. My pencil started to dance the mentioned dance, and my self-portrait emerges quickly.

I still try to think how to correctly label my 'attachment' to the annoyance of voice. The boy is strange, not giving up in his weird pursuit of me. Still his reason behind this all seemed vague. What interest has he for me? Yes I know he has an interest in a friendship with me, but why? Out of all the boys he could have picked, he decides to bother me. Yet hasn't he already answered that question? The sad tone that had intrigued me. He had said I reminded him of himself when he was younger, when he was alone. He had called me lonely. I don't think at all that I would give off the appearance of being lonely. Though I do not mind the blonde being next to me, I still seek alone time. And have it when my brother is having his. Listening to his iPod, or when he's out to take a shower. I do not engage in conversation with him often or at all. I also do not engage in conversation with this boy, yet he still comes everyday. Gracing me with that rhythm. I don't plan on making conversation, rather just him holding one with himself. So that I may listen so that I can hear the rhythm. But talk back I doubt I've done but a few times, and in the past day I haven't said a word to the boy at all. Other then my recently uttered "speak".

He doesn't give up though. He still talks though he must know I'm hardly at all listening, and I'm not going to respond. Yet my asking him to speak must have given him some drive. Maybe that simple word was a mistake. Oh well, I doubt it, either way the boy was going to continue his effort in hopes of reaching his goal. Friendship is something I don't need, and I don't want. This boy seeks it from me, but all I have is the fondness…no it's just not the word. It's neither an attachment nor a fondness to his voice. But somehow it's above tolerant, it's just familiar. It's just become a familiarity that I accept.

The blonde is a strange little creature, his motives unclear, his goal the opposite. I have an unease, and only look to have his voice. Only look to have that rhythm. The flute of the nymph who plagues me, forcing itself into my being, taking out parts of me, preferably my brain, as I ponder about the creature.

A/N: Nothing much really, but next chapter will be good. It holds a turning point in the story, so don't miss it.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9: Cracked

**Naruto's POV**

Well everything is going back to the way it was. School's back and in full swing with rumors, worksheets and projects. All of it a giant waste of my time! I just can't wait for summer but it's so far away. I'll be going home for the summer of course, it's mandatory I think, either way I've never heard of someone staying behind for the summer.

People are glaring at me, as rumors about me and Gaara spread throughout the school. Maybe they sprang from jealousy from those that wished to talk to Gaara, or maybe people just like to talk. Either way, things like Gaara having turned me into a vampire or putting a spell on me circulate through the school. There are other rumors more directed at me, saying I've tamed the beast with my stupidity. That I'm too dumb to be scared away by him, or that magic doesn't work on idiots. Or that Gaara's planning on using me as a sacrifice or something. Either way a lot of people come up to me and comment on my IQ. Well, how stupid do they sound! Vampires, magic, c'mon who's the one that's a little stupid here!

You know, whatever. I don't care. Kiba hasn't brought up Gaara at all, though Sasuke was quick to point out the rumors and how I should stay away from the red head for my own good. Still I come out into the courtyard and sit next to the boy.

Today he had nothing in hand and looked rather frustrated as he looked up into the sky. Was the name-calling and rumors bothering him? He just didn't seem like the type to take that kind of stuff to heart. I was about to open my mouth to ask what was wrong, as if I would get an answer, but either way I was gonna try. But then two boys came up to us, Gaara still had his head up looking at the clouds, his face still sat in aggravation.

"Naruto, tonight's the full moon, better watch your back. You may get drained of all you're blood in the name of the devil, isn't that right Gaara?" They laugh, and I get angry, I glare at them but they continue.

"The little emo loves blondes. How's cutting your wrist going, hmm? You should really start cutting deeper, so you can finely kill yourself. No one wants you around anyway." They crossed the line. I get up off the edge of the flowerbed, and was about to punch them, telling them to "Shut the fuck up" when I feel Gaara's hand stop me. He gives me a glare and I back down. I sit back down and Gaara continues looking up, the same expression settling back on his face. Weird, but I keep staring at him just like the boys in front of us. Waiting for him to do something.

"I suppose in the religion of devil-worshipping violence is looked down upon if not inflicted on yourself or for a sacrifice," the boys laugh and walk up to Gaara.

"Or is it that you don't want Naruto to hurt himself before the ritual?" One of the boys picks up Gaara's wrist, Gaara lets him.

"Is your blood not good enough anymore? Understandable since you're a piece of shit anyway," I clench my fist, why won't Gaara do anything? I grind my teeth, these boys just don't know when to stop. Not at all caring that their words could be hurting someone, just like everyone else. Hardly thinking about what kind of affect their having! Then Gaara raises the hand that the boy mocking him about being emo and cutting himself isn't holding.

"We heard you use blood in you art, fr—" the boy stopped and screamed as Gaara's nails dug into the boys wrist holding his, drawing blood. The boy let go and the both of them stare in shock along with me, as Gaara licks his fingers, cleaning off the blood. Oh my fucking god, was all that ran through my head as I saw him do that. Then the red head spits out the blood at the boy's feet.

"Leave," is the only word that Gaara speaks and the boys practically ran away screaming like little school girls. I stare at the boy, but somehow that whole episode only made me more interested in him. Once again I think about the rumors and cracking the boy open to see which ones are true or not. Gaara's like no one else in this school, and he's just too interesting to let pass by! When green eyes turn to look at me, it's almost like my heart skips a beat, and automatically my hand pulls up to my chest. He stared at me so intensely, god I feel so weird. First my heart feels like it's spasing, and now that fluttery feeling is moving down into my stomach. I know I must be gawking at the boy, and he doesn't seem to be in a hurry to talk to me, or is it just me, and time has slowed down. What on earth is wrong with me?!

"I don't need you to fight my battles for me," he says almost with a hiss. All I could do was nod my head, probably looking a lot like the idiot airhead everyone says I am. I lower my head and let out a breath of air, as if something was just lifted from my chest and I could breathe correctly again. I easily put on a smile and turn to the boy.

"You know that kinda stuff is what spreads rumors," I say cheerfully.

"It's also how I usually get rid of annoyances," he says looking at me hard, before getting up and leaving. I look at his back as he heads back into the dorms, then it hits me.

"Yeah well it didn't work!" I yell back angry before he closes the door behind him. He had meant me when he said that, the bastard!

The next day in science Mr. Orochimaru explains about a project or lab we'll be doing.

"I've put you all into groups, so that this lab will work. You'll be using a dihybrid punnette square. To compare hair and eye color. So I've paired everyone with someone who has different traits. Remember for example if you had black hair and your partner had blonde, black would be dominate while blonde would be recessive. Then you will also do one punnette square of a trait that differs between you that you've picked. For example if me and Naruto were partners we could pick skin color because his is dark while I'm pale. Then at the end of this lab, you will pick from all your possible offspring which traits are more likely to show up and draw a picture of your 'child' using those traits. For example lets say there's a 75 percent chance your child will have black hair and blue eyes, then you would draw using those two traits because it's more likely to occur. If you by chance get a fifty fifty flip a coin. Now I don't expect for everyone to know their traits and know if they're carrying a recessive trait of not so just come up with something, but make it logical. So if you have black hair there's no way you'll be a carrier for blond all right?" With that long explanation I hardly understood, Mr. Orochimaru calls out the groups of two he's put all of us in. Kiba and me whisper to one another hoping that we would be paired together, after all, we do have very different traits so it could happen.

But instead Kiba got paired with Lee, I waited for my name to be called out, but it was like I was one of the last people to be paired. Finally I hear my name, "Naruto you and Gaara will be paired," he says handing me a worksheet with the punnette squares drawn on it and the directions just in case you want to read over them; of course questions about genes and traits and all that stuff on the back, along with a blank piece of paper for the drawing. I go to sit next to the red head in the back.

"Ok class, realize that genes are way more complicated than this, but it's just a lab for you to understand this a little better. Flip a coin to see if you'll have a boy or a girl. Heads for girl tails for boy. All right, you have two days to work on it," Mr. Orochimaru announces before everyone starts working on the project.

"So what exactly are we doing?" I ask the boy.

"Punnette Squares," he says simply.

"I know that but how?" He ignores me, and picks out our traits.

"These are you allele," he point out. All that it was to me was some letters reading, BBGg. "Let's assume you're a carrier of green eyes, so the punnette square won't be too simple." He says, saying that that's what the letter g stands for. Then I knew the b stood for blonde, our hair colors. His letters read, bbgg. So I was carrying most of the dominate genes. In the sixteen boxes given on the paper Gaara filled out the square. All our kids would have blonde hair, while there was a fifty fifty for the eye color. The bell rings, that having been all we were able to do. The teacher's explanation took up a lot of time.

**Gaara's POV **

The blonde is strange, and obviously not a good listener in the classroom. It was odd that I was paired up with him, somehow it was like the fates were taunting me. I had been thinking about the boy, rumors and whispers bringing him to mind. Then the incident yesterday, he had gotten angry, while I was being insulted. How was that any of his concern? I was the one they were making fun of, why had he gotten mad? He's strange and I can hardly understand his motives behind any of his actions. Though I must say I was disappointed I didn't get to hear that familiar rambling.

God I disgust myself with this strange need of the rhythm. Never have I really been dependent on another human, never have I really wanted anything from another, well at least I hadn't, in a very, very long time. But now this want for the familiarity…it's strange and it aggravates me a little. I've come to a stand still on my self portrait. I was only able to sketch my face, then all my artistic inspiration went down the drawn. Artists block, it's an irritating feeling. I take the sketchbook outside with me in hopes of something happening.

It was peaceful for a while before the nymph came. He sat down next to me, and started talking about the project we're working on together and other things I presume, I'm not sure I wasn't really listening. I do however pick out a question about yesterday. Of course I don't answer and the boy wasn't surprised. I pick up my pencil and my hand starts to move, as I try and work on the miniature of my self-portrait. I draw me holding a rose while my figures somewhat drip as if melting, my other arm completely melting on the other side. A large circle representing the sun and flames around me.

I must admit the boy's caught my interest. Strange how when he seems to be around my hand can move freely. His behavior is like nothing I've ever seen before. It's like he holds no secret when you first look at him, but then remembering the sad voice I had heard on that rainy spring night, he has some secrets. He can be joyful yet sad, and that part of him intrigues me. He's odd, and doesn't seem to give up. He even showed up today as if routine –which I suppose it is now—even after what he saw yesterday. I had done it mainly to see how the boy would react. That and it got rid of the immature provocations quick. I even insulted him, which i know he picked up on, but still he's setting next to me right now not giving up. What drives him? Testing him seeing how far he'll go, it's an intresting thought. Why am I thinking like this? And why has the nymph settled into my brain making me ponder about him?

Friendship is still off the table though. No matter how intriguing the boy may be or fond of his annoyance I've gotten, I have no need for friendship…Somehow this statement contradicted itself, and I stop my sketching, to think on the matter. I had no time as the blond rather loudly asks me a question.

"So will you hang out with me? I've asked you before, won't you say yes this time? I know you want too." He says in a sing song voice.

"What do you think we're doing now?" The words came out so fast, I hadn't even noticed I said them.

"Huh?" the boy looks at me blankly. I have to admit that maybe I had already unknowingly started to build a 'friendship' with this boy. It was an annoying fact, but one that proved itself true. After all, he would come down here to keep me company, and I would let him. I'd given up on getting rid of him, so what exactly do you call this? Friendship? Tolerating an annoying person? Or maybe something else, building upon something close to friendship. I had grown to like the constant rhythm of the loud useless talk the boy gave me. What can you call that? I had no word for it. I knew not how to explain my interest in the boy, or his ramblings. Other than maybe he had tricked me into bonding with him, into wanting to have him around. No one ever tried so hard to break me. No one had ever taken an interest. No one had ever done something for me, like save a painting. I think back to the boy's words on that rainy spring night. Was it that he did it out of pity? No the boy would not have been so relentless if he simply thought I was just lonely. I'm not lonely, yet I don't see how I can get rid of the boy. I'm not lonely, and I don't need anyone, yet there seems to be no harm in taking on someone who'll keep me company every once and a while. After all isn't that already what happened?

There's nothing else left for me to do, unknowingly I had already given into the boy's wish. I will keep him as company, but share with him my thoughts, I doubt. I'll keep him as my muse, but letting him see the other forces that drive my art, I will not. I'll give in for now, but I will not become too attached. It is but a luxury that is not needed.

"Hey are you gonna explain to me what you mean?" The blonde shouts.

"You ask me to hang out with you, what do you think we're doing right now?" I let myself glimpse at the boy's face for but a moment. A grin spread across his pixie lips. He then got up and happily told me he'll catch me later before running straight into the dorms. What a strange boy, somehow I regret this. I've encouraged him, given him every reason to think of me as a 'friend'. Though I will not title him as such, just a luxury. I still think maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut.

A/N: Nine chapters and finally Gaara gives in. Please review, thank you.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10: It's strange

Naruto's POV

I must have the biggest smile on my face right now. I enter my room, Sasuke slumped over his computer. He looks up when he hears me close the door behind me. I give him a smile, my eyes forming into little slits. God I'm just so happy, and I want to share it with everyone.

"What are you so happy about," Sasuke questions.

"It's…" I stop, thinking I'll only get scolded if I tell him about Gaara, "…nothing." He says nothing, and doesn't push for an answer. I plop down on my bed, joyfully. When I look out the window I see the little red head slowly walking back inside. Something springs up inside me, and it felt like my joy was overloading. God, did I feel this happy when I finally broke Sasuke? I did a dance and I was happy, but like this…? I don't think I was like this. Then again Sasuke hadn't been as direct as Gaara. The name echoed in my head, and I just felt great. I wanted to spend time with the red head, but what would he want to do?

He still hasn't ever really been off campus to do anything fun. I'll maybe ask him to do something with me next weekend. This weekend I had already promised Kiba we'd hang out. He doesn't seem too concerned as Sasuke about the whole Gaara thing, maybe I could tell him about my success.

In science, Gaara was drawing a picture of the offspring we would have. For the second trait that differed between us I had picked our eyebrow colors, and I was the one who did that punnette square. Yeah, Gaara did most of the work, but he didn't' seem to mind. We also flipped a coin to find out the gender. A girl blonde hair, green eyes, and visible eyebrows. I was looking over the red heads shoulder the whole time he was drawing, I also every once in a while repeated that I wanted to color it. The picture looked so life like, and he handed it to me when he was done. I take out a color pencil and start with her hair. She wore a frown though and I stop and look up at Gaara, who wasn't focusing on anything in particular.

"Why do you always draw sad things?" I ask. He doesn't answer. "You could have given our daughter a smile at least," I tease. Then Kiba came up to me.

"Well Naruto check it out, handsome devil isn't he?" he says showing me the picture of his and Lee's 'son'. Black eyes and black hair. They had drawn the eyes slightly larger then Kiba's but not as big and round as Lee's. The hair was spiky like Kiba's too.

"Thankfully he takes after me more than Lee," he chimes. The picture wasn't bad, Lee had drawn it, though it looked more like a cartoon. Unlike what Gaara draws like, more life-like. "Let me see your picture," Kiba says snatching it from me. "Whoa if she were real, I'd do her," my friend says.

"Kiba I told you to turn in our paper, not show it around," Lee says from across the room.

"Yeah, yeah," Kiba mumbles picking up the drawing that had the worksheet stapled to the back.

"She is pretty, even if she is pouting," I say more to myself as I finish coloring in the picture. Then I turn in our paper just as the bell rings.

I go to the shower room, not many people were there seeing as how early it was. Most of the boys usually take showers in the evening. It was a nice relaxing hot shower, but I wanted to get it done as soon as possible. After all I do have Gaara to meet like usual, I don't want to keep him waiting. A grin spread across my face, there was just this great feeling of accomplishment when I think about what had happened yesterday. I still wonder about all the whispers about him. I think most of the stuff they say about the red head isn't true. I mean, after all they're starting to say untrue stuff about me. Saying I've join his cult and shit. Why can't people just mind their own business?

I wonder why he didn't' push me away. I mean I hear stories about him pushing others away, ignoring them and stuff. On top of that I experienced first hand what kind of things he does to get rid of bullies and other people. Maybe he didn't treat me any different, maybe he treated me just like anyone else who tries to get to know him. Maybe I just didn't notice, or didn't want to notice, and not give up. The boy's just too interesting and I feel so excited about being able to hang out with him. Next weekend I'll try and get him off campus and have a good time. I don't care what he says, he's coming off campus with me. I mean he can't just stay at school all weekend, not since he's admitted we're friends now. Ok, so he hasn't called me his friend, but I won. I broke him and he's just like Sasuke now. A friend even if he won't say it.

But, he's so different from Sasuke...so different..but somehow the same. I mean his coldness and indifference, though it's a little stronger then Sasuke's, it's basically the same. I don't know if Gaara tried his hardest to get me to lose interest…but I like to think that he didn't. I know it sounds really stupid, but I like to think that maybe from the start Gaara let me be around him, let me talk to him. I go off into an almost daydream like state, before I shake my head.

"God, did I ever act like this around Sasuke?" I ask myself as I reach to turn off the shower. "Somehow it's like you're different…" I say to myself when the daydream fog I was in comes over me again. I slap myself in the face. "What the fuck is up with you Naruto," I yell at myself, and dry off. I grab my close and pull them one, running my hand through my hair once I exit the shower stall. Throwing the wet towel in a laundry basket nearby I go up to the mirror. I rub my hands through my hair, trying to get all the moisture out. Of course that simple act didn't dry my hair, but it did give it a little bit of it's bounce back, rather than it just being flat. With one more look over myself I head out to see if Gaara was in the courtyard, I'm sure he is.

On my way out a group of boys in black stop me. Eyes were outlined with black makeup and one even had lip liner on. Gothic kids, the other freaks of our school, although below Gaara on the weirdo scale that the other students have come up with. Me, I'm climbing higher near Gaara, seeing as I've been seen hanging out with the red head and everything.

"You must think you're so important," the one with lip liner says. All four of the boys' hair was died outrageous colors of green, red, and purple, along with black streaks.

"You think just cause Gaara lets you hang out with him you're special," the one with green and black hair says with a snotty kinda tone.

"Well your not, watch your back Naruto. People like him don't hang out with people like you. But we'll be laughing once you get crushed by him," the one with lip liner explains.

"He's a magnificent being and shouldn't hang out with the likes of you." Another says.

"His art is a blessing and we've heard about your attempt to destroy it. Just back off and stay away! He's only using you, for what that's unknown to us, but be assured prep, he doesn't keep you around because he likes your company!" With that I'm shoved into the wall as they rudely make their way past me. Why is everyone so concerned about me hanging out with Gaara? Why is everyone making it their business? On top of that what gave them the idea I've tried to mess up one of Gaara's pictures? I feel kinda odd, as I stood there for a while letting their words sink it. They sounded familiar. Kinda like what Sasuke said, but they were putting me down while Sasuke wasn't trying to make me feel bad. I wonder why everyone thinks I can't be friends with the red head? It's making me feel a little sick.

I slowly walk out to the courtyard, ignoring the weird feeling I have that somehow made me a little depressed. It's best to overlook and ignore thinks like that. Telling myself this, I get ready to put on my famous smile as I see Gaara sitting in the courtyard just like always.

Gaara's POV

I sit outside like usual watching people go by. Watching the looks that they give me and not at all caring about them. They haven't changed at all, but they seem to be in more abundance. People in this school have always given me dirty looks, sometimes accompanied by a whisper to their friends as they pass by. I've always brought strange reactions out of people and I didn't mind, I ignored it, but now there's always whispering and more people have become brave. They approach me, speak to me, insult me. I should have chased the blonde nymph away, he's made me appear weak. Yet I don't plan on giving up that nonsensical noise that graces my ears every time he appears to keep me company.

Though he's made me appear weak, I'll keep him around for study. He's odd and by keeping him around I can figure out why he was so determined to become my 'friend', and I can maybe prevent something like this from happening again. There's also the fact that the boy can bring out the best in my art. I wonder why. I doubt you get to pick your muses, just like you don't get to pick your fate, yet I wonder what it is about the boy that inspires my hand to move so gracefully. Or what made me keep the boy around. That sound, so many times before I've blamed that familiarity. A nymph I call him, a deserving name, possibly a creature of the sea. One that is perched upon a rock and with it's song blinds sailors that do not notice the rocks they are about to crash into.

Have I crashed? I must say I probably have, seeing as I keep the boy around. But drowned I have not. The boy is a luxury and nothing more. I don't plan on making 'friends'. I'm not as concerned about such things as others are. I somewhat regret having opened my mouth and saying words that only encouraged him towards his goal. He probably even thinks he's reached that goal. Yet at the same time I don't mind at all, not having much of an opinion. I admit I'm a little afraid. The boy is hard to read, and I expect him to do something strange. Dragging me out past the gate of the school to 'hang out' with him, or something of that nature. Regret creeps in again, I really should have thought some things over before I said anything the other day.

Yet again what could I have asked myself? After all, the things that intrigue me about him are unexplainable to me. Why I've fallen for his annoying song, now a familiar lullaby, or why if and when he says something of intelligence my mind and hands are inspired to put pen to paper. I don't understand it, how can something be bothersome and enjoyable all at the same time? I have no word for it, I don't know how to explain it clearly so that anyone else could understand, so I settled on the thought that maybe the boy's tricked me. Tricked me into this 'friendship'. Then I ask myself is this really a friendship, or just a tolerance? I have no idea, but settled on the simple explanation, and a relationship I never experienced, friendship. So is this what it's like?

I've never had much of a relationship of any kind. A brotherly bond, a father-son relationship…a mother-son relationship, I don't have these bonds and fond memories. I don't trust others. I still somewhat don't trust this little blonde elf that prances around with a smile on his face. He must want something from this, I must have something to offer, he wouldn't just randomly decide to try and get to know me. There must be some sort of motive, and that's all the reason I need to be careful, all the reason why he's a luxury I'm ready to throw away. He may have tricked me a little but I'm far from being blinded from the rocks before my eyes.

A squeak echoes through the almost empty courtyard, and the few boys that were still heading to a destination glance toward the door that's being opened. Only to rest their eyes on me and whispering some things. I could hear them but I didn't listen. I do however look in the direction only to see Naruto. He had his head down, and his expression held that sadness I saw once before during spring break. It was there again, the sadness he let no one see. Why? I don't understand him, yet this only makes me think more that there must be some motive behind him wanting to be my friend. There's something I don't know or understand about the boy. He lifts his head up, a glimpse of determination, and the sadness disappears into joy. I wonder how is it that he can keep his sadness so easily from others? It intrigues me, what is it that made him sad?

"Hey," he greets me and sits down. I look at the floor. I would never dare ask him about anything private, and that sound comes to grace my ears. Like always I don't listen to any particular word, only the rhythm. I let him speak until it becames dark and then I went off into my dorm.

I should work on my self-portrait. I had transferred the rough draft onto a larger sheet of paper only partially. I didn't feel like working on it, not right now, and not this weekend. I wanted to take a break from art, maybe read a book. Something I don't do often seeing as I usually pass my time sitting out there in the courtyard or drawing. It's my reading habits that started some of the rumors about me in this school. I've read many different bibles. I've read the New and the Old Testament, I've read the Kaaren, and yes I've even read the more devil-oriented version of the Bible. I like to read about religions and get a view on all of them, and know about all of them, along with the culture they bring. Amazingly enough I've never set foot into a church. I know where the most beautiful church is located in my hometown, but I've never stepped inside. Though I remember standing in front of it many times. One of those times a holy Father had asked me to come inside. I declined, and ever since then never went back to the church.

I rummage through some drawers that hold my many religious books. I uncover one that I hadn't read in a long time. I wouldn't really call it a religious book, but more a book of the history of a people. Another book that I was caught reading one time entitled "The History of Witches." I sit on my black silk covered bed, and open the book. I've read the book about two times, the Bible I've read three times, the Kaaren twice as well, and the notes about devil worshipping I've read four times. This spreading from the time I was twelve, and never had I read any other books in my life. I don't like to read stories like the popular Harry Potter stories, or Vampire Chronicles of Ann Rice, no matter how many times I'm accused of reading and doing vampiric things. Of course I did once read a small collection of stories from the ancient Greek gods that I had spotted in the library.

My brother came into the room and not soon after I was forced to stop reading as the lights turn off.

Naruto's POV

I'm with Kiba at the arcade near our school. We're playing Tekken, when I bring up Gaara. "You know, I wanted to hang out with Gaara next weekend, but I have no clue where he'd like to go."

Kiba loses and then looks at me with an amazed expression. "Dude, like he'd let you take him anywhere man, just give up dude. The weirdo's not worth it."

"Wrong, he doesn't mind me sitting with him out in the courtyard, he even told me so," I say triumphantly.

"Man…I have to agree with Sasuke, Naruto. I mean I haven't been saying anything, 'cause it's not my business, and I was hoping you'd get tired of sitting around outside with the kid. But honestly Naruto, are you deaf? Rumors don't just pop out of nowhere, they had to start somewhere, and I think some of them are probably not that far off. The kid's strange, why hang out with him?"

"Why are you gonna go there, why are you gonna be like Sasuke? You never had a problem when I was trying to become friends with Sasuke!"

"Yeah but you weren't so…obsessed. On top of that Sasuke was just a bastard, not a weird blood sucker."

"You honestly believe that shit? And how am I obsessed?"

"You never gave Sasuke that much attention, you'd even back off a little when Sasuke wasn't giving you anything in return. I remember you used to come into mine and Shino's dorm and fucking scream in a pillow because the prick pissed you off. Spending the night to try and get away from him. But you just keep going back to Gaara," Kiba explains.

"Well Gaara isn't like Sasuke, he doesn't do or say stuff to piss me off!"

"He doesn't do or say anything. I mean I'm not trying to get all up in your business man. If you think the guy's cool then go ahead and hang with him. Just be a little bit more careful. I don't trust him. Like I said, I do believe some of those rumors, I don't think someone just pulled them out of their ass."

I shake my head, what does everyone have against Gaara? There was a long moment of silence between Kiba and me before we started talking again. I wasn't mad at him, well not completely. A little annoyed but I know he doesn't mean it in a bad way.

"Well, if you're gonna hang out with the kid, I'd say do it somewhere in public. Like the mall. Or maybe take him to the pool, they're opening it tomorrow. Which reminds me, you busy tomorrow? Shino and me are gonna hit the pool. But in the morning, Shino's shy like that. He's hoping not a lot of people will be there in the morning. See if Sasuke wants to come too," I smile and tell him I'll be there and I'll make sure to tell Sasuke about it. He's talking about our school pool. It's usually reserved for the swim team only, but after spring break all the way till summer it's open to the students on the weekend. We both have an indoor and outdoor pool in Konoha Greens.

It's evening and the sun is setting. I was out late with Kiba, but now I head straight to the flower bed that I know Gaara is resting on. This time the boy has a book in hand. I think I've only seen him with a book out here once and that was an anatomy book.

"So how was your Saturday?" I ask the boy. He only continues to read his book, I smile. I look at the book the boy's holding, and my eyebrows frowned. It's a book of witchcraft, or history, that being the word in the title. But I keep a smile on my face, it was a sort of sad smile. Should I be careful around the boy? Kiba's right, rumors have to start somewhere, and seeing this book…I'm a little uneasy. But isn't this one of the reasons why I wanted to get to know the boy, to find out if all those rumors are true? I look at the boy's face, he seems so at peace, but still his eyes…I can't stand them. They're so lonely, does he even know how lonely he looks? He reminds me so much of myself…maybe Kiba's right, maybe I am obsessed. Is it really that bad? I don't know, my head's starting to hurt and I'm confusing myself. Just something about him made me want to talk to him, the challenge just like with Sasuke. But maybe also the fact that he always looks too lonely and that no one seemed to care. Making fun of him, spreading rumors.

But why does everyone want me to stay away? Can Gaara really be that bad of a guy? So he's a little on the odd side, but he seems nice. His eyes shift and I can't help but stare, my heart speeds up. Am…am I afraid of him? Is that why I'm sweating? God I have no fucking idea, but looking at him is making me sweat. Maybe I should listen to my friends, they only mean good, but at the same time how can I just leave? I'm not one to give up. I'm not giving up on Gaara when I came this far!

"Can you sing?" The red head asks me, and I'm surprised. He hardly ever starts a conversation. But maybe he's just tired of the quiet, seeing how I'm not being my usual self and blabbing my head off.

I laugh a little, "What makes you think I can sing?" He only gives me a shrug of his shoulders and goes back to reading his book. I can't help but feel happy, he really just wants me to talk. I like how I can do that without having to fear feeling stupid or someone telling me to shut up. I like that he wants to hear me talk, a lot of people don't. They just think I'll have something stupid to say. I start telling Gaara 'bout what I did with Kiba today and my plans for tomorrow. He may not talk back like Kiba said, and he may be strange, but I know he wants me around or he wouldn't ask me to talk or want me to talk.

A/N: This chapter was a little bit longer then usual. See what Naruto has planned for Gaara next chapter.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11:Red water

**Gaara's POV**

It was Thursday, and as usual Naruto was next to me weaving his web of words. I was thinking about my portrait which I still haven't completed. Maybe I know that finishing the painting would be torture for me. I usually hate drawing images of myself. Not because I dislike the way I look, but because I dislike the way I portray myself. Memories always flash before my eyes, and I think of _him_, and all the other annoyances of my childhood. And I lose myself in that feeling, those memories. But I want to finish that portrait, for some reason I want to draw myself, and only me, no one else.

I was pulled from my thoughts by a noise, familiar yet in a different tone, almost …no it is a tune. I look at the blonde boy next to me. It's unmistakable, Naruto was singing, a lullaby entitled "Beautiful Dreamer". His eyes shift mysteriously in my direction as he stops his song and gives me that grin of his.

"That got your attention didn't it?" He says teasingly, chuckling a little under his words. "So I'll ask the question again, will you draw me a picture?" He asks of me. I look at him strangely. I had never given anyone a picture, I liked to keep them myself.

"Why would you want that?" I ask simply.

"Why do people like to look at strippers? 'Cause they think they're pretty!" The boy says it like that simple statement made his request clear. It wasn't though, I still don't understand. Another part of him that puzzles me. He does and says so many things that just don't seem normal. Or am I the one out of the norm?

"I like the way you draw…" he says looking off into the sky, and there it was, that sadness that he hides. It slipped, and his eyes show that usually unseen emotion. It only made the whole situation even more of an enigma.

"I sang for you. Remember you asked if I could sing? I don't think I can, but you tell me. I mean after all, you must think my voice to be rather lovely," He said this part with a fake English accent, "Or else you wouldn't let me rant on non-stop. You know I'm running out of material! Talking back every once in a while would help!" The energy and fake happiness was back. Doesn't it bother him at all to be like that? What makes him think he has to be like that?

"Why do you then?" I state simply in a monotone voice.

"Do what?"

"Talk on, why not just leave? What keeps you here?"

"You're my friend," he says it with such a sureness. I look at his face, that smile…is this really what a friendship is like? I doubt it, and we are far from friends.

"What makes you think that?" I say darkly. His expression drops for but a split moment.

"You don't like letting people in do you? I could care less if you think of me as your friend, the thing is, you're mine. I could care less if you never once talk back to me. I'll still come here, sit next to you, and blab on. You know why?" I say nothing and just stare at the boy. "Because I know you like it…need it. 'Cause every once in a while you just gotta ignore it…" the boy leans back on the edge of the flower bed.

"What would I ignore," I felt stupid for asking the question. Somehow he was singing his loralies, and I couldn't help but sink just a little.

"Ignore your loneliness."

"Just because someone is by themselves doesn't mean they're lonely."

"Ignore your sadness," the boy goes on to say, turning a blind eye to my statement. There was a long moment of silence. Why should he care if I'm alone and sad? I don't think pain should be ignored. I don't think it's healthy to do as he is doing, putting on a happy face when deep down inside something still haunts you.

"Sometimes it's best to accept your sadness. It's part of the healing process," I say.

"Draw me a picture please? With all orange, a pretty picture with someone who's smiling," he says in a sort of dreamy voice. I've never drawn a picture for anyone but myself. I've never given a picture to anyone who asked. My art… somehow it's the way I feel alive, and it's like giving away a part of me. A part of me that can't be understood by those who just see skill and beauty in my work… never the pain or hatred.

"Oh, almost forgot to tell you. You're coming to the mall with me tomorrow!" Naruto says sitting up and giving me a smile.

"No," I say simply. After all, how can he just assume I have nothing better to do?

"Come on, why not? Why can't we hang at some other place than the courtyard?"

"No."

"What do you have against the mall? Don't you want to leave the school sometimes? Go out to an ice-cream café or whatever. Don't you ever get sick of the food the school serves? Or get tired of doing the same thing every day?"

"No." So plain and simple. The boy lets out a sigh, and is silent for a little while.

"How about we go to the pool then?" He says, "That's still on campus."

I try to hide my discomfort, but I give it away with my stillness.

"What?" He asks.

"I …don't know how to swim," I say. Maybe it'll get me out of having to do anything with him.

Naruto looks at me unbelieving and then his eyes flashed with joy. "Then I'll teach you. Six thirty, meet me at the pool. Ok?"

There was no time to even say 'No' as the blonde left. I go sit in the courtyard for a little bit longer, I really didn't want to do this. I then slowly get up and head to my room. As I enter my room I glance over the many bottles of beach sand, and sit upon my bed. I hold one of the bottles of sand in my hand. I had tried once to learn to swim, to only nearly drown and have _him_ save me from the rip current. Now though, I wonder if he would have let me drown. It felt like eternity that I was under water, and I opened my eyes to see him above me, giving me a weak smile. I doubt that it would have phased him at all if I had died then and there.

I trace my fingers over my tattoo, and then set down the bottle of sand on the nightstand where it had rested earlier. I lie back on my bed and think.

The nymph…what a strange boy he is indeed. I don't know what's wrong with the boy, or what he wants from me but I doubt I'll go meet him tomorrow morning. I don't mind him coming out into the courtyard and keeping me company, even bringing with him that noise of his, but doing anything else with him… I don't think I would. It just seems like he's trying to pull something, and I could get too attached. After all, he's just a luxury, and even if I let him think this is a friendship, and even if I have no other word to explain this tolerance with, I am not going to become his friend. I just can't…

On top of that I also don't really want to learn how to swim. Why did he even offer to teach me? Doesn't he have anything better to do? I know he has other friends, why not hang out with them? Why me? Once again he's picking at my brain, once again I can't figure him out. He's just an odd creature. The door opens and Kankuro comes into the room. He seems a little upset and he turns to me.

"You know it's all your fault I'm in this damn school. I met this hot babe, and I doubt I'll ever get to see her again. All 'cause I'm stuck in this damn all-boys school," he mumbles, just speaking to be heard, nothing else. I tune him out. My brother and I aren't very close, but I don't hate him. I don't know if he hates me. I could care less. He was all ready for bed and he turned off the lights and went under his covers. I pull the covers over me, but I'm not tired at all.

I start to think about Naruto once again, twisting and torturing my brain as I try to understand him. It's another one of those nights, I tell myself as I watch the digital clock. It's one of those nights where sleep doesn't visit me, where I'm forced to think about things and look around bored waiting for dawn to come. Slowly but surly the sun peeked over the horizon. I'm pulled out of my thoughts—which sadly only revolved around the little blonde muse—, and I look at the little beams of light that manage to come into the room. The room is still very dark, I make sure of that with the thick curtains and blinds. But still at least one stream of light always manages to enter the room in the morning. It was soft and orange. The color my muse likes to wear, he has truly settled into my mind. I let out a sigh, disappointed or annoyed at myself, I couldn't really tell. I do not get up off of my bed. My brother is still asleep so I can't open the curtains and let the light in so that I may read or sketch. The night was agonizingly long with nothing to do. Now I must wait for my brother to wake till I can do anything to occupy myself.

I sit quietly and then look at the clock. It read six twenty. Kankuro usually gets up around nine. I have a long time to wait. I lean against the headboard, and then once more try to get lost in my thoughts, trying to think of something of interest. But the little nymph came to me again, and once more I look at the clock, only a minute has past. I can't stand this slow ticking of time.

I get out of my bed and go to my dresser. I take out some cloths and head to the bathroom to get dressed and ready to meet Naruto at the pool. I have nothing better to do, and I suppose it's better than waiting with nothing to do until Kankuro finally stirs or heading out into the courtyard like I always do. There would be no noise this early in the morning, and I've gotten used to noises when I'm in the courtyard. That's the only reason I'm going, that it's a better alternative, that's all there is to it. I have no swimming trunks though, so that may even stop the boy's plans, and I can just go sit in the courtyard and have him babble.

When I enter the pool area, I see the blonde spikes right away. He's leaning against the glass wall of the enclosed pool, waiting. When I open the door his eyes light up as he turns to me. A smile is quickly spreading over his face.

"You ready?" he asks excitedly. I show no enthusiasm, and I ask myself why exactly is it that I'm here.

"Here, lets go change," he explains handing me a pair of swim shorts. "I didn't think you'd own a pair, seeing as you can't swim and all," he explains and heads to the locker room. The locker room was amazingly unlocked, and there were two others in the room. They passed us and Naruto greeted one, his name was Neji if I heard correctly. It was a polite exchange of good mornings, but the boy did give me a look that I'm used to. There was also another boy with a green cap on. I think he's in our science class, seeing as he looks familiar and Naruto also greets him. Lee was his name, and he looked like he was part of the swim team with a bathing cap and matching green goggles, and only the swim team would dare to wear a Speedo. The other boy Neji was just in normal shorts, and most likely just here to swim with his friend.

I wonder when they open the pool, seeing as it's so early in the morning. Maybe the doors are unlocked at six. The locker room had no privacy, the showers were open, and lockers were everywhere, along with benches. So anyone changing in here or taking a shower in here would be exposing themselves to everyone else around. I try to find some private area to change but the best I could do is go into the open shower section of the room, and hide behind the tile wall, underneath a shower head. If Naruto didn't walk in he wouldn't see anything.

The shorts the boy had given me were white with dark blue and gray trimmings that curved in a U shape, so that your thigh had a U of blue and gray on the bottom of the shorts, and the rest of the color turned up in the front to cover your crotch. Above the U of the trim on the thigh was an orange surfboard shape, surrounded by the basic white of the short. I strip myself of my clothes and pull on the swimming trunks. They were a little big at first, but I made them tighter by tying the strings that hung out of them tighter. Then I gather my clothes and step out from the open shower. Naruto had on orange shorts with black seams and trimmings. He was putting his clothes on top of the lockers, seeing how he couldn't open any of them. I did the same, giving my clothes at least a little protection from being taken.

"Ok you ready to learn how to swim?" Naruto asks cheerfully. I say nothing, not really being sure if I wanted to learn. I hear the sound of bare feet move across the tiles, and soon after I hear the nymph call for me to follow. Yes, the little nymph of the sea that sings to blind sailors.

When we get to the pool the two boys who had passed us earlier were there. The one with long hair was holding a stopwatch, sitting on the edge of the pool, feet dangling in the deep end. The other boy was swimming very quickly across the pool, obviously doing times. Naruto enters the side of the pool where we wouldn't be disturbed by the boy's practice. After all, the pool was big enough to avoid one another. I was hesitant in entering the water. The blonde wasn't fearful at all, the water was all the way up to his waist, and this was supposed to be the shallow end. I look at the water, I felt a little comfort in the clearness and my ability to see the other's feet touching the ground.

"Come on, the first step is getting in," he says happily. I really didn't want to do this, especially with others around to watch. I didn't want to enter the water at all, and felt so weak for fearing it. But nearly drowning can bring that kind of fear. I just don't like showing emotion of any kind whatsoever to others. And fear was an emotions, one that I wanted to keep to myself the most, one that I thought was no ones business but my own. Displaying fear only brings out fake sympathy in others, or you get made fun of. I ask myself again why I came down here. I should have just went and sat in the courtyard, no matter how maddeningly quiet it would have been. Why had I decided to come here just because the blonde had asked me to… had offered to teach me something even after what he witnessed. Like that time, where I licked blood off my fingers after making another boy bleed, even though he saw that, it's like he shrugged it off. Just like when in that same situation he had wanted to stand up for me. What is it with this boy? What does he get out of starting this 'friendship' with me?

The sound of Naruto walking through the water and then a cold wet touch upon my fingers is what drew me out of my trance of staring at the water and pondering the ever puzzling odd behavior he displays. I look at equally blue eyes. "Are you scared?" He asks. I couldn't help the scowl that ran over my face. I really should just leave, what was the point of this? Why do I need to know how to swim? Why should I spend time with this boy just because he wants to. Naruto comes out of the water fully and wraps his hand around mine. I pull away.

"Come on, we'll go in together. You can hold on to me, don't be scared." He was treating me like a child, and though it made me angry it also gave me some comfort. It's been a long time since I've been lead by the hand into a new experience. I don't know why he wants to waste time teaching me how to swim, I don't at all understand very much about him and his motives. But when he reaches for my hand once more I let him lead me into the water. I feel so pathetic, really, I don't like showing fear. I also don't like to be comforted like some little child, yet I let him. Somehow I seem to let him do things that annoy me, anyone else I would be able to chase away. Just like I let him keep me company in the courtyard though it bothered me. I had not let anyone else do so, what is it about the nymph that he cannot be discouraged?

**Naruto's POV**

I don't know why simply reaching for Gaara's hand made me feel like I was sweating. Maybe I'm just imagining it, I mean I am in the water, so maybe I just think I'm sweating because I'm wet. Either way I'm glad the boy showed up so I could hang out with him. I slowly lead him into the water, he looked around himself, like he was afraid something would pull him underwater. The sound of Lee swimming back and forth had stopped, but I don't take my eyes off the red head slowly entering the water with me.

"Are you afraid of putting your head under water?" I ask. He only gives me a glare. I don't know if that was a yes or a no, but I go on to tell him why I ask that. "You see, I learned how to dive before I learned how to swim. It's easier because you don't have to worry about keeping your head above water, and you can just practice the movements."

"I'd rather keep my head above water," He mumbles.

"Ok then. Lets just try keeping yourself afloat," I say, not really knowing where else to start. Diving would have just been an easier place for me to start. I show Gaara how to keep his head above water, while slowly swimming circles around him. The sound of water splashing caught my attention, though it was only Neji and Lee on the deep end. From the looks of it Neji had just dived in. I continue to instruct Gaara. He was trying to keep himself afloat with only his arms now. It wasn't swimming, but you have to start somewhere. On top of that he wasn't doing a very good job at keeping himself afloat, and when I told him to move his feet just a little he refused to do so. The moment water touched his lips he would stand up. All in all he wasn't doing too good of a job.

"Ok, here, this will be easier and you won't have to feel afraid." The boy didn't look too happy, and I could tell he just wanted to leave. But I'm not going to let him, and maybe he knew that and so didn't try to leave the pool. I touch his stomach, and he pulls away glaring at me.

"Dude I'm not going to molest you. Just rest on my hands, I'll help keep you afloat until you're good enough on your own." He lets me help, and I tilted him slowly so that his stomach is flat on both my hands. Though he didn't like being tilted so far, and he started to splash and moves to try and keep me from resting him in the water.

"Calm down man. I'll make sure you won't sink, just concentrate on moving your arms and feet," I drag out the word feet, seeing as he didn't like to move them too much, failing in floating that way. When the boy relaxed a little bit and his movements were smoother, I slowly and, going unnoticed my Gaara, remove my hands from under him. The boy only realized my hands were gone once he had moved a couple of inches ahead of me and was now rapidly starting to sink. But he sat his feet on the ground and looked back at me, a little uneasy, and completely aggravated. I give him a grin, this doesn't help his pissy mood.

"See how well you did on your own?" I point out cheerfully. The red head's face went emotionless, and he just turns to leave the pool. I couldn't tell if he was upset at me, or if he just was afraid to stay in the water any longer. Either way I follow him trying to make him feel a little proud of himself. After all, for his first time and the fear he displayed of the water, I think he did pretty good. I tell him my thoughts, and offer him more lessons, if he was listening I had no clue.

After changing back into our normal cloths, Gaara hands me back the swim shorts I let him borrow. I look at the clock on the wall of the locker room and it read exactly eight o'clock. As me and the read head left, a lot of boys were coming in, wanting to take a morning dip too.

It was no surprise when Gaara stopped and sat down on the flowerbed edge in the courtyard. I throw the still wet swimming trunks on the side of the flowerbed, and sit between them and Gaara. I look at the boy, who only blankly stared at the floor. I won't make him ask this time. I let a smile cross my face as I start to talk about everything and nothing at all. For some odd reason even if it was just the beginning of the day, I felt like it couldn't get any better. Obsessed, huh? I don't know, but I like being around quiet, mysterious and weird Gaara. Blood sucker? I have no idea. I look up at the sky and begin in the middle of talking let out the things that were on my mind.

"You can try to ignore me, act pissy and hateful towards me, try and tell me we're not friends, but you know what?" I ask glancing over and happy to see, though his head was still down, that his eyes had shifted to look at me, "Doing that shit's only going to make me want to keep coming back."

A/N: Next chapter will hold creepyness, and growth. What kind of growth? You'll find out now won't you?


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12: The sadness behind those eyes

**Naruto's POV**

Gaara isn't here. I'm sitting out here in the courtyard like I always do, but the red head's nowhere to be found. I want him around, I wanted him to talk more. It's a new challenge, he's accepted me and I know he wants me to talk so he can listen, but I want to make him speak too, to be a little more open. Sometimes I don't know why, but I'll stop in the middle of my talking to see if he'll notice. Just to hear him ask me to go on. I know it's weird but it makes me feel…wanted. And it assures me that no matter the rumors and what he himself says, Gaara wants me around and that I am the first and only that he's ever let spend time with him. He's my friend even if he won't say it. He's way more fun than Sasuke was. I feel such accomplishment, yet I know it's not over. I want something more, something I can't really place my finger on.

I wait a little while to see if maybe Gaara'll show up. Some boys pass me by, some of them smile and whisper while giving me a short glance, others just don't notice me at all. I look for red hair, but none ever came. I let out an irritated sigh. I mean really, it's not like him to leave me hanging, honestly how dare he leave me waiting! He better have a damn good excuse, after all I wanted to bother him about another swimming lesson. I mean it's been so long since the last lesson and summer vacation's coming fast! I don't care what he says, I want him to be able to swim by the end of the school year. I go inside and head to his room.

I knock…no answer. What's up with that? Is something wrong? I knock again just a little louder. If he's not in his room I don't know where he would be. I decide to knock one last time, and that's when the door opens. I meet cold emotionless green eyes. They're empty, lonely, and familiar and every time I look at them, this weird feeling fills my stomach. How many times before has this happened? Why does it happen every time I see his eyes? It's really odd, I look away to try and stop the feeling from taking me over.

"What is it?" came his cold voice.

"Where were you? You say you'll hang out with me and then you're not at your usual spot. If I didn't know any better I'd say you're ditching me," I tease.

"I'm working on something," he says plain and simple, inching the door closed. I push the door open, and cheerfully ask.

"What are you working on? Is it the picture I ask you to draw for me?" I push past the red head. His brother wasn't in the room, and I could hear the red head close the door behind me, slowly. Then I get pulled back roughly. My back hits Gaaara's chest and my eyes widen, I sallow hard, and sweat runs down my forehead. Why is it suddenly so warm? And why the hell did he pull me back like this? He then pushes me aside and lowers himself onto the floor. I look down to see a large piece of paper, half painted. That's why, I was probably about to step on it.

Lifting my right hand to my left shirtsleeve which he had used to yank me back I whisper, "Sorry." I keep my hand on my sleeve, and look around the room. I notice a whole lot more about Gaara's side of the room than last time. Tons of sand, and dark colors. I rub my arm, and then feel something wet. I look at my hand and gasp…

"You should leave, I'm busy." He says simply, wiping his hands harshly on a red stained rag. I try to calm myself down, but my breath was too quick to try and slow down. I keep telling myself, 'it's just paint, red paint', but hell I didn't believe myself! After all those rumors I've heard about him, it's only reasonable I think its blood. I was somewhere in-between freaked right-the-fuck out, and really really interested. One of the reasons I had wanted to break Gaara was to find out the truth about all those rumors, after all.

"Are you bleeding?" I ask, the red head became very still. He says nothing and just picks up the paint brushes near the paper on the floor. I walk up to him and duck down looking at the painting. It was him, the only parts colored were his red hair and the flames of yellow and orange. A self-portrait, sadly one I had seen him sketch earlier, so it's not the painting I had asked for. I stop him from getting up and putting away his art supplies. I pull his hand towards me and pry out the brushes. Every single one of his fingertips was stained red, and there were little thin cuts across them. I look up at him, he has a blank sort of expression, only holding a little bit of annoyance.

"You're kidding me right?" I ask softly, "Just like everyone says…" I look at the red in the painting, noticing little texture lines. Left by finger prints probably. Maybe Kiba and Sasuke had a right to worry about me hanging out with Gaara. But, seeing this…all I feel is worry.

"Judge me, I don't care," he says in a monotone voice. I look at him, and I focus on his eyes. It was like someone was holding a mirror in front of my face, a mirror that showed my past. Stained in red, my face, lonely blue eyes, wanting someone to tell me it's ok. No one did…. Green eyes are in front of me once again when I blink.

"It's ok," I say smiling, my eyes closed into slits.

Gaara pulls his hand away from me, and I open my eyes completely to see what was going on. He looked at me confused. Maybe he didn't understand.

"You're not busy tomorrow are you?" I ask, ignoring the fact that there's still blood on my arm. I'm good at ignoring things, sometimes that's the best action to take. He doesn't answer, just continues to clean up, picking up the picture and putting it away in a safe and unseen place. "I was thinking tomorrow we could continue our swimming lessons," I explain.

Gaara didn't seem to hear me, and I was about to repeat myself but was interrupted. "No…" was all he said. For once I didn't push him. His voice just held so much depression and a little bit of confusion too.

"That's fine then," I say, "Just don't leave me all alone waiting at the courtyard." He didn't. He showed up the next day and I talked to him and he didn't respond as usual. He seemed quieter than usual and I was just uneasy, like something was wrong.

I'm worried about Gaara, he seems to be getting worse. He's been really quiet, and his expression is like he's waiting for death. As if he's asking for death, because whatever is bothering him is something he doesn't want to deal with. I can't get the boy to talk, he doesn't want to open up to me, I wish he would. I'm really worried, I mean I've seen him with injuries on his hand. And I'm damn sure they were self-inflected, after all I ain't that stupid. If only I could convince him that he's not alone anymore, that I really do want to be his friend.

He's so intresting, and I really do want him to call me a friend, just the simply victory I would get out of him admitting I'm his friend. It started off like a game, but I never did it because I wanted to harm him, I honestly wanted to get to know him. I don't think he understands that though, I think he doesn't really trust me. I can only wonder what it is that's made him the way he is. I really want to help, because I know damn well it's not good to keep things bottled up inside. I'm really worried. Kiba and Sasuke think I'm being obsessed again. Kiba's quick to point that out, while Sasuke tells me to be careful, and says that I may be getting myself involved with something I shouldn't be sticking my nose into. I don't care, I just can't leave Gaara alone. First of all I've never just left somebody alone, and second of all I can't stop thinking about him.

It's really weird, and I'm starting to think maybe I should back off just a little, because I'm thinking so much about him. But then again I'm like, what if something happens while I'm not there. What if he does think of me as a friend and by backing off I'm just ruining what I've already built up. Then there's the simple fact that he wants me around. Knowing that always makes me smile and maybe me simply being there to talk about nothing right by his side, gives him some sort of help..somehow. I just can't leave him, but summer break will give me time away from him, so it's cool. Maybe I'll figure some stuff out. Like the strange feeling I get when I look at him sometimes, and exactly why this situation seems so different from when I was trying to get to know Sasuke. I mean he's a different person, and not like Sasuke, so of course it's not going to be the same. But I mean I think I'm a little different. I think maybe I'm treating him a little different, and somehow I just see this as a greater achievement, making him my friend. I don't know, it's confusing. I wish I could talk to Kiba or Sasuke about it, but I'd only get lectured.

**Gaara's POV**

I bring my hand before my face. My fingertips have healed, the cuts weren't as deep as last time, so I don't need any Band-Aids. I had been pulled into a trance when I was working on my piece of art, I had tried to control myself. But it's futile to do so when my painting reminds me of myself. Just as last time, I had let myself go crazy, the painting isn't even complete yet.

Then the nymph…what a strange boy he is indeed. He seemed to completely brush off the fact that I had inflicted injury on myself. He even seemed a little concerned, and the way he looked at me was so odd. No one's ever looked at me like that. There was that sadness for the shortest moment that he likes to cover up. I do not expect him to show an interest in my problems, and I would not confine in him anyway. 

Summer vacation seems to be approaching fast, and I'm dreading it.I'm not wanted at home, and during spring break I'm to stay at school, but during the summer there's no escaping my return to the concentration camp. As I think on all this I slowly make my way to the middle of the courtyard where Naruto is already seated. His speaking has changed though, he takes more pauses and glances at me more. I can only guess that it's because he had seen me in an artistic state. Yet he still comes and he still speaks. I haven't worked on a piece of art for him. I don't want to fulfill his wish, I just don't draw for other people, I simply draw for myself.. The boy had also looked at my hands last week. Was he making sure I hadn't cut my fingertips again? Why would he care? I don't understand, and maybe I'm just overthinking everything.

I haven't yet completed my self-portrait, I have no excuse. Maybe I'm fearful that I'll get interrupted once more. I do not like to be seen in that state, it's a private state of mind. It's a private madness, that I don't want others to see, because they'll only misinterpret it. I look at my hands. No one ever understood, and I would get yelled at, it's my fault, all of it. For destroying everything, I sent myself to this school. I wasn't the son I was supposed to be, I was the one who tore everything apart. Isn't that so?

I look at my boots, the blonde is going on about something. A strange feeling of contentment washes over me as my thoughts disappear and I focus on Naruto's talking. I continue to look at my boots, my pants were neatly tucked into them, and fishnet was covering the lower part of the burgundy colored fabric in small patches. Summer vacation may be a torture, but if I were to stay here with Naruto, he may completely reach his goal. Weak I've surely become, never have I been dependent on anyone, never have I had any sort of relationship with anyone. Yet here I sit, permitting this boy to keep me company, even becoming dependent on him…no, I've become only used to the constant talk, nothing more. Yet isn't that an attachment? Have I let myself become attached? No, I may depend on him…the noise, but I've not become attached to him—the noise. I like having the noise around and it strangely soothes me, but I'm not attached to it, or the person. For I do not expect it…or do I? Have I not expected to see the boy out here every day? Either way I've not become attached because I do not give him my trust. So maybe I expect to see is face, and to hear his voice, but I don't expect anything more.

"Gaara?" I'm forced to give the boy my complete attention. "What's wrong?" He's voice was laced with concern and my breathing had stopped from my surprise at the unexpected words. Why should he care if anything is wrong? What makes him think anything is wrong?

"Nothing," I say letting my annoyance at his question shine through.

"You're always so …closed up!" He says a little annoyed himself. "Just tell me what's wrong for god's sake," he mumbles. Once again he's being so completely stupid and confusing. Why is it any of his concern and what is he getting angry for? I say nothing. "You seem so out of it. Does it have something to do with summer vacation being soon? I mean you didn't show up that one time in the courtyard, and now every time you do you look sad."

"I look no different than I usually do," I tell him. I thought it to be true. After all I don't let my emotions play across my face. I look at the boy, and he lets his disappointment in me show. Along with that sadness he likes to hide. Somehow—no it's absurd to think my mood is affecting his mood. Why should he be sad, just because he thinks I am? Though he's right, I'm not very happy, I don't want to return home. I get up and leave without another word being said. Before I completely disappear, I look back at Naruto, who still is holding that sad expression.

I don't understand it, not one bit. It seems like I'm affecting him, like he's sad for me, but yet it's not pity. More of a frustration and worry that sprang from my behavior. Why would anyone do that? Why does he insist on making my problems his business? I felt my heart jump at the thought. He seems to genuinely be concerned…is this what friendship is? A strange feeling overtakes me, and with it came the urge to draw.

**Naruto's POV**

School is going by so fast, and my time with Gaara is running out. It makes me sad. The way he's been acting makes me upset too. Yeah, I guess he's right, he doesn't seem very different than normal, but I can't help but feel that something's bothering him. He just doesn't want to talk about it, no surprise there.

"Do you need help packing?" Sasuke questions me. He's looking down at me while I'm on my bed badly trying to fold my cloths and put them in my suitcase. Sasuke started packing as well. It's only one more week and then this school year is over. I let out a sigh and look out the window, nothing but darkness.

"Yeah that'd be great!" I tell my roommate cheerfully, and he starts to fold while I put the things in my suitcase.

"I know you don't like to go back home, Naruto," Sasuke started. "But you've never been so depressed about it any other summer. Aren't you happy you're going to see Iruka again?"

"Yeah, it's not that I'm sad about going back home. Just guess I'll miss you and everyone." It's not the whole truth, but Sasuke doesn't need to know everything.

He smiles just for a short time before rolling his eyes, "We'll be roommates again next year, you know that."

"Yup, but I ain't got no one to hang out with back home," I say. We finish packing for the night and get some rest. I couldn't help but think of Gaara. What was he going home too? Is that why he seems sad. I mean I can understand maybe he doesn't like his family, but like I said he's acting like he wants death to come and get him.

Gaara isn't at the courtyard, and I let out a sigh. I've been waiting for a while now, and I was starting to think he wasn't going to show up. Today was the last day of school, tomorrow we'll be out for the summer. I'm not too excited but I really do want to see Iruka again. Sasuke told me to give him a call any time I need to talk and I have his e-mail. Though I know he'll be busy when he gets home, Sasuke's house never has a dull moment. I get up disappointed that the red head wouldn't show up, on top of that still worried. I really wonder what his home life is like. I'm stopped in my tracks as a piece of paper is forced into my face. I stumble back just a little but, and take the picture, feeling the Band-Aids on the hand that was holding it I knew it was Gaara and I perk up instantly. But also I worry if he had cut himself again.

I look at the picture that had a lot of orange in it. "Everything is orange based, even the green was mixed with orange," he explains as I admire. "Everything except for the red and lighter green," he added. The picture showed a very short boy with spiky wild orange hair and an upside down cross on his forehead bleeding from his nose and eyes. His eyes were rolled back into his head, and part of his skull showed and patches of blood dirtied the hair. He had long fingernails and was holding a bleeding heart in his hands, he wore no clothes but the orange and yellow water he was placed in covered his waist. Next to him was a blond woman with long hair and a hole in her breast where you could see a couple of broken ribs. She lovingly held a brain to her other breast. The women was a head taller then the man, and a tree branch hung in front of her and touched the water. The two were looking at each other and I couldn't help but laugh when I noticed the both of them smiling at one another.

"At least they're smiling," is the first thing I say. I run a finger across the red part of the painting. I could feel the layers of paint, the paint was really thick, even the red was. I don't think blood is this thick. I think back to the painting I caught Gaara making. He had used his blood and really light water colors. The only light water color in this painting was the orange sky. "Did you..use your blood?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Because …why would you do that?" I had to try hard to keep myself from yelling at him, I just didn't understand what's wrong with him.

"Blood dries up and turns brown. So those rumors you heard are fake. I use red paint."

"But then what's up with the Band-Aid, and that one time when I walked in on you?" Gaara didn't give me an answer, instead he went to sit down, I sat next to him just staring at him. I wanted an answer. I was never given one. I decided I would just talk like I always do. But I couldn't help but feel really sad, and my heart hurt, I really just wanted an answer from Gaara. He's..so strange. Maybe I'm obsessed, maybe Sasuke's right and I shouldn't be hanging around with Gaara, maybe he'll be the end of me. Maybe Gaara's the one person I can't crack open. Oh who am I kidding, I have him wrapped around my finger. After all, he did give me this painting, and no matter what he says I know I'm his friend, or else he wouldn't be here listening to me talk. I wanted to ask him about his home life, but I knew better. He just sat looking down at his shoes, and I kept talking, it's the least I can do for him. It helps him forget after all…whatever it is that bothers him, I drown it out.

A/N: So can you spot the growth (meaning the development of Naruto's and Gaara's relationship you pervs, lol) that took place in this chapter? Please leave reviews. 


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13: Home sweet home

**Gaara's POV**

Slowly it drips from my finger, the bottle of liquid sits next to me. It keeps it from drying up and flaking off the paper. It keeps the blood in place. It has a better chance at staying red, but it's its fate to turn brown. Such a dull color…red hair with age fades the same way. Not in the painting I made for Naruto, I used nothing but paint. This ritual is reserved for the paintings I pour my soul into, my pain, my memories. It's the blood an never saw when he died. The blood that covered me at birth which I do not see but sometimes I feel it on me, as they remind me of my victims. I feel dizzy and hardly notice the knock that sounds through the room. I turn in a haze from the loss of blood towards the door, my thought was simply 'shit' as the door opened. I had thought I locked it.

I try in vain to hide the artwork I'm working on at the moment. Along with the paintings I brought with me from school. The one of the boy sitting in flames…red was no longer there, only dried brown. My self-portrait as well. My red hair had faded to brown.

"Gaara!" The anger in the voice was so clear I wonder why he's in my room. I take up a cloth and clean off my hands. "Stop this shit for gods sake," my father yells at me, picking up my self-portrait, knowing very well blood was used, he ripped it into many pieces. I found it ironic how he tore it apart just like he tore me apart. He's one of the reasons that fuels my artwork. "Get your ass downstairs and eat!"

"I'm not hungry," I mumble out as the only response. I didn't want to talk to my father, and neither did I want him in my room. But this statement only seemed to anger my father more.

"Get your ass downstairs and fucking eat. You always have to cause fucking problems when you're here. And you wonder why I hate having you come home!" I hadn't eaten since I arrived home two days ago. I get up still dizzy and walk downstairs. I hate this place so much, I just want to leave here. I can't paint here often unless I'm sure I won't get caught. Occasionally when I'm not home my father will go through my bags and rip up all my artwork. That's why I stayed in my room for those first two days. But soon I won't be able to stand being inside and I'll go outside and sit on the beach leaving my art unprotected.

A plate is set in front of me by my sister. She has nothing but pity towards me, but I can tolerate her more than my father. She sits next to me and I pick up a fork full of the KusKus and turkey that she made. I keep my eyes on my food and bring it to my mouth, not at all paying attention to my sister, until she speaks.

"So how about this school year, you make any friends?" She questions in a monotone voice. She always asks me this, I don't know why she so badly wishes me to have a friend. I think back to Naruto, as I eat on and neglect to answer my sister's question. All I can think of is how the blonde boy never gave up, showed concern…saved my painting from being distorted. I stop eating suddenly not having much of an appetite anymore. I put away my dishes and then head back upstairs to my room where I'm not surprised to see bits of paper scattered all over the floor. I ignore it, and just walk through the bits of paper, and sit on my bed, deciding that re-reading the Karan would be a good pass-time. I somehow feel myself longing for some noise in this jail…my home, it's too quite. I try to ignore it but after a while I get up and go to my closet to see if I can't uncover my hardly used CD player, along with the few CD's I own. I find the player and three CDs. I put in the newer CD, the artists being "She Wants Revenge", in my opinion an interesting blend between techno and punk. At least I label it as such. After pressing play I go back to reading.

My mind soon starts to drift when a rather good song with a masochistic sexual theme comes on. I just lay back and listen to the song. My eyes close, and I think of school. I think about the things others have said about me. And I wonder if they've called me masochistic. I don't believe I am..though Naruto may think otherwise. How is it that no matter what I think of, my mind always seems to drift back to that boy? I don't feel as guilty for wanting him here, to listen to him talk on about something that made absolutely no sense. Even not being around him, he seems to be pulling me deeper into the water. My hand seems to not be able to hold on to that slippery rock, even if the song has stopped it still echoes.

**Naruto's POV**

I hum to myself in my room, my TV on mute because Iruka is asleep. I'm playing Dead or Alive on Xbox live, actually I'm fighting against Kiba who's under the name of K-9. I have my headphones off at the moment. Kiba just entered not too long ago, so I hadn't had it on because I didn't feel like talking to people. But I'll talk to Kiba after the match. After I win I put on my headphones and greet Kiba.

"Hey Naruto, so have you stepped outside your house yet? Or are you just gonna play video games all summer?"

"I was forced to do yard wok yesterday. Other than that, nope, sure haven't been outside," I chuckle. This was followed by other small talk and fighting against other people that were online, even playing a tag team game. I then tell Kiba I'm logging off. It's not late, it's only ten before midnight so I go downstairs, turn on the TV and get out a bag of chips. I try to see if there are any late night scary movies on, or see if there isn't free porn on one of those channels. Sometimes they show that kinda stuff on movie channels, but usually it's always on payperview. And I sure as hell can't order anything! Iruka would ground me. I stop on HBO which is showing some movie I never even heard of but seeing as there's nothing else on, I watch it. Summer really is uneventful, and I feel a little bored. I wonder what Gaara is doing. How many times before have I wondered this? My eyebrows frowned together, as I seriously try to think about how many times the boy has come to mind. I'm worried, and that's the reason why I'm thinking about him. All I see is his sad face, and I wonder if maybe he's not holding a worse expression now. I wish I had some idea of what his home life is like. I rest my hand over my chest, as my heart pounds fast. God am I that scared for him? This is stupid! I mean even though I'm away from him, he's all I'm thinking about. He's worrying me, and I have no damn idea if I even have a reason to worry! God what has he done to me? Why am I so worried? Why do I think about him so much? Why is my heart pounding so bad? God dammit this never happened with Sasuke! But, I can't help but wonder…maybe he's thinking of me. Maybe if he is sad right now, maybe in a way I'm still comforting him. If he thinks of me, then aren't I providing comfort? I hope I am.

Letting out a sigh, I eat my chips. Near the end of the movie I get up and get myself something to drink. I take out a bottle of soda and pour it into a glass, taking a sip and then turning to head back into the living room. A new movie was on and I set my glass on the table by the bag of chips. The only sound coming from the TV was the sound of running footsteps, and that's all you see. Someone running down a dark hall. They weren't wearing any shoes, and it seemed kinda interesting, maybe a scary movie.

The camera moves up and you get to see the person's face. It was a blond guy who seemed to be scared shitless. He turns to look over his shoulder and the minute he does so he runs into someone who they don't show and screams. I really wanted to know what was going on and what the movie's title was. The next thing you see is teeth sinking into the guys neck. A vampire movie? The screen goes black and the movie title comes on, it simply read "Master". The movie starts up again and now the blond guy was hanging from a wall and there were candles everywhere in that room. A door creeks open and a man with shoulder length red hair steps into the room. I couldn't help but laugh a little , the guy reminded me of Gaara. Gloomy look on his face, all black gothic like clothes, and then of course the red hair. The blond guy starts to panic and scream "no" over and over again. Man what a pussy.

The other dude just laughs and you can see he has vampire teeth. The guy really does remind me of Gaara, of the rumors about Gaara being a bloodsucker. I frowned a little, he may not suck blood but he does make himself bleed. For a moment worry came over me again, but the sound of a scream from the TV pulled me back to the movie. The blonde boy had his eyes closed tight, and the man was very close to him now, practically breathing down his neck. The blonde starts to struggle, trying to kick him away, it's then that I notice the blond doesn't have any cloths on…. weird. I just shrug it off, there always seems to be nudity in vampire movies, but also I hoped for some blood and vampire killing. What I got instead was a kiss, and a whimper from the blonde guy. My eyes widen and I was shocked, this sure doesn't look like any scary movie I've ever seen. There were whispers of "no" and another husky whisper of "stop struggling", then claw like hands drew blood from thighs on an area dangerously close to…um…Oh my god! I search for the remote and change the channel quickly. I take in a deep breath and run my hand over my face, covering my eyes. I change the channel back and peek through my fingers. This is gay porn! I couldn't look away for a minute but then turn off the TV, and decide that sleep will get rid of those images.

I shudder a little trying to forget what I just saw and crawl under my covers, a little grossed out by what I saw. I close my eyes and just stare in the dark for a while. I mean how could HBO show gay porn! I trusted HBO! Never again will I watch any kind of movie channel late at night. Pulling the covers over my head, I force my eyes closed, and try to fall asleep. Eventually it worked, and I relax into sleep.

_I'm sitting in the courtyard waiting for Gaara. The red head shows up and it starts to rain. I run up to him and he says to follow him, I do so and we go into the art room. He holds the door open for me and I step in. He closes the door and locks it. I ask him why we were in the art room, but I get no answer. He walks toward me slowly and before I knew it I get pushed against the wall and handcuff are put around my wrist. We were still in the art room though._

_"You'll be my canvas," Gaara whispers into my ear and like magic my clothes disappear._

_"No," I whisper, and Gaara kisses me, then pulls away to tell me to stop struggling. This all seemed oddly familiar, as I felt his finger nails draw blood from my thigh, and move towards my crotch. But he didn't touch me, simply licked my blood off his fingers and kissed me again. His fingers trailed down my cheek and neck, leaving red behind. My red headed friend-made-lover then lowers himself, running a hand down my sides as he does so. His tongue runs over the cut on my thigh, lapping up the blood and I moan. I mean damn it felt good, I couldn't help myself! Gaara spreads my legs further apart and his tongue roams my inner thigh before finally reaching my—"_

"Naruto!" The sound of my name being called woke me up and I was sweating all over, my heart pounding

"I'm going to work! If you want you can come over at lunch and we can go eat out together!" Irkua called from downstairs. I could hardly breath and my voice wouldn't work.

"Are you awake Naruto!" Came another call and the sound of feet climbing the stairs caused me to panic.

"Yeah I heard you! I'll come at Lunch!" I call back. With that Iruka leaves. I let out a long sigh and wipe the sweat from my forehead. I lay back and let out a groan, my erection throbbed and I knew I should either finish it or take a cold shower. Feeling a little weirded out at the dream that caused me to wake up with my little friend on high alert, I decide to take a cold shower.

I try to ignore the fact that I had just had a sexual dream about a MALE friend of mine. However it was really hard to do so as I washed myself and couldn't help but imagine that Gaara was touching me, not my own hands. I slap my face with both hands and attempt to get control over my thoughts. I think back at all those strange feelings I had when I looked at him, how my heart speeds up and how I constantly thought he was so different from Sasuke. Thinking on how Kiba had said I was obsessed and pointed out how I was even treating him different then Sasuke. Yes Gaara wasn't as rude as Sasuke had been, and I was acting a little obsessed maybe, but was I… I mean I'm worried for him now, but that's natural right? It's natural for friends to worry about other friends, it doesn't have anything to do with me having a …. No, I mean he's a guy and, it's just that I always worry about my friends, and Gaara is such a mysterious friend I just let my imagination go crazy. A little too crazy for my own good. I run my hand over my face and turn off the shower. I look at myself in the mirror, looking at my eyes and remembering his green ones. His oh-so-sad green eyes, that remind me a little of myself. I just want to help, I just want to get to know him. I already know him a little, in my opinion, at least better than most. I just want to be his friend. Worrying about him, about a friend is natural…thinking about him almost every day is—God I think I'm in love with him!

**Gaara's POV**

I'm sitting on the beach watching the waves roll in. Behind me only a couple of feet away is my house. I couldn't wait for summer to be over, but it seems to be going so slow. This place is the only escape from my father, seeing as he works from home. I look out over the sea and think back on the time I almost drowned. I run my hands through the almost pure white sand. The sand gives me peace, not the waves, I remember coming out here after he…. After I…I never saw any blood, it was all internal, I never saw any. My father hated me even more after that. He couldn't understand me, if he ever was able to before I can't remember. That's when it all started, when I started to paint. Started to replace red paint with blood. Taking comfort in the words my uncle had spoken to me. So I stopped feeling, I stopped caring, and once I did so it was plain to see how much I really was disliked by my family. I didn't care, I was alone and I didn't care, because I didn't want anything fake. I didn't want fake love or affection, it was simple.

I look out towards the seawater, an element that reminds me of Naruto. He seemed genuinely concerned. Why would I paint with my blood? Because it assures me that I'm alive. It stopped hurting a long time ago, everything stopped hurting a long time ago. Even if I can't feel it, the presence of blood tells me I am alive. Even if I'm not wanted by anyone I'll keep living for myself. I'll continue on to spite them. I live isolated but present so that they won't forget I'm still alive and that they can't get rid of me, they can't break me. After all, suicide is a sign of weakness, why should I stop existing only to please others? After all, I want to live for myself, it's people I don't like, not life.

Am I wanted by Naruto? I wonder..He likes to hang around me or at least that's what it seems like. So am I wanted by him? I could care less, it's just something I can occupy my mind with while this horrible summer goes on. I get up and walk back up to my house, the thought of the blond having inspired my hand to move. I lock my bedroom door and sketch out a picture. A mermaid with a harpoon through her chest. The rest of the afternoon I work on this piece of art, doomed to be destroyed by my father, who so hates to see my artwork. A loud bang comes at my door.

"Gaara open this door!" My father's voice came. He seems to be in the mood to torture me this summer. I get up and open the door. He comes in dropping off a basket of laundry. "Put them in your closet. I told you to do that this morning. We have guests coming over later on, I don't want this house to be a mess," he says coldly, glancing at the picture on the floor, he picks it up and I don't try to stop him. "What's your problem?" He sighs out, I say nothing. "All you ever paint is death and pain, go on and kill yourself if you want," he spits out ripping the picture in half. "Maybe if you spent less time drawing this shit you call art, and more time listening to me, you would have had the laundry put away this morning," With that he leaves. No one has ever understood my artwork. I draw reality, and the reality of death is part of life. So is pain and you can't ignore it, you can only escape it and choose for yourself how you will let it affect you, but you can't ignore it.

I think back on those blue eyes that held sadness every once in a while. What ever he is ignoring, it affects him badly. He hasn't made a choice yet, he ignores it, therefore he can't move on. Does he understand that concept? No, he seems to like to ignore it and be happy all the time or act like he is happy, not showing sadness, all because he doesn't want others to see. Why act happy for the sake of others? He's a strange creature and I doubt I'll be able to stop contemplating his actions and his personality. How stupid is it of me to want to have him here to listen to him talk? I've truly become attached, I should be careful around him. This is what he wanted and what I've tried to avoid. I've failed yet it doesn't seem so bad.

**Naruto's POV**

Miserably I walk through town towards Iruka's work place. My heart doesn't seem to want to stop pounding and all I can think of is Gaara and the dream I had. That and every once in a while a really scary sadness comes over me, along with worry. Is this what it feels like to be lovesick? How can I have a crush on Gaara? I mean I've never thought of a guy like that before. But now every time I think of him my heart flutters, and I worry and all that crap! I remember stuff like this happening before, when I looked at him and stuff, like that one time in science class.

I'm knocked out of my thoughts when a ball hits the back of my head. "I'm sorry mister!" Came the high pitched voice of a young boy.

"That's fine," I say rubbing the back of my head I duck down to hand the boy his ball. "Be more careful next time, you could knock someone out like that," I say giving him a smile. The boy grins back and takes the ball from me.

"Bobby come here!" His mother came up to us and took his arm, dragging him away, not at all being quiet when she tells him, "You stay away from that boy, he has bad blood flowing through him." I frowned and continue walking, now not as concerned about my possible homosexuality, but I notice the stares the people are giving me. God I hate small towns.

Me and Iruka are sitting in a little café, where waiters and customers alike glare or stare at me. It's hard for a little peaceful town to forget a violent act and no matter who you are, if you are somehow connected to that violent act, you are to blame even if you didn't do anything.

"Something on your mind Naruto?" Iruka asks, taking me out of my thoughts.

I give him a big smile. "Nope, just thinking about school," I say, "This school year was great," I go on happily and soon a conversation between me and Iruka spring up. I tell him about Gaara, and I swear every time I mentioned him I felt like I floated up an inch into the sky. Of course I don't tell Iruka about my possibly crush on him, and I definitely ain't going to tell him about my dream! But Iruka gave me smiles and such and eye contact never broke, which made me feel like he was looking right through me, and knew that I might be interested in the red head. God what am I thinking? I'm talking like I'm going to go back to school and tell Gaara I love him. I don't! I just like him as I friend, he's really nice. Creepy, but nice. He's just a friend and an interesting person, a really interesting person, who I wish I could make smile. He probably looks really cute when he smiles…God dammit! I can't fool myself, that dream is proof enough I don't really think of him as a friend. Then I'm thinking back on all those awkward times at school. Why did I just figure this out now, and on accident too! I mean, this is just too weird. I sure as hell can't tell Gaara! But man I kinda miss the little weirdo, ontop of that I'm still a little worried, wonder what he's doing?

A/N: Sadly I know from personal experience the horror of HBO. Thus I never flip channels late at night.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: I'd like to apologize for my taking so long to update. I know it can be annoying when an authors takes so long to update, but I promise I will try and not let this happen again. It's just many things came up. Many other projects such as a project a friend and me have been working on that if u like can view on Youtube, called Naruto south the days of our lives. Along with birthday parties including my own and I've been working on stories that in the future I would like to publish with my own characters and such. So I'm pretty sure this long pause won't happen again until I take my family vacation. But then that won't be as long as this one before.

Chapter 14: Back to school

**Naruto's POV**

I wait by the gate, watching people be dropped off. But I'm waiting for someone. I really need to get my emotions off my chest. All I could think about was that dream that I had, I really need to talk to him. He needs to get here, I can't stand holding all this crap in. My eyes brighten as I see my friend.

"Sasuke!" I yell jumping the boy who just stepped out of a black BMW.

"Get off of me Naruto," he grumbles obviously not in a good mood. His brother hands Sasuke his bag, and Sasuke yanks it out of his hand, and just turns around in a huff, and walks off. His brother wasn't at all phased by this, and just got back into the driver's seat. I go to follow Sasuke. I was kinda worried; he probably didn't have a good summer. He has something against his brother or something, I know that, and he doesn't usually like to go home.

"Hey something wrong?" I ask, he walks up to the room that is ours. Still the same as last year, it hardly ever changes. Of course they send out your dorm number to you before school starts along with your class schedule.

"It's nothing Naruto," he says, his bangs hiding his eyes. He unpacks, and I really want to talk to him about…Gaara. I don't' want to talk to Kiba, he'd just freak out. Sasuke usually gives good advance, and maybe I should have listened to him and stayed away from gaara, because then I wouldn't be having this problem.

"Sasuke can I talk to you, about something important?" I ask seriously. My friend looks up at me with question in his eyes.

"Of course,' he states simply sounding a little cold but also a little concerned.

I take in a deep breath and start, "Ok so I know you don't like me being around Gaara, and you told me to stay away," Sasuke's eyebrows frowned into a murderous look. He obviously thinks Gaara did something. "But I have a problem. Please don't laugh or freak out or anything. Ok? I don't know who else I could talk to about this. Nothing between use will change ok?"

"Just tell me already."

"I…I..think I'm in love Gaara," I finally blurt out. I whence expecting Sasuke to do something or yell. Actually Sasuke only gave me a sad smile, it was really creepy! I wait for him to talk.

"Don't tell him…it'll hurt not to tell him, but it's better that way. People like Gaara…they don't understand love, they'll just hurt you. Cause they're cold hearted bastards," Sasuke tries to calm down again, and I had a feeling we weren't only talking about Gaara.

"Well what do I do? I mean I can't just stop hanging around him. He needs a friend," I tell Sasuke.

"Then just act normal. When you start second guessing how you're acting that's when you slip up and start to sound suspicious or stupid." He says calmly, and finishes un-packing. "And you know if you slip somehow people like Gaara will use it against you, toy with you. So it might be best just to back off for a while," he goes on. I nod my head, thinking about all the stuff Sasuke told me. I let out a sigh.

"So you're not like. Ew you're gay, and stuff?"

"I don't care" Sasuke says plainly.

"Don't tell Kiba all right?" Sasuke nods. And I go to look out the window, wondering if maybe Gaara was sitting in his usually spot. I perked up when I saw the red head walking to the flowerbed, which was in full bloom. Then I think about what Sasuke said about backing off for awhile. But I mean come on I haven't seen him all summer and I gotta make sure he's ok. I mean he didn't look too happy about going home. I run out of the room. Why am I running? God I'm sure I have a crush on him if I'm acting like this. I force myself to slow down. I walk out into the courtyard letting out the deep breath I took before reaching Gaara. He looks up at me no expression on his face. He then turns back to looking straight ahead at the gate were all the boys are being dropped off. I sit down and for a while it was quite. I don't know why but I couldn't bring myself to talk. Until a cold voice echoed threw my head.

"Talk," it was a request not a command, and my heart skipped a beat. God I wish I never would have had that dream. I don't think I can act normal around him, maybe I should just try and stay away from him. He seems ok, no more emotionless then usually. Actually he seemed to be really at peace like he's relieved to be here, or maybe I'm just imagining it.

"Is something wrong?" He asks in a monotone voice.

My voice squeaks before I can correctly say, "No."

Gaara does that head tilt back thing, that's equal to an eyebrow left. He was obviously say 'what's your problem'. I let a grin spread across my face, and prepare to ignore everything. Gaara's just my friend, it'd be impossible for us to be anything more.

"So how was you're summer?" No answer Gaara just looks back at the gate, I frowned a little but then smile again and go on to tell the boy about my summer in a cheerful tone. Leaving out the wet dream I had about him and the fact that the town hates me. No need in telling him that, right? I wanted him to answer me, to talk. I wanted to hear his voice, and want to know that I can do what only a few if any can accomplish, make him speak. Start a conversation with him. He didn't answer any of my questions about his summer break so I decided on another topic.

"Are you taking an art class again this year?" He nods his head. I get encouraged to go on. "I still have your painting, got it up in my dorm. Though I'm kinda afraid to hang it up, cause it is a little creepy. I do like it though. Why do you always draw things like that?"

**Gaara's POV**

Because it's the most realistic thing about life. Death, pain it all goes hand in had with life, you can't escape it, those emotions make everyone equal, death makes everyone equal. I don't tell Naruto this, I don't answer his question at all. I'm glade to have him here, to listen to his constant rambling, even though it seems he's trying to start a conversation with me.

"What do you like to use to draw the most? Like paint and stuff," he asks me casually.

It really depends on what I'm painting. But I like to use watercolors the most, manly because it's easier for me to blend in my blood if I do lose my self in the painting. "Water colors," I simply answer.

"Do you like do anything else? Like I mean can you carve or make clay figures? Or do you just paint. And then which kind of art is your favorite type?" He bomb bards me with questions, which I find somewhat annoying, but the sound of his voice is enough to make me answer.

"I can also do sand sculpting, but I don't do it often. I like to paint," I tell him.

'Sand uh? That's so cool," the boy says happily his eyes in slits. He lets out a sigh. "I wish I had some sort of talent. But all I do is play video games."

"You can sing," I say without thinking. I hadn't even really noticed I said it, until the last word came out of my mouth. Naruto smiles at me, I let my eyes fall only briefly on his features before looking back at the gate.

'You really like my singing?" He laughs. "I don't think I'm anything special."

"I've only heard you once…" I say I didn't really know were I was going with this. The little nymph as tricked me into conversation, not my best department. So I blame the sentence (if u can even call it such) on lack of having anything better to say.

"What kind of music you listen too?" He asks.

I stay quite, thinking that I should stop the conversation. But I haven't heard his talking all summer. Though I wish he would just rant on about something and stop talking to me. "I hardly listen to music, but I suppose mainly alternative rock."

"What's your favorite song?" He asks. And I wondered what the point of this was. For a moment I think back on all the CDs I own, which isn't a lot. Actually I only own three, Era, She wants revenge, and a mixed CD. I think of all the songs on the mixed CD, and one comes to mind. A nice song with the beautiful mixture of an angelic voice, and rock music.

"Nemo," I give as my favorite song.

"Ok I'll learn the lyrics to that song, sing it fore you, and then you can honestly tell me what you think about my singing." He says cheerfully, once again he gets up to leave without hearing my answer. Or maybe he was just not expecting one, or he didn't need one. Probably didn't need one, he's already made up his mind. I sit out in silent solitude for just a bit longer before heading back to my dorm. Tomorrow would be the first day of school; my line up of classes is completely to my liking. All of my electives are art based. Photography, advanced art, computer graphics, then my science class is anatomy, which will help in art to, I'm sure. Either way I like it here much better then I do home. Which is somewhat a new feeling, seeing as I never really had an opinion o this place, all I knew was that the students annoy me. Now though I have a liking for it, or at least I favor it over my home, I can't help but to think that this is Naruto's fault.

The next morning, I get out of bed before my brother. I had another night were sleep wouldn't come. I had the same problem threw out most of the summer. Needless to say the rings under my eyes are only getting darker. I just can't seem to sleep, but I cover those bags under my eyes up with drawing black around my eyes evenly. If I don't do so, teachers will insist on talking to me about how bad I look and if I should go to the nurse. Sleep isn't needed for me most of the time, and what would the nurse be able to do? I slip on a simple black shirt, with the word 'live' on the front and 'evil' on the back. Then I put on some loose fitting burgundy pants, with a belt and decided to sit in the courtyard for only a little while before the classes started. Garbing my bag with my books, and supplies I may need for class I head down to my usually place.

I was surprised when a yawn sounded from next to me. I look to see Naruto walking towards me. He was wearing an orange shirt with the words Reese's pieces on the front, and light blue jeans. He drops himself down next to me, rubbing his eyes.

"Sasuke woke me up," he yawns, "So I though I'd come out here. I've learned the song." He tells me. I was a little surprised, but I suppose it doesn't take long to learn a song, you just have to read lyrics and listen to the songs a couple of times. "Of course I can't very well sing the guitar solo, so you'll have to do with out it," he says smiling sleepily. "All right, here it goes, honest opinion. I wanna know if I do have some sort of talent," he says before closing his eyes, most likely to properly recall the song before he starts to sing. I hear the taping of his foot, and then his mouth opens to let out the first note. And with that first note came the flow of the whole song, in waves.

He held the notes perfectly. Even if his eyes held the remnants of sleep, his voice was not effected by the early morning._  
_The chorus was sung like the crashing of waves. Truly his voice will drowned me. He could control his voice so well that he could go from high to low in an instant.

_  
_I couldn't keep my eyes off him while he sang. Yes I've come to be attached to his voice, and even though he wasn't around me in the summer, somehow he had dragged me down. I won't tell him though. I don't wish to call him a friend, but I won't mind his company. I haven't after all, seeing as I've let him keep me company for a long time. I won't call him a friend, but I'll accept him as such. I think I already have, during the summer. Yet again I wonder am I wanted by Naruto?

He seems to want to be around me, singing for me. I suppose things like this is what friends do. They get one anothers opinion, and they give to one another. It's odd, and I'm still not use to it, but I'll be lying to myself if I said that I haven't become attached. If I would say my head is still above water, it would be a blatant lie. I suppose having a friend isn't so bad. It's just one after all, and I still have my privacy. _  
_

Naruto stops, almost abruptly. Then he looks at me, with a lifted eyebrow, "Well, be honest," he says.

"It was…very good," I mumble. The boy grins, I guess feeling quiet proud of himself. The sound of the first bell rings threw out the school, and I get up hauling my bag over my shoulder.

"Shit, I forgot my books in my dorm," Naruto says loudly and runs towards his dorm. I walk to my first class , math.

**Naruto's POV**

I reach my room, and grab my books, then run towards my first class, which is science. I make it just in time, sliding into the classroom on my knees. My new science teacher looks down at me, pushing his rather large glasses up.

"Well I'm glade to see you're so excited about anatomy, but no need for a grand entrance. Take a set," he tells me, and I do so. The teacher looks really young, even though he has gray hair. He introduced himself as Mr. Yakush. Either way science was boring, except for the two boys in the back that were gossiping about how supposedly this guy and my old science teacher Mr. Orochimaru are having a love affair. It almost made me gag, but then I couldn't help but laugh at the thought. Of course this got Mr.Yakush attention and I got yelled at to be quiet and pay attention.

Either way classes were boring until I noticed I had math with Kiba, and I had Sasuke in the same PE class. My last class for the day is Language Arts. I walk into the room, and I look over the class, which is still a little empty seeing as how the bell isn't close to ringing yet. In the back I spot read hair, and the monotone expression on the red heads face told me it was Gaara. I head up to go sit next to him, but then I think about how maybe I shouldn't. Sasuke told me it'd be better to keep my distance. I feel a little happy though when I think back on what Gaara had said this morning. He had liked my singing, with a smile I decide it wouldn't hurt to sit next to him. What's the worst that could happen?

Nothing at all happened seeing as Gaara was silent through out the whole class, of course I didn't expect him to talk. However I couldn't help but every once in a while giving my self the pleasure of sneaking a brief glance at him. I was doing this so much I hardly noticed when the bell to end class rang. Gaara gets up looking at me, and I felt embarrassed, had he noticed me staring at him? With not a word said he walks out of the classroom, and like the love sick puppy I am I pathetically go run after him. I wanted to say something but it was hard for me to form words. He was walking just a few steps in front of me, and I started to trail behind, trying to think of something to say. It just felt like something needed to be said. My eyes dart about as I think, and then they land on the very attractive backside of the boy in front of me. I slap myself in the face, remembering how Sasuke had said to act normal.

Gaara stops ducking down to lean his bag against the flower bed wall, which didn't help to keep my eyes off his ass. I sit next to him, trying to act normal. After all we always hang out in the courtyard, today's not gonna be any different. The red head took out a camera, and seemed to be checking the film.

"What's that for?" I'm so grateful that the camera brought up conversation..

"I was already given an assignment in photography, one of my classes," Gaara mumbles. I was glade I got an answer so quickly. Then my face darkened, I remembered abruptly that he may have cut his finger again, and I couldn't stop my hand from reaching out to his hastily. I examine it, and see no trace of any self-mutilation, and let out a sigh, which was greeted with a prompt jerk, as Gaara annoyed pulled his hand away from mine. I give him a smile, his face expression stays cold.

I wish I knew about Gaara's home life. I wanted to know from his own word what it is that I help him to forget. I wanted to know about the boy. After all wanting to figure out rumors and really getting to know the boy is what started all this. This sitting in the courtyard with him….this falling in love with him. I remember how Gaara hadn't answered my question about summer yesterday and my heart drops. Maybe I had had a reason for my worrying all summer. Maybe Gaara really didn't like his home life, and he was miserable the whole time. I sadden thinking about it. A light flashes and spots appear before my eyes.

"Did..did you just take a picture of me!" I yell out in surprise, causing a lot of the boys who were passing us by to stop and stare.

"Yes," Gaara says plainly like it's the must natural thing in the world to take random pictures of people.

"Why?"

A/N: I'll stop it here before the chapter gets to long. A mini cliffhanger I guess you could say.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15: A picture holds the soul

**Gaara's POV**

I stare at Naruto who's face all of a sudden had darkened. There it was again, that sadness, but it wasn't his own. It was like he was sad for me again. Still I don't really understand why someone would be sad for another, but I take a picture of the blonde boy. He promptly starts to yell at me not believing I just took a picture. He inquires why.

"Sadness is art," I tell him. My first attempt to explain to someone my style of art. My photography teacher had already given the class a simple assignment. Take pictures in your own style your own taste, take pictures of your favorite things, and your ideals. A way of getting to know her students. The picture would be great, seeing as I got just a little amount of the flower in it as well.

"Sadness is art?" Naruto echo's back. "I didn't allow you to take a picture of me," he snaps playfully, the boy is so odd. "What am I your favorite subject for school art projects. First that painting of me now the picture," he says.

"I suppose you are," I tell him in a monotone voice not thinking much of it. But obviously this surprised the boy and he gave me an odd look. "What?" I question finding it a little strange that he's staring at me with his mouth a little agape, and his eyes holding something I can't place. It's not sadness though. After all Naruto seems to be a muse of some sort to me. Like I've said before you can't pick your muses. Some things or some people just seem to inspire you, and sadly Naruto as that sort of control over me. I think back to when I had painted that painting for him, he had had control then to. I've defiantly drowned, no matter how much I had tried to keep him away, he is a friend. But still I have some control as well, and no matter if he is sad for me, I will not tell him about my family life. It's really none of his business, it's mine alone. He doesn't need to know everything. He can keep me company and I'll admit I've grown a little fond of his presence, but still I will keep things to myself.

I wonder again how this 'attachment' came to be, and how it will fall. I don't like being attached to people, it only leads to problems. Things are expected from you when in a friendship after all, right? I don't expect anything from the boy, but I have accepted him, and I admit I like to keep him as company. He must think of me as a friend too, so does he expect things from me? I will not act any different then I always do, so I doubt I'll fulfill any expectations he has.

"What else are you going to take pictures of?" I don't answer because I had none. It's odd, it seems I'm doing as much talking as the boy is. He tries to get me into conversation, and I seem to easily answer now. I suppose it's no big deal. As long as the boy talks back, and like I said I still have control. When I don't want to speak I don't, it never seems to discourage the boy. Sometimes he'll even give up on conversation and just go on rants, he's done it like that before.

'What exactly is your assignment?" He questions.

"Simply to take pictures," I tell him.

"Why not take a picture of the courtyard? It looks nice with the flower and shit," he suggests, and it doesn't seem like a bad idea, but I decide to do this later.

"How many pictures have you already taken?"

"Just the one of you," I tell him. Soon this all fades into Naruto going on about something and I only half listen to the boy. One of the boy's friends comes down. I remember him, Sasuke I believe was his name, but I can't be sure.

"Hey Naruto, can you come with me?" He questions and the blonde is quick to jump up and follow, giving me a wave goodbye. I then get up myself, I take my bag and lay it on the spot were I was seated. I then take a picture of the courtyard, before getting said bag and leaving to go to my room. I look around the room seeking other things I could use for the assignment. Though there really is no rush seeing as it's due in a week. I reassure myself of that and put the camera aside, taking out a sketchbook, just to pass the time.

**Naruto's POV**

Sasuke lets out a sigh and shakes his head at me. "What?" I ask.

"You really shouldn't be hanging around him so much, what if you slip up?" He says sternly.

"I won't slip up, Sasuke," I reassure my friend with a wave of my hand.

"For your sake I hope so," he tells me. I look at him and I really wonder why he seems so concerned, calm and cool. Ontop of that what makes him so sure that I would get hurt if I did tell Gaara how I feel? I wanted to ask him, but something told me that I should just mind my own business. Sasuke's only looking out for me is all. Still I don't think I can just keep away from Gaara, he's just…there's something about him that makes me want to stay close. Maybe it's just because of my crush. But still I want to be near; I want to make him happy.

I'm pulled out of the silence that had fallen over the room when the door swung open to reveal Kiba. "What better way to start of the school year then with a casual drink among friends," he says with a grin, which was greeted with Sasuke's glare. "Come on Sasuke have a drink with us," he offers, but Sasuke only shakes his head in disappointment.

"Go drink in your dorm," my black haired friend commanded.

"Fine, come on Naruto, Shino said he was going to take a shower and spend some time in the library anyway." With that said I followed Kiba to his dorm, to spend some time with him. "I guess some things never change," Kiba sighs out once the door is closed and hands me a bottle of beer.

"Yeah," I say with a smile across my face. I really love being here in school more then I like being at home, even if sometimes I miss Iruka. Kiba and I hung out for a while, drinking, but not too much and looking at one of those girly magazines I used to enjoy looking at. Now though they don't seem so interesting. And I found my mind drifting to Gaara, sometimes my mind came up with strange images that I'd rather not go into full detail about. When Shino said that I should go back to my dorm and get some sleep, I did as I was told, after saying something in a half-drunken slur. So maybe I had had one to many, but I stumbled across the hall to mine and Sasuke's dorm.

The light was already off, so Sasuke already went to sleep I tumble over to my bed and just let myself fall. I couldn't help myself, all I am thinking about is Gaara, I never new being in love meant you would be thinking so much about the person who's caught your interest. You know it almost hurt. This feeling almost hurt, I want him to be happy. I want to be the one who makes him happy. I wish I could get him to open up just a little bit more. Wanting so much for him, and then this feeling of selfishness, this "I want to make him happy', and this pride that I feel when I think back to how I've cracked the red head open. But ontop of all these feelings is a little bit of fear. Yeah, that's all I can say it is, fear maybe with this little tiny spot of hope. I'm scared that Gaara will never return my feelings, but I really want to tell him, tell him that I want everything for him, that I want to know everything about him. This want, to tell him is fueled by this one spot of hope in my heart, this one hope that maybe he will return my feelings. Gaara's never talked about his sexual preferences; he's never said anything about any sort of relationship…he's never really had one I suppose. He's always been sitting out there in that courtyard alone. I wonder if maybe I have a chance..but I sound so god damn stupid. I feel foolish, and selfish, what if this is just a small little crush, something that will pass. I'll stay his friend...because I don't' want to hurt him. We'll stay only friend, just in case this is just a passing emotion, something I'll grow out of. But then when I think about him and when I feel that butterfly sensation of hope…I just can't believe I'll get over him.

The week passes by rather fast, but that's how it usually is for me the first week of school. I've watched Gaara fumble with his camera this whole week to. Yup that's right, I'm hanging around in the courtyard, even if it would be better to distance myself a little. I just can't though, I want to be around him. This time as I'm sitting next to him humming and looking up at the rather cloudy summer sky, an idea pops up. A grin spreads across my face as I turn towards the red head.

"You know Gaara, a good place to take some pictures for your project would be at the mall. Or somewhere else outside the school", Gaara only gives me this cold look, and then goes back to gazing at his camera. "Come on, I'm sure your classmates are going to do that."

"Art isn't' a competition, but a sort of second skin. Therefore I only do what I'm comfortable with," he mumbles, with a hint of annoyance in his voice. He puts the camera away in his bag.

"Why don't' you like to be outside the school grounds?" I get no answer. I frown and have the urge to get closer to Gaara, and put my arm around him: as if I wanted to say it's ok and I'm sorry for bringing it up. But I stopped myself. Why does he seem so shut off to everyone else but me? I can get into his bubble he lets me, but why won't he loosen up a little? "Have you taken anymore pictures?" I ask he shakes his head, he really only has three picture, he told me that yesterday. Those three pictures were briefly describe to me as a picture of himself surrounded by books, and one of the courtyard, and of course the picture of me.

**Gaara's POV**

"Well I'm sure that you'll find some other crap to take photos of, and then my offer to go to the mall is always up for grabs", the blonde tells me and I say nothing in return. I don't want to go to the mall, I'm not big on shopping. I know what I want and go buy it and then leave. I could never just aimlessly wonder around a shopping mall. Ontop of that I don't want to be around so many people. Naruto then seemed like something was on his mind, but wasn't sure if he should ask. I did nothing to encourage him opening up to me. If he doesn't want to ask I could care less. Though his silence didn't' please me. I look at the blonde, and for a moment I see his blue eyes flash a glance at me before looking at the ground.

"Hey Gaara can I ask you something…kinda personal?" The blonde finally says after a while. However the statement bothered me. Since when has he ask permission to butt into my private life? After all he seems to want to know about my summer vacation, and its obvious that I don't want to tell him, however it did not stop him from asking me once again the day before. I figured he's going to ask the same question, I give no answer.

"Um..Gaara have you ever had a girlfriend or like…what I'm trying to ask is, what you do you think of relationships? I mean you don't' honestly want to spend your whole life alone, right?" He asks eyes looking directly into mine. I was taken aback a little bit. I never really think much on the topic. I suppose I don't like to think of my own human sexuality, mainly because I know I would be considered odd. My strange liking for violence and blood, would not be seen as normal. Sadistic masochistic, I don't know which I am, mainly because I never took the time to really figure myself out. Sexuality is sometimes very difficult to figure out for some teens. I think of myself as somewhat asexual, seeing as I really don't like to think of myself with neither man nor women. But maybe this is because I've never really though of it. I always think of myself as alone, and I never really minded the idea. I seemed a peaceful dream, something I could be satisfied with. Naruto had said the last part so dramatically though. Do I honestly want to spend my whole life alone? I have no idea, but it doesn't' scare me, the thought of being alone. Then again I sort of feel like I'm lying a little. I've never been wanted by some one, so I sort of expect that no one would want to spend their life with me. I've always isolated people, I even said I didn't need friends. Yet here is Naruto next to me, and having a friend isn't' so bad. Maybe having a life partner wouldn't be either.

"I don't really know how I feel about them. I suppose I don't really care, their not so important," I tell the blonde, after running threw my thoughts and how to best articulate them. Naruto was looking at me with his mouth wide open as if he didn't at all expect me to say that.

"You really are weird Gaara," he chuckles out.

I say nothing in return. Naruto goes into talking rather loudly, like he usually does. The familiarity somewhat comforting, so much so I actually decide to somewhat listen to the blonde. The topic is still relationships.

"I wouldn't want to be alone. I like to be around people. But I guess you already know that," he laughs out. "I think relationships are important. I mean it's nice to think about having some one that in a ways belongs to you, ya know? I mean some one who you can make happy and protect, and they can protect you and shit. Some one you tell things to that you wouldn't tell anyone else. I guess it's kinda like having a best friend, except different. Cause well the whole sex thing and all," he goes on, eventually changing the topic to video games amazingly enough, some how he was able to perfectly flow from one topic to the other. Even though they really had nothing to do with one another. It's then that I start to just listen to the constant beat of his voice rather then the words being spoken. I close my eyes and simply relax, trying not to think or even move, just be at peace. A tiredness came over me seeing as this whole week I haven't been sleeping. A loud rumbling causes my eyes to open and look at the sky, which has only gotten darker then it was earlier. It wasn't soon after that, large raindrops fell from the sky. Naruto stop his talking and reached out his hand to feel the rain, then he looked over to me.

"Are you gonna stay out here?" He asks and I don't answer. The rain doesn't bother me, and for a while I sit with the blonde in quiet.

"What are you gonna be doing tomorrow?" The boy asks me.

"Finishing my project," I say mater of fact.

"Cool guess I'll see you here tomorrow. The rains starting to bother me," the blonde says with somewhat of a stutter to his voice. I watch him get up to his feet. Two rather gothic looking boys start to come towards use just as Naruto makes his leave, they bump shoulders with him purposely and laughs when Naruto almost stumbles. The blonde just yells 'fuck you' with that attitude of his that he possesses. I watch on wondering why they had decided to do something so meaningless, and childish. They both wore tight pants, and had strange wild colored hair. They walked towards me with their head high, and one glanced back at Naruto who was walking towards the door. Finally they stop in front of me. I haven't been bothered by these types of people for a long time. They always seem to think that I'm one of them just by the way I dress. Many like them have tried to talk to me, relate to me. Though I've never scared them off so easily like the others, I did eventually get rid of the small gothic crowds that would bother me. Really Naruto was the most persistent, and therefore he's earned his right to stay. He doesn't seem to stereotype me either. He simply comes and talks to me, continuing to do so even when I say nothing back, with a friendly air all about him.

"Hey Gaara," one finally spoke, and it didn't surprise me that they knew my name. When I say nothing back he got somewhat frustrated and his friend took over.

"We've seen you talking to that little blonde boy, I mean you two don't really have anything in common. Why not make some friends that you can relate to."

"We think you're so cool, you're art is breath taking. Why not join the art club or something, I mean you're in advanced art." They talk on and their judging of me and my interests annoy me. They assume they know me, and it's irritation, but they continue to talk.

" Leave," I command plain and simple but this did not sit well with them.

"Is that blonde idiot really more interesting then us?" One says with a voice of annoyance. The other put his hands on his hips.

"If you like to hang out with him so much maybe those rumors from last year are true. He your boyfriend or something?" The other asks. I say nothing, I don't even recalling having heard such a thing be said about us. I recall that occasional people would give us looks as they past the courtyard, and that one confrontation. But they were really just poking fun at me more then Naruto. After staring at me as if I would actually give them some sort of come back or answer, the two boys leave. I run my hand threw my moist hair, and look at the dorm door, and see that Naruto was still outside. It could have just been my imagination but I highly doubt it, because the boy visibly jumped when my eyes landed on him and he scrambled inside. How odd….

**Naruto's POV**

I have no idea why I'm running up to my dorm, it's not like Gaara will be running after me. But it felt like I should make up for lost time. I couldn't help but stop when I saw those two boys go up to gaara, I couldn't hear what they were saying but I'm sure they weren't' friends of Gaara. They seemed even a little bit familiar. I open the door and find that Sasuke's talking on the phone. I try and be quiet so that I don't interrupt his phone call. But he promptly sees me enter the room and tells the person on the other end that he doesn't want to speak anymore and hangs up.

"Sorry didn't mean to interrupt anything," I tell him, and he glares at me.

"I though you'd still be out talking to gaara, you don't' usually come back inside until a least seven or so," he tells me. I give him a worried look, he was being rude like that because he's trying to hide something.

"Who were you talking to?"

"A friend," he snaps back rather quickly. I back off knowing better and just go to the window to see if Gaara still sat outside, and indeed he did. I watched to see if anymore people would try and talk to him. I have to admit I felt jealous. I mean I'm the only one who can talk to Gaara…I know he can talk to who ever he wants to but…I just feel special being the only one. Like I was something important to him, even if he doesn't like me the way I like him. But I'm sure that those guys weren't a pair of his friends, they didn't talk for long. I just know they weren't anything important even if I couldn't hear what they were saying. I watch Gaara from afar for a little while longer. I'm glade I can only see him a little bit. When I was close to him, sitting next to him in that rain…he was so handsome. The rain really suits him. The way his hair still spiked up just a little bit even though it was wet, and the way his black eye make up would run just a little. He would never wipe on it. I think back to the other times I've seen him in the rain…really he's so elegant in the rain. The way he just ignores the water. Just letting it fall, not letting it bother him. I wonder if he knows how pretty he really is, I wonder if him making himself bleed is a sign of low self esteem?

The next day Kiba and me go to the arcade, I really have nothing better to do until this evening. Being around Kiba kept my mind off of Gaara, and my good friend was none the wiser about my little crush. See if I can keep a secret from Kiba then I sure as hell won't slip up with Gaara. I think back to what he had said he thought about relationships. I don' know if I should really believe that. Then again his words had really filled me with hope. I mean yeah on one hand it sounded like he doesn't want to be in any relationship what so ever, but on the other—and maybe it's just my mind coming up with fantasies—it sounded like he wasn't sure about his sexuality. Because he said he didn't know how he felt about them. I smile happily with that thought in mind.

"What are you grinning about I just kicked your ass," Kiba piped in.

"Oh…" is all I manage to say as I look at the video screen which reads winner.

"Man you're out of it today. Come on get your head in the game," he says.

"Don't worry this time I won't let you win," I tell him and we start another match.

**Gaara's POV**

The rainy night had done nothing to lull me to sleep. I had stayed up all night, thinking about the blonde nymph, no real surprise there. He occupies my mind mostly when I have a sleepless night. I really believe I'm starting to get use to him. Or so I had told myself last night. I walk out of my dorm with camera in hand. I wanted at least two more pictures, but honestly I had no idea what I should capture.

As I was aimlessly walking around a thought from last night reappeared, to be contemplated yet again. It hadn't phased me when it had happened but now I find myself wondering why had Naruto asked me about relationships? I had told myself last night that it must be another topic that friends talk about. Honestly I had no idea, but still somehow I felt uncomfortable. Why would the boy ask me such a thing? If he wanted relationship advice he should go to one of his other friends. I have no experience with that topic. Possibly he had met someone over the summer or something. It most likely is just one of those things friends talk about. I suppose I have to get use to a lot of strange topics. Though I prefer it when Naruto just speaks to himself, I've really gotten use to engaging him in conversation. It's almost….yes I've admitted to it before I'm attached I'm his friend aren't I? Am I helping in my own downfall? If I get use to speaking to him won't that lead to me opening up more? I don't wish for him to know much about me. I don't' like for people to pry into my personal business. I shrug as I halt in front of the art room. I'll have to deal with problems once they come into being, I suppose. After all I can't very well get rid of the boy now, it's too difficult.

I look at the art room and feel as though my hands wish to move in their more familiar creation of art. Deciding there's always tomorrow I trot back to my room to put the camera away and relax with a pencil in hand. I slowly and mindlessly start to sketch in my note pad. My brother wasn't in the room at the moment. While I was sketching I was trying to think of what I could possibly take a picture of tomorrow. By tomorrow I had to have everything done. I feel content as I just simply sketch, it's such a better form of art in my opinion. But I joined photography in hopes of something different, broaden my horizon. I went threw about five pages of my sketchbook. Having taken the time to draw and shade my pictures in, they were only doodles really but that's usually how I spend my time. I was surprised to hear a knock on my door. I hadn't gotten up right away, and that caused the knock to only come again though more frantic. Along with it came a call of my name. I get off my bed and open the door to see panicked blue eyes. I return them only a dull look. I get pushed aside as the blonde looks past me into my room and then looks at my hands.

"Damn man you scared the shit out of me! Why aren't you at the courtyard, it's five thirty!" I give no answer just go back to my bed to put away the notepad. I hadn't realized how long I had stayed locked up in my room. Naruto comes in as well and sits on my brother's bed. "So you finish up your project thingy?" I shook my head as an answer. It was odd to have the boy in my room seated so comfortable ready to talk just as we do out in the courtyard. This just seemed too much like an outdoor activity. I sit on my own bed as Naruto grins.

"If you would have come with me and Kiba you would have had plenty of stuff to take pictures of. It's funny how some people can get so worked up over video games," The boy chuckles. I simply stare at my black sheets, waiting for him to go on, tell me about his day as he always does. "So me and my friend Kiba were playing against each other and this guy next to use was play this shooting game about zombies…." He goes on but I start to simply listen to the beat of his voice rather then the words spoken. As the boy goes on I think about my photography project still. Ideals and favorite things.

"He should just have accepted that he lost," I hear my muse say and then I thought comes to me. I get up and got to my night stand. "Yo, what's up?" He asked most likely wondering why I got up in the middle of his talking, and am now rummaging threw drawers.

I really didn't want to explain myself as I handed the boy some paint, but he doesn't have the ability to read my mind so I had no other choice. I unscrew the top of the paint tube which held pure eggshell white. "Be my model," I say simply. His eyes widen and I could have sworn I saw his slightly tanned cheeks turn a light shade of red. I didn't question it, I simply put the paint on his skin. "Do exactly as I say. You can't have this on your skin for long, it doesn't let your skin breath and you could get sick," I tell him and he only gives me a nod. Seeing as I had no make up other then my eye make up I had to use my paint on the boy. Though I did out line his eyes with eyeliner in an attempt to make them appear smaller, and I put heavy lines under his eyes to make him look sickly. I ignored his strange behavior like the way he would stare at me, or lean into my touch when I applied paint.

"Come with me," I tell him heading to my door.

"You expect me to walk out looking like this!" he yells but I just make my way to the bathroom while he follows mumbling something under his breath. I take him to a sink and he looks at himself in the mirror and laughs a little bit. His laugh was interrupted as I splashed water on his face.

'What was that for!" He yells getting the attention of the few boys that were around.

"To make the eyeliner run," I say concentrating on taking my wet fingers and helping the black smudge. I escort the boy back to my room on the way some others passed us giving us stares, which didn't phase me.

"Lay on my bed," I say getting out my camera. The boy hesitantly obeyed, and I see now why friends can be so useful. I wouldn't be able to take this picture of myself. The last touch is red paint as I draw a line from his mouth to his chine, taking time to make it look like blood. My photography should just be like my art. The acceptance of death and pain, sadness, and moving beyond that, but also living with it, for those are my ideals.

"I want you to look directly into the camera, but make your eyes unfocused," I tell him bring the camera up into a picture taking possession, as I zoom in on the boys face. He only gives me a nod, and stares at the camera, making his eyes appear dead, yet glittering with some life, some sort of energy. I snap the picture and take one more just in case. With only having a close up on his face and him resting against my black sheets it is mainly going to be a black and white picture with only red, blue and blonde as visible colors. I take out a cloth from my art supply and hand it to him. "I'll bring in a bowl of water so you can clean up properly," I say leaving the room.

**Naruto's POV**

I take the cloth and wipe it over my face attempting to take some of the paint off. It didn't help and the paint really felt weird on my skin. But not as weird as having Gaara touch me, put that paint on me. My hearts going crazy and all I can think of is that dream I had over the summer. The only words running threw my head being, _"you'll be my canvas". _God, I was exactly that just now. I feel so…I don't know how to explain it, but when I heard him ask if I would be his model my heart had stopped for a whole minute. I'm sure I was hardly even breathing when he was putting that paint on me. My eyes widen is fear, did he notice my strange behavior?

The door opens and Gaara sets down a bowl of water. I dip the painted stained cloth in the bowl and start to clean my face. We sat there in silence. It was making me feel uneasy but Gaara seemed fine with the lack of sound. I wonder what he's thinking now. I'm sure that all the paints off my face and then I force a smile on my face even though I feel so uncomfortable, embarrassed and afraid. There was no thank you given to me by gaara at all, but I finally notice that the redhead wishes to hear my voice.

"Well that was random, but whatever, I guess my beauty should be shared," I say grinning, hiding behind a mask, a task I'm use to doing. "Of course you know I wanna see the pictures of me you took once you get them back from the teacher and everything." Gaara says nothing only gives me a slight nod I almost didn't notice. "So what did you do all day. I mean obviously you didn't just go out looking for Kodak moments, seeing as you were in your room."

"I was drawing," he mumbles. My smile becomes slightly more real as my fear and nervousness faded. Obviously Gaara didn't' seem to notice my strange behavior or thought nothing of it, because he's still acting like his same old self.

"Oh, can I see?' I ask excited, the redhead only gives me a blank look. But he does pull out the notepad that I remember seeing him put away earlier. I sorta felt like I should get away from him as soon as possible, because I still feel so embarrassed, and I'm afraid I'd slip up some how. But I ignore that feeling, the other emotion of wanting to be around Gaara as much as possible is overpowering. I take the sketch pad and start from the beginning. I wonder to myself how many sketch pads he owns. I flip threw the pictures slowly, finding the violence and sadness they show strangely fascinating. There was a picture of women crying over a gravestone, while her wrist bled. Even a picture of an angel, though it seemed to be screaming up at Haven, and black feathers were flying all around it. Then there was a picture of a little boy with strange eyes, because they were broken in the middle and a twinkle sparkled in the left corner. It had wild hair and pointed ears, as he just smiles at you with his head resting on his arm. All the sketches were great, and I tell Gaara this once I finish, and hand back the pad. He says nothing in response, so I just go on talking, into the late hours. I didn't leave the room until the door opened. Small eyes that were lined with make up that resembled Gaara looked at me. This must be his brother.

"Gaara this a friend or something?" My redhead doesn't respond, but just as I was about to say yes the boy spoke again. "Well what a miracle you actually found someone that doesn't' think you're a complete weirdo. Hey kid get the fuck out, I'm gonna sleep and I don't want anyone in the dorm," he tells me jerking a finger in the direction of the door. I roll my eyes at him, what an annoying jackass!

"See ya tomorrow gaara," I tell my friend with a wave before leaving. I step outside the door and he halls were really quiet, I go to mine and Sasuke's room. The room was dark once I entered. I saw Sasuke's silhouette outlined, and he was laying on his side, facing me. His eyes cracked open.

"Naruto?" He questions in a sleepy voice.

"Yup," I say rather loudly, and sasuke didn't appreciate the noise. He rolls over and tries to go back to sleep. I smile and get ready to catch some sleep myself.

A/N: There how's that for a long chapter? You're lucky I didn't find a good cut of point.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16: Hold it back

**Naruto's POV**

Sunday morning and I'm sitting on my bed just looking out the window, trying hard to forget the dream I just had. There's no surprise when I say the dream had Gaara in it. I'm getting worse. I tried hard on Monday and Tuesday not to look suspicious but I started to second guess my behavior, isn't that exactly what Sasuke told me not to do? I didn't show up in the courtyard after that, rather I watch from my window. The red head hasn't been staying outside to long, it makes my heart hurt. Am I disappointing him…or worse am I making him withdraw back into his shell by not coming out to talk to him? But it's best for both of us, if I sit there with him I just know it's gonna be awkward. It's getting harder and harder for me to hide my feelings. In all honesty I just want to shout my feelings out on the top of my lungs. But I'm so god damn afraid.

"Naruto?" I jump and turn to see Sasuke behind me. "You've been so quiet the last passed four days," he says thoughtfully. I say nothing and just look out the window at the empty morning courtyard. "It's about him isn't it?" My friend says letting out a sigh. I let my head nod in response, Sasuke comes to stand in front of me.

"You know him better then I do Naruto. What do you think?"

"What do you mean?"

"You're obviously not that strong—"

"I'm plenty strong!" I yell no liking his word choice.

"Not when it comes to emotions Naruto. You've always been a slave to your emotions," He says.

"It's getting harder ya know. I just don't want to slip up and risk losing him even as a friend," I mumble and Sasuke gives me a nod.

"I don't know what to tell you other then ignoring your feelings, at least until you're sure you might have a chance with him. No need to embarrass yourself. But like I said you know him better then I do," Sasuke says walking toward the door to leave me alone with my thoughts. I don't think I can do that. I don't think I can hold it back anymore. I just want to see him happy, I want to make him happy, I want him to make me happy. He reminds me so much of my past self…maybe that's why I fell in love.

What is it that's made him distrust people so much, made him so isolated and alone? Why won't he get over whatever it is? Why doesn't he ever smile? I think back on the loneliness and sadness I use to hold in my heart. I never stopped smiling though…it would be so nice just to see the redhead smile once, laugh, just come out of his shell completely.

I let out a sigh telling myself there's no use in wondering and wishing. He's not going to tell me about himself. I just hate to see other people be sad, or be out caste just because they've been judged before anyone ever gave them a chance. That's what Gaara is, he's an outcast who has been judge by everyone in this school. I just don't want him to be alone, because I never wanted to be alone. I still don't want to be alone, and it seems the only future I think about is one with him in it. Really it is damn stupid of me, why did this have to happen? Why did a simple little interest in him turn into a crush, and then why did that crush turn into what I'm feeling now? Complete devotion…

I get up and get some cloths together deciding it would be nice to take a shower. Once in the shower I let myself relax and stop thinking. If not completely then at least stop thinking about my redhead. I let the water wash over me and then I wipe my hands over my face. A smile appears once my hands slide down my face. That's better no need to be thinking about depressing things.

Once my shower is finished and I'm all ready to face the day I feel energetic and happy. It's at that time that I see at he mirror a head of damp red hair. I tense a little, as I watch the boy run a comb threw his spikes lightly. I couldn't sop looking, but I'm interrupted when a group of boys push me into a wall.

"Staring at people isn't polite," one teases, tossing his head so that his long brown bangs move out of his face.

"Get off me, not any of your business what I'm staring at," I growl out, really not in the mood with dealing with these jackasses.

"It's our business all right, we don't need any little fags gawking at us," the boy says pushing me harder against the wall.

"Yeah I heard that you and that little witch were doing something odd in his room," The other boy who had black hair finally speaks.

"Fuck off," I spit out.

"We don't want your type here. We catch you checking anyone out fag, and you lose an eye," With that the boy uses me to push himself off the wall, causing me to lose the ability to breath for a moment. I glare at the boys who just walk pass the mirror where Gaara was earlier. What the fuck gave them the idea that I was gay, anyway? I mean maybe I am, but I'm not obvious about it, seeing as I only have eyes for Gaara. I walk out of the bathroom wondering if maybe I should go to the courtyard today. I mean I really don't' want Gaara to start thinking I just ditched him. With a nod of my head I tell myself that I'll suck it up and go see Gaara today. I was so excited that I went to the courtyard right away to see if maybe he went out there for a morning session. Sometimes he does that after all.

**Gaara's POV**

The shower this morning had felt good, though the bathroom seemed louder then usual. I don't understand why people just can't take a shower in quiet, instead they take time to mingle and such, and they dare call me homosexual. Honestly the rumors about me and the blonde don't bother me because I find it absurd that just because I let him keep me company it automatically mean I have feelings for him. These rumors most likely sprang from people that are jealous of Naruto, and his ability to be tolerated by me. Because they couldn't explain why I disliked them so much and let the persistent and sometimes annoying blonde stay by my side, they simple came up with a reason that they think would be insulting.

I'm not insulted by it, like I've said sexuality is something hard to figure out, and I've never thought much of it. I could careless if I were called gay or straight because in all honesty I do not know myself. Neither gender really interests me, at least not in a sexual way. I've never though of myself in a sexual way. But being gay does not make you sick or disgusting, so I don't see it as and insult. Being a homosexual is just another normal human feeling, not only limited to humans but also a species of all female lizards have the same tendency. I may indulge in reading the Karan and Bible, but never have I though homosexuality to be a sin. Let others live in the way they are comfortable. What's the use of forcing some one into something that is not within their comfort zone? All in all I find these rumors to be immature.

I walk down to the courtyard, to sit and relax in the silence I'm not to fond of, but I don't want to spend my morning in doors. The nymph hasn't come at all, I suppose he on the other hand isn't very comfortable with the rumors. I don't care either way, like I said before I do not expect anything from him. Though I must say it's strange going back to the way things were, only because it seems so stagnant. But still I don't really care, if Naruto doesn't want to keep me company anymore or at least not for the moment because of what others are saying, it's none of my business. He can do what he wants. It's at this time that I hear shy footsteps come towards me, and a familiar voice greet me.

"Mind if I sit?" The blonde questions, in a quiet tone, not at all suiting him. I say nothing in response, though he's welcome to sit with me: and he does.

"Sorry I haven't been around," he says leaning back a little on his hands. When I say nothing he seems to fidget a little. "You angry?"

"No," I say calmly because I'm not. He's not obligated to come spend time with me everyday. The boy smiles at me, and I catch the gesture from the corner of my eye.

"We should go and do something anything, so I can make it p to you," He says with a smile upon his face.

"No need for that," I mumble.

"No really, I mean I just stopped coming with out even a warning. Is there anything happening on campus?" He asks me, but I say nothing, mainly because I don't believe anything is happening. "I don't think so…I wonder if the pools open. I could give you another swimming lesson. But I guess at this time there would be a whole lot of other people." The blonde stops to think. "What would you like to do?" I simply give a light shrug.

"Do you have any money?" He asks me, and I had to think. It's rare when I receive money from home, but occasionally Temari would convince our father to put in a little extra money in the envelope that went to Kankuro for me. Kankuro, would sometimes when in a good mood split it even, by giving me twenty dollars, other times I'd be given only five. Usually I save that money, and buy art supplies. The last time I had stepped out of the school gate was at the beginning of last year to buy more paints. But even then I only walked a little ways down the street to a locally owned, and very small and humble art shop. I just don't like to be around big crows or in big busy stores or shopping malls. I just don't like to go outside this school, unless it's necessary, I don't like to be around people if not necessary. But yeah actually I do have some money stashed away.

" I have some," I say.

"Then come on, lets go shopping, we don't have to go to the mall, but we can go to the near by Plaza," the blonde suggest with a hopeful look in his eyes. I wanted to say no, after all a plaza is just an outdoor mall. But it's not as crowded and full of idiots there. Still I don't need to buy anything.

The boy waited for me to answer and my mouth began to from the word no, but somehow "OK," was said.

"Yes, finally," The boy jumps up. "Well go get your money, I got to get mine to. Meet you back here in a bit, and then we'll head out," with that the boy happily runs towards his dorm. I get up slowly in no hurry, wondering how it was that the opposite of what I was thinking was spoken.

When I enter my room, a take out a small bag of mine, I believe others call it an "emo' bag or something like that. It's almost exactly like my school bag except smaller and in a sand color, but it had the same hour glass patch on it as my gray school bag has. I wouldn't be surprises if someone called it a purse, and that me having this low hanging bag would only fuel the rumors. But I could careless, I bring specific things with me when I go out. Such as a sketch book, a pencil pouch holding one graphite pencil, a red pen, a blue pin, and a charcoal pencil. It's happened before that something's caught my eye and I make a quick sketch of it, or occasionally I'll write down painting ideas that have come to me. Along with those items there's a pocket knife, and of course my wallet. It's not like I believe I honestly will ever have to use the pocketknife, it's just out of habit that I bring it with me. Seeing as I keep it in the bag, and have never once taken it out. I believe Temari had given it to me, I can't be sure, but I know it was a present given to me by someone. I wear the bag in an odd way but it's comfortable, and makes it look less like a purse. I sling it over my head so that the strap comes over my chest, and then I turn it so that the bag hangs over my backside. That way it doesn't annoy me by hanging at my side, and if I want to get something out I can easily pull the bag up front.

Once I reenter the courtyard, the blonde is standing in wait with a grin plastered upon his face. "You ready then?" He asks me this time not expecting an answer, and we start to head to the plaza. On the rather long walk there, the blonde keep himself busy by giving me the noise I've grown use to. Eventually we reach the plaza, and to my relief there were not so many people walking around the open shopping mall.

"Ok anywhere you'd like to go first?" Naruto asks me. I say nothing, and I hear a sigh from the boy. "Ok then I need a new shirt, and pair of pants," the boy says trying to locate the cloths store he's looking for. His face lightens up once he spots it, and he waves his hand to tell me to follow.

Inside the store there was a mixture of male and female cloths, along with some jewelry, and shoes.

**Naruto's POV**

I was so glade that Gaara actually came here with me. Maybe it was stupid of me, with the way I feel just ready to burst: it's dangerous hanging out with him like this. If only those rumors others are spreading were true, then Gaara would already be my boyfriend. I look through some of the T-shirts on the rack, while Gaara wonders around near by, not too far away from my side. It almost made me smile. I felt as though he didn't want to be to distant from me. I pick up a black shirt with a large orange maple leaf around the upper right shoulder and chest. Fancy writing across the shirt read, fall. Plain simple, and that's what I like. I look at the shirts size, and when I saw it was a medium, I was positive it would fit. I like to avoid trying on cloths if necessary, medium fits me find and I know it does. Looking over at Gaara, who was slowly starting to walk back to me, I wonder what size he wears. He looks slimmer then me. I find myself admiring him a little, before he comes to a stop in font of me, and I tell him I still need a pair of pants. The pants I picked out were an orange version of those army looking pants, a lot of boys liked to wear. Gaara gave me an odd look.

"What?" I question as I set down the items I'm going to buy.

"There are other colors in the world, other then orange," he says.

"Yeah I know, but I like to walk around in Halloween colors year round, haven't you noticed," I say jokingly with a wide grin. The red head doesn't' say anything in return, and I pay for my cloths. Gaara actually wears a variety of colors. He wears deep violets, burgundy, light gray dark gray, black, and sometimes a sort of sandy cream color. Actually today he's wearing ankle high black boots, with gray pants that only reach down about three inches above wear his shoe stop. And then also a burgundy shirt, with a picture of a pyramid and snake on it, with a light gray fishnet undershirt. He looks so nice actually, and the more that I think about it, he does look very slim, but not so slim that it looks sickly.

The sound of a door being opened brings me out of my thoughts. The red head walking into a book store, giving me a glance, so that I know I should follow. Book stores aren't my favorite places to be, but I tag along behind the red head as he wonders around different sections eventually picking up one book. I glance over his shoulder, to see what it is.

"The Inferno," I say in a questioning tone.

"Yes," is all the answer my crush gives me before taking the book to the cashier.

"I wanna see, what's it about," I say making a grab at the book Gaara is now putting into his bag.

"Hell," he says plainly, and I don't' ask anymore. I'm not big on novels anyway, but at least I know a little bit more about Gaara's taste I suppose.

"Anywhere else you'd like to go?" I question my friend, he only shake his head no. "Mmm, well we can always get some ice-cream. They have a pallor here," I suggest.

"I don't have much of a sweet tooth," he tells me.

"You know that doesn't surprise me. I guess we could go back for now, I got all my shopping done for the day," I say happily and my crush doesn't respond. A question came to mind when we were walking, I thought it would help me to see if I have a chance with Gaara. I know I might just sound suspicious, but I don't think he hasn't noticed what people have been saying about us.

"Hey…um…what do you think about those rumors people are spreading about us?" I ask him not having the guts to look him in the eye, but I could tell he was looking at me.

"I think a lot of people just like to talk," he answers me in a monotone voice.

"They don't bother you?" I ask shyly.

"I could careless," he says calmly, his eyes studying me. I can tell because I've summoned up the courage to lift my head.

"They…they don't bother me either," I say feeling a little stupid. But I didn't know what else to say with the way he was looking at me it's as if he expected me to say something. Either way my redhead fell silent and simply looked ahead of him, and I went on to talk about something, to try and get my mind off of the feelings I have for him. Try and act normal, but that's becoming so hard. He said the rumors don't bother him, what does that mean? He's so hard to read, and I really just want to tell him how I feel but I'm so scared. When we enter the school a flyer catches my eye and I go to it. Gaara looks over my shoulder to see what it is that I'm looking at.

"Looks like the schools having a talent show two months from now. Kinda early to advertise but whatever," I say with a smile.

"Why not enter," the emotionless voice of my crush suggests from behind me.

"Oh please, I ain't good enough for a talent show," I say with a nervous laugh. I feel flattered actually, I had sung for Gaara, does he really think I'm that good?

"You wanted to know if you have a talent, if they like you then you'll be sure of it," he says simply.

"Maybe…I don't know I don't want to get booed off the stage." Gaara simply turns to walk to the door that leads to the dorms. I smile and follow him. We part once he gets to his dorm room, I felt so happy. I actually got Gaara to go off campus for once, even if it was just for a short while. Sasuke was in the room reading a book.

"Where'd you go?" He questions casually.

"Just to the plaza with Gaara," I state in a sing song voice.

"Did you tell him…how you feel?"

"No, why do you ask?"

"Just because you seem so happy, that's all," he shrugs and goes back to reading.

I let out a sigh, and my mouth just went off. "I really want to tell him you know. The rumors don't bother him…you think I have a chance?" I ask, really I've been seeking advice and some sort of guidance from my friend.

"Naruto you got to make this decision all on your own. Like I said this morning you know him better then I do. I just think…he's not the type that would treat you right Naruto," he tells me. I nod, respecting his opinion, instead of back firing. I lay back and try to think. I don't think I can go on like this. Keep on pretending like I just think of him as a friend. Those rumors...they bother me, I lied. They bother me because I wish for them to be true. I wish Gaara and me were boyfriends, that would be so nice, it'd be a dream come true. I wouldn't' have to keep any secrets, he would maybe even open up to me more, knowing that I love him. I could make him happier…I just know I could. The only thing holding me back from this though, is the crippling fear that if I say anything, I won't only be rejected but he would stop hanging out with me. I don't want to leave Gaara; there's no one else he's let so close. He has no other friends, I just don't' want to lose the boy. All I think about is how I caught him bleeding last year. I want to help him, I wonder if there's something wrong with him. I just don't' want to damage him anymore then he already is. But…if I tell how I feel, that could also help. It could heal him in away, he'll know he won't be alone, ever. I would never leave him to be alone, and isolated. I wonder if he knows that now? I can do the same thing for him by just being his friend..but I don't' want to just be his friend. I want to be the person that he can always turn to the one he can seek comfort with, I want to be his boyfriend. But I'm still afraid.

**Gaara's POV**

It truly wasn't so bad spending the day with the little nymph. Though he seems to be affected by the rumors no matter what he says. It was still rather early and I don't know if I'll be able to sleep tonight. Sleep still hasn't come to me, but it's not noticeable in the way I act. I take out a large piece of paper, feeling like I should start on a painting. I haven't done anything but sketch, except of course my art projects. But an independent painting I haven't done in a long time. I can't think of anything, and I sit in front of the blank paper. My brother comes in and gives me a glance, before taking out his Ipod and going off into his own world. His perchance did bother me. I wont' be able to paint tonight, with him around. But I suppose I shouldn't be complaining seeing as I don't' even have as much as a sketch to paint over. I shut my eyes to try and think of something breathe taking, to start work on. All that came to mind was blue eyes and blonde hair. It doesn't surprise me anymore really, seeing the nymph when I try to be artistic. I think back to how he was rather shy on the way back here. It was because I'm sure the topic was uncomfortable for him. I don't' care if I'm called gay, it doesn't effect me, because the people who call me this hardly know me. But many boys don't like to be called such, taking it as an insult. Naruto is obviously not comfortable with it, so much so that he would keep his distance from me. Oh, his behavior is so strange, three days of distance and then he spends the whole day with me. Maybe he's trying not to let what others say bother him, I'm sure he'll get over it. Either way when he ask my opinion on the rumors he hadn't looked at me.

I don't care, he can do what he wants. I don't expect him to keep me company always, so he doesn't need to be around me constantly, and there's no need for apology. I'm fine without him. Then it comes to me. The earlier question about what I thought about relationships. I wonder does he honestly believe those rumors, therefore asked me that question to see how I would answer? I visibly shrug, not really caring. If the boys uncomfortable around me it wouldn't' be a surprise. The only thing that is surprising is that he still hangs around me, and that he's tried harder then others to become a friend of mine. I somehow doubt the nymph will leave simply because of those rumors. After all rumors have never stopped him before. Either way I can tell that the topic does distress him somehow.

I pick up my pencil, and start to lightly sketch, not really having anything in mind. Yet my hand worked on it's on, and seemed to know what it wanted.

My brother shuffles in his sleep, and finally with the rustling of those sheets I finish my out line. The former blank paper held two forms. One being a girl with long pigtail and her hands rested on her chest. Her eyes were closed but her mouth hung open. She wore a white dress, which was rather short and looked like a small doll's outfit. She had a full figure, and would be seen as beautiful if she were real. Next to her a male counter part. Or rather she is the female counter part of the male. The male was the spiting image of my muse. His eyes open but mouth closed, his hand did not rest on his chest but rather his stomach. He wore an old time night shirt, which was the same length as the girl's dress. The two's heads were connected and they looked like Siamese Twins. I put the paper away not wanting to paint it until tomorrow.

I was not at all tired, but I sat on my bed as if the softens would lull me to sleep. Actually it didn't help at all, I only felt restless. So much so that I exited the room. I walked out into the courtyard, it was completely quite, and the gate was securely locked with a guard on duty. No one would be coming in or going out. The flowers were dull and everything seemed to be sleepy and peaceful. Why can't I catch some of that peace and have sleep? Well I suppose insomnia as no logic. I've had episodes like this before, and there's no point in asking such a stupid question. The night air was cool and refreshing.

**Naruto's POV**

_Green eyes held blue make up instead of their usual black. It really brought out the color of his red hair, and made his eyes more piercing. His cloths were baggy and over sized, and held kimono like patterns. When I look down I see that I'm wearing plain white cloths. We were both standing in an empty room, that was all red._

_Finger touches my plain white shirt and small pictures appear to match his kimono pattern, except min was all red, while his held blue and mint colors. I felt his finger runs over my chest, threw the material, and I almost whimpered when he brushed over a nipple._

"_Let us create some more rumors," he whispers to me, while licking my ear, and I magically find myself on a soft bed. He kisses me, but the playfulness of our tongues is no distraction, when his hand reaches down passing my waist band. I moan, our kiss muffing the sound a little. He touches me, and I swear I could feel it, and it was so great. Our lips parted and he busied himself not only with the movement of his hand but also with my neck. He starts to gently suck on a vein, and nothing muffled the noise I made this time. It was blissful…_

"Is this real…?" My eyes snap open and I realize that it was just a dream. The hand that felt oh so real was my own, and it wasn't exactly dry. "Damn." I whisper. I slip out of my boxers and wipe my hands on the it while I get another pair, and then head to the bathroom, to properly wash my hands, and clean off my boxers. I was so glade there was no one else there. I clean off my hands and boxers the best I could. But I still slip my boxer into the laundry basket the held Sasuke's and mine room number, to make sure it gets clean. I look at the clock on the wall over by the showers. It told me it was one thirty a.m.

I walk out of the bathrooms and head back to my room. I was happy to see that I hadn't woken Sasuke up at all. I yawn and stretch, now that I'm awake it's gonna take forever for me to fall back asleep. I glance out the window—I hadn't closed the curtains last evening. I rub my eyes, to be sure I'm seeing correctly. Gaara sat out in the courtyard. He should be sleeping.

I glance at Sasuke to make sure he doesn't' wake up and then head down to the courtyard. Maybe it's not a very smart thing to do seeing as I just had a dream about the boy. But I was a little worried, he should really be sleeping, we have class tomorrow.

The redhead looks up when he hears my footsteps. "What are you doing here," he mumbles.

I notice he's not wearing any pajamas but his normal cloths, "That's what I came here to ask you." He says nothing and I just sit down next to him. "Something bothering you? You should be asleep, we have class tomorrow."

"I don't need sleep," he tells me in a monotone voice.

"Yeah right, you do to. Everyone needs sleep. It's not good not to sleep, so go to bed, you're not even suppose to be out here," I tell him.

"I haven't slept ever since school started," he states.

"Are you serious?" I study him, and I know he's not kidding, Gaara never kids about anything. "That's not good, you should get some sleeping pills or something."

"They don't work," he tells me clearly.

"Well you can't just not ever sleep again!"

"It's all right, stop worrying," he says with an annoyed tone. But, you know I don't care if I'm annoying him, it's not healthy to not sleep.

"Come on, get back to your room and sleep some,' I try and get him to stand up but he doesn't budge.

"I've had these kinds of episodes before, so stop worrying. It's none of your concern," Gaara almost snaps at me.

"The hell it isn't my concern! I'm worried about your health! It's not good not to sleep, it's gonna hurt in the long run," I snap at him. He gives me this look that said quiet, because I was rather loud.

"Why do you always do that?" He asks me.

"Do what?" I say still pissed.

"You always concern yourself with my business. You feel sadness for me, and now this. Why do that?"

"Because, I care about you," I shut myself up before I slip. Did that sound gay? I hope he doesn't think I'm weird. "You're my friend," I add quickly. The boy looks at me oddly as if he doesn't believe me. I let myself smile. "I just want to know more about you, so you won't be so alone. I told you before I want to know why you isolate yourself, what happened to make you this way. I guess you're not so isolated now though, with me around. I don't think anyone wants to think about being alone," I say drifting off, into my memories shortly. But I come back to look at Gaara's eyes. The boy seems to be thinking about what I just said. I wonder if I've said too much.

**Gaara's POV**

There it is again that sadness that he hides. It's not healthy for me not to sleep, for me to be alone, and isolated? It's not healthy to try and hide your sadness, as if it never happened some days you just need to be sad, you can't always be happy. I don't' know what came over me, maybe the look in his eyes but I open my mouth to speak. "You're alone," I tell him.

His blue eyes look at me strangely, "What?"

"You are alone in your past, because you wont' except it. You smile, and only occasionally let yourself feel sad. You have to come to terms with your past disappointments, and misery," I say somewhat coldly.

"I don't' live in the past! I know I can't change anything, that's why I don't sit around and just looks sad all the time. What's done is done!" the boy yells now on the defensive because of the touchy subject.

"I do not smile to reassure to people that I'm all right, because I already am. I don't' need any comfort or concern. You smile to tell everyone you are all right, that you are afraid, but you're all right."

I feel hand on my shoulder in a crushing grip, and I look into blue eyes calmly. "I smile so that I can get over the fact that I'm hated by almost everyone on the planet for no reason!!" I look at him calmly and his eyes seem to hold a fire. "No matter where I go, I only have a few friends. I only have Sasuke Kiba Shino and you. Everyone else judges me, calls me an idiot that will never amount to anything. Find me annoying, or bad blooded! I only have one person who would care for me, my guardian. So don't tell me that I smile because I'm telling people I'm all right, because those damn people don't give a fuck!"

"Most people care for no one but themselves," I tell him softly

"I know," he says loosening his grip. "That's why there's no point in being sad about it."

"I'm not sad about how other act. I just have no reason to smile," I explain to him. I am content on my own, just because I don't smile doesn't' mean I'm not happy. I am content having this one friend, even if he is a very odd one. I'm happy when I draw, and work with paint, but I don't need to smile. A smile is just a way to communicate to others, and that's something I never really needed. Well I remember I use to smile, when I was younger. That was when I was communicating with my uncle, most children always smile. But sometimes you don't need it anymore, that doesn't mean you're not happy.

The blonde boys eyes look at me with sadness, and his hands slip down from my shoulders. It was an odd movement because they slid down my arms and rested on my hands. I felt a little uncomfortable with this—but also a little comforted for an odd reason—and Naruto's eyes looked away quickly before he moved his hands.

"Just try and get some sleep," he tells me and starts to walk away.

A/N: Another rather long chapter, but his one was by pure accident. So if you don't mind possibly helping me out dear readers. I want to write a Inuyasha Mpreg involving Sesshomaru as the main character and narrator, and I just can't decide what pairing I want to write about (Naraku is the father of the child, but I still haven't gotten a pairing). I don't know if I want to write a Sesshomaru Inuyasha pairing, or a Sesshomaru Miroku pairing. I think the Miroku pairing could serve for some laughs and some conflict and angst on Sesshomoru's side. While the InuSessho pairing I would have to analyze both Inuyasha and Sesshomaru, and I really don't want to do a two person point of view, but I could still get some of Inuyasha's thoughts if I really wanted to even if it is just in Sesshomaru's POV. The thing is I can't make up my mind. If any of my readers are Inuyasha fans could you help me make up my mind, Please?


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17:A flow of words that can break

**Naruto's POV**

The next day in my classes, everything went as normal. But I was still thinking about last night. Gaara's such a mystery…I wonder if he suspect something. I mean I held his hands! God I'm such and idiot. I'm in the last class of the day with Gaara sitting next to me. I tried to think of anything other then the red head. Of course this was hard when someone threw a paper ball at me, which had writing in it. It says, 'how was your late night meeting with your lover fag?' I toss the ball to the floor in anger. Great more rumors, how do they find all this stuff out? Do they stalk us or something? They don't seem to be picking on Gaara as much as they are on me. I think they still somewhat fear him. Man, how I wish Gaara was my lover. You know in a way Gaara kinda opened up to me last night. Even if it pissed me off. I'm not really mad at him or anything, I was just pissed off last night. I don't' hold it against him, it's hard for me to hold a grudge. I especial can't stay mad at Gaara, it's because he's so odd and I like him. I got the feeling that all that he said last night was not said to make me angry or try to get rid of me. There was some other reason I can't figure out, and I wonder if Gaara himself knows why he did what he did.

I'm really started to think that maybe I have a chance with the red head. I mean more then once I've somewhat slipped with my behavior, and he hasn't done or said anything. But then what would he do? Gaara isn't the type to just freak out, he'd stay calm. Maybe if I told him how I felt, he'd stay calm to? He thinks logically, yeah. I brighten up. If I tell him I can finally get it of my chest and get an answer. Gaara may feel uncomfortable but, he's smart; I don't' think he'll over react. Like he said he doesn't seem to care that people call him gay. Maybe homosexuality doesn't bother him, and if he doesn't' like me then we can still be friends. That or he'll be uncomfortable around me. After all this isn't like with Sasuke were I tell him I have a crush on someone else. He's the one I'm in love with, so…maybe he will react badly. But I want to give him a reason to smile. I want to make him happy, I've said that so many times. When am I gonna get up the courage to actually ask him?

Who would have ever thought that I would fall for the schools outcast? I just wanted him to be my friend, but it just seems I wanna go a step above that, now that I have his friendship. I let out a sight and tell myself, that I should do something. I should tell him, he's reasonable after all. If I get rejected oh well, at least I tried. Maybe I won't loose his friendship…hopefully I won't.

I didn't even notice the bell ring until Gaara gathered his things and got up from his seat. I hurry after him. He says nothing, but I plan to just sit in the courtyard and talk to him, while I think a few more things over. Who am I joking I got to make up my mind right now, I can't multitask like that! When we reach the courtyard, three boys were sitting were we usually sit, seemingly waiting for us. And Gaara didn't seem to be bothered by them but wanted to head to another spot on the flower bed to sit. I stop him.

"Hey Gaara lets go somewhere else."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't' want to be bothered with a bunch of ass wipes. You know their not going to leave us alone," I tell him.

"Whatever," he says in a mumble, and we walked passed them. One of the boys gets up and was about to say something but Gaara gives him a look and the boy sits back down. I almost laughed.

"Let's go to my dorm,' I suggest. While we walked I was making up my mind. I still held fear, but I want to tell him... I wonder if Sasuke's in the room. OK, ok, if Sasuke's in the room I wont' tell him, if he's not, then I will tell Gaara how I feel. I open my door taking a deep breath. I let it out in relief when I see my raven haird friend on his bed, opening up a text book. Sasuke looks up at me and lifted an eyebrow.

"Don't mind use," I say to him cheerfully. Gaara walks in behind me, without as much as looking at Sasuke. I don't' think he really likes my roommate. However Sasuke gives me a look as if to say be careful, and then announces that he'll go to the library. When Sasuke's out of sight I turn to my redhead happily and was about to begin a conversation when the usually quiet boy surprises me by interrupting.

"I would have thought you would be distant today," he says in a monotone voice looking out of the window.

"Why just cause of what you said last night?" I get no answer, "You don't have to feel sorry—"

"I'm not," I was interrupted again. Green eyes stare at me, and I almost got lost in them, until I noticed how Gaara had said those words. It was as if he was covering up the fact that he though he may have gone a little to far, and that he really does feel sorry about it. I give him my signature grin, and then decide to change the subject.

"Anyway, have you been doing any drawing lately? I'd like to see, if so," I say. Art is always a good subject to keep the boy talking.

"I plan on working on one this afternoon," he says and soon I keep a conversation going with him until I drift of and let him here me talk. I think about last night and all the things he said to me, while letting words and complaints about school flow out of my mouth.. He understands me a little better now, and I like to think maybe I understand him more now too. Still I want to be his reason to smile, I want him to be happy. I want him to like me, I don't want to be rejected, I really don't. It's that simply thing rejection…it's happened to me so many times…but if he were to completely reject me even as a friend I don't know how I would react. Gaara seems like…like something I have to have, that I can't lose. Somehow I feel like me and him, were suppose to meet. We were suppose to come to the same school and he was suppose to let me close. Let me talk to him, let me become his friend.

_"Most people only care for themselves"_

It's like, we've felt some sort of pain, that we can both relate to. I don't' know what's happened to him to make him the way he is, and I'm sure he doesn't have a clue to what my childhood was like. But I want to find out why he has no reason to smile, I want to know about him, I always have. I wonder if he wants to know about me. I wonder if this all was meant to happen. And if so, do I have a chance with him? If I were to tell him right now how I feel, would there be a happy ending because that's the way it's suppose to be? Or am I just looking to deeply into this, and making this all up. Yeah I'm probably just making up a fairy tale…I can't tell him. I'm just to afraid. Then on the other hand I want to tell him because I have some hope that maybe I do have a chance. To bad that the fear out ways the hope, I'll keep my mouth shut for now. I just don't know how long I can stand it. I want use to be so much more then what we are. I want everything for him, I want him to be happy, that's how I know this isn't just some stupid high school crush. That this feeling is what makes me think maybe this all was meant to be.

That maybe he'll love me back if I simply get up the courage to say, "I love you."

I was confused, when Gaara's face expression changed, and his eyes held confusion too. Then it hit me I had just said that out loud! I panic, and jump from the bed, trying to think of something to say anything to say. Green eyes looked at me, still holding that same expression but now along with it I saw pain.

"What did you just say?" He asks me in a stern whisper, that sent chills all over my body. I just felt like dying. I should have paid closer attention to what was coming out of my mouth and what I was thinking; those were suppose to be separate! I stare at the boy sweat coming down my forehead, his eyes seemed to be poison as they burned through me. I swallow hard, not seeing any other way out of this I open my mouth to talk, to explain myself or something.

"I ..I said I love you. I've been having a crush on you for a while now, and—" I could see in his eyes he could care less. After I had said I love you again, he tuned me out, not caring what else I have to say. He then shuts his eyes and pushes himself off my bed and heads towards the door.

"Gaara wait!" I try to stop him, he couldn't just leave. I already felt my heart acing. He can't just go without some sort of answer. Am I being rejected? I have to know, if I'm being cast aside like I have been so many times before. If he holds hatred towards me now, for my sick feelings. Does he think my feelings are sick? Hadn't he said those rumors don't' bother him, that he doesn't know how he feels about relationships. Wouldn't homosexuality not bother him, it wouldn't, I know it wouldn't. But I …I just confessed to him, that's a whole different level. Tolerating gays is way different then having a guy tell you he loves you, isn't it? But god I didn't want him to just leave, when I knew nothing of what he was thinking. All I could see was that odd pained look in his eyes, as he turned to me.

"You fool," he told me harshly and with that left my room. Not exactly slamming the door behind him, but not really closing it softly either. I sat there staring at the door, confused. Why did he look like what I said hurt him? I let out a sigh and I go to my window. I had told him I had finally said it, but yet I feel so incomplete, like this is a dream. I hadn't wanted it to be like this, where I just stupidly blurted my confession out.

'God Naruto, you really are a fool," I repeat Gaara's words to myself while hitting my head on the window.

**Gaara's POV**

I enter my room, for some reason shaking all over. Love? What a meaningless word. What is wrong with that nymph? Is he playing some sort of trick? Somehow I doubted it, he honestly seemed to be acting like himself. Ontop of that why would he play such a trick"? What meaning would it have behind it? Love…it's a word I do not trust. I do not trust what the blonde haired boy had just confessed to me, he is most likely just confused. Possibly the idea of love was put into his head because of all the rumors. Yes that's it, he simply started to be over come by all the rumors, to the point that in his mind he though them to hold some truth. I sit on my bed, and put my head into my hands. I was angry yet so confused.

All these feelings, I couldn't figure them out. I don't' understand. All I know is that that word—I touch my forehead were I had tattooed the word into my skin—brought with it nothing but bad memories. _He_ had said so many times that he loved me, that my mother had loved me. It was all lies, he hated me just as my father did. For the same reason because I took my mothers life, her sanity. I never saw any blood, yet I was born in it. I was born from a puddle of blood. Just as I am the only one who has this deep red hair in my family. May father and brother, have brown hair that has a light reddish tint to it at some points. But I, I have this red hair, as red as the blood that stained me at birth.

I was not wanted, not by my mother not by my father and not by my uncle. So now here is Naruto, proclaiming his love to me. Saying that he wants me. Wanted on such a level. What is wrong with him? I've never been wanted by anyone; he's just confused, nothing more. I pull at my hair hard, feeling the pain for a while, before slipping my finger over my face. This was all idiocy.

I clam down a little, trying desperately to dismiss the boy's words from my memory. I take out the book I had bought from the plaza and begin to read, finding it to be a very good distraction, because the words are not at all familiar, like the ones of my other books.

"What's wrong with you?" I look up from my book surprised. I hadn't at all noticed my brother in the room. He was looking at me, probably having witnessed my strange behavior. I felt aggravated at myself for not noticing the other's presence in the room. I like to keep my feelings private, especially when my feelings take over, like they just had.

"Well are you going to answer me? Almost ripping out your hair isn't a normal thing," he says. I wonder if he truly cares or if he just wants to know if something as occurred to me so that he can tease and taunt me about it later, or tell me to suck it up.

"It's none of your concern," I tell him in a monotone voice. He looks at me, and then lets out a sigh.

"Whatever," he says putting in his earphones to listen to some music. I go back to reading my book, and it was peaceful through out the room for the rest of the evening. It was around ten o'clock, that I put down the book, having read it twice. I look at the clock and the sleeping form of my brother and curse them both. I felt not at all like sleeping. Though I would like to just simply close my eyes and forget this day ever occurred. I couldn't help but to think back to childhood memories and the words that had been spoken between me and Naruto last night came to mind. I hadn't meant to upset him, but I simply spoke what I though, I wasn't going to apologize for it. Just as he shouldn't apologize for the crazy confession he gave me today. He truly is and odd being, and I don't want to think of him right at this moment. He simply confuses me. I rummage through some of my drawings and notepads in an attempt to find some empty sheets of paper. So that I may occupy my mind. These sleepless nights are nothing but torture. Finally I find a blank sheet of paper after passing by some pieces of work, and I wonder did the nymph inspire those? The one who says he loves me. I shake my head really not wanting to think of such things. The boy was merely confused that is all, nothing more nothing less. After all who would find me, and my personality attractive. I've done nothing but push him away for the most part, and then when I finally did take him on as a friend, I did nothing that I would think would lead him to like me, or think that I would like him.

I remember back to all those questions that boy had asked me. How do I feel about relationships, and how I feel about the rumors. Was he unsure of me? Is that why he asked me those questions to see how I would answer? Everything seemed to make sense, him being uncomfortable with the rumors, because to an extent they held some truth. Yet I wonder if it was the start of those rumors that made him think of me in a different light. I sigh, I do not care. I shouldn't care, after all I've already come to the conclusion that the boy is confused. I could never love or be loved. I just don't trust those words and I would never say them in return. I need my mind to stop thinking about the boy, about everything that has occurred, I want a moment of peace.

**Naruto's POV**

I lay awake in my bed. I had slept a little but I woke up for no reason. I don't' remember dreaming anything at all. Either way now I can't get back to sleep. When Sasuke had come in earlier this evening, he had asked me what happened. Obviously it was written on my face that something went down. I told him nothing. Of course he didn't believe me but he didn't ask anymore questions, just gave me a sympathetic look. Really I don't know how I feel, mainly because I don't' understand how Gaara feels. What sort of answer is that one word he gave me? And why did he look like I had just stabbed him in the chest with a knife, before he left? It's completely confusing and he's being so mysterious. Why had those words hurt him? Was it really what I said that hurt him? Then why? How could the word love ever bring painful thoughts to someone's mind? It only makes me long for him more. He seems to have no idea of love of friendship, and the happiness they usually bring. What has happened to him in the past to make him so…so afraid of other people, so uncaring of relationships. He can't possibly want to be alone. Then again it doesn't seem like he wants to be with me either.

I kept my eyes open until sunlight came into the room. Then I got up and picked out some cloths and seeing as how it was still early, I'll go take a shower. I took a shower quickly, not wanting to be in the bathroom to long. I'm sure I would get picked on if I did, and I really wasn't in the mood for having someone remind me of how untrue the rumors really are. I leave and by the time I reenter my room, Sasuke was pulling on a sleeveless turtleneck, and was wearing some rather tight jeans.

"Did you tell him?" He questions when I go to my school books. I wasn't expecting him to ask that, but Sasuke isn't stupid he would have figured it out sooner or later. For a moment I didn't want to answer, but when I felt my friends hand on my shoulder in a comforting way I decided against it.

"Yeah I did," I say softly.

"I guess it didn't' work out like you wanted it to. What did he say to you?" He questions with a little hint of anger in his voice.

"Nothing real, except he called me a fool," Sasuke snorted when I told him this. As if he was expecting to hear something like that.

"Sasuke, who is it that you have a crush on?" I ask curious. The question took the black haired boy by surprise.

"No one Naruto," he tells me in a tiered voice that just screamed, 'I'm lying!'

"Come on I told you all about Gaara, and you always seemed to think you knew what would happen," I tell him. In all honestly I wanted to hear about someone else's love problems so that maybe I could get my mind off of mine. My friend goes back to his bed, and pulls out some school books. I looked at him waiting, I wanted an answer. I could tell that he knew I was staring at his back. Eventually it aggravated him and he turned to me.

"Itachi, ok? Now leave me alone," he spits out, and takes his bag and leaves the room. I watch him unbelieving. Every time I saw him with his brother he acted like he utterly hated him. Was that just an act so that Itachi wouldn't find out? I wonder. I don't know but hearing my friend tell me he loved his own brother only shocked me because it was the last thing I expected. He probably didn't want to tell me cause he thought I would think it's disgusting. He assumes to much, that's probably the reason why he wont' tell Itachi how he feels, cause he assumes his brother would make a cruel joke out of it. But it's his choice, I won't bother my friend about it. Though I may tease, which I know will piss him off so bad.

I take my things and the bell for the first class of the day rings. I make my way to my first classroom. I was surprised when the teacher wasn't' there. Most of the students had gathered around the outside of the door. It's very rare when a teacher comes late to a class. Eventually our science teacher did show up, out of breath from trying to get here quickly. He pushes his glasses up his nose and then unlocks the classroom door. We all stepped inside, and sat down. After two boys were sent out of the room for rather loudly saying why they thought Mr. Yakush was late. It had something to do with my former science teacher, which only made Mr. Yakush turn red, out of embarrassment or anger I couldn't tell. Either way the boys were sent out, and now we are going over the reproductive system. Today it just seems it's all about love. As if the world is taunting me. Studying the reproductive system, a system that usually start when two people fall in love. And then what those boys had said about our teacher. It doesn't' seem far and even though I am in an all boys school I felt like everyone had someone to love but me. Or had a better chance at finding love then me.

I was bored throughout the school day. But I didn't want the school day to go by to fast, because I didn't want to go to my last class, the one class Gaara and I share. In the end I had to enter the class, and sit in the back were my still crush sat. I felt so awkward, and I'm sure he did as well. I didn't say a single word instead just paying attention to the teacher and doing the work that was needed. I didn't as much as steal a glance at the boy. I just felt like melting into a puddle and go unseen as I slither under the door crack. I was so relieved once the bell rings and signals that the school day was over. I get up in a hurry, and make to leave the room. It's only then that I turn back to get a glimpse at the lovely redhead. I was surprised when I made direct eye contact with Gaara. I turn my head and look straight ahead of me, my heart beating fast. I felt pain in my chest, I just wish I knew what he was thinking. If he hates me now, or if we can still be friends. I won't be stopping at the courtyard today, I may not be sitting there for the rest of my high school years…..

A/N: Well so Naruto finally confessed, and this chapter wasn't so long as the other. But I didn't want it to be. I'd like to thank everyone who helped me out with my little dilemma. It was hard to decide, but after counting up most of the review voting and then counting in one of my friends votes I came up with a tie. Then I flipped a coin (about three times because I'm weird like that) and it came up heads every time. So it will be an InuSess pairing. So if anyone of you are interested, in it then you can check it out, coming soon under the title of _"Like a Blot from the Blue"._


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18: The silence is deafening

**Gaara's POV**

I sit in the courtyard as I always do. It is very still even though the footsteps of other students were very loud, it was quiet to me. It as been four days since Naruto had said…since he's confessed his feeling to me. Still I wonder if he really fully understand what those words mean. I am not too proud to admit I only have a warped understanding of the words. Yet I don't' believe him, I do not trust him. Why would he want anything from me? Why had he wanted my friendship? And now why does he want this? My head it's been hurting those past few days, maybe from to many attempts at trying to figure the boy out. Or maybe it's just the lack of familiar noise that has caused my head to go numb. Either way, no matter how hard I try, the nymph keeps digging himself into my brain. He is all I think about. Him and past memories….sleep still hasn't come to me.

In class the blonde will glance at me, as if his eyes are pleading with me. It could just be my imagination. He hasn't' said a word to me in four days. I haven't heard his voice in four days, and why does that bother me? So I've lost a friend? I suppose I have, but it's a big deal. I've been alone before and I can do it again. It doesn't mater to me either way. But then why is it that when I say this, when I remind myself that I'm use to being alone all I think about is the nymph and his voice.

"_You really are weird Gaara," _

"_I wouldn't want to be alone. I like to be around people. But I guess you already know that. I think relationships are important. I mean it's nice to think about having some one that in a was belongs to you, ya know? I mean some one who you can make happy and protect, and they can protect you and shit. Some one you tell things to that you wouldn't tell anyone else. I guess it's kinda like having a best friend, except different. Cause well the whole sex thing and all_,"

I've never had a best friend. I wouldn't know what it's like to have a best friend. It seems that he knows what love is. I'm only confused, I can not tell the difference between love and hate, because those lines have always been blurred. That's why I don't' trust that word. But love seems to be such an unselfish emotion. I don't' think I can feel such a thing. I only trust myself, I've always taken care of myself. I've never been friendly towards others, mainly ignoring them, or trying to drive them off. I wasn't able to get rid of Naruto, and this is what happens. This is what I get for letting someone get close to me. The boy is just confused…he doesn't' know what he wants. After all I've said it so many times before sexuality is a difficult thing to figure out. He probably hasn't' figured his out yet. He doesn't truly feel any affection towards me. We're better off not speak to one another, that we become distant. If the boy comes to speak to me again, only wanting friendship, then that is fine. If he never shows up again, that is fine too. It doesn't matter, I'm use to being alone.

_I mean you don't' honestly want to spend your whole life alone, right?"_

I get up, deciding a good distraction from all these thoughts would be starting on my next photography project. We are suppose to make a collage of photos that in the end make another picture. We have a month to complete it. Yet I wish to start on it know so that maybe I can get my mind of off Naruto. I look around the campus seeking out anything that would be worthy of being photographed. I sigh in disappointment when I find nothing. The image of my muse flashes before my eyes. He truly is a good subject. He holds so many emotions…he can communicate those feelings in so many different ways. A beautiful model, he is.

I slow my pace, as I think over what I had just said. A beautiful model? I suppose, maybe he is. After all I've already admitted he's my favorite subject. He can smile so bright with sincerity, he can smile in a fake cover up of the sadness he holds. He's most breath taking, when he lets his features relax, and a small frown comes over him. What is it that makes him so sad? That makes him distrust people as much I do…what am I thinking? Calling another male beautiful, breath taking? I've never said such things about anyone. I've never cared much about appearances. Of course I've never cared much about friendship either, but Naruto had made me rethink that subject. I am suppose to be thinking of something other then the nymph. I sigh in aggravation. It's too hard to get him out of my mind. I've had this happen before were the nymph settled into my brain. Why am I thinking so much about him now? Is it because of what he told me four days ago?

I go back to me room, looking down the hall were I know Naruto's dorm lies.

"…_what I'm trying to ask is, what you do you think of relationships?"_

I open the door to my room, my brother was no were to be found. I sit on the floor leaning against my bed. I reach underneath, it's were I put most of my paints. I touch a piece of paper and I pull it out. It's the picture I had intended to paint. The one of Naruto and the female counter part. What do I think about relationships? I think, that I'm a person who really has no desire for them. I find nothing attractive, yet I just labeled you as beautiful. With anger I shove the paper back under the bed. I get up and sit upon my black silk sheets. I feel restless, and anger is boiling inside of me, anger and confusion. I want to stop thinking about him, I want him out of my head.

The next morning I find myself in the courtyard again. It was so still, not even the sound of footsteps graced me all that often. Seeing as it's Saturday many have gone of with their friends to the mall, or whatever it is they like to do. Yet I remember some of the conversations I've had with Naruto and run them through my head, an attempt at replacement. Why did he have to say I love you? I was getting so use to the boy, damn that's exactly the problem isn't it? I should not have gotten attached. Yet what harm is it? Having a friend…it wasn't so bad. Having company out here, it was nice. The boy wasn't as annoying as the others that attempted to make a friendship with me. He was so odd, a strange creature that I couldn't get rid of. Sadly I am attached to him, I've gotten use to him. It seems so different without him, but I don't' want to seek him out. It would only lead to an awkward situation. It's better this way.

Many groups of students looked at me, then turning to one another to most likely start other rumors. Laughs occasionally came. It's when these noises started, that I realized the sky was starting to get dark. I've been sitting out here fore hours. Doing what? Thinking about…my muse. I don't' know why, but he's the only one who can move into my head like this. I look up at the window that I know belongs to him, and I could swear I saw blonde hair, that all to quickly disappeared.

What is it like to have a best friend? To have someone love you? I don't' know, I wouldn't mind finding out, but still I don't trust words. People use words like love and friendship to lightly. Yet, I'm sure the blonde boy is my friend, he has done nice things for me. Such as attempting to teach me how to swim, and saving my painting from destruction. Still we do not have a deep friendship, I still do not know the reason behind his moments of sadness. Yet…that night. He …I wonder if he's willing to tell me.

"_Some one you tell things to that you wouldn't tell anyone else"_

I sigh, having completely gotten us to hearing the echoing of his voice in my head by now. I get up and head back to my room. Once I reach my hallway I hear a couple of voices, one sounding very familiar.

"You going to see your little Satan worshiper boyfriend."

"Leave me alone," it was Naruto, but his voice held not a trace of his usual attitude, or spunk. It seemed dead, and for some reason the sound stirred a feeling inside of me. I don't know how to explain it, but it was a sort of sinking feeling. When the group comes into my view, I see two boys, holding Naruto to the wall. Just a couple of feet away from my door. Naruto's' hair was damp, he most likely was just heading back to his room after a shower and these two stopped him. The responses to the rumors really seem to be over the top. At least in my opinion. No ones dared to mess with me. But I suppose they've targeted Naruto more then once. Another emotion comes into my stomach, I don't' try to figure any of these emotions out. As a fist connects with one of the bully's faces, I tell myself that it's because they are in my way. Not because I want to help the nymph…no I just need to get to my dorm, and their blocking my way.

The boy had obviously not seen me coming until I punched him. He stumbled back anger in his eyes. But once he recognizes who I am he seems to cower a little. However his friend doesn't seem too afraid.

"You here to protect you're little sex toy?" He taunts me and I don't let it phase me. Most people are so very immature.

"Move out of my way. You're blocking the door," I say with malice in my voice. With a growl, and a snort the boys turn around. The one that taunted me seemed to whisper, "you two aren't worth our time anyway."

I walk to my door, and can't help but look at Naruto. He was tugging down his shirt, wish was askew because of the encounter. Then his blue eyes land on me with all seriousness, he says,

"Why'd you help me? I could have taken care of it myself." His voice didn't hold his usual volume. There was that sinking feeling again.

"I couldn't get to my door," I say simply. Blue eyes seemed to be studying me. "Besides it didn't look like you were willing to do anything," I say somewhat rudely. I don't know why but I felt like saying something a little hostile. Maybe because those blue eyes were just watching me so intently.

**Naruto's POV**

All I had wanted to do today was take a shower and try to stop thinking about Gaara, and his confusing reaction. Try and get all hope of a relationship out of my head, and then go back see if maybe I can't still have his friendship. It's all right I've been rejected before, but I couldn't bare to lose him completely. Maybe it would have been a stupid move. Torturing myself like that, but maybe I could have gotten over him. However now, that he's in front of me. It seems like I could never get over him, I felt angry and sad all at the same time. I had been reminded earlier of how untrue the rumors were. I really didn't want to deal with them, and was hoping they would just lose interest, before I got to pissed off and beat the shit out of them. But then Gaara came, and he put hope in my heart. He seems so cold so hostile. But his eyes they still hold loneliness, and fear. What is it that he's afraid of?

What happened to him to make him the way he is now? All I want to do is hug him, but I can't. I need to let go, I'm being such an idiot. It's only making it worse fore me. But losing him as a friend now, after all I've built up. It just seems like a waste. I wanted to know about the school's outcast, I wanted to know about the real Gaara. I still do but…then again if I find out anymore I may just fall in love with him even more. So I should back off, right? Easier said then done, he's so addicting. There's just something about him. Ontop of that Naruto Uzumaki doesn't leave anything half done! But this is a little too complicated fore me. Hell I have no idea what I should do. God I'm standing here staring at him like an idiot!

"I was going to do something! I was just waiting for the right time. So next time mind your own business," I say with a little bite. Only to cover up how really, really uncomfortable I am right now.

I think back to the last passed days I've made sure to avoid Gaara, and not look at him. Sasuke was of course a little worried about me. I was being a little bit more quiet then usual. But believe it or not I was thinking the whole time. I was trying to figure out Gaara and how he reacted. I was trying to figure out if maybe I could still be his friend. I wanted to think about something else, but the red head just pooped back up in my head. Even in my dreams, and god those dreams were both awesome, and painful. I had no hope left after all, well or at least I was trying to convince myself of that. But a little stubborn part of me said no, you still have a chance. After all saying, "you fool" isn't like saying "I don't love you and never will." Right? So I kept a little hope even if it only caused me pain, I kept it, and I dreamt of the red head. These past days were, just so bad, and I wouldn't come out of my thoughts to often, which is what I suppose worried Sasuke so much. I usually don't retreat inside of my mind.

Gaara turned the knob of his door, and I wanted to stop him. I could still feel his eyes on me, and tension was in the air.

"Why did you call me a fool?" I ask honestly, that word had been bothering me for so long. I want some sort of answer. This question stopped Gaara from entering his room.

**Gaara's POV**

I wasn't expected he nymph to ask me that. I stop and turn to him, wonder if it is such a good idea to tell him what I think of him. I decide it would do no harm. "I called you a fool because you are confused, and easily swayed into believing you love me," I tell him, running my thoughts threw my head. The thoughts of how it was the rumors fault, the rumors being the reason why the boy is confused. Yet now when I look at the anger that's building up on his face. Was I wrong?

"Me confused!? Look who's talking! You're the one that's confused, that's why you just left. If you weren't thinking about it, and if you really didn't care, and thought I just said that cause I'm confused. Then we would still be sitting in the courtyard together! But you! You don't know what to think!" There it was that usual spunk, and with that yelled at me the boy leaves in a huff.

I step inside of my dorm, and my brother's eyes meet mine. "What was all that yelling about?" He questions.

"Nothing," I mumble, and he says no more. I wanted to paint, I didn't want to think about what the boy had just said. I fear that maybe he was right and that I myself am confused. Have I always been attracted to him? Was that why he became a muse to me? A frequent figure in my art, a constant source of inspiration. Is that why he had succeeded in getting so close to me. Getting under my skin, and making me feel a sot of attachment for him. I pull out my paint not caring that my brother was here, I just wanted to be in the bliss of concentration, that my art brings. Were I think of nothing but how the colors should blend, and contrast one another, were I think of nothing in particular and just let my hands work.

I set everything up, and get myself engulf in my art. But not so much that I would be lost. I'm sure my brother wouldn't appreciate me drawing with my blood in his presence. I don't' know what I'm drawing, but I feel like I'm waiting for a sign. That my subconscious knows something that I don't, and that's it's willing to tell me threw paint. That being the reason why I have this strong urge, to create. All the while I try not to think about Naruto's words, and I succeed.

At the end of my trance, I have paint of various colors on my hands. Every color blends smoothly, a soft blush to the cheeks indicates blood flowing threw the skin. Nothing pale and dead, yet a rather lively face, my own. I am sitting upon a thrown, my head resting on my hand, and I look down at my own heart in my hand, while my chest bled. In front of me is the back of a head, with blonde hair. His hand timidly reaching for the heart in my hand. It was a medieval theme as I'm wearing green robes, and the blonde…Naruto, was in a fools outfit. The background was completely white, so all you focus on is the two people's interaction. No other distractions, just the two boys….

How have I really felt about the nymph? My head is completely under water, and my mind feels a little jumbled up. I've never really had friendships, I've never really had a relationship. So how do I know I care about him? I don't know what love is. That is an emotion that you feel and learn about when others bestow it on you. Like you're parents, or other family members. It's when they give you love, is when you understand what it is, and what the feeling is. But all I've ever had, has been fake. That's why I still feel that maybe Naruto is dangerous. That he doesn't mean what he says. I never wanted to become attached, I've always wanted to isolate myself. Most people only care about themselves, but Naruto knows this. He…he doesn't seem like other people. He's never done anything to me to make me think he only cares about himself. Pain and death is part of life, sadness is an emotion everyone feels. To death everyone is equal and no one is better then the other. But also…isn't' there happiness. For happiness leads to pain, when you lose it. All emotions are intertwined. That is why I so often hardly feel anything. I'm not sad I am not happy, I have no reason to smile. But maybe, it isn't that bad to be attached to some one. Just one person. Either way I can't just pretend Naruto never came into my life. I never minded the thought of being alone, you cannot miss company if you never had it before. Yet now it seems a little upsetting to think of myself as alone. But these feelings, of wanting to be wanted by someone, and wanting their company, is that love?

It all still seems too blurry, and I still hardly understand. I don't' want to jump into anything. All of this seems sudden. So I've always liked the boy as a model, and I enjoyed his company and let him get close to me, and let myself get attached. But how is that a higher level then friendship? I don't' know I cant' tell them apart because I have hardly any experience with them. I look at the painting I just drew a little while longer, before cleaning up a little and heading to take a shower.

As the paint washes from my hand I watch the colors go down the drain. I try to think back on my time with _him. _Just because the love he showed me was fake, doesn't mean the feelings I had for him were. I had liked my uncle, I really had. I wanted to be around him, I would do as he told me without question. I've been content around Naruto, when he kept me company in the courtyard. I've even missed his presence when he wasn't there with me. I would do things for him, though I did them reluctantly for the most part. I did go shopping with him, and I drew that painting for him. He was the first person I ever drew a painting for. Was it because I felt affection towards him, and knew it would make him happy if I fulfilled his request? I did just as he asked, making the two in the painting smile, and using many shades of orange. I had such a strange feeling over come me I recall when I drew that picture. I had a strong urge to paint the picture for him, after I had though on how he seemed to be worrying about me. I remember all those things. I recollect how I though about him often on my summer break and how I was more open to talking to the boy once I came back to school. How I thought his singing was magnificent.

So possibly I do care for him, yet…what am I? What is my sexual orientation, how do I know this isn't just friendship I'm feeling. I have no idea. I'm not one to just do things for others, and give in, but Naruto never gave up so eventually I gave in. I didn't mind surrendering though, in the end. The boy seems to bring out things in me others can't. Does that have any significant?

I turn off the water and get prepared for bed, though I know I probably won't be sleeping. Either way I head back to my dorm, my brother not in the room. Lay on my bed going as far as to cover myself with my blanket, wishing sleep would come. I close my eyes, trying to drift off, but I couldn't. I didn't want to be tutored with my thoughts tonight, I simply wanted to rest, and forget for a while all that as happened. Just refresh myself. I don't know how long I laid there trying to go to sleep, but eventually my brother came back into the room and had no problem resting for the night. I tried to get sleep, getting into different positions, keeping my eyes closed. But all my head let me do was think about Naruto, think about everything he's told me. Think about his blue eyes, and that sad smile that he sometimes wears. Eventually though without my knowing, blackness came over me.

The next morning I find my eyes slowly and reluctantly opening. I had gotten little sleep, but I was grateful for the small time I had peace. I get dressed and out of instinct head for the courtyard as usual. I was surprised to see Naruto sitting there. I walk up to the boy, it seemed that he hadn't noticed me until I stood in front of him. He looks up at me, and lets out a sigh.

"Sorry about yesterday but you pissed me off. Anyway you think we can just go back to the way things were?" he questions not at all sounding sure of himself. It was obvious that going back to the way things were was the last thing he wanted to do.

"No," I say plainly, and I saw color drain from the boy's face. The blonde gets up to his feet, with that sad smile plastered onto his lips. Nothing can be the same anymore. I've questioned myself so much, and it's true that I am a little confused. But that feeling of confusing only seems to prove a point. Naruto is someone I let close, and maybe that happened for a reason. Maybe this whole time he was my muse because I felt some sort of attraction towards him, and I felt comfortable with him. He's not using those words in a false manner, he knows how to use them better then I do. The nymph always was able to force himself in, and then make you feel like you invited him. I'm not sure were this is going to go, all I know is that, the boy brings out thoughts and feelings I thought I lost when I was little. Even if my mind hardly drifts to sexual thoughts, the blonde became my muse, because he's a good model. A good model is attractive, so that only leads to the conclusion that I find the boy appealing. I hadn't recognized all these things. It seemed almost as if my subconscious knew better then me, and I was unaware of my growing attachment and affection. I had never though once about the possibility of love, because I had long ago told myself that no one would feel such an affection for me. That I do not know what love is and would never find out. Yet I want to hear his voice, I want his company, I want to know why sometimes he becomes sad, I want him always to have that outlook I never owned. Naruto never saw the rumors, but only tried to see me. I remember those first few days were the boy had tried to get to know me. I tired to push him away a little by being cold, but I wasn't as rude as I could have been. The fact was the boy had interested me, I wanted to know what his motives were. The blonde never had any he simply wanted to be my friend. So now, with this new declaration he has no motive, he simply means what he says. The nymph is not a complex person. The boy had interested me form the start, it's just that I never really was able to recognize that.

Naruto had taken many steps away from me. He walked depressingly slow. I watched him a little longer, before speaking up. "Most word can have a double meaning," I say simply. The boy turns around to look at me, completely perplexed.

"What's that suppose to mean?" He asks.

"I don't know if I can repeat your words, for I find words can sometimes be hallow. But I believe you. I'd like your company," I tell him, my voice seemed to grow smaller, almost coming out like a whisper. Honestly now that I've had a taste of company…I don't' want to be alone for the rest of my life. I want to be wanted, needed, I want someone who cares about me. Who's not being fake. I'm a little uneasy, I never want to get to close—knowing it would lead to trouble and pain, just as it had in the passed. Now though, I'm making myself so vulnerable. But as I feel those arms envelop me, and that joyful laugh happily sound form within my muse, it didn't seem so scary.

**A/N:** So I've recently joined DeivantArt. Mainly for my Mpreg stories, so that people can see a picture of the kid. But I also kinda wanted to reward my reviewers for this story. I mean I can't personally answer back to all you're reviews, but you are appreciated. So I was wondering if maybe any of you were curious about one of Gaara's paintings. I will draw whichever painting you ask me to do, except for the first one, because a reader was already kind enough to do a Fan art based on the picture. Anything else goes, just name it. The photo's taken by Gaara, sketches, anything I've ever said he doodled or painted, and you are curious to see how it would look, I'll draw it. As a thank you.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19: Growing understanding

**Gaara's POV**

"If you want an old building, then why not take a picture of the church?" I freeze the moment those words left my muse's mouth, and he bumps into me. "What's wrong? It's not like you'll burn up in a church if you step foot in it, anyway the Catholic Church down town is the oldest building," Naruto explains tugging at his cloths.

"Though it'd be a long ways to walk, can't we take a bus? This trench coat is killing me". The blonde complained bunching up the sleeves of my coat. We must be a very odd sight to behold by anyone passing us by. Mainly because Naruto's were a trench coat and today is a rather warm day, and because of the make up on his face. Yes make up, not paint, we had gone to the plaza again Friday afternoon and I doubt the boy some make up, so when he models for me I wont' have to worry about how the paint on his skin is affecting him. I've actually been very content the last passed two weeks. Naruto is very happy, and I find joy in that, no matter how strange it may seem. My muse is back to his loud moth and talkative self, and having his company is very enjoyable. He willingly is helping me with my photography project.

I suppose that me and Naruto are doing what most call, 'dating'. I'm not sure, but the blonde seems happier then usual, and he'll sit closer to me then he use to. I find that I actually don't' mind the closeness. The boy is not pushing things on me, which I'm grateful for. He does not cling to me, and he does not hold my hand. Conversation between use seems to have opened up a little more. I've caught myself many of times starting a conversation first, and answering questions without hesitation. It's still puzzling though, how much Naruto's happiness can affect me.

"Bench! Thank god I'm taking a break!" The boy burst out with new found energy and runs towards the bus bench and sits down. He unbuttons the trench coat and sprawls out, resembling a carpet you've hung outside to air out. I sit next to the boy, camera in hand.

"So are we going to the church?" He questions.

"I don't' know, I dot' really like churches," I tell the boy.

"Why not?"

"I've just never thought myself worthy of being near one, to put it simply," I explain in a way the nymph will understand. But in truth, it's not that I feel unworthy, as more that I feel like I'm being judged when I'm near a church. I feel as if someone were to invite me inside they would expect me to go into confessionals, and tell of what they thought to be sins. Maybe I have done wrong, I've taken lives, but I don't' see myself as a sinner.

"Oh well, I don't' see how you're not worthy. But either way I'll try to think of some other buildings that look kinda old..." he trails off. I also try to think of a building in this small town, that has an old type of architecture. None come to mind, all but of course the church. I look over at Naruto who is still pondering. His trench coat open to reveal a black shirt with of course and orange design on it. He's wearing black pants as well, and I let him barrow a pair of my boats for the photo shoot. I already have everything planed out for my collage. Using black and white photos, along with sepia photos, I'll make a picture of an hourglass. So far I have a few pictures, of some birds I was lucky to catch while in the courtyard, along with two pictures of my model. I want some pictures of buildings, but I suppose the church is the only candidate. Along with maybe that rather large Chinese restaurant which has a nice Asian structure to it. It's not to far away form the church.

I see a bus coming closer to were we are sitting, and looking over at Naruto, I decide it would be a waste if we didn't' go to the church. After all Naruto looks so nice in his black clothing and purple eye shadow, that reaches up all the way to his brow and then curves around to disappear into his hair line. Fake red tears are running down his powdered cheeks. I get up once the bus approaches, and my muse follows me.

"So I guess we're going to the church?" I shrug, and we both get on, reaching into our pockets to pay for our ride with a couple of cents.

Once we reach the church I hesitate getting close to it, simply looking it over instead, Naruto looked as if he was going to say something but then he noticed that I was about to take a picture of the church as a whole and said nothing. Once I'm done I look at the double door that leads inside the building.

"Come on Gaara, it's not even Sunday so there wont' be that many people," he assures me, walking towards the building all the while beckoning me to follow with his hand. I follow my muse a few steps behind and at a rather slow pace. Once I actually enter the church the boy was speaking to a priest t who was giving him a strange look. The priest eyes landed on me, and I didn't like it, but he nods and walks off.

"The priest said it was ok for use to take some pictures. So what do you want me to do?" Naruto says with a bounce in his voice. I look at his blue eyes, and look around for a brief moment. I was actually really glade there weren't that many people around.

"Don't worry Gaara we practically have the place to ourselves. Besides this isn't like our school, they wont' call you a witch or anything like that," Naruto tells me in a soft almost motherly voice. It actually helped and made me feel a little bit more at ease.

I clear my throat and point while I explain the position I want the blonde to get into, "Just lean your head on your hand," I say not liking the way the boy held his head. But as he completely relaxed upon the stairs that lead up to the church pedestal I could tell this would be a rather nice picture. I waited a little while hoping the sun would be kind to me, and shine threw the stain glass window behind the pedestal. It was kind and I took the picture at the right moment. Naruto's eyes were down cast and he was completely relaxed, taking on the pose of someone who had just finished crying while begging for forgiveness.

Another picture of him praying, and another of the empty seats with a lonely bible resting on it, a few more of the place and my model, before Naruto spoke up. "Can't you take a picture of the both of us, please?" He asks of me while I was redoing his make up for the next photo. Making sure not the mess with the purple eye shadow, but simply get off the red make up, and try not the get off to much of the white foundation.

"I suppose," I say adding a little more foundation to the spot that had held red before. I take his wrist and use the make up to make it look like he just cut himself.

A wide grin covers his face, "And you'll use the picture in your collage?" He asks, I only nod for and answer, "Cool, but hopefully no one will think I really do cut myself," he says. "That reminds me let my see your fingers", he orders. I flash my hand in his face.

"I don't do it because I wish to die or hurt myself. I just like…putting my essence into some of my art work," I explain to him, not wanting him to think I'm cutting myself because I'm depressed or something. Either way he put my hand aside satisfied to see no marks on my fingers. I haven't had time to paint, and nothing has caused me to want to pure out my soul so badly that I would use my blood. I put away the red make up pencil, and look at Naruto

"Make it look like I've been crying," I tell him.

"Ok can't grantee you that it'll look good but I'll try," he says liking his figures and smudging my eyeliner. Dragging his finger down my cheeks, to get the effect I want "Do you have lines under you're eyes?" He questions wiping more of my eyeliner away.

I swat his hand away," Don't take it off," I tell him.

"Have you been sleeping?" He asks me.

"Yes, but not much. It's nothing to worry about, don't' over react like you did last time you found out I wasn't sleeping," I say in a monotone voice. Blue eyes glare at me.

"Well sorry for caring. Either way why aren't you sleeping well?" He asks with a hint of concern in his voice.

"Sometime I sleep sometimes I don't," I say plainly.

"Well try harder to get more sleep," my muse tells me.

"Lay down on the church bench," I say, not having anything to say about his statement. The boy does so closing his eyes, which was perfect. I tell him to lay one arm over his head so that the fake cuts can be seen, he does so. I then sit on the floor and rest my head partially on Naruto's' chest. I lift up the camera, and looking away from the lens take the picture. The moment I do Naruto pops up.

"I want a copy of that picture!" He says loudly. I get up without a word and head for the door, looking back to make sure my muse is following me. When the boy runs up to me I continue my exit of the building.

**Naruto's POV**

I was so glade once I was able to take of my trench coat. Gaara and me are washing our faces, to get of the make up. After Gaara had gotten his make up of he reapplied his eyeliner. He doesn't have a very healthy sleeping habit that's for sure. But I'm so happy to finally have Gaara as mine! He's so much more talkative and open, I'm so happy. I don't want to go to fast though, so I give Gaara his room. Maybe he will make the first move, and then I'll be sure he's ready. I'm talking about holding hands and kissing of course. I just want him to be comfortable with that stuff. I can wait, I'm way too happy to care if we're not holding hands and shit like that. The physical isn't everything, it'll come with time. But for now I'll keep dreaming.

Don't think we didn't get strange looks on our way to the bathroom we did. I don't care though, as long as I'm with Gaara no one comes up to use and says anything. I mean yeah there's the occasional idiot who does, but Gaara's cold shoulder or deadly stare will make them turn around and leave usually. I don't see how it's anyone's business if I'm dating Gaara. But we've made the rumors come true, and I couldn't be any happier because of it.

"So are you going to enter the talent show?" Gaara's low, dull voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"Mmm, I don't know yet. But I'm thinking about it. I mean I got some time before I make up my mind," I tell him.

"I suppose," my red head replies, and we continue walking down the hall to his dorm. Once we reach his we go our separate ways.

"Try and sleep tonight, ok? I'll see you tomorrow," I tell him with a grin and a wave. He only gives me a wave in return before stepping into his room. I walk the short distance down to my room, and find Sasuke curled up with a book inside. He lifts his eyes to me.

"Kiba came by earlier," he tells me.

"Oh, why?"

"I think he just wanted to hang out. I told him you were with Gaara. I think Kiba's starting to suspect something."

I look at Sasuke a little worried. I mean I'm sure Kiba's heard the rumors and stuff, but I doubt he ever believed them. I mean he hung out with me and those people didn't so, he would be sure I wasn't gay. But I guess now that I've been spending so much time with Gaara, going of campus with him and stuff, maybe he would find that odd. I wonder how he'll react if I tell him that I am dating Gaara just like everyone says.

"How do you think Kiba would react?"

"React to what?" I turn around to see my friend behind me. "You're not gonna say you're busy again and we can't hang out are you?" He questions me.

"Nah, not that. Just forget it. Tomorrow after noon, I promise we'll do something together," I tell my friend, hoping that he won't ask what it was we were talking about.

"I guess you really cracked Gaara, huh?" Kiba asks, I nod my head. "I don't know Naruto I still think you should watch out around that boy. Haven't you heard all those rumors?"

"What the ones about us being a couple. Those are total bullshit," I lie.

"Well no doubt you're not gay, but I don't know about him. I'd watch it. I've heard rumors that he's into a lot of pretty kinky stuff. He might have his eye on you, he might force you into something you didn't plan on" Kiba says with all seriousness. I had to try hard not to burst out into laughter. Gaara? Kinky? Me get jumped by him? Ok so the kinky thing is totally believable, but Gaara's way too distant and dare I say, shy to try anything on me. Right now he won't' even hold hands! How's he gonna just one day force me down and tie me up…and…god that would be kinda hot actually…But anyway! It's not gonna happen, at least not now, and at least not suddenly. So Kiba has nothing to worry about, and there's no need for me to be careful around the boy.

"You can't believe everything everyone says, Kiba," I tell my friend.

"Naruto, just cause you hang out with him, doesn't mean he's letting you see the real him. I'd still be careful man," my friend says with some concern in his voice. I know I still don't know everything about Gaara, but I know him better then anyone else. I know he's being honest with me. I know because what he had said about the church, that had to be honest. I believe him when he said he didn't feel worthy enough to go inside. Though I don't' know why, and actually think the opposite, I'll find out one day why. I'm sure he'll tell me. I know the real Gaara, while everyone else just knows the rumors. As I though about this I couldn't help but smile.

"All right man, I'll be careful,' I tell him. Kiba seems satisfied and after some small talk he leaves to go back to his room. I really do wonder how he would reacted if I told him I'm with Gaara, in more then a friendly way. But I won't say anything know. After all I just started this relationship, so why should I go around telling people about it. Sasuke of course knows, because it was kinda hard to hide it from him. I get ready for bed, along with Sasuke, and not so soon after we both go to sleep.

The next morning I impatiently wait for Gaara to show up in the courtyard. He's cutting our time together short. I said I would go hang out with Kiba at the mall, at two o'clock. It's already ten in the morning. Gaara better have a good excuse. Maybe he actually did sleep, and he's still asleep now. But I find that hard to believe. Maybe I should go check up on him in his dorm. As I get up to do just that, I hear footsteps come towards me and someone softly call my name. I turn around to see Gaara with something in his hand.

"Were have you been?" I ask him once he stops in front of me. Gaara doesn't answer me with words but instead hands me a photograph. The photo was the one of use together, and it was all in a sort of yellowish brown color, making it look like an old picture.

"Your copy," he says quietly, and sits down on the flower bed edge. I sit close next to him, our shoulders brushing together. I like that I can do that now, he doesn't' complain about it, so I'm sure he doesn't mind. I myself love the closeness. I look at the picture studying every detail.

"You know I really am a good model," I say with a cocky tone, and chuckle after wards. "But no really I like the picture it's really good. You're good at all kinds of art stuff," I tell him. He doesn't respond, probably because he doesn't know what to say to the complement. I go on not minding he stillness, after all I'm use to it. Even if he is more talkative then before he still has his moments. "I promised a friend of mine I'd meet him at the mall around two," I tell Gaara he gives me a nod, indicating he heard me and understood.

"So was it to bad going into the church yesterday? Since you said you don't' usually like to," I ask.

"It was uncomfortable, but a lot of good pictures came out of it," he tells me, in a monotone voice.

I smile for a short moment at him before asking another question. "So why is it that you think you're not worthy of going into a church anyway?"

Gaara stood still for a long moment, I didn't push him to answer or change the subject. If he didn't want to talk about it he'll let me know. "I'm not exactly pure, and I feel as though I'm being judged," he says just above a whisper.

"Oh, I know how that feels. Being judged. But you're being judged every where…" I trail off thinking about all those times I've been judged by someone. Just because of what others have told them, or because the way I acted. I hardly every get any real chances to show them who I really am. But I don't care. I then change the subject, not really wanting to go to deep into this, I could tell Gaara was relieved that the subject was changed. Even if he didn't really show it, I've gotten pretty good at reading the boy, and the things he does no matter how subtle they are.

"Well I got to go meet my friend," I tell him getting up. I had the urge to hug him goodbye, because we hadn't really had that much time together and I'm sure I wont' see him until tomorrow again. But I didn't do so, there are too many people around that would start something, and I'm not sure how comfortable Gaara would be in a hug. After all that first time I hugged him he was pretty stiff, but he didn't pull away or anything. Either way he gives me a soft good bye, and I give him a smile before returning the words and going off to find Kiba. Kiba told me to meet him at the front gate. I walk towards the gate tucking the picture of Gaara and me into my pants pocket even though it didn't fit all the way. I didn't want to fold it in half, so I just kept my hand in that pocket to make sure it wouldn't fall out.

Once I reached the gate, which wasn't that far of a walk, I wait for Kiba who wasn't there yet.

"Sorry if you waited long," Kiba's voice greeted me.

"Nope I didn't wait long at all," I tell him, and we walk of to the nearest bus stop, talking the whole way. Kiba was saying how glade he was to hang with me, because Shino's been trying to get him to do some bug related stuff with him. I tease Kiba bout it, saying he knows he likes bugs. He only said 'yeah right', in return. Once we finally got to the mall we headed straight to the video game store. Were we looked around for about half an hour. Pointing out games and stuff like that.

"You know what I like about the game store?" Kiba asks me, as we walked out of said shop.

"What?"

"It's right across from Victoria's Secret," my friend says looking at the bra and panties displayed in the window. I laugh, and playfully push him along with both hands.

"You're such a pervert," I tell him, and we both laugh. Then something catches Kiba's eye, and it's not the panties, he ducks down to pick something up. "Hey Naruto you dropped this." The moment those words came out of his mouth, all I though was, 'oh shit!' Will he find it strange that I'm carrying around a picture of Gaara and me? Gaara's head is resting on me too, what will he make of that?

**A/N:** Cliffy! Anyway, the pictures are all up. All you have to do is go to deviantart, and type in "To adore the hellish" and they should all pop up. If not then u can go to my gallery, by clicking on my artist name 'Kiwidoll'. Thank you for those of you who also have a DA accounts and welcomed me. And of course I hope everyone enjoys the pictures, and that they enjoyed this chapter.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20: No shame

**Naruto's POV**

Kiba looks at the picture that I had dropped, and for a moment there was nothing but silence between us. Of course the noise of the mall didn't make it a sort of dramatic silence, but it was still tense.

"You two..have really gotten close," Kiba says sounding unsure of himself. He still held the picture in his hand and then finally handed it to me. I didn't want to look him in the eyes, afraid of what I might find. But I did anyway, and really Kiba seemed blank.

"You could say that," I respond, taking the picture back.

"What's going on with you?" He questions. The question could have meant so many things, and I was a little confused.

"What do you mean?" I finally say.

"You've been hanging around this guy so much. What's going on with you?"

Once again I was at a lose for words, but I found myself responding with a, "Nothing."

Kiba's eyes go back to the picture I'm still holding in my hand. "Are those rumors true?" He asks me with a serious tone.

"Yeah," I say in a quiet tone, feeling like if I said it any louder Kiba would explode.

"What's he done to you man?"

"He's done nothing, why do you always think he's done something?" I say with a little hint of anger in my voice.

"Because you weren't' like this before you met him. You weren't' gay! We use to look at magazines together and shit."

"People change Kiba, they find things out about themselves!" I was yelling as much as Kiba was, though I really didn't want the whole mall staring at us, at the same time I didn't care. If Kiba's gonna be an ass about this, then hell if I ain't gonna defend myself and Gaara!

"More like that freak fooled you into something. I told you to watch out for him, I don't' trust him at all," Kiba says in a lower tone now.

"You don't' know anything Kiba," I say also not so loud.

"You've changed," is the last thing he says to me before leaving. I felt such anger. Why do so many people have to be like this? Why do they have to…mark everything they don't' understand or agree with as bad….as demonic. I shake the last part of my though out of my head, not wanting to think of my hometown, and the stories that were told. Every were I go I seem to be rejected by the majority of people, maybe it's a curse, but I've stopped caring. I'm fine with only a couple of people that care about me, and don't care if they start spreading rumors about Gaara, and me. If they keep confronting me in the hallway wanting to show me how much gays aren't welcome in the school. All I care about is, staying with the few people that care about me.

Why is it that everything seems to be Gaara's fault? I mean if anyone's fooled anyone, then I think it would have been me that fooled Gaara. But I think he genuinely cares about me, and wants to be around me, but he isn't very sure exactly how to communicate that. Maybe we are both fooled. But I think we're both very serious about it, I don't think we want to be alone, and we found company with one another. I just feel so much for him, yet sometimes I want to read his mind, just to know how much he feels for me. Like I said Gaara isn't very good at communication, but I'm sure I'll find a reason in his past, to why he is the way he is. Then I can do a better job at reading him, and showing him how to communicate. As long as he's comfortable with it of course. I'm sure this is love, because the urge to want to protect him, and be around him is so strong. Ontop of that I've felt worried and a little different before when I don't see him . It's like I can't stand to be apart from him. So who really is the fool? But, I've already figured out that I'm in love, and I've told him so. He hasn't told me in words, but in his actions, I can tell he feels the same way. He's opened up so much, we are by each other's side even more know, I can sit so close to him, and he doesn't mind. I look at the picture that is still between my fingers. He does what I ask him to, with no question, he even laid his head on me. That was body contact; things have change, maybe just a little, but I'm very comfortable around him. I don't' feel like this is fake, I don't' feel like I've been fooled. Gaara just seems too innocent to have fooled me.

I tuck the picture back into my pocket, and head for the exit. I want to know about Gaara and his past, and I want to mend everything. Because he still seems just a little bit afraid, maybe he's lost someone he's cared about before. But he's willing….even if he does still hold that fear, he let me in, maybe forgetting that he could lose me. But I would never leave him, just to hurt him, I never want to hurt him. I suppose I will have to tell him about me as well. About my past and hometown. I actually don't' mind really. Usually I try not to talk about my home, and childhood. But I feel that if I tell him, he could relate to me. Man all this thinking about him, makes me want to go bother him….talk to him about what's happened….Nah, I'll save that for tomorrow.

**Gaara's POV**

I feel somewhat bored as I sit in my room. Evening's come and gone, and now it's well into the night. I think about how it would be rather nice to have my muse here, instead of feeling so isolated at the moment. I usually always feel isolated as if in a different world when I do not sleep. Because the world around me is at rest, and I'm wide awake.

I look at the pictures I had taken of Naruto yesterday. And I find that I really favor the one of use together. The word beautiful seems to easily pop up in my head as I look at the boy's face, and really I do not find it surprising any more. Rather I see it as a fact, I find the boy very attractive, I always have. That being the reason why I find him to be such a good model. Yet the feeling is somewhat odd at the same time. I continue looking over all the pictures of the boy, and the feeling stays there. What is it? I really can't explain it, just a feeling were you want to see more. Were you know and except you find this person very attractive, and you wish to see more. Different clothing's, and such. And my eyes focus only on specific spots. Like he's eyes and hair. Which I've always focused on, even in the passed describing him using those features, instead of calling him by name. When I think of him now I usually am always quick to use the words my muse. A pet name? I don't' know, but I feel a sort of pride when I call him that. My muse, no one else's. What an odd reason to want call someone that, the boy doesn't belong to me. He's free to do as he please and I do not care what he does…at least for the most part…

Things have changed, that is obvious. But I still find that I have no real sexual thoughts about the boy. Though I do enjoy seeing him with red upon his skin, and having him be like a porcelain doll which I can paint and dress up. But really I've never fantasized about us doing anything sexual. Though I do wonder how his blonde hair would feel. Either way just because I do not think such things doesn't mean I do not have affection towards him. After all I do feel a sort of emptiness when I'm not around him, I've gotten so use to him, so attached and it's still frightening. And I still wonder how it all came to this, not that I find my decision to become attached to him, a wrong one. No, but it still is a dangerous one. After all emotions are linked…that is another thing I've noticed. I get some joy out of seeing the boy happy, and I've had that sinking feeling before when I've seen him somewhat upset. All these things they are knew to me, or maybe just memories forgotten. Either way I don't mind them. I don't mind letting myself be attached to the nymph, because he's the only one who deserves this. I like him very much, I like being around him, listening to his voice. I like the artistic feelings he bring out in me, I like the strange idea's he rouses in my mind. It's bizarre and I don't' know if I've ever felt something like this, and it is truly a little straining actually.

He's the only one I will talk to…and maybe it would help to tell him some things, some thoughts I've never told anyone before. I remember when I use to think he had some sort of motive behind his actions, I see none really, and I trust him. However I do not trust anyone else, this school is still an annoying place, and home is still torture. Yet I somewhat forget that, when I listen to the blonde talk. When I see that sad smile graces his lips, and maybe his home is torture too, and we can understand one another. I don't' want to get so sentimental really. But all these things are new to me, and even if I think they are truly strange, I don't' mind them at all. It's rather nice not being so alone, though I doubt I would let anyone else near me, like I have let Naruto. I don't really like having friends, and Naruto was the only one who had actually managed to receive that title from me. Now he has a higher one, but I still do not wish for a friend, I do not like being around to many people, one person is enough for me. I still want my solitude, but occasionally I wish to share it with my muse.

I gather up all my picture and put them in a folder and into my night stand drawer. Then I lay down to see if maybe sleep would come. Indeed it actually feel over me as I could not keep my eyes open for much longer.

The next morning I go about getting my things gathered for class. I over slept just a little, and I hurry to pull on my cloths, after I've gotten my books. The bell rings, and I walk at a fast past to my classroom. As I always do I ignore stares given to me by my many classmates. Not really caring about their opinions about me, I never have. In photography, a few taunt me, about how my picture are mediocre and have no feeling, and that hey are depressing and emo just as I am. I hear them but do not respond and soon enough they lose interest in me. However my teacher doesn't as she calls me up to her desk.

"Gaara I'm concerned about…you subject matter…" she says it slowly as if she wanted me to understand her yet at the same time not be completely clear. I knew were this was going. I had a similar conversation with my art Teacher in sixth grade, about how morbid my pictures are. How maybe I should talk to the guidance counselor, or try and look on the brighter side of things, and incorporate that into my art.

"Is there something bothering you?" She asks ever so sweetly, and the tone annoyed me. She's judging me, thinking she knows me. Thinking I'm depressed suicidal, after all I am depicting death and sorrow in all my works.

"No," I say in a monotone voice. Her eyebrows met together in a frowned that spoke, 'I don't believe you.' She was about to say something else but when the bell rung I went to pick up my bag and left, ignoring her request for me to stay and talk. I have nothing to talk about. There is nothing wrong with me. Why do so many people miss understand? Why is it that if you are different, if you think just a little bit more on the darker side, there is something wrong with you? I go about my classes as usual and am happy when my last class comes around and I set myself next to Naruto. He didn't seem all that much like himself. It wasn't very noticeable I suppose, but there was something different, maybe something bothering him. The boy never judged me, really all the concern he's ever shown me was genuine. I sit in silence for a while before, without making eye contact decide to try and communicate that I'm alarmed.

"Something wrong?" I ask simply enough. Naruto's blue eyes light up, as if he wasn't at home before and the lights were just switched on.

"Oh, no. Why?" I simply shrug, not explaining that I felt as though he was a little bit out of it. A little less energetic, that and he hadn't noticed me sit down until I spoke to him. I listen to the teachers lecture, and quickly read the section, of the text book that was pointed out, while most everyone else spoke. Naruto seemed to try and read, but I could tell every once in a while he would glance over in my direction. Once the bell rang Naruto was quick to his feet and only inches away from my face.

"Why are people such bastards?" He asks me, with a frustrated tone in his voice.

"They just are…." I felt like maybe I should say something else to keep him talking, but I simply drifted off with my sentence. Naruto kept speaking anyway, letting me get my bag as we exited the room together.

"So it's not only the whole, I once again was hassled on my way to class shit. No, it's my friend, Kiba. I mean I really, really tried to brush it off. Saying it's not big deal, ya know? Saying I've always been rejected, and I started to think of you, just to make myself feel better. But in all truth it really bothers me how stupid people are! And how they call me stupid, but sometimes I think I'm smarter then them!" He was waving his arms wildly in the air. I don't' know if he noticed we passed the courtyard, but I kept right at his side, deciding if he want's to blow of steam, then I'll listen. I don't' know what else I could do, but listen.

"I mean it really wasn't bothering me that much until those guys bugged me this morning, and I got to thinking. Does Kiba feel the same way as them? Is he up there in his dorm telling Shino I'm gay, calling me a fag, and shit? I mean is it really that wrong? He had the nerve to blame you for everything!" He grabs the handle to my dorm room and walked inside still going on about how people are cruel, and always reject things. He sits down on my bed and there was a pause. I felt once again like I should say something, or maybe even do something, the only thing I could come up with though is to sit close to him, and keep listening if he has more to say. "I really am fine with just having you and Sasuke, but it still bothers me. I though Kiba was a good friend…"

"Sometimes you miss judge people…."I say this, thinking of my uncle.

"Yeah…I guess…" he says these words as if all his energy was drain from him. With the same effect he slumps to the side and rests his head on my shoulder. It surprised me for a moment, and I stiffened, but then relaxed after a while.

"Gaara…why don't you like people?" My muse asks with such innocence. Yes I suppose you could say I really do not like the majority of the human race, but I wouldn't say I hate people. I just don't like to be around the stereotypical and shallow ones. I don't' like to be around fake people, or people that think they know you, and I never wanted to become attached, because I've lost before. Everything I had was fake, and I didn't want that, I knew I wasn't fake so I came to trust only myself, live only for myself, and remind myself I'm alive. Live because there are to many that would celebrate my death, so why die for them? Life isn't always a happy place.

"I…do not…get along well with my family. So I never really grew up like a normal child, and decided to stay away from people, so the things that happened to me won't be repeated," I say simply enough. Naruto nods.

I had to ask nothing, my muse simply spoke, "I can understand that. I kinda did the opposite," he laughs, "I kept myself around people kinda to prove others wrong. In the end though…it's like I'm cursed…to be rejected by most everyone. Not have so many friends, and never become anything, because I came from nothing. If your nothing you can't become something.." The tone was so sad and it didn't suit my blonde at all. I didn't like it. I found myself putting an arm around the boy for a moment, and patting his shoulder, before pulling away.

"Other's can't say your nothing, if they don't even know you," is all I can think of to say. The sentence was barley above a whisper at that.

Nartuo gives me a wide smile. The one that tells everyone he's ok….or as he says it, the one he keeps on to ignore the fact everyone seems to dislike him for the most part. "Yeah, I'm just being retarded. Guess everyone needs a drama queen moment," he says keeping his smile. My face expression doesn't change, I still express a hint of worry on my lips. But Naruto seems to be good at dealing with things in a short and fast way, then pushing them aside, to never be though of again. To bad that's usually not how it works, sometimes things pile up. But I don't say anything I let the boy push the subject away, and start a new one. I tell him about how my photography teacher had called me up. Which made him laugh a little. I didn't really see what was so funny about it; but I thought to myself that it was nice to see him laugh, after he went into such depressing topic earlier. Not that I minded it.

Somewhere along our conversation he slipped his hand over mine, and soon intertwined them. He went on talking not noticing as I stared at our hands. I stare and try to find the right words to describe the texture of his skin. Why? I have no idea, but it was a nice feeling; his skin. It was kind of soft, but then it wasn't, but his skin wasn't rough either. In a way it reminded me of a pile of small fine grains of sand, the type I find at my beach. It was just a little rough but your feet didn't hurt, only if it was really hot, rather the sand almost felt like you were walking in foam. It's hard to explain, and it's not really that important. Naruto finally noticed my staring and pulled his hand away.

"Sorry," he says. I look at him with a blank sort of expression. He only gave me a smile, and put his hand back were it was, holding only a little tighter. I did the same in response, I don't understand why, but this made my muse smile, and go on with his words.

Days passed and it seemed that my photography teacher wanted an excuse. She made my project, which was finally due today, that excuse. Once again she called me up to her desk, other student's eyes followed me, however my expression stayed blank.

"I'm really concern, I think you should talk to a counselor. It may due you some good."

"Or it may do nothing," I say this really being the only time I ever have been rude to a teacher. But I don't appreciate her putting her noise in my business, assuming something is the matter with me. However the statement held little venom to it. Why waste my energy? The teacher gave me a stern look, and shook her head lightly.

"You'll never now until you try it," she says ever so sweetly. She then takes out a pass and writes it for me. I take it from her, and go for my bag, and leave the room that quickly filled up with whispers, and 'ooh' sounds. I left the room and went to Mrs. Tsunade's study hall. She's only in charge of the after noon study halls during the morning she's one of the counselors. I entered the room, and saw no one was there, except for the blonde women. I sit down in front of her giving her the detailed pass—or rather a note—which I suppose explains the situation. Then I sat back, and stayed quiet, I really didn't want to talk to her. There's nothing wrong with me, except that I occasional can't sleep, or that when I do sleep it's only a couple of hours. But that has nothing to do with my mental health.

"I've seen you and Naruto get picked on a lot lately. Does that bother you?" She starts of. I shrug, not wanting to open my mouth. It really doesn't, I could care less.

"Well you teacher's worried, she thinks there might be something you're not tell us. Something wrong?" I shake my head no. There was nothing.

"You're gonna be difficult, you think you don't need to talk to anyone. Fine, I'm not going to force you," she says and it looked like she was going to say more, but I didn't give her the chance, as I used her last sentence as an excuse to leave. I did so rather quickly. By the time I reach my class room the bell rings, and I had to head to my next one. Why should I change my art style just because my teacher is concerned? Art is an expression of yourself and what you feel, and believe, and see. Naruto of course helped me finish up the project, last weekend we went out taking pictures again. I wish there were more building worth being photograph in this town but sadly there aren't. Then yesterday he kept me company while I fit the photo's together to form the image of an hourglass.

The last class of the day was a relief, as I got to see my muse. Though I wasn't happy when I noticed the bruise under his eye. "Who did that?" I say it as if I don't care, but that's only out of habit.

"Two guys decided a fag shouldn't be in the shower room when everyone else is taking a shower," he explains with anger clearly lacing his voice. "That's fine though, kicked their ass worse then they kicked mine," he says taking out his text book. The class then began.

We sit in the courtyard now, ignoring the looks given to use, along with the occasional laugh when they noticed Naruto's black eye.

"All this crap is really starting to piss me off!" He almost screamed the statement. "Why only me? I'm sure there are other gays in this school! I know there are! Why only me…" he trails of. The statement was true they've given Naruto most of their attention, hardly bothering with me.

"People can be cruel, but they also tend to lose interest," I try and provide some sort of comfort. Naruto smiles softly when he feels my hand on his, and I really wasn't so sure of myself. But it seemed like I was helping, so I held him firmly. Naruto looked so at peace, with that faint smile on his lips, and him being so close, our hands intertwined, it invoked an odd feeling in the pit of my stomach.

**Naruto's POV**

The last couple of weeks have been hell, and even though I try to play it off, and ignore it, the whole Kiba thing bothers me. Kiba was there in the bathroom when I was being beat up, he stopped and stared for just a moment before leaving. It kinda broke a part of me. I mean he must hate me, all because I love Gaara? I let out a sigh and rest my head on Gaara's shoulder, not caring that we're in the courtyard and that people are watching us with disgust in their eyes. I don't care, if this only leads to another attempt at beating me up. I can damn well defend myself! Anyway, if Gaara's all right with holding hands here, then I am too. Other then all the other shit that's been going on, really I've been rather happy.

" Have you made up your mind about the talent show?" Gaara says in a low tone.

"No not really, but I know I need to. I mean it's coming closer and closer acts are probably filling up," I muse. People were staring at us, whispers went threw out the courtyard, and damn it I ignored them all. I wanted peace, I didn't want to think of all those bastards around us. I told Sasuke about what happened to me and Kiba, he told me to not worry about it. Sasuke's really been with drawn, more then usual, or maybe it's just that I'm not around him so much. "So how was your day?" I ask Gaara, knowing he'll answer me easily. I know his day wasn't as bad as mine, seeing as no ones brave enough to mess with him.

"I was sent to a guidance counselor. My photography teacher is convinced I'm mentally disturb or something," he tells me.

"This place doesn't seem to understand us," I lean back on my one hand, and let out a long breath. Things are really starting to get frustrating. A throb ran threw my face, and I touch the bruise under my eye, with a little hiss.

"Does it hurt badly?" Gaara questions, simply.

"It's nothing I can't handle," I sit up straight and wave my hand in dismissal. Really I like that I only have one hand free, it's just so nice holding Gaara's hand. Green eyes studied me for a while. Looking at my black eye. I held his gaze, and noted that even though for the most part Gaara's face was expressionless, there was some concern hidden behind those green eyes. I like Gaara's eyes most of all, because you can understand him better threw his eyes, that and there such an awesome color! Mine are just a boring blue. Blue eyes and blonde hair, tones of people have that! But Gaara's unique, acutely he's the first red head I've seen who doesn't have freckles, even though his skin is just as pale. I lightly, but just lightly, brush my lips over his. Gaara didn't even seem to be surprised, or maybe I just didn't notice. But he softly returned the gesture in a short moment before pulling away, and looking at the front gate. I smile, I actually wanted Gaara to make the first steps, but it seems that somehow I'm ending up doing it. Though Gaara doesn't seem to care. Well I don't know if you wanna count that as a kiss…but I will. Even though it was more like touching our lips together really, but still. I'm definitely going to wait for Gaara to give me the first 'real' kiss. But no harm in helping him along a little, right?

A/N: Well that's it. A little bit of drama. I little bit more of a reintroduction to Naruto's mysterious childhood. And most importantly a little bit of growth in Gaara's ….mmm how can I put this. Growth in his sexual instinct? Well either way, there was a lot of development. Sorry for the somewhat late update had some stuff to do along with vacation, and schools coming soon.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21: Discovery

**Gaara's POV**

I look at the gate of the school entrance, ignoring the large amount of people that have stopped in their tracks. Some slowly go on with looks of disgust on their faces whispering vile things with appalled expressions contorting their faces. My muse doesn't seem to notice them, his eyes are only on me. Alight smile on his lips I noticed out of the corner of my eye. I was over come with a strange feeling of looking anywhere but at him. Finally I got to my feet and with a wave of my hand the blonde followed behind me. Close enough but not in my sight. I didn't want to just walk away and leave him alone, I know those boys who are still standing and staring at use would start something with him. I felt like I needed to protect him…I've never felt like I've needed to protect anyone…but maybe myself. Protect myself from the world that annoys me so, that seems to have no place for me. Protect my ideals, my thoughts, from those who try and make me just another one of them. But I'm not like them, Naruto knows this….and he's not like them either. He even takes pride in his strangeness, even though it causes him rejection. Something I know he deeply hates and fears.

I was not surprised when a sudden angry yell came from my blonde; as he was pulled away from my side by a fellow student. A quick insult such as, "Keep your fag habit out of the site of others. We'd like to keep our lunch in our stomach," was spouted, before a struggle between them took place. Naruto was very angry, most likely feed up by all the violence that has been directed towards him. Not wanting Naruto to get hurt even more then he has in the past, I step in. My interrupting their picking on Naruto—their usual victim—seemed to cause them problems. Naruto was pushed away by the boy, who was ready to defend himself completely from me. I knew I struck fear into his heart, by the simple way he looked at me. I wasn't going to hit him, I simply wanted to make sure Naruto was safe. However confused by my lack of violence, the boy lashes out. Soon on lookers joined in, and it became a three on one struggle. Naruto tried to help but was held back, by two other boys cheering the fight on. I had no fear of getting hurt I could really careless. I almost didn't feel the blows that were given to me, as if an armor surrounded my skin. In the end my lack of feeling and self-defense was what got the other boys in trouble, and got me off the hook. Not having engaged in much of the fighting instead just dealing with their attacks, the teacher who finally broke up the fight was only interested in the three boys who ganged up on me. Screams of freak, witch and fag were directed at me, as the teacher dragged them away to the principle's office. While others looked on. I turned to Naruto, who's blue eyes still held furry. I don't know how to respond to this. Was he angry with me, for stepping in? Did he take the action as me thinking he's weaker? All worry left my mind, when his hand reached out for my wrist a glare shot at all those still surrounding us, and they moved out of our way as he pulled me into a building.

I soon find myself in his dorm. We were alone, his roommate not occupying the space.

"Ah! This just pisses me off so damn much, little fucking narrow minded…!" He didn't finish his sentence rather he looks as if he's trying to count to ten in an attempt to calm himself down maybe. He lets himself drop onto his mattress next to were he had sat me down. I was looking at the floor, and I hadn't at all noticed I was bleeding, Until I felt a cloth on my forehead, pressed there by my muse. When I looked at him, there was a soft expression and I was amazed at how easily the boy's mood seemed to change. The look he held in his eyes made me turn away, still not sure how to respond or communicate right with the boy, though he can speak without even opening his mouth.

"I guess it's really my fault," He sighs. And never had an outlet of breath ever sounded so pleasant. The pressure leaves the side of my head, only to be replaced with a tender touch. I didn't wince at the very faint sting that the touch caused. Rather there was another feeling entirely, and for a moment it felt like my mind stopped. The odd feeling only increased when I saw the blood stained finger tips of my muse, be wiped clean. Red was such a nice color on the blonde…or at least in my opinion. My eyes quickly dart to examine his face, to see if he got hurt. He didn't, though his earlier black eye is still noticeable. I touch my own wound and finally speak, the silence had seemed like forever. I could not stand it any longer.

"It's something we'll have to deal with", I say in a monotone voice. Stating a fact that perhaps both of use didn't really want to hear. My fingers trailed down from the still slightly bleeding cut on my head, to my lips. I did not taste my own blood rather, I was thinking back to the feather light kiss I had shared with Naruto, that caused such uproar. When I make eye contact with Naruto again—my hand still lingering at my lip—I notice a almost hypnotized look occupied his features. The way his mouth was slightly open, and how he swallowed hard as if there was a lump in his through, almost made me smirk. But I didn't, rarely does my expression change. I've smirked before in attempts to scare away unwanted company, it works. I do not wish to scare of Naruto, so I do not smirk.

This whole situation at the moment, seemed to be…I felt like I was in slow motion. That I had to do something specific to get the speed back to normal. I noticed everything Naruto did. I saw how he slightly shifted, and how his tongue for a moment almost going unseen touches his bottom lip. In all truth the gesture seemed inviting, it made my body heat up. What is this? I felt myself sweat a dry sweat, an impossible feat yet it was happening. All that seemed to run threw my mind was the 'kiss', my muse gave me, and how it made me feel very at peace. Yet also somewhat embarrassed. Even though that's not exactly the word I would choose to explain it, it's the only one I can think of. My mind doesn't seem to want to think of good words to explain things, it doesn't' seem to want to explain anything. But I need it to, for I'm a little confused, mainly because everything is still so new. Especially this almost primal part of my mind, which seems to block out logic, the explanations. It screams at me, I've never heard it before so I don't hear any words. Still it yells, and I feel blind. All I can do is feel, and I was surprised only for a moment when I felt arms around me, and my lips molded to Naruto's. When had that happened? It didn't seem important. My deprived body who hardly ever got as much as a hug in its childhood wanted touch, and it wanted it badly. It felt comforting, I felt secure, safe. Attached and without fear of lose or betrayal.

Then sound came back to me, my ears deciding to stop focusing on the inner primal screams that only sounded like babble. I hear a soft moan, and I felt my hand pull my muse closer. My hand wanting to be around something, around another breathing body. Then I pulled away and my sight came back along with my breathing. Both Naruto and I took in air, in harsh rapid breaths. We stared at each other, for some unknown reason. Maybe it was another sort of communication that I can finally take part in. And whatever it was that I was saying caused Naruto to give me soft kiss on the side of my head, were my wound was. Again that slight stinging, and that pleasurable feeling ran threw me. It was nice. This was nice. I've always enjoyed Naruto's company, just listening to him speak was enough to keep me content. Just thinking about how different he is from me, and how his traits complement mine, it was enough. But having his company in this way was likable as well.

Presently I wait outside the auditorium. Naruto has finally gone to sign up for the talent show. I'm waiting to hear the results and afterwards Naruto wanted to have some time off campus. He said he wanted to get away from the ass wholes for a little while, then he went on talking about a date. I suppose we haven't been on a real date….I have only a vague idea of what a 'real' date consists of. I would think a date is just like spending time with one another, so why does it have to have a special name? I didn't question Naruto about it, mainly because he happily disappeared into the auditorium soon after.

"I'm in!" The sudden yell surprised me only a little. I look to find Naruto looking down at me, with a grin upon his face. "Now lets go out for some ice-cream. I know you don't have much of a sweet tooth but I'm sure green tea ice-cream isn't that sweet," he explains. I get to my feet and we take our leave.

**Naruto's POV**

Even though our school situation sucks ass, I'm pretty happy today. I finally signed up for that talent show, and just in time too there were only two more spots left. Then of course the discovery that Gaara's a wonderful kisser! I wasn't expecting a kiss from him so soon, but I guess that little peak I gave him made him curious. Really I think everything is developing nicely, not to fast not to slow, at least in my opinion. And if it starts to slow down from here on, that's fine by me. Gaara's worth waiting for, and I'd rather have something going at a slow past then going way to fast. But like I've said before the physical isn't everything, and today I hope I'll get some information about Gaara's home life. I'm willing to give him some imfo. on my past, I really don't' mind. If it's him I'm telling, then I don't mind diving back into those uncomfortable waters of my childhood. As long as he'll shed some light for me, so that I may understand him even better then I already do.

With ice cream in hand we sit down at a little table outside in front of the ice cream shop in the plaza we had gone to once before. I got two scoops, one chocolate the other vanilla. Gaara didn't want too much sugar and it's obvious because he doesn't have a cone at all and did indeed order Green Tea ice cream. I quickly start up a casual conversation, nothing to deep for now. But I couldn't help but feel excited at the though. However when I try to 'smoothly' bring up the topic of Gaara's home life, it didn't' work out to good.

Green eyes simply look at me as I finish my badly put together question, about were he lives and how he gets along with his brother. He seemed to think something over before starting to answer the question in a low mumble.

"I live in a rather big house. I don't' get along well with my brother…Why?" He asks me as if I was one of those annoying people at our school that bothered him. I didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable and I hadn't though I let out a sigh, until Gaara tilted his head back in question.

"Oh…just wondering is all."

"Are you still hung up about when I cut my fingers?" There was no hint of anger in his voice, but I felt like I was aggravating him. Knowing Gaara though, he's probably trying to analyze why I'm asking questions. I wonder does he still not trust me completely? The though made my heart sink, and being the loud mouth I am I wasn't about to not ask.

"Do you not trust me or something? You make it sound like I've done something horrible by asking you this question."

"It's not that….I've just never really spoken much about this topic. I've gotten use to the fact that you ask and do strange things," he says casually, while bringing some more ice cream to his lips. Weird? How is this weird? But I guess to Gaara it would be, even if he's gotten use to me, he's still out of touch with society. But that's the way I like him! I don't' want him to be just like everyone else. I give him my signature grin.

"So who'd you play with if you don't get along with you brother?" I ask trying to keep the conversation going.

"….My uncle…" I swear the moment those words came out of his mouth, everything got dark. The atmosphere seemed heavy.

Trying to change the subject I say something about myself, "I usually played by myself." It was just to distract from the heaviness that seemed to come over use, but it worked a little too well. Gaara's eyes studied me before he asked me a question.

"What about your parents? Did they not play with you?'

"No, don't much remember anything about my parents. They died when I was real young," I say with no sadness in my voice what so ever. Though my mind seemed to sink a little with the memories filling it. It was barley noticeable, but a little wrinkle in the middle of Gaara's forehead told me, he gave me a little pity. Even if it only lasted a short while. I didn't let an awkward silence falls over us, instead quickly starting to talk about something; anything else. We soon finished our ice cream, and Gaara was leading me along, as I spoke of things he might not be finding interesting. But hell who cares, I'm talking about it anyway. I was surprised when Gaara turned to me suddenly.

"Were you adopted by someone?" He asked. I gave him a blank look but he waited for an answer.

"Eventually," I answer.

"They're nice to you aren't they?"

"Yup, I'm real fond of him, why?"

"Just…you know more about people. So you must have been taught."

"Taught? I guess, I wasn't always around people. I was usually alone, in the home. Not a lot of kids would play with me, and stuff. Never really let it get to me…to much," I say softly.

"Well, it's good that happened," he says mater of factly.

"I don't know if I would say that."

"I wouldn't want to change much if anything about my passed. It's stupid to think that. Your past molded you, and I like to have your company," he says. Really just making small talk, and communicating his feelings. Maybe even trying to find out a little bit more about me. I liked his interest, and his beat around the bush way of saying 'I love you'. I smile brightly and was about to say something, but all thought left me when I spotted Kiba. Him and Shino were only a couple of steps in front of us, and I really didn't want to walk past them. But I have no choice, do I? Unless I just drag Gaara across the parking lot that's in the middle of the plaza. I wonder if Kiba would just ignore me and pass me by. The bastard probably would, just like he'd ignored me when I was getting beat up that one time!

**Gaara's POV**

Naruto's eyebrows came together in a sign of slight annoyance. Though I couldn't fully understand why until I followed his eyes. He was looking at a boy, I believe it was one of his friends or something. Or possibly one of the boys that had once picked on him, which would explain the anger coming off of him. I don't say anything about it, what is there to say? Best to just pass by and ignore it and hope no one will act stupid and start something.

"Kiba!" Obviously Naruto didn't have the same in mind. He strides over to the boy, who held a look of surprise on his face for a moment. I stop were I am, not really wanting to get involved. However I was close enough to be able to stop a fight if one broke out. I wouldn't want Naruto getting hurt. But this was something emotional I could see the drama coming, and I know nothing of such things. I would only get in the way or be confused to why some people wear their heart on their selves—though I suppose that is one of the qualities I admire about Naruto. Also I would most likely hear the word fag, and I really am not in the mood of dealing with ignorant people today. Wasn't today suppose to be a date? I watch the two boys, they had started a conversation. I could hear it, because Naruto was being loud, and the other boy was being defensive.

"Some friend you are man!" Came a yell from Naruto though they've already been well into shouting at one another.

"You've changed," the other yelled, and it went on like that for a long while before actually intellectual dialogue started. The explanation of emotions.

"See that's exactly why I didn't tell you, I knew you'd react badly. But to just completely ditch me the way you did, and ignore me when I was getting beat up. No matter what happened between use Kiba I would have stepped in!"

"Yeah well, it was kinda odd! I can't say I agree with what he's done to you Naruto! I though maybe it would help, you'd let go of this weird obsession!"

"Stop blaming him! I'm still me!" The brown haired boy looked around and shook his head.

"I'd rather not talk about it, not with him around," he gestures towards me. "I'd rather talk to a less brain washed Naruto. The one I use to know." With that said he walks passed Naruto who watches him with disappointment in his eyes. The boy shoves me as he passes me by glaring at me. I could care less, I had figured out during their yelling that I was the 'him' and the 'he'. Naruto let out a scream in his hands that was so high pitched for a moment I hadn't even thought it was him who was screaming. It was one of those screams you do when you shove your head into a pillow out of anger and frustration. He then comes to my side, taking my hand and pulling me along.

I know I should say something, to calm him or comfort him, but I had no clue were to start. It's easier for me to just listen, and usually when I wait long enough Naruto will burst out into a rant. Then I can listen, listening being the only comfort I can truly give, if I tried to comfort him I know something will go wrong. This fight is in the department of friends, a topic that he has taught me about, so I don't know much more then what I experienced with him. And now we are beyond friendship, we are something more. But I think he understands that I'm not the best at these sorts of situations, he will speak up when he can't hold it in anymore.

We are now on the side walk, not to far away from our school. Naruto slowed his passed, and is keeping to himself, something I don't like. I nudge him, not knowing what else to do, trying to get him to open up. Brooding within himself isn't the most therapeutic thing to do. When his blue eyes land on me, they change instantly from their kept in anger, to a deep depression. Obviously the problem isn't just his friend, there's something else but what? I keep eye contact with him, waiting for him to speak. He lets out a sigh, in preparation.

"It's just like…the stories I've heard about my parents. The whole forbidden love shit…am I reliving their lives just in a different version? Why do people think they have a right to choice other peoples lovers. People that are right for them, that are the same nationality, and social status then them. Love doesn't care about that shit, it's people who do!" I didn't push him to elaborate, I could see the sadness in his ocean eyes, and if it pained him to speak then he didn't have to. But he went on anyway, letting me see his pain, and despair.

"I'm just sick of people driving each other insane to the point of murder, and violence…." Had his parents been killed because of disapproval to their marriage? I wasn't going to ask. I knew what he was talking about. I've seen it happen, people going insane, people making me insane. All of it leading to attempts at murder, and accidental death. I decided I would share this with him.

"I know how that is. It's happened to me before, I also don't' want to repeat the past."

**A/N:** I haven't been updating for personal reasons, updates from here on out will be irregular.


	22. Chapter 22

Naruto: Sing your heart out

**Naruto's POV**

Finally it's October! This moths awesome not only cause I'm going to have my birthday on Wednesday, but the talent shows coming up tomorrow. Even though I'm happy about these two events, one event never occurred. I hadn't had the chance to speak to Kiba at all, even though he said he'd rather not talk with Gaara around, I think he really meant he'd rather not talk to me at all. But that's fine, I don't care, I try not to let his behavior get to me. Anyway I still have Sasuke. He's been rather cheerful lately, when I point it out; he gets all defensive about it. So I poke at him, to tease him, and also try and find out what's making him so happy. Even though it is October it's still a little warm but it's finally cooling off, and it's doing something to Gaara. He wants to sit outside more often, usually wanting to sit with me. Even going as far as to come get me when I'm not there at the moment. But today he was inside his room working on something. I though it was kinda cute the way he shoved me out of his dorm room, trying to hide the painting. I didn't get a good look at it, but I saw paints on the floor, and a canvas. I wonder if it's a b-day present for me! Though he seems to drift off into thought a lot, ever since our date. He usually does that when we're sitting outside in the courtyard—people still staring with disgust at us of course. But I can't say I haven't been doing that myself. The more and more people are trying to rip us apart, the more I hear people tell me this is wrong…the more I think about the stories Iruka told me about my parents. The more I hope we won't end up like them…

A flash gives me a moment of blindness. Then Gaara takes the camera away from his face. He was in a very awkward position, towering over me. I'm lying on his bed. I guess I zoned out. When he was about to get off the bed—I've gotten use to the random pictures Gaara takes—I grab him and pull him down ontop of me.

"Taking pictures again huh?" I say in a teasing voice, holding playful aggravation.

"Yes," he says plainly, making sure the camera wasn't damaged when he was pulled down ontop of me. I kiss him, I suppose my random attacks of intimacy is what he's gotten use to. He only slightly hesitates for a brief moment, before passionately kissing me back. I guess you could say we've become more playful. Maybe it's just the nature of a teenage body to eventually want to explore a little more, dare I say get frisky. But still we're exploring one anothers' mouths, nothing past tongue kissing as occurred between us. And god damn Gaara has a skillful tongue! Speaking of which, I try to lure that tongue into my mouth. But Gaara's not in the mood, and pulls away; leaving me to pout. He ignores the facial expression, and sits next to me on the bed. I sit up, with a loud sigh, to show that I'm disappointed that we didn't get to 'play'. Mainly just to annoy him.

He doesn't even hear my sigh I just watch him go off into a thoughtful state, just like the one I was in earlier.

"What's on your mind?" I ask softly.

He shakes his head, not answering my question, instead turning it back on me. "You've been out of it lately, how about you. What's been on your mind?" he questions in a monotone voice that almost sounded like he didn't care, but I know better.

I shrug, "A bunch of stuff," I say vaguely. The insults we get from our school mates have increased how ever violence hasn't. No one picks fights with me anymore, since that one day those two boys got caught by a teacher. However tones of notes are tapped and glued to both mine and Gaara's door. I've learned to ignore them, but you know seeing them every day can bring you down.

"Are you thinking about us repeating the past?" His voice sounded so far off when he spoke those words. But his tone didn't change from the even uncaring manner he always holds. However when I looked him in the eyes, no matter how blank his expression may have looked his eyes held something horrible. As though they were waiting for me to say yes, and that that yes would mean the end. All because people are acting so immaturely? All because this relationship reminds me of the tales told of my parents? I wouldn't want to end this all because of that, but I suppose Gaara still has some of those old habits and thoughts. Someone abandoned him a long while ago, and he thinks I'll do the same.

"Was it your uncle that left you?" I ask. There was no answer, it seemed that for once the red head was being childish. He acted as though he didn't hear me. His Green eyes were fixed on the camera, fumbling with it, as if it were broken and needed fixin'.

"Yeah I'm thinking about how we're repeating the past. But don't think just cause I go off into that kinda thought that I'm just gonna up a leave you. You can't get rid of me that easily. It's just…do you think…insanity can run in a family?" I question. Finally his eyes land on me.

"Yes," he says plainly.

"Well I hope I don't' end up like my mom. That's why most everyone in my home town hates me, I'm a lot like my mother…" I drift off thinking about the tale that was spun about my mother, how everyone disapproved of her. I know the story Iruka told me was true. I know because he actually knew my parents, not very well, but better then most.

"Insanity runs in a family…doesn't mean everyone has the same sort of mental disability though…" Gaara mumbles.

"So I might be a different kind of insane," I echo back in simpler terms. Gaara gives a brisk nod, before putting the camera aside.

"My uncle didn't really leave me…in the sense you're thinking of…"he whispered, I could barley hear him. But I didn't want him to speak up, he was opening up a little to me. He didn't want to speak loudly, I don't' even think he was sure he really wanted to tell me. Or was it he didn't want to pull out the memories.

"Oh," I didn't know what else to say, but I felt like I had to make some sort of noise.

"Some people…just aren't what you think they are…" he says lowly. My eyebrows frown together as I watch a sort of angry expression come over him. He didn't want to say anymore, and I didn't want him to continue. I remember he had said words like that before….

"Well with me, what you see is what you get," an attempt at comforting. The anger disappeared form my red heads face, though it wasn't replaced with a smile. I knew I helped; if not just a little.

"I know, I couldn't imagine you would be able to hide much of anything," he says bluntly. I was about to protest when at that moment Kankuro, Gaara's brother—who's name I only recently learned—came in. He eyed us, and then walked over to his bed. Gaara gave me and expecting glance. I hop of the bed, with a grin on my face.

"See you tomorrow. And you better be at the Talent show tomorrow too," I add, when the thought came to me. I already knew the song I was going to sing, and I had learned the lyrics rather quickly. Of course it was one of my favorite songs, so it was easy. Sasuke doesn't complain when I sing the song for practice, instead I could have swore last time a smile came across his lips. I really need to find out what's been making him so damn happy!

I enter my dorm to find Sasuke typing away on his computer. "Aren't you back early," he mumbles.

""Gaara's brother came in and pooped the party," I say. "Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing," Sasuke replays in a plain voice.

"You've sure been doing a whole lot of nothing lately. Making you real cheerful," I push.

"So?' Sasuke rolls his eyes.

"So I wanna know what's going on. You can't keep secrets from me!" I whine.

"You're not going to let it go are you?'

"Nope, I mean I tell you a bunch of stuff that's going on in my life. Don't you think I have a right to know?"

"Not really," he says only taking a short pause from his typing to tell me so.

"Oh come on!"

"Fine…I've…met someone," he mumbles, and I can see light pink creeping up to his cheeks. I grinned the biggest grin a could, and made a childish 'oooh' sound. Sasuke turned around quickly and shot a glare at me, which only made me laugh.

"I'm happy for you," I tell him honestly. "Where'd you met them?"

"I've know them…for a while…" he says vaguely.

"Oh ok. Is it someone form this school?" I ask innocently enough.

"Do you really need to know all he details?"

"I guess not," I sigh out, rolling my eyes. Sasuke can be so secretive.

**Gaara's POV**

My brother keeps to himself. I suppose it's not expected for Naruto to leave when he comes in, but I rather have my privacy with the boy. My brother doesn't' need to know what it is we talk about. I doubt that he cares, though he does give us an odd look every time he sees us together. I know he knows we're more then friends, it's hard to miss all those rumors.

"I told Temari," he says suddenly. I didn't want to talk to him, but I did make eye contact, wondering what exactly it is he told our sister. "About you and that little idiot blonde of yours." I glare at him, he has no right to tell her such a thing. That it my business, and mine alone. On top of that he shouldn't speak about Naruto like that. So many people think he's not intelligent, he may not be very smart, but he's no idiot either. He thinks differently, and tries not to think to deeply, not because he's unable to, just because he doesn't wish to. Sometimes when you start analyzing and thinking to deeply it only leads to depression.

"Don't look at me like that. You're lucky I didn't tell dad, he'd hate you even more then he does now," Kankuro says bluntly. However I was indeed grateful for that fact. The last thing I need is going home for Christmas, and having my father breathe curses down my neck. Calling me a disgusting murder. I think back to Naruto, it seems that the past will eventually have to be dug up. I can't very well count on my sister not to slip up eventually about my situation, with my father in ear shot. It will most likely happen when I'm around, and she attempts to bond with me. Temari is the only one in my family who dose so, the only one who holds some kindness to her. But I still know she holds some bitterness towards me, after all my hands are stained. Not with blood but sin none the less. I didn't want to speak to my brother any long, and it seems he as nothing else to say.

I take out my sketch book, shading in he miniature of the painting I'm doing for my muse. Simply to pass the time, I do not want to work on the painting itself with my brother present. I worry that Naruto will look at me differently if I tell him too much about my childhood. But at the same time, it feels somewhat pleasant telling him little bits about it, I suppose I've been holding it in for a long time. I've never really cared to tell anyone, but Naruto seems to want to know. However that doesn't lessen my fear. It's not that I myself believe that I've brutally killed my uncle, its' just something that I believe doesn't need to be talked about. Not even Naruto really needs to know, but what sort of honesty is that? My muse is but a book, open to be read, how can I not give him a little bit of the same courtesy?

I focus on the miniature that I'm shading. I hope that my blond will like the painting. It is a painting of the both of use. He is sitting on a iron stole, the metal bent to look like vines and leaves. Wings sprout from his back, his clothing a light pale orange rob. He looks down at me, I am resting my head on his lap. His hand pets my hair, my face is partly cover by my arm which also lays on Naruto's thigh. In the background is a setting sun, and autumn trees. Both of which will be painted different shades of orange, in the finally painting. I was sure to design the painting around his favorite color.

I haven't cut my finger tips, to see the red essence that flows within me. Rather I've been thinking about the blood that must be pumping under Naruto's tanned skin. The though is almost erotic, the image of red upon the blondes skin all to appealing. However I would never tell him this, nor would I attempt to harm him. I would rather cut myself, not him. Though I would like to see, the proof of his existence. It's a strange desire, and it haunts me. Is it because my mind keeps playing back the bloodless corpse of my Uncle. The fact that no blood stained the floor made the situation seem like a dream, so to make sure that it was not a dream…I had tested my skin. I remember after my father had almost beaten me half to death, after the ambulance and police came, I had pricked my finger tip with a knife. Making sure that I wasn't dreaming. Indeed I wasn't, the habit stuck. The want to see blood to be sure I am alive still stays with me. And I suppose behind that is my reason for wanting to see the red substance on Naruto. To prove he is not a dream.

I've gotten use to the kisses he gives me. I let him do so, even indulging in his action. I really enjoy his soft full lips upon my rather thin ones. I like the feel of his skin against mine in any manner, and I even want to experience more of that sensation. A distant part of my mind, telling me that there is so much more that I could experience with him. Though I do not know what it is exactly.

Night comes all too soon, and when my brother was fast asleep I pulled out my painting. I don't know when I'll have time to work on it, seeing as Naruto almost walked in on me today, any time I can get alone to work on it is a blessing. I'm not even near half way done. I silently paint threw the night, my mind only on my work. When my clock told me it was ix in the morning, I put away the painting. I had gotten a lot done during the night, though it's still not done. I don't want to rush the process, and I believe I've deserved a break for now. Sleep was not at all tugging on my eyelids, actually I felt wide awake, it was no surprise. Garbing some clothes out of my dresser I slip into fresh attire. I open the door and walk out into the hallway, intent on sitting in the courtyard, until my muse came to bother me. I ignored the notes on my door, along with the laughter that echoed down the hall. The sound of feet telling me, that a couple of the notes had just been put on. I didn't bother to read them, I didn't even bother to take them off. It was pathetic the way most of the people were reacting to Naruto and me. It wasn't any of their business, but they made it their duty to remind us of how cruel people can sometimes be. I think back to Naruto's words, about insanity about repeating the past, about how he seems to be hated by his whole home town.

It's because of Naruto's' pain that I don't' mind sharing my own with him. Still I wonder how he'll react once I tell him everything. I'm still debating if I should in fact tell him everything. I make my way down the hall, and to the outside. The cool air chilled me, the mornings have become pleasantly cold since the start of October. I enjoy this moth, because it seems to be a darker moth. A time for death, a time for everything to go to sleep and calm down, to rest. I suppose it is Ironic that I like October, and if I were to openly say so, I'm sure it would only have people truly believe I am a witch. Not that I care. Also I find it a pleasant surprise that my muse's date of birth is in this month.

I watch the empty courtyard slowly fill up. For once my presence was ignored, as things were towed to the auditorium for the talent show. Others leaving the school gate to go shopping perhaps, and some heading in the direction of the library. The sun also traveled in it's busy pattern, and it was near noon, when my blonde muse showed his cheerful face.

"I'm so excited," he exclaimed, siting himself down next to me.

"What song is it that you're going to sing?" I question, noticing that he hadn't told me and I hadn't asked.

"Oh you'll find out, just be sure you come to the talent show. Sasuke even offered to go with you, " my muse explains. As I look at his smiling face, I start to wonder yet again what expression that face would hold if I told him of my past sin.

"There you go again. What's on your mind?" Naruto asks, curiously, as he notices my mind drift off.

"It's nothing," I mumble.

"Are you sure nothing's bother you?" He pressed. I shake my head slightly, to indicate I didn't want to talk about it. After all I can't simply tell him, 'I'm just wondering how you would react if I told you I've killed someone.' I try to focus on the ground in front of me, as Naruto starts to speak about how excited he is about the talent show, and that he wouldn't care if he got booed, and so on and so forth. Even though I tried desperately to pay attention to the lovely melody that was Naruto's voice, my mind continuously went back to the subject of my uncle. It nagged me, a fear that one day I will have to tell Naruto. Could I truly keep it secret from hi? Was it something that needed to be exposed? Yes it was, and a large part of me wanted to tell him. Mainly to see his reaction. Seeing as how strange a creature the boy was, he reaction wouldn't be like that of other people. Or so I hope. On top of that I wanted to test him. Yes that was a very strong reason behind revealing my childhood to him. I've come to trust the boy, I've become attached. He's become attached to me, and if he truly is bounded to me, then he wouldn't care. He wouldn't' understand, wouldn't he?

"Naruto?" I found myself speaking his name before I could stop my self. At once I got the boys attention. I paused only a moment before asking him, "What do you think about murder?" It's a rather dumb question. Of course he would be against it, it would be odd, even in my opinion somewhat sick if he said he was completely for killing people.

"It's bad…why?" He asks, that innocent glow of his never leaving.

My eyes darted around to make sure no one was in hearing range. Then in a whisper I speak again. "What if I told you…I've taken someone's life?"

"Who?" The question was quick and to the point.

"My uncle," I mumble. Looking out into the distance. I didn't hear a gasp I heard nothing for a long time, but I did not shift my eyes to look at my muse.

"Why?" He whispered the question.

"It was a sort of accident," I explain in an uncaring voice. In fact it was partly an accident. One that he deserved in my opinion. I know it is very cruel to say anyone deserved death, but my Uncle though that I deserved death. He strung me along, surrounding me in an illusion of happiness. Naruto didn't make a sound, he didn't get up, he simply sat there. After a long silence I felt compelled to tell him more, to justify myself perhaps.

"He had tried to kill me once, before that time. He had tucked me into bed, and 'accidentally' knocked over two rather large scented candles that were at my bedside. I tried to get his attention, but he ignored me, leaving my room and locking the door. I struggled out from under my covers, but I was to late. The small candle flames had engulfed the entire carpet that covered the wooden floor. I went to my door, and knocked on it frantically. I could see the shadow on the other side, my uncle was sitting on the other end. I ask him to open the door to help me, but I only got a whisper. "It's better this way, go to your mother. Go be with my sister who's life you took." I was confused, but finally my sister had started to scream, saying there was smoke, and that the house was on fire. I could hear my father, telling her to get Kankuro and go outside. I don't know what prompted my uncle to finally open the door. Maybe he didn't want to be blamed for the fire, maybe he wanted to draw attention away from himself. If asked he'd say that he was at my door to help me out, not because he started the fire," I found it rather simple to tell Naruto this story. I've never told anyone before, but it came easy. I still didn't look at he blonde's face. I continue.

"My mother had killed herself. After my birth she went insane, and started hearing voices. I remember very little of her, but I know that she always begged me to make them stop. I was three years old around that time. After a while when I refused to make 'them' shut up—mainly because I was to young and confused to know what do to help her—she started blaming me. She started to stay as fare away from me as she could. Of course I didn't get the hint, and eventually she only saw death as a way out. She hung herself. Of course for years my father and siblings blamed me for her suicide, they still do. However my uncle told me that it wasn't true. He pretended to care. However being confused by his actions during the fire I started to fear him a little, but a part of me still wanted to believe in his façade. Eventually one day, when I was coming down the stairs for my first day of school, he stopped me. I was excited, I hadn't been let out of the house since I could remember, and I wanted to know what first grade would be like. He told me that my shoe was untied. And indeed it was. We were in the middle of the stairs and he tied it for me, before pulling out an umbrella, telling me I would need this. It was raining outside, it was a nice foreboding atmosphere. However as my hand reached out for the umbrella, it was slammed against my neck, and I was pushed down onto the steps. I couldn't breath. My uncles eyes were closed, he wouldn't look at me. He wouldn't hear my pleas, of 'I can't breath', and 'help'. Finally when I stopped squirming seeing no use in doing so, he opened his eyes. When he noticed I was still alive, he faltered I could breath and I took the umbrella from him. He tried to take it back, but I swatted at him blindly and afraid. I saw the anger in his eyes. It dawned on me then at that young age that he was trying to kill me, that he knew what he was doing, and meant to do it. Something within me snapped, and I started to hit him as hard as I could, which didn't leave any bruises but it kept him off me. I told him to back off, and get away from me. He only told me, that I should go follow my mother. That if I were never born his sister wouldn't have gone insane. I kept hitting him, trying to block his voice out. Eventually I jabbed him in the stomach hard enough to send him falling backwards. He tumbled the short distance down the stairs, and hit the stand that was at the end of the staircase, hard enough to make it tip a little. He was about to get up, when the stand tipped over, and hit him hard on the side of his head. It didn't crack his skull, but by the time my father came back from dropping of my sibling at their private school—because I was the murder of my mother I was expected to go to public school, because I was beneath everyone else—my uncle had to much internal bleeding to be saved."

Naruto said nothing. Finally I look up to see what expression he held. It was one of pity, and he was looking at his hands It was strange not seeing the boy overreacting, and I desperately wanted him to say something. I almost didn't believe I had told him my story at all, seeing as how silent it was. I held a little bit of fear as well. But if he were to leave, if he were to reject me now, then that would be fine. I should have known better then to get attached to him. I would just have to break that attachment, I think to myself. I'm brought out of my thoughts as Naruto's slightly tanned arms wrap around me.

"No wonder you don't like people," He whispered to me, soothingly. I felt something within my chest float with relief. "Don't worry I won't betray you," he added, petting my hair. Then he perked up all of a sudden garbing cheerfulness out of no where. He changed the subject back to the talent show, explaining how it would be starting soon and he still hadn't decided if what he was wearing now was appropriate enough to perform in. It didn't surprise me, the sudden change of subject. It's how he deals with upsetting things, he shrugs them off, quickly, not dwelling on them but keeping them in the back of his mind. I don't' know if it is healthy, but I didn't want to sit in awkward silence so I welcomed his ranting. I knew nothing had changed between us. Once again the urge to see blood came over me, to make sure this wasn't some sort of dream. My muse is such an odd and intriguing creature.

A/N: I don't know what came over me but I couldn't stop writing. There one background story down one to go. I know everyone is wanting to know about Naruto, the reason why Naruto's past is so vague. I love to tease. I'm in a little bit better of a mood, but I wouldn't count on updates coming quickly , my mood can change drastically over night.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23: Sing your heart out part 2

**Gaara's POV**

It's not very crowded in the auditorium at the moment. I'm siting in the third row next to me is Naruto's roommate, who seems to be texting someone using his cell phone. I don't watch the people coming in, I try to ignore the sneers of the people who sit down next to me. However I make note of the angry look that falls on Sasuke's face when people make comments about me being gay, and so forth.

"So did Naruto tell you what song he's singing?" the question took me by surprise, I hadn't expected the boy to talk to me. We aren't really on friendly terms, I don't know much about him. I don't feel like communicating so I simply shake my head no, as an answer. The black haired boy smiles for a brief moment and whispers.

"Though as much," then he goes back to texting whoever it is he's speaking to. It took awhile for everyone to find a seat, but once everything quieted down, a teacher –I believe the drama teacher though I can't be sure—steps out onto the stage. This seems to get Sasuke's attention and with one last message sent he closes his cell phone and turns his eyes towards the stage.

"Tonight, we have a wonderful line up of talent. So be respectful and don't talk during performances, and clap after they're threw," the teacher explains. With a wide smile he announces the first act, which to my disdain was a magic act. I hope Naruto isn't one of the last acts, I really don't' want to watch a bunch of amateurs.

Act after act walked upon the stage, and none of them were really awe striking. Though there was one band that got a good amount of cheers and they weren't bad actually. Still I'm waiting for Naruto, the only reason why I even came here is to see him. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when the drama teacher announces Naruto, though I didn't catch the title of the song he will be singing. I sit up straight in my seat, holding some fear that possibly one of our idiot classmates will start something. My eyes scan the seats quickly just to make sure no one had something in their hand to throw. It seemed everyone was looking at the stage in astonishment, the music had already started. I turn my gaze back to the stage and see light smoke rolling over the stage and a soft hazy spotlight on Naruto. In the background the light sound of a guitar starting to play echoed loudly. Naruto's' head is tilted down at the moment. I wonder if he's nervous at all. I looked at his cloths, he had changed them from earlier. Slowly his head lifted, again I wonder if he's nervous; I know I would be. Of course I would never have entered a talent show to begin with, yet another thing that differs between us. Not that those differences are bad, no they balance things out.

Naruto's stunning blue eyes are surrounded by an almost unnoticeable touch of light brown eye shadow. His bangs are swept back to the left side, slightly covering one of his eyes, but not hiding it. Naruto's eyes are a way of communication so they should never be covered, he's too confident to cover his beautiful crystal pools. I watch his eyes scan over the crowed, possibly seeking for my face. I find myself sitting up even taller, so that he may be able to spot me easier. His orange sleeves cover most of his hands, which clutch tightly to the microphone. His shirt was a striped orange shirt, some parts of it being see threw other parts solid. He takes a step forward, as the music starts to lead the audience into expecting the first word to be sung. And indeed the lyrics spill from Naruto's mouth, in a steady stream. I watch his lips form every word, and I hear his voice, it's all so very appealing. I notice that his eyes finally land on me, and a small smile forms on his face and he keeps singing.

_  
Paint me a picture and hang it on the wall  
Color it darkly, the lines will start to crawl  
Down... down... down...  
Spin me around and around_

His eyes seemed to be only on me, and his smile was bright as he sang.

_Draw me away to the night from the day, leave not a trace to be found...  
Down... down...  
Nothing is real but the way that I feel and I feel like going  
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  
down, down, down, down, down_

_  
_His voice is soft almost angelic, it was light hearted yet so defiant. As though he was telling me, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks of us.

Paint me a picture of eyes that never see  
Flashes of lightning that burn for only me...  
Hey,hey,hey - there's only the devil to pay...

As those last words left his mouth his pitch held strength within it, and he smoothly rolled out the melody; going back to that angelic tone.

_  
I'm ready to go, pull me down from below  
Give me a place I can lay  
Hey, hey - nothing is real but the way that I feel and I feel like going  
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  
down, down, down, down, down... _

Down, down...  
Nothing is real but the way that I feel and I feel like going -  
Nothing is real but the way that I feel and I feel like going  
Down, down, down, down, down, down, down,  
down, down, down, down, down...

The last note lingered on his lips and seemed to float in the air for a while. It was silent, then the sound of clapping roared threw out the room. I clap as well, keeping my eyes fixed on my muse. He has his answer, I'm not the only one who believes he can sing well. Naruto carries himself off the stage and whispers fill the room. I could only catch a little bit of the conversation next to me. They said something along the lines of, even if Naruto is a fag he could sing.

Many acts followed my muse's performance, none of which I paid much attention to, even if the clapping and cheering became loud. In the end Naruto was not mentioned. He got no prize he was not best in show, in the opinion of the teacher judging the competition. However his performance was the only one I cared about. Slowly people started to leave from their sets.

"You coming?" Sasuke asks me, when I shook my head he nodded in return; pulling out his cell phone, he leaves. Once the room was cleared I walked up to the stage, the curtains are still closed but something told me to stay near, to wait for Naruto. My muse then pokes his head out from between the red curtains and his eyes scan the area before landing on me and filling with a sparkling joy.

"You waited for me," he says happily coming out from behind the curtains. He's wearing the outfit he was wearing earlier today not the one he perform in, and in his hand is a small bag. Probably holding his performance clothes inside. "So what did you think?" he asks me garbing my hand and intertwining his fingers with mine; which I let him do.

"It was nice," I say in a monotone voice. And though my tone was not enthusiastic or full of praise, a very sweet smile of pride graced Naruto's lips.

"I was kinda nervous at first but I got over it," with that one sentence started my muse never stopped the rhythm of his speech, while we walked hand in hand towards our dorm rooms. I felt a strong feeling of content in the lower pit of my stomach as I watched and listened to my blonde. Yet again that feeling to want to prove that this was all real came over me; I wanted to be sure Naruto could bleed.

**Naruto's POV**

I'm holding on tightly to Gaara's hand as we come closer and closer to his room. I don't want to part yet, I feel so proud of myself. If it weren't for Gaara I wouldn't have entered the talent show. But still I let go of his pale hand once he stopped in front of his door.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Gaara says in that low tone of his. I smile and nod my head, with one last wave I turn to go to my own room. I felt a sadness come over me, I really would like to go hang out with Gaara just a little longer. But we have class tomorrow so I know he wont' be up to talking all night, he'll probably tell me to get ready for bed. That reminds me! I should ask how he's been sleeping hopefully he's been sleeping every night. I open the door to my room and find Sasuke inside.

"Great performance," he mumbles as his eyes flicker towards me for a moment.

"Thanks, I thought it was too," I say in return. "How'd you and Gaara get along?"

"We didn't really talk much but he wasn't' rude or anything. He's not that bad of a guy…." Sasuke's cell phone beeps and he picks it up and looks at the text message he was just sent.

Slowly moving over towards him I peek over his shoulder, "Well I knew that all along."

Sasuke jumps a little, "Idiot don't get so close what are you trying to do?"

"See who ya talkin' to," I grin.

"It's none of your business."

"Oh but it is, Sasuke. Especially if this is that person that's making you so happy," I tell my friend attempting to peek at the text message, he had gotten rid of it and he pushed me away. Then he started typing a response to whoever it is he's talking to.

"Oh come on why's it gotta be such a big secret,' I pout, and notice out of the corner of my eye what he's typing. It reads: "I g2g Naruto's bugging me. Goodnight." So whoever it is knows me.

"Because unlike you I like to keeping my lover a secret to try and avoid idiots that want to start something."

"Theirs nothing wrong with flaunting your love for someone, especially when you just get love in return…no matter how timid that expression of love maybe," I let out a love sick sigh and flutter my eyelashes to add humor to my romantic statement. To this Sasuke only lets out an annoyed gurgle, and gets up.

"I'm taking a shower," he says and takes out his PJ's. I couldn't help but laugh a little as Sasuke left the room, most likely just to get away from me.

I pull of my shirt and pants, wanting to go to sleep since really there was nothing else to do. Usually at times like this Kiba would burst in threw the door and we'd have a beer together or something…but those times are all over with. Even if Kiba came to apologize I don't' know if I would just take him back as a friend. I can only take so much shit from a person before just not caring about them anymore. Beside I'm sure Kiba doesn't care or regret ditching me the way he did.

The sound of Sasuke's cell phone beeping, made me turn my head towards his night stand. I look at the blue razor phone. The urge to invade Sasuke's privacy was over powering. So I grab the phone and flip it open to see a message which read: "Goodnight then, lil' brother." I stare at it for a few minutes. Since when does Sasuke talk to his brother? Every time they're around each other Sasuke seems to be in a pissy mood. I wonder if Itachi knows about Sasuke's 'lover'. He better not have told him before me! Jerk! I'm his best friend why would he be talking to his brother instead of me!? Then it hit me…from the little information Sasuke has given me…. The person he's dating is Itachi! Strangely enough the image that comes to mind is kinda hot…but not as hot as me and Gaara together of course. I put the phone down still a little stunned. Or maybe I'm just jumping to conclusions. Best to just keep my mouth shut. Though if it is Itachi then it would explain why Sasuke's all secretive about. After all it's a little bit weird to be dating your brother. But then again what really is weird? Isn't everything someone does weird to some other person at some part and time? Still I should just not say anything. Sasuke would kick my ass if I ask him, "Hey do you love your brother?" either he'd hurt me 'cause I'm right, or because he's insulted.

I crawl into bed, waiting for the next day. This week's my birthday, and I don't' care if it is in the middle of the week, I'm going to spend all day and a good part of the night with Gaara. I wonder if I can convince Gaara to take our relationship just a little bit higher on my b-day. That would be awesome!

Wednesday, and right now I'm sitting outside excited. Gaara told me to wait out here while he took care of something quickly. He hasn't been gone for a very long time but I just know this has something to do with my birthday present, and I've been waiting all day to get it.

"Naruto," I look up at the calling of my name. I was surprised that it wasn't Gaara standing in front of me but Kiba.

"What do you want Kiba?" I snap at my former friend.

"I know you're mad and shit, but I kinda wanted to talk."

"What's there to talk about? It's my birthday man, let me have my peace."

Kiba stood in front of me, "Just hear me out." I say nothing just glare at him. "I'm sorry I may have over reacted, but common Naruto you can't honestly think that 'this' is who you are."

I really didn't want to hear about how being gay is wrong and shit today. "Just let it go man. You wouldn't understand and if you ain't got anything better to say then just leave."

"I'm just saying all that time we spent together you never acted gay before you met him."" I saw Gaara walking towards us, I perked up.

"Well that's your opinion. Now if you'll excuse me I have some business with my boyfriend," I drag the last word of my sentence out. Then I push past Kiba. Some friendships can't be saved especially if Kiba's gonna try and convince me to be something I'm not. Gaara's green eyes land on the boy, and a slight protective look flashed in the green pools.

"So am I getting my present now?" I ask drawing his attention to me. He nods, and leads me back inside to his dorm.

Once we were inside Gaara's room, on his bed I saw a very large white square. My red head walked towards that square and pulled of the white sheet that covered it, to reveal my birthday gift. I'm speechless, my eyes run up and down the orange filled painting of Gaara and me. It's gorgeous! That's all I can think of to explain it. I smile, well I'm probably grinning cause of my happiness.

"Do you like it?" Gaara asks timidly, maybe surprised at my silence.

"Like it!? I love it! It's so pretty and it's all mine. Thank you!" I tell him walking over to his bed. I sit on the black sheets and run my hand over the dried paint of my gift. It really is pretty. The trees have zebra strips on their bark, and dark orange and light orange leaves were falling from them all around Gaara and me. But they didn't fall on use, they avoided us, as if we were to at peace to be bothered by them. The sun setting in the background just added to the orange romance.

"I really do love it," I whisper softly when I feel the bed sink next to me. I smile at my red head and a peaceful silence rolls over us. Time for a moment stops, as if telling us something big is about to come. As I leaned in for a kiss, which Gaara was very willing to give as he came towards me as well, I knew what that something would be. Our lips come together in that innocent way they always do. No matter if our tongues played together or not, the kisses I got from Gaara always held some sort of childishness to them. Oh but that doesn't make him a bad kisser. My red head becomes more assertive, yet he still doesn't seem quiet sure of what he's doing. Our lips parted every so often so that we could take in little gasps of air, or occasionally I would let out a hum of pleasure. Gaara was very skilled, however I couldn't help but feel like he was also asking me to guide him along. Or is he holding back?

The cold black silk sheets on the bed surround me, and the painting tips over to knock against Gaara's fiery hair. Still kissing me, Gaara pulled the painting over his back and gently set it onto the floor. I wrap my arms around him pulling him closer, not wanting to him to stop. I wanted to encourage him to go further, or at least keep kissing me. If he needs guidance I'll be happy to give helping hand…though I myself have limited knowledge about this. Damn I should of watched that porno on HBO to the end!

Gaara pulls away slightly, and his lips brush against my neck faintly; causing my hairs to stand up. Then he pulls back all together, leaving only his index finger to trace the spot his lips had teased earlier. I retrieve my eyes from the back of my head to look at my red head. He was studying an area of my neck, and his finger kept tracing the same spot. My skin felt sensitive and it took me a while to notice that his fingers resting on a blood vain.

"Something wrong?" I ask him and his green orbs came to focus on me. He then sits up, I whine a little. If I would have kept my mouth shut maybe we could have gone back to kissing, but no I had to ruin the mood. But still I get worried as I sit up to look at Gaara better. He seems like he was holding himself back, and there was some shame hidden almost on detected in his eyes. I reach out my hand to pet him, bring him comfort and I ask again; "Is something wrong?"

"Are you sure?" I was going to ask what he meant but he was quick to explain the moment I opened my mouth. "About me?"

"What's this all of a sudden?" I ask him really confused.

"I have thoughts about you..that.." He searches for a world to explain his feelings. But I don't need for him to finish his sentence, I already have an idea of what the problem is.

"That's normal, I think of you a lot too. And if these thoughts are kinda sexual that's normal too. There's nothing wrong with that," His green eyes look at me as if pleading with me to understand. Was I wrong? Is that not his problem?

"I don't know if you could consider them…sexual," he states.

"Then what is it?' I ask.

"It's complicated, best to simply forget I mentioned anything," he tells me in a monotone voice. He makes a move to get off the bed, but I'll be damned if I let him.

"No, just tell me. There's nothing that you can say to me that will make me regret asking. Anyway you already started this so finish it." He says nothing, and it aggravates me a little but I try not to let it show on my face.

"Is it that you think you don't deserve to have me?" I ask, recalling the story he told me about his uncle. Events like that can make someone feel detachment towards relationships. I wouldn't be surprised if Gaara told me he's still a little confused to why I love him. I really just want him to see that he's a good person, and that I love him and want so much for him. I know he loves me but that emotion it's so confusing for him. I don't know what to do to help him but damn I wish I could do something. Gaara doesn't answer instead he's withdrawn himself. I reach out for his hand, not knowing what else I could do. He stared at our hands for a while before moving. I didn't want him to pull his hand away from me, but I was surprised that instead of doing so he dug his thumb nail into one of my fingers. It was a deep cut. I wouldn't have thought a nail could do so much damage; I am bleeding.

"What—" I'm interrupted as Gaara speaks.

"These are the thoughts that run threw my head," he explains nothing with that stamtnet.

"What do you mean?" Did he want to cause me pain?

He lifts my hand pressing my finger causing the drop of blood to grow and finally spill over. The red substance trails down my finger, green eyes watch the droplet crawl. Then I find my finger surrounded my moister and a tongue seems to soothe the cut. I watch Gaara trying to understand, but it was hard to focus as his tongue seductively ran up and down my finger. I try to piece this together, what his meaning is behind this. He's used blood in his paintings, I know I've seen him. Is this just a part of that?

"I want to know that you're real, I can understand if you find it disgusting," Gaara says after slowly pulling my finger out from his mouth. I was staring at him in amazement, and I couldn't help but let out a low whispering moan. I didn't like it when I saw that the rumors about Gaara were true, when I saw that he cut his fingers. I was sure that it was because he was miserable, never had I thought that it was anything else. Was his liking of blood a sexual thing? I couldn't help giggling when the thought ran threw my mind and the look on Gaara's face was one of confusion when the noise reached his ear.

Most people may have freaked out, and to be honest I was a little scared to think of Gaara getting pleasure out of making me bleed. But you know how sometimes you go on a roller coaster just to be scared, but at the end you think it was fun, all because of the rush it gave you. Either way even if Gaara has some strange habits, and a sad past, it doesn't t change the fact that I love him, and who he is now, all things attached. If you wanted to change someone just because you don't' like something about them and then claim to love them, it's not really love. When you care for someone you except them as they are. I've never expected Gaara to be anyone other then him, and I wouldn't want to change him.

"Well now that you've gotten that off your chest, can we go back to making out?" I question playfully. Gaara didn't seem pleased, I suppose he expected me to say something about his little blood fetish. I lift my finger up to his lip and trace it across the soft flesh, only leaving behind a small almost invisible trail of blood.

"I've dreamt about being your canvas before Gaara. Blood or paint, it don't' matter to me, I'm yours."

A/N: A little kinky a little sappy maybe, but I'm still satisfied with this chapter. And I hope you are too.


	24. Chapter 24

**Warning**: Lime

Chapter 24: canvas

**Gaara's POV**

It's all too real. I had my proof that the blonde underneath me is living. The fact that he is beneath me proves that he is willing to stay. I have not scared him away, he has never feared me, and he's never expected anything from me. I understand him all to well, and I can say that I do feel the same way. I've never expected anything from him, I never wanted him to change. We are so different and I want it to stay that way, yet we are also the same and I'm grateful to have found someone like him. We've both seen the cruelty of humans, though I do not know his whole story, I know he's been rejected many times. We've both been rejected, but it doesn't matter now, because we didn't shun one another.

We are being watched, as his hand snakes between us and under my shirt, eyes watch us. As I kiss his neck, the audience never stops it's viewing. But we ignore the strange paintings and the puppets on my brother's side, we are to focused on one another. Our kissing became sloppy, and Naruto's hands seem to be undecided to where they should rest. Soon however we found ourselves both shirtless, and my muse couldn't get enough of the skin contact. He seems to have become very sensitive, I myself feel the same way. It was an odd thing but I found enjoyment in finding out what kind of noises Naruto would let out, depending on how and were I would touch him. If my lips touch the junction of his neck and shoulder, he would hum. If I would nip at that same spot he would sigh. If my finger brushed over his chest he would bite his lip, and a suppressed hum would force its way out. If my lips touched the same spot he would moan. So I focus on this spot, for I find his moan to be a lovely sound. My lips completely surround the tan knob that is part of his chest, he moans again. I start to suck, and let my tongue every so often flicker over the soft flesh. This seemed to drive my muse wild, and when my hand traced his side he only got louder. I don't' quiet understand why, but all of this was making me feel a little light headed. As if a suppressed part of my mind was coming forth, and trying to push my other thoughts aside. It wanted me to keep touching Naruto, it wanted me to move my hand lower.

My finger nails dug into Naruto's hip, as I continued to lick and suck. With ever centimeter my nails cut his skin, he took in a deep breath. Eventually it sounded like he couldn't get any air no matter how much he gasp, and finally he blew out his breath with a long moan. My fingers teased the wound for a moment. Then I left his chest instead finding the agitated injury a better spot to rest my lips.

"Gaara…" I look up to see if Naruto was uncomfortable, but it is the opposite. His eyes are closed his head is tilted to the side, and a little bit upwards. His chest was rising and falling quickly. I run my tongue over the crescent shape cuts, and a sound of pleasure echoes threw out the room. My muse was very vocal, and the lower the sound seemed to be, the louder it reverberated back to my ears. After lapping up all of the red substance, I sat up. Naruto's' eyes opened barley, shielded only slightly by his brown eyelashes. I rested my index finger (which still held traces of blood upon it) on his lip, before trailing it down his chin. I tip his head up and look into his foggy blue eyes. His breathing was loud, and he was expecting something from me. I was happy to give into his expectations as our lips meet again. Naruto's hand quickly buried themselves into my hair and pulled me closer. He shifted my head slightly to the side and opened his mouth, inviting me. I however pull away, ignoring the fact that Naruto's' hands try to pull me back. I clean off the earlier trail of blood on his chin.

"Let go," I whisper to him. Though I didn't really think much of the pain he was inflecting by tugging on my hair, I wanted freedom of movement. He obeyed me, quickly releasing his grip. I gave his neck attention again, and while I was doing so, his hands ran down my back. Then abruptly they drop settling on my hips before desperately trying to tug of my jeans. I continued to flower him with kisses and with fumbling hands he managed to get use both down to our boxers. It's at this time that I come to a loss of what to do, surly my muse knows more about this then me.

"How do we do this?" I found my voice to be breathless when I spoke those words.

"I don't know…I mean not sex wise," My muse explains in a hushed tone. "I know other stuff though," he offers.

I nod, I wanted to be close to him in some way. My body didn't want to stop indulging in these new sensations. It was now Naruto's turn to be in charge, and I willingly let him, though I liked it much better when he was underneath me. The control I had over him the way I could make him moan. I wanted to learn, and learn quickly all I could from him, so that I could gain back my dominance. He had no shyness in his action. He bit his lip as he trailed his fingers down my stomach, before reaching my black boxers. He grinned, a sly seductive lopsided grin. His teeth were still biting the left side of his lips, which is what cause it to be lopsided.

I hadn't notice till now, but all the things we were doing earlier, lead to me being fully excited. And as Naruto slid down my legs lowering himself, I could feel that he's dealing with the same situation between his legs. I have no idea what Naruto is planing on doing. However I feel slight embarrassment start to creep its way onto my cheeks, as his hands slowly pull down the only remaining article of clothing left on my body. I closed my eyes, and turn my head, as if doing so would block out my shame. It's not that I didn't' want Naruto to see me, it's not that I think I am ugly. It's simply the fact that I have never done anything like this before, that no ones ever seen me naked before. At least not that I can remember. My eyes dare to open again when I feel moister surround a very private part of my body. I couldn't help sitting up straight as my eyes and mind comprehended what it was that Naruto was doing. I could not only hear but also feel Naruto's muffled laughter.

"Wha—" it was no use trying to speak. Naruto gently rolled his tongue over my sensitive skin, up and down. The feeling was completely alien to me. It gave me a sort of fulfillment, I felt satisfaction slowly building within me, with every lick with every suck. Naruto's hands rested on my hips occasionally they would run along my thigh or back. There was an elevation with in me, and I seemed to be getting higher and higher, It was odd when I heard myself moan quietly. To this Naruto only sucked harder, and started to message my thigh. It felt good, almost to good. It is becoming to much, and I can feel that elevation quickly drop, and with that drop came another moan and the ultimate feeling of satisfaction.

The sound of Naruto coughing startled me. "Are you all right?" I ask with worry thought my voice held no trace of the emotion.

"Yeah," he coughs again, a trail of white running down his chin, "I'm fine." He wipes his chine and then looks at me. "Did you like it?" He questions, coming a little closer not to kiss me, simply to gain skin contact. I found myself only able to nod. It was a wonderful sensation and an act Naruto didn't have to perform. However I'm grateful he did so, willingly. I wanted him to feel the same release and satisfaction as I did. So with a kiss upon his neck I lower him down on his back. Then I imitate his earlier action by lowering myself between his legs while sliding off his underwear. He stops me though.

"You don't have to." He tells me.

"I know but—"

"It's kinda a chick thing, I rather that you don't do it. After all you're the one in charge, my seme," he whispers his explanation.

"But I want you to feel—"

Once again I'm interrupted by my muse, "Just touch me, that'll be enough," he explains in a breathless tone. I nod, if that is what he wished for then I have no problem doing so. I only hope that I can bring him the same pleasurable feeling he brought me. First my fingertips brush over his private area, as if testing. Naruto was hypersensitive to ever touch I gave him, no matter how feather light it was. I lean over him to kiss his neck as my fingers completely surround him, he moans loudly. I copy the motion he performed with his mouth, along with nipping lightly at the blood vessel that resides on his neck. He titles his head back as far as he could breathing heavily and moaning out my name slowly. A sudden bucking of his hips took me by surprised, and I picked up my speed slowly. Naruto let his approval be heard. My teeth no longer nipped at his flesh but dared to bit. This only seemed to drive my muse into a passion filled frenzy, he could not choose the sounds he wished to make they simply spilled out tumbling together incoherently. I couldn't tell if he was calling me name, sighing, moaning or humming. I licked the spot were I bite him, I hadn't bitten him hard so he wasn't bleeding. I trailed kisses up his chin and to his lips. He didn't want our lips to touch as he tilted his head away from me. After all he was making use of his mouth at the moment with all the noise that came out of him. he didn't want me to cover up his lovely calls of pleasure. His left hand came to tangle itself into my hair, while his right held on tightly to my shoulder. His nails digging into my skull and shoulder as he let out a loud last moan, and I felt him reach his limit. He's breathing hard trying to catch his breath, and seeing as the sheets are already soiled I wipe my hand clean on them.

I go to my drawer and pull out new underwear, black sweat pants and tank top and slip into them. I also pull out a new pair of sheets. And some clothes for Naruto to borrow. I didn't want him to leave my room, I wanted him to stay at my side for the night. I looked at the clock and saw that it was seven thirty. In thirty more minutes my brother should come in. I never really know when he will be in the room but usually it's either six thirty, eight o'clock or around ten. I am only guessing when I say he's coming in at eight.

Naruto was no longer breathing heavily. His eyes are half lidded, and he seems to be tired. I hand him, his boxer and a shirt and sweat pants for him to sleep in. Sleepily he grabs his boxer and the shirt from me, waving his hand to indicate he's rejecting the pants. I put them back. He gets off the bed to slip on his boxer, I take this opportunity to take of the black sheet that is stained white. Once Naruto pulled his head threw my shirt which was form fitting on him—the opposite of the way it looked on me—he fell back onto the bed and curled up into a ball. I take the new sheet I had pulled out, and let it float over his form to keep him warm and comfortable. I then leave my dorm room to get rid of the dirty laundry.

**Naruto's POV**

I wanted to sleep, I didn't want to go back to my room. But seeing as Gaara gave me his shirt to sleep in I don't think he's expecting me too. The door opens again, and my red head reenters. He turns off the lights in the room, before coming to lay with me in his bed. I cuddle up to him instantly.

"So you'll fall asleep tonight won't you?" I ask him with a yawn.

"Maybe later on, in the early morning," he tells me.

"So I didn't tire you out? Geeze that makes me feel useless," I pout. Why does he have such weird sleeping habits? I mean I'm barley staying awake right know cause all that stuff we did. I mean yeah we didn't have sex but still I'm tired.

"Why do you say that?" He questions.

"It's just usually people get tired after 'playing' the way we did,' I say pulling the covers all the way up to my neck and holding onto Gaara's shirt cuddling even more.

"Oh well, I'm just not tired. That's doesn't mean you're useless," Gaara explain. And I don't' say anything in return feeling sleep close in on me. What a great birthday.

"What's he doing here?" My eyes slowly open. When light hits them they close again, but my ears focus on the two voices in the room.

"He's spending the night," Gaara says in that monotone voice of his.

"Why the hell?…You know I don't even want to know. It's probably some fag shit I don't want to know about. Don't pull this crap again, I don't want him in our room it's just weird seeing you two. Someone who can actually stand being around you, what a miracle." Gaara's brother says. I wanted to say something but I guess I would only cause trouble that way so I kept pretending like I was sleeping. The sound of sheets moving told me that Kankuro had gone to bed, and when I opened my eyes there was no more light. I look up at Gaara surprised to see him watching me. I smile at him.

"Love you," I say. If I am a miracle then fine, I'll keep reminding Gaara that I love him. That I don't' care that others think this is disgusting, and that I don't' want him to change in anyway. He's fine the way he is, why is it such a surprise that I love him? Gaara smiles at me for a brief moment, and then he closes his eyes, our foreheads touch and I follow his lead and close my eyes again too.

I'm awakened by the sounds of sheets and movement next to me. When I squint my eyes open, I see nothing, the room is completely dark. The blinds are opened just a bit, and I see that Gaara as gotten up, and that it's only five in the morning. I grumble and roll over, it's too early to get up.

"Naruto get up, I don't' want to leave you alone in here," he tells me, and reluctantly I throw the covers off of me. "Let's take a shower," Gaara explains.

"Yeah, but I need to go to my room first," I tell him rubbing my eyes and heading towards the door. We separate, as Gaara goes to take a shower and I go to my room to get some clothes. Luckily no one was in the hallway at the moment. That doesn't mean they won't find out about me spending the night with Gaara. Kankuro could spread some rumors about it, and cause use some trouble. I don't really care, I'm to tired right now to worry about some stupid shit like that.

I slowly and quietly open the door to mine and Sasuke's room. He's probably still asleep so I don't' want to wake him.

"Naruto?" So much for not waking him. "Were have you been?" He asks in a sleepy voice.

"I spent the night with Gaara," I explain with a wide grin.

"Uh, forget I asked," Sasuke says pulling the covers over himself, obviously not wanting to hear any more. I'm not gonna share with him anyway. I'm not the type of guy that goes around telling people about his sexual activities and shit. That's one thing that I think is my business alone and doesn't need to be flaunted. I walk over to pick out some cloths for me to wear today. A plain orange shirt and jeans would do fine, and with cloths in hand I head back out towards the showers.

There weren't many people in the shower room, but the few that were did take the time to turn around and glare at me. I only rolled my eyes, and disappeared into a shower stall. I stripped down and turn on the water stepping in not shortly after, not caring that the water wasn't warm enough yet. I clean myself up, finding it really relaxing. My mind drifts back to the things me and Gaara did last night, and a beam of happiness ran threw me. The crescent cuts were still slightly visible at my side. It was amazing how it felt every time he cut my skin. I know that sounds kinda sick, like I'm masochistic or something, but still I can't help it. It did feel good, real good. I can only imagine what it'll be like when Gaara and me go all the way. But first we have to do some research on how. I'm sure it'll be easy to find out, though I don't' know if I want to use the Internet. I sure as hell can't use the school computers and I don't think Sasuke would want me using his to look up that sort of stuff. I'll figure out a way, but right now I'm not in any rush. Just the things we did last night are enough to keep me happy. Even if I did almost choke…that was kinda embarrassing but I guess it's something you need to get use to. I mean come on I had never done something like that before!

I rinse out my hair and then turn off the water. Once I've dried myself off and changed into my new cloths I step outside. Gaara's combing threw his hair at the mirror.

"Thanks," I tell him handing him his shirt, "That was the best birthday ever." My red head takes the shirt from me, and continues to comb his hair.

"Don't forget to pick up your painting after class today," he reminds me.

"I think I can get it before class, seeing as how early we woke up." He nods, and puts his comb away, he then stands waiting for me. I also take care of my hair and throw my old boxer into my laundry bin, and of course brush my teeth. We then leave, and even though people were staring at use the whole time they didn't start anything for once.

Gaara opens the door for me, and I tip toe in so I won't wake up his brother and grab my b-day gift. Gaara also very quietly gets his things for class.

"I'm going to go sit outside in the courtyard…." He doesn't finish the sentence but it was an invitation to join him.

"I'll meet you there once I put my present away," I tell him smiling, and Gaara gave me a brief smile in return. I can just tell today's gonna be a great day. I happily walk back down the hall towards my dorm. Before I could reach my door though Shino and Kiba's door opens forcefully. I stand back quickly out of surprise. The door was swung open so far that it slammed against the wall.

"Get out!" It was Kiba's voice who screamed those words and Shino comes tumbling out. His back lands against my door and he falls down onto the ground. Kiba reaches for the door knob ignoring that Shino is rubbing his back out of pain and ignoring me too. He slams the door shut. Shino gets up.

"What was that all about?" I ask the boy going to make sure he didn't get hurt to badly. Sasuke opens the door.

"What's with all the noise?" Shino was silent he wouldn't answer either of use. I decided I would explain to Sasuke the little bit of the situation that I witnessed, since Shino didn't seem to be in a good mood at all.

"Why don't' you come in?" I offer and Shino nods, not only to tell me he excepts but as a thank you as well. He's wearing his sunglasses, I don't ever remember having seen him with out them. But the long sleeved shirt with a bug on it and the letters that red 'bed bug' told me he was still in his night cloths. So him and Kiba must have just woken up.

"So what happened?" Sasuke asks Shino, who we sat down on Sasuke's bed. Our friend seemed to think about if he should tell us or not.

**A/N:** A little cliffhanger. I guess it's kinda hard to pick out the climax in this story. You could say that when Naruto confessed to Gaara it was a climax, but in all reality it hasn't come yet, however it will come next chapter, and you know what it means once a story has hit it's climax right? It means it's really close to coming to an end all together, so be prepared.


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25: The cause of pain

**Naruto's POV**

"In a way, it has a lot to do with you, Naruto." Shino starts, and he pushes up his sunglasses while he thinks about how to continue. Shino isn't very good with words, and when he does speak he usually sounds robotic. That's just because Shino doesn't usually like to bother people with his problems, so he doesn't let his emotions show; that, and he's a very calm person. It takes a lot to piss him off. Even though Kiba threw him out the way he did, I can tell Shino will forgive him.

"I'm sure you have noticed his overreaction to the discovery about your sexuality, but it's me that he comes to complain to. I've attempted to make him see that he shouldn't ruin his friendship with you simply because you're gay. I've insisted that you haven't changed. Kiba, of course, feels somehow betrayed by you. I've tried to ignore his constant talking about the situation. It's just that, this morning, I'd had enough. I should have thought better of it, but my anger took over. Usually I keep my mouth shut, but this time I found myself saying something that I should have kept secret."

My eye brows come together in confusion. What was it that Shino said to piss Kiba off so bad?

Shino is about to continue when the loud slam of a door reaches our room. We look at our door, expecting it to open, but instead we hear heavy, angry footsteps walking away.

"Well, at least now that he's out of the room you can get ready for class," Sasuke says. Shino nods, but he makes no move to get up. Of course not; I can see Sasuke doesn't want him to, and I don't want him to either. I want to hear the rest of his story.

"As I was saying," Shino continues. "I'd had enough of listening to him, and I asked him a question I shouldn't have: 'and what would you do, Kiba, if I told you that Naruto and I are not so different in our sexual preferences?' For a moment Kiba said nothing, but then he told me that it wasn't a funny joke that I was making. When I told him there was no joke, and that I, in fact, have admired him since we were both twelve, he exploded. He went on a rampage about something. He was yelling so incoherently, I couldn't understand what he was saying. I said nothing more. Knowing Kiba, I just wanted to give him time to cool off. I never told Kiba how I felt about him before, mainly because I knew he wouldn't feel the same way. Anyway, after calming down a little bit, he walked back and forth. He glared at me, and every so often he would shake his head, as if he were disappointed in me. As though I betrayed him worse then you did, Naruto. Then he told me calmly – or attempted to tell me calmly – to leave. When I did nothing, he yelled at me to leave. So, I attempted to reason with him. I was forced to go in the end, as you saw."

"Shit. He really needs to see someone about his little homophobia problem." I mumble.

"Well, if you want to stay the night with us later on, you're welcome to." Sasuke offers as I get up to gather some books and such.

"Yeah, it's better than dealing with Kiba..." My voice trails off as I see said brunette outside, confronting my boyfriend.

"What the hell?" I make a dash for the door, dropping my school books; but Sasuke stops me.

"What's your hurry?"

"Kiba. He's outside with Gaara, and I don't trust that bastard. No offense, Shino, but Kiba isn't all that rational – I know he's going to pull some sort of shit."

"Don't you think Gaara can take care of himself?" Sasuke asks.

"Yes, but-"

"It might be better not to show up down there. It might just anger Kiba more." Sasuke continues, and he isn't trying to be mean. He's being honest; he honestly believes what he's saying.

"But the point is that Kiba is my friend, and my problem. Why should I let Gaara deal with him?"

"If anyone should go down there, it should be me. I obviously provoked him. Because of what I said, he's making some sort of rash decision." Shino explains in his monotonous voice, getting to his feet.

"You just worry about getting dressed. I'll handle this crap on my own," Not letting anyone stop me, I make my way out of the room.

**Gaara's POV**

I didn't expect anyone but Naruto to approach me this morning, so I am surprised when an angry brunette walks up to me and starts yelling at me about being a witch and turning everyone against him, taking his friends from him and such. I don't realize who he is until he backs away from my face, expecting me to say something in return.

"Well? Don't you have anything to say? You never fucking talk, you freak! Stay the hell away from Naruto! You fucking fucked him up!" He screams at me. Obviously he's having problems, he's decided to let it out on me. Not that it really is my fault – it's not. People do things like this all the time. I've come to realize that they like to blame me most of all. Blame me for my mother's death, blame me for being stuck in an all-boys boarding school, blame me for taking away a friend or changing them somehow. I just sit, waiting for him to leave. I don't feel like scuffling with him. However, he is very aggressive. He almost reminds me of a dog as he lashes out at me, grabbing the front of my shirt. All the while, I do nothing, I say nothing.

"Everything was fine before he started hanging around you. I wasn't seen as a bad person until you fucked everything up. Now, not only does Naruto weird me out, but Shino too. I have no one left, because you decided to show up. Someone doesn't become interested in a person just like that, even if they are Naruto! You did something to him!"

My head is hurting from his loud tone, and he has decided to add extra emphasis to his words by occasionally shaking me roughly.

"I did nothing. Don't blame me for your ignorance." I don't want to deal with a boy who can't come to terms with the fact that some of his friends are gay, especially if he wants to blame me and yell at me because of it. He doesn't understand what's going on between me and Naruto. He doesn't care to understand, so I don't care to listen to him, or to try and calm him down.

"What did you say?" He growls at me.

I hate it when people say that as if they didn't hear me, when I know they heard me quite well. After all, his anger has flared tenfold, so I know he heard me. Surprisingly enough, I feel a little irritated, and anger starts to form itself within me. It craves violence. Maybe it's been building up from all the shit I've been taking. Sometimes I let things go, but after a while of being blamed continuously and being treated the same way again and again, I just can't take that shit anymore. I feel like that's what is happening to me now. I'm tired of being blamed, I'm tired of people judging me when they don't even know me, and seeing me as dirt, and spitting in my face. If you don't like me, then stay out of my way – plain and simple. But he's confronting me, and it's annoying. I don't want to listen to him, I don't want to hear the excuses he's come up with, I don't want to hear him say something is my fault when it's not.

"You heard what I said," I say calmly after a long silence. He roughly pushes me back, and my head hits the edge of the flower bed pretty hard. I could have sworn I heard something crack, but I hope it's only my imagination. I get to my feet and stare at the boy.

"What good will that do you? For now, it might help you get your mind off the way you treated your 'friends', but later you'll see there is no reasoning behind your actions. You just want someone to blame. You're pathetic." I tell him. It feels good. I almost wish it's my father that I am confronting, so that I can tell him similar words. However, it is not, and I can't afford to say such things to my father until I'm eighteen.

I'm not at all surprised when the boy runs at me, and we both fall to the ground. It isn't a fist fight; instead, an enraged wrestling match. I can hear some footsteps around us; it must almost be time for class. However, I'm not expecting that the sounds of footsteps are coming from only one person.

"Gaara!" I can't look up, but I recognize the voice to be Naruto's. I get a good look at my muse after he pulls his 'friend' off me.

"Kiba, what the hell is your problem?"

"He's my problem!" He points a finger at me. I touch the back of my head, which has abruptly started throbbing.

"Leave him out of this. You know damn well this whole thing is between you and me. If you must know, I'm the one who asked Gaara out. I'm the one who first kissed him. I did everything first! So stop being an idiot, and go fucking apologize to Shino!"

"For what? I can't help it if Shino's one of you."

"Apologize for the way you treated him. You really want to lose the only friend you have left?"

Slowly, the words that are being exchanged between the two boys fade away, and my eyes become heavy. Still, I can hear them faintly...slowly fading, until there is complete silence. Darkness comes soon after.

Slowly, my eyes open, and I see nothing but white. At that moment, I know I'm not dead. If I were, I would see nothing but red flames.

"Well, you're awake. That's good," Says a female voice. I say nothing in return as I look at the black haired woman. "You're in the nurse's office. I'm the nurse." She giggles. "You passed out from your little fight. There isn't much damage, just a little bleeding. You're lucky. You're only getting suspended for a month; usually the punishment for a fight like that is expulsion."

Suspended. Great. I'm sure my father will be glad to have me back home.

"For now, just worry about getting better." The black haired women smiles at me kindly, and then leaves the small, doorless room that I am in. I stare at the ceiling, wondering why I got suspended this time. The other time I got into a fight, nothing happened. Of course, that time they saw that I wasn't really fighting back. Maybe they believe I'm causing trouble, now that I've gotten into yet another fight.

I don't dwell on this long. I'll simply have to put up with my father's yelling, and if he does something drastic – like kick me out of the house – then I will find help; a shelter or something. Of course, this won't look good if I decide to try and get into college, assuming I can afford to do so at all. Either way, it doesn't really matter. College is most likely out of my reach anyway, no matter how good my grades are. What is done is done, and I'll have to deal with the up and coming problems once they actually show themselves.

A knock against the wall alerts me to someone's presence. I am pleased when I see it is Naruto, though his face holds a sad expression. He walks over to my side, taking a seat in the chair placed next to the small bed. Other beds are in the small room, but they are all empty.

"I'm sorry," The boy whispers to me.

"It's not your fault." The words come out of my mouth quickly, but they don't seem to bring my muse any comfort.

"Yeah, it is. I'm bringing you trouble...You shouldn't have had to deal with Kiba...and..." He doesn't finish his sentence, sighing. He is angry, sad, and frustrated. But really, it wasn't his fault. He could never have guessed his friend would snap.

"It's fine. Suspension is no big deal." I mumble.

"Suspension?" His blue eyes hold surprise as they stare at me. Wasn't that what was making him so upset? I guess not. Must have just been that fact that his friend was acting stupidly. But now I've only added more aggravation by stating the fact that I am suspended.

Naruto's foot is tapping an irritated beat, and he looks like he is about to burst out into tears. I really don't understand why. It's nothing that can't be fixed later on. It isn't like I have internal bleeding because of my fall, and need to be operated on. It isn't like I got expelled. It could have been so much worse. However, I don't point this out to my muse. I don't believe words can comfort him right now. On top of that, I'm not too good with words, so it's better if I stay quiet.

"This isn't fair." He mumbles finally. His eyes loose their glaze. He doesn't look like he's on the edge of tears anymore. I still say nothing. "I'm bringing you problems, just like she brought him problems..."

"Who?" I can't help but ask. However, my question only seems to make things worse.

"It's not fair!" Naruto calms down rather quickly. He seems to be going through strange mood swings. Maybe it's because whatever is bothering him has been bothering him for so long. The things he's bottled up inside, the things he's tied to hide behind a smile. The things I've only seen for brief moments when his eyes show his sadness. "I don't want to be like her...I don't want to cause you pain and problems...I don't want to make everything worse for you. I want to have my own destiny. I don't want to repeat hers..." He isn't making any sense. His thoughts are really torturing him, I can tell by the look on his face. I hate to see him like this, so pained, and he won't stop blaming himself for what happened.

"Kiba was my friend. He didn't need to go after you. Why did he do that? It must have been something I did. Why didn't I see it coming? I don't want to bring you any more problems then you already have. I know you're an outcast, but you never had it so bad till I came around. And now you're being suspended because of me. Because of a friend of mine." He is babbling.

"You can't control what other people do." I tell him in a low voice, attempting to sound soothing; though I don't believe it's working.

"Yeah, but I don't want to be like her. I don't want to go crazy because of this."

"Then stop blaming yourself, and stop thinking about it." I tell him. He seems to listen. Finally, I am able to bring him some comfort with my words.

A/N: So the climax is really Naruto's break down, which is leading up to Naruto's' background story! I can't promise updates will be fast. I've fallen badly ill, and missed a lot of school, so school work is piling up, most likely. I won't have much time to work on this, and I'm still sick.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26: Goodbye for now

Beta'd by NightmareTears

**Gaara's POV**

It is November now. The school is giving me time to take some of my things. Today, I'm supposed to be picked up by my father...though I doubt that he will come himself. I can imagine Temari, possibly, but not him. Or, at least, I hope he won't. I don't feel like dealing with his anger and never-ending disappointment in me.

My muse is sitting on my bed, watching me gather some of my things. He offered to help, but I told him I could pack myself. Now, there's nothing but silence, and it worries me that Naruto is being so quiet. I can't think of anything that may spur a conversation between us, and I fear I may say something that will upset him again.

"I guess I must've sounded insane."

The sudden sound surprises me, and I stop my actions to give my full attention to Naruto. He isn't looking at me. His blue eyes are distant, and only a hollow, fragile smile lies on his lips. It's far from an expression I like to see on my muse.

I don't say anything. Naruto seems to take my stillness as I sign that I don't know what he's talking about.

"When I came into the nurse's office that first day...remember? ...I'm sorry. It's just...I guess I was stressed out. This whole school's been a bitch to the both of us. And then the final straw came from someone I know. I just felt a little...I don't know..." Naruto trails off. I wait patiently for him to come back to his point. He doesn't need to explain everything; I know that the reason he broke down like that has something to do with that sad look he gets in his eyes.

"I just kinda...don't want everything to fall apart. But I guess it's too late for that." He mumbles.

"I'll only be gone for a little while. It's not the end." I tell him in a monotonous voice, hoping that my boring tone will stimulate some security. As though this statement is fact, and therefore doesn't need to be supported by passion or emotion.

My blonde nods his head, but somehow I don't think he's really listening to me.

"I can't ever understand why...people want to make other peoples' love lives their business..." He trails off, but then comes back, his eyes focused on me. "Sometimes...I wonder if the love that is 'wrong' is really the love that is...the purest...Right...? Ya know..." I wait for him to go on.

"Like Romeo and Juliet...someone worth dying for." Naruto lets out a sigh. "All I know is that, during Thanksgiving, I'm going to be stuck here all on my own. I'm not wanted in that town...I really don't want to go back there anyway. Not after what went down here. And...maybe I'm just like my mom. Maybe I'll bring you bad luck...Not that I want to."

"Luck is what you make of it. To some, it may seem like I haven't ever had any good luck at all." I mumble, remembering all the troubles I had in my childhood. Naruto smiles at me. An honest smile.

"For years now, I've been thinking of the story I was told about my parents...I always wondered what they were like, and if I really was that much like my mother. Iruka said she was a nice lady. Loud at times, and a little on the defensive, but she had to be. From the start, it seemed like everyone disapproved of her.

"I guess it was something...like...the town was expected my dad to marry this rich and smart girl. You know, one of those pampered trophy wives who knows how to act. I mean, my dad was an important man...he had to have an appropriate wife, right? Too bad it didn't turn out that way. He married this crazy redhead who nobody liked. Her family was nothing but trouble, they'd say. And I guess that was true...after all, her brother was part of a gang, and he wasn't too happy about her getting married to my dad either. Started some trouble in town, you know, that kinda crap. I guess that stuff was bad enough to make people start to think bad attitude ran in her family.

"I don't really know much about my uncle...but I do know that they called him Kyuubi. And that he was the leader of a small gang in town. Had no problem killing people and stuff. Like I said, after finding out about my mom and dad, he went nuts and started some shit in town. No one you ask will tell you exactly what happened. Not even Iruka will mention it to me. Anyway, it made people not only think badly of my uncle...but my mom, too. They blamed her for what her brother did, and started rumors and stuff about her. People started whispering that she tricked my dad into marring her, and that she was a whore.

"After I was born, the town only seemed to hate her more. I guess they couldn't take the fact that my dad actually wanted to start a family with this 'uncivilized' woman. After a while, my mom saw how the peoples' attitudes towards her were affecting my dad's business, and she blamed herself. She had a break down, and, in the end...committed suicide.

"The town seemed happy enough. They told my dad to move on, get rid of everything that would remind him of her. Including me. He didn't, though. Iruka said that, afterwards, he hardly came out of the house. He just paid attention to me. No one else...Rumor has it he died of a broken heart after a year.

"I don't remember my parents at all. I was too young. But...it's kind of a romantic story." Naruto finishes, giving me a smile. But that smile holds pain. After all, no one likes him because he's like his mother. I know how hard it is to grow up with hardly anyone caring about you. Loving you.

"It doesn't matter anymore. The past is the past. And maybe wrong is right - who cares what others think."

It is all I can think to say, and it seems to be enough. I can't bring myself to say 'I love you', but Naruto doesn't need to hear those words. His hometown may expect him to be like his mother, and maybe what's happening here at school is stirring up some bad feelings inside of him...but I care for him greatly. I've never cared for anyone the way I do for him.

"Yeah, I guess." Naruto whispers in a carefree tone.

I finish up my packing and grab my bag while I head for the door. My blonde is quick to get to his feet and stop me.

"I'm gonna miss you. Sorry that asshole Kiba got you into so much trouble."

I shrug, not knowing what else I can do. Yes, I will miss him too, but I just can't bring myself to say that out loud. It is time now for me to leave, and though just earlier I was completely prepared to leave my muse, with him stopping me for this brief moment, my heart longs to stay. Blue eyes stare at me, and they seem to be speaking a language my mind can't understand. But I can't turn away. It isn't his fault that I'm being suspended, and I really need to go...so why has he stopped me? Spoken those few words, like a spell. Now I can't leave.

My muse leans in, and with a soft brush of our lips, the spell is broken. We scoot a little closer to eachother, his hands on my shoulders. Our lips don't want to separate, and simply move against each other passionately. But this goodbye has to stop, so I end it by pulling away slowly. Naruto gives me a sad smile, and I turn to leave the room. I won't be seeing it for a while. I don't glance back, fearing that I won't be able to move my feet anymore if I look at Naruto again. I'm glad he shared his sorrow with me, and I will miss him...He's the only friend I have, even if we are more then friends. He's still the only one.

I make it to the front of the school on my own. Right when I set foot out of the gate, my sister pulls up in her car. It doesn't surprise me, but relieves me. I don't want to see my father. Not now.

"So...you got into a fight." My sister begins as I throw my bag into the back seat. I don't respond, and simply close the door and walk up to the passenger side. My sister stares at me the whole time as I sit down and put on my seat belt. She puts the car into drive and starts off. For a while, she's quiet. But it doesn't last.

"Kankuro told me about...your little boyfriend." She looks at me for a reaction. I give her none. "I think it's nice...I mean, I would have never thought, but - as long as you're happy, that's great." Once again, she pauses just in case I have some input. Which I don't.

"I didn't tell dad about it. He's mad enough about you getting suspended. Says he doesn't want you around...but I guess that's nothing new." She mumbles. I want her to stop talking. I really don't want to talk to her. The car ride won't be long, but it won't be short, either. Right now I just want silence.

My sisters' voice starts to fade away, and I let my mind drift off into thoughts of my muse. I try not to think about the torture I will have to deal with once I reach my 'home sweet home'. I don't want to think about the pictures that my father will destroy. Instead, I want to think about the pictures I will paint, to pass the time.

A panicked thought comes to me. What will happen if my father finds any of my artistic photographs? Will he rip those up, too? All my photos of Naruto, the one of us together...I can't bear to lose that one. It's a strange thing to think, but really I've grown...attached to that picture. To the memories of that day we spent together. I've grown attached to all the memories I share with Naruto. I suppose that is part of this thing called love. I understand it much better, but still it seems that this confusing little emotion can drive you a little insane. A good sort of insanity, were you long for that person, and being apart...it almost feels like a familiar part of yourself is gone.

We arrive at my house. I know I'll have to face my father soon; after all, he works from home. But, possibly, I can go upstairs to my room without being bothered until later on this evening. I get my things from the car. My sister has already unlocked the door, and is waiting for me. I enter the house and climb the stairs to get to my room. It's eerily quiet, and peaceful. I know this won't last; I'd rather be at school than in this hellhole. I start unpacking. It feels so odd being here, when I should be at school. It seems strange, being away from the groups of boys insulting me...and Naruto. I hope the blonde won't have to deal with too much trouble while I'm gone.

A knock on my door causes me to freeze. I feel no relief as the door opens up to reveal my father on the other side. I look at him flatly - I want to get this over with. My dad closes the door behind him and takes one step closer to me. His arms are crossed, and a disappointed and angry look is nothing new to behold on his face.

"You just _enjoy_ causing trouble, don't you? Did you _want_ to come home, just to _disgust_ me with your presence?"

I don't answer my father.

He lunges out and takes hold of my wrist, "I'm talking to you!" Still, I say nothing. "Fine. It's better if you just keep your mouth shut anyway. I don't want to see your face the whole time you're here! And none of that shitty scribbling you call _art_! Some people in this house don't want to see murderous pictures! So keep your bloody, _sick_ fantasies to yourself!" With that, my father flings my wrist away, releasing his grip, and leaves me to be alone in my room.

Sick fantasies? Is that what he thinks my art is? I draw my version of reality, and reality has never been easy. Maybe he just doesn't want to face that part of his own life. Either way, it doesn't matter. I may not be able to communicate to some people, and I may not even like the majority of humankind, but I have Naruto. Naruto understands me, and one is enough. Even if I am apart from that one for a while.

I gaze at my fingertips, the part of my body were I've cut myself many times before. Not because I don't like life, or I hate myself. Just to make sure everything is real. I think back to the many things I've done with Naruto. Yes, I've made sure he was real...he's bled for me. Is that sick? I wonder...maybe my fascination with blood could be seen as sick. But what does it matter? If it's my father's opinion, then it means nothing. Even if it were other people who would call me sick, it doesn't matter. Because I distinctly remember that my muse doesn't think my fascination is sick. No, he doesn't think that at all.

It will be lonely here in this home of mine, without a single person to understand me. Without him.

**Naruto's POV**

It's been a couple of days since Gaara left, and I'm feeling horrible. I worry a lot, because he can't call me or e-mail me or anything. I know he doesn't have a good relationship with his family, and I' wonder how he's doing...emotionally. I want him to be happy, and I just hope he is. I know I'm not as happy as I could be. I'd feel better if he were here. So we can sit in the courtyard or do some other silly stuff.

I don't sit in the courtyard anymore. I hardly even look at it from my window; it's just too empty. A part of me feels empty as well, but...another part of me feels whole. I've told Gaara about my parents. Well, at least what I've been told about them. I wonder how much of it is true. Either way, it felt nice when I told him, and when I received all the reassuring words he gave me.

Sadness comes over me, and I can't help it. It really is just too empty without him.

"It sucks!" I whine suddenly, Sasuke being the one around to listen. Or at least partly, seeing as he has his nose in a book.

"It's only for this month. Once Thanksgiving break passes, it won't be that much longer until he comes back. Time will fly. Don't worry." He mumbles, knowing what is on my mind.

"Easy for you to say. You get to go home to Itachi for Thanksgiving." I tease my friend a little, without much enthusiasm behind it.

He glares at me and then opens his mouth to speak, "So, what? You're not going home to Iruka?"

"No. The Thanksgiving break's too short, remember? I hardly ever go home." I mumble, and Sasuke gives me a look of pity.

"If you want, you can spend Thanksgiving with me." My friend offers.

"Nah, I wouldn't want to interrupt any time you can spend with Itachi." I say. "But thanks anyway."

"You sure? I mean, if you stay here for the whole break, it's going to drag on forever. You won't have anything to pass the time with."

"I'll manage, I'm sure."

"Oh, just come over to my house. It's not like me and Itachi are just going to jump each other the moment we see one another. We're not hopeless romantics like you and Gaara, Naruto." Sasuke says with a fake insulting tone behind it. I smile at my friend. I could just image what Sasuke and Itachi would think a romantic evening is: watching the news and debating politics over a glass of wine.

Then it hit me.

"How about I go to Gaara's house for Thanksgiving?"

"You don't even know were he lives."

"So? His brother is still here. Maybe I can get it out of him."

"I don't know, Naruto...how are you going to get there?"

"Bus, I guess."

"Where are you going to stay? I doubt his parents will let an unexpected guest spend the night."

"Oh, you always have to ruin everything, don't you, Sasuke?"

"Tell you what...if he lives close to where I live, I'll see if maybe I can't help or something." My friend mumbles.

"Really? Thanks!" I hug the raven haired boy, who drops his book in the process.

"Yeah, okay, enough with the hugging." Sasuke says in a monotonous voice. "So, does Gaara's brother even like you?"

I answer my friend truthfully. "I don't think he does. But hell, I'll find out were he lives if it's the last thing I do!"

"Well, you have less than a week, so good luck." With that said, Sasuke turns off the lights.


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter 27: A horribly sweet surprise

**Naruto's POV**

That bastard! What does he do all day? Not once in the past two days has Kankuro been in his room, well today I'm gonna wait for him to get here! Even if I have to wait till midnight! I ain't moving my ass from this spot until he shows up! This is day three of my attempt to find out were Gaara lives. Like I mentioned Kankuro hasn't been in his room though, and I can't find him anywhere around campus. So now I'm just gonna wait until he shows up. I need to know, I really do, I want to see Gaara. I don't care if that sounds obsessive or I'm just being a drama queen, I don't want to spend thanksgiving alone. And I most definitely don't want to spend it wondering if Gaara's ok, or if he's having trouble with his dad, or if he's cut his finger tips again. I mean I know he doesn't do that cause he's emo or whatever, but still I don't like thinking of him doing that when I'm not around. I don't mind when I'm around to keep an eye on him, and if some of that lands on me, I know it turns him on a little, and damn in all honesty it makes me a little hot too! And I don't care if that sound weird, I'm just not a normal person!

I slide down the door frame and settle in preparing for a long wait. It's been really dull, I've been talking to Sasuke a lot of course, and I don't' mind talking to him; but still I miss Gaara. Love bites, it makes you feel all lonely and it can drive you insane. I smile and settle my head on my arms, which are folded, over my knees. I also want to talk to Gaara a little more about, everything. I've told him about my parents, but it just feels like I need to get more off my chest. It really felt good when I told him about my mom and dad, but I want to say more. I want to tell him how lonely I was when I was a kid, because I know he'll understand, and I know we'll never be lonely again. We were both lonesome, him more then me, but I still want to say so much more. I want to hold him and know that it doesn't matter if people judge use, judge use like they've judged use all our lives. It doesn't matter because we have each other. I want him to remember that I'm his miracle, that I'm the one who loves him and likes being around him. I just don't' want his family to bring him down, I've seen the way his brother acts around him, I mean he's the one who said that I'm a miracle. I just don't want Gaara to forget that. I know he won't forget me, but I feel like I also need to remind him. I just don't' want his family to get him depressed, that's all. I know if I can just find out were he lives, even if it is far away from Sasuke's house, I'll take a bus; but if I can just find out were he lives then I'll be happy. I'll be clam and I won't have to worry too much. Just a little hello, that's not too much to ask for right? I think karma owes us both after the shit it's put use threw.

Something hits me in the side and I pull my head up to see what's s going on. I notice legs on top of me, and I push them of and get to my feet.

"Why the hell are you sitting in the middle of the hall!?" The boy yells, and rubs his head. He pulls himself up and brushes off his shirt and turns around to face me.

"Hey your that little fag kid aren't you?' I don't answer, and he looks at the door behind me. "Your boyfriend got suspended. Ha serves him right. He should have just taken his beating like a man instead of always fighting back," The boys eyes look me over, and I try to ignore him but I can't help the angry expression on my face.

"Don't worry I don't have time to waist on you. Even though it is tempting knowing I wouldn't have to deal with that witch freak butting in. But I'll cut you some slack. After all you must have been crying like a little girl when he left," he says mockingly and when I don't respond the boy leaves laughing rather loudly. I roll my eyes and sit back down on the floor, grateful that whoever that was, decided not to pick a fight. I'm really not in the mood, I just want to sit here and wait for Gaara's brother to shows up.

My eye lids start to become heavy and I'm sure the sun has already set out side. I get to my feet with a heavy heart. How am I suppose to figure out were Gaara lives when I can't even find his brother?

"Gaara ain't here what are you doing in front of my door?"

I turn around to see Kankuro and I feel such relief. I tackle him and squeeze the boy.

"Whoa shit man! I'm not like my brother unless you have boobs I'm not interested. Should have known you wouldn't stay with a freak like Gaara for long though. Don't blame you for crushing on me," he says in a cocky voice and I'm quick to let go of him.

"Don't flatter yourself fatty," I say poking him in his stomach. He glares at me.

"Why are you hanging around my door, you should know my freak of a brother isn't here."

"Yeah I know, but there's something you know that I don't' know that I wanna know, ya know?" The brunette looks at me odd, and opens the door to his room.

"I don't wanna deal with fags," he says and he makes to close the door behind him but I stop him.

"Just tell me were you live."

He laughs, "Why should I? So you can visit Gaara?" He laughs again and then a grin spreads over his face. "You know what that's not a bad idea, why don't you come visit him." I raise an eyebrow at his sudden swing in opinion. Then he sits and thinks for a moment.

"But love shouldn't come for free, now should it?"

"What are you getting at?'

"I have no idea what you see in my brother, but if you want to visit him; I'm sure he'll be happy to see you. And I'll be happy to tell you, I'm even giving you a bargain; cause I think this will both benefit us."

"Just spit it out, already."

"Fine, give me ten bucks and I'll tell you were you can find us." I glare at him and then reach into my pocket to take out my wallet. I open it up to only find five dollars. "Aw to bad," he smirks, and takes my whole wallet. He takes out my student ID and throws it at my feet.

" 166 beach drive, find out the district yourself," with that he shoves me away from the door frame and slams the door to his room. I fight the urge to kick at the door, and force myself not to cuss the bastard out. I turn around and go to my room, where Sasuke's waiting.

"How was your hunt today?

"Crap his brother will only give me the street name and house number. For all I know he could be living on the other side of the state!" I whine out to my friend.

"Calm down Naruto," Sasuke says opening up Internet explorer on his computer. "We'll goggle map it." I brighten up and a smile crosses my face.

"You're a genius!" Sasuke rolls his eyes at me, and goes to google.

"Ok what's the street name and number?"

"166 Beach drive," I tell him looking my friend over the shoulder, as he types the information in. He looks at the map and his finger goes to his chine.

"That's a rich neighbor hood, right by the beach…." He mumbles. "And lucky for you, this is just the next town over from were I live, so you could take a bus."

"Are you serious!?" My friend nods. "Thank you god! I'm so happy, so I can come to your house then?"

"Of course." Sasuke says calmly.

"Your such an awesome friend, and your so not emo no matter what everyone whispers behind your back," I say cuddling my black haird friend to death.

"Yeah yeah, stop with the crap. Save some of that for you boyfriend," he tells me attempting to pray me off him.

**Gaara's POV**

I listen to Nightwish on my CD player, I've bought another CD; the only time I've left the house. I avoid my father, but I am playing the rock music loud; not that it's much of a rebellion. But it gives me some sort of satisfaction. I also occasionally sit upon my porch and draw within the sand, before destroying it myself or letting the wind blow it away. The songs that play upon my CD only make my hand itch to touch a brush, to draw my muse. It still feels so odd being so very attached to him, and I feel so empty without his companionship. My mood has slowly fallen, I know this, I am very much aware of myself. I have no one to talk to but my sister, and she has school and other things she must do, besides her conversations do not thrill me. Stupidly all I wish for is my nymph. I wish to draw, to take photos, and let all my subjects be him; I do not care if it's redundant. I wish to express myself, but I'm trapped here in this hell.

Unexpectedly my door swings open and my father storm into my room and cuts off my CD player.

"I have a conference with a client, so get your ass out of the house." I look at him blankly.

Were is it that I'm suppose to go?

"I said get out! I don't' want you around, I don't' want my client to feel uncomfortable by sensing you evil energy! Or hearing your god damn satanic music! Now leave!" I still do not move, and with energy that came from anger my father lifts me up by my forearm and drags me out of my room and down the stairs. I do not feel the pain as his nails cut into my flesh, I do not feel it when my feet try to walk on there own but only get twisted into uncomfortable positions. They shall be fine, I will still be able to walk, and the crescent cuts on my arm that will be left there by my father will disappear as well. I am literally thrown out of my house. Along with a jacket, which I'm grateful for as the beach breeze chills me. I get up to my feet, and slowly start walking down the street, houses only occasionally pass me by as scenery.

Cars pass me as well, and I sit on a bench next to a bus stop at the end of my neighborhood street. If I at least had my camera maybe I could have gone out to find photo subjects. Another car turns around, and it slows down and comes to a stop just a couple of feet away from were I sit. My sister steps out.

"Are you going out? Or you want a lift home?" She asks.

"He probably did something to piss dad off," I hear my brothers voice. I look at the car and notice him sitting in the passenger seat. Temari spots me looking at him.

"Thanksgiving break started today," She explains. I only turn my head to look out on the road.

"He'll find his way back home, come on Temari," Kankuro says, and then a smirk comes to his face, and he hurries out of the car. He stands in front of me, I do not bother to look at him.

"On second though we should give him a lift home. Their might be someone looking for him later, and I wouldn't want him to miss that visitor." At this I look at my brother with a death threat in my eyes.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"You'll see, eventually, but you should stay home, is all I'm saying." I get to my feet, and even though he's taller then I am, I try to intimidate me brother.

"If this has anything to do with Naruto, I'll be sure to make one of my paintings reality, and hang you on the wall," I threaten, and I meant it. I've never felt so protective over anything in my life, and for a moment murder didn't seem like a big deal. Though torture would do too, either way I don't' want anyone messing with my Naruto.

"Oh just shut up and get your freak fagot ass in the car," my brother says rolling his eyes at me and sitting back down in the passenger seat. My sister stares on confused.

**Naruto's POV**

"We just got here Naruto, don't you at least want something to eat first?" Sasuke asks me, as I look at the map of his home town to find bus stops close by.

"Sorry, but I just can't wait, you understand right?"

Sasuke shrugs, and Itachi comes out of the guestroom. He gestures to it, indicating he's changed the sheets and such, just as he said he would, when we first arrived here.

"Thanks," I say happily, and I drag my bag into the room and throw it on the freshly made bed. I find a bus stop just a couple of blocks away, and I dash out of the room.

"I'll see ya later, Sasuke."

Sasuke looks on and shakes his head, I close the door behind me.

I step out of the bus, glade that I no longer have to listen to people coughing and babies crying. Should have taken some music to listen to instead of just running out. Lucky for me this bus took me all the way to the street Gaara lives on. Now I just gotta find his house.

I walk down the street noting all the house numbers and when I spot the house who's number would be 166, I see Gaara. A smile spreads across my face, and I run up to him. He's sitting on the doorsteps, and his eyes look at me with great depression.

I stop in front of him and get to his level; worry plain in my voice. "What's wrong?"

"Why are you here?" He mumbles, as if me being here is the worst thing in the world. I try to hold back the anger such a tone caused.

"I wanted to see you." He shakes his head and rubs at his temples. "Why? What's wrong?" Why are you even out here?

"My brother told me about getting a visitor…however my dad is still busy with some people and doesn't want me in the house. So I sat out here……Naruto it's best if you don't' come around here." He whispers.

"Cause of your dad?"

Gaara shrugs, "I don't really care, but I also don't want to put up with his yelling at me, and insults."

"I understand…but can't we at least hang out? I mean If you ever get tired of being at your house, I'll be at Sasuke's all week," I explain, letting my hand touch his. A brief I mean really brief smile crosses my red heads lips. And a soft solitude falls over us. We sit just holding one another hands. We're both happy to be around one another again. Are we really hopeless romantics?

The answer is a kiss. One that Gaara shyly gives to me. And it feels so nice. I close my eyes, and our lips just tickle one anther, as seagulls fly over head, letting out squawks. Squawks of disapproval? It wouldn't surprise me; doesn't seem like anyone likes our relationship. We scoot to the side a little, and I can feel how close to the edge of the stone steps we are. Then Gaara's lips part from mine, and we just look at each other for now.

"I suppose since my father is busy….I could show you the beach…stay with you for awhile," He explains in a monotone voice. And I nod my head. We circle around back, Gaara's home is not at all protected by a privacy fence. I look back at the large two-story house and Gaara leads me down a small sand mound. He crisscrosses to avoid stepping on the small amount of plants growing out of the sand. But once we reach the end of the hill, and the end of the plants, there's nothing but snow-white sand, and a sea with almost the same color as Gaara's eyes; but it was just a touch more blue. A breeze blows and I shiver.

"Damn its colder down here then it was up at your house," a say.

"It's always like that," Gaara explain taking off his black jacket and tossing it at me. I take it and slip it over my shoulder. I study my boyfriend just to make sure that the loss of a layer of cloths didn't cause him to get cold. He seems fine though; actually I don't even think he notices the wind. Gaara sits down just out of the tide's reach. I sit next to him.

"Why did here?"

"Because, I love you," I say, with a grin on me face. And I know it sounds sappy but honestly that's the only reason why I came down here. The only reason why I didn't mind sitting out waiting for his brother to show up. Or why I didn't care when he took my wallet. Gaara looks at me, and for a moment I could se no emotion, until I felt his thin lips brush against mine. A sweet thank you, I am willing to take. I wrap my arms around his shoulder pulling him closer, inviting him to join me in a more passionate kiss. And he is quick to get the hint.

I don't notice falling, but seeing as there's sand on my back, I'm sure I'm laying down now. It doesn't matter; I could care less about my surrounding. I'm more interested in the warm tongue encircling mine. For a moment I think I hear a noise, and I believe Gaara hears the same noise, and his lips slightly pull away from mine.

Feeling cold without his lips on mine, a pull his face to look at me. Since he was looking to see were the noise came from, "It's nothing," I whisper before starting our kiss again. Gaara however isn't at ease, and it seems the mood is ruined. I part our lips but am sure to keep him close, I pet his hair for no apparent reason.

"It was probably nothing, calm down," I tell him.

"It sounded like a screen door opening, I'm just making sure," he mumbles.

"Well if someone came out, I'm pretty sure they would have already made it down here by now," I explain, looking into his sea green eyes. Really just wanting to feel his lips again, wanting to be close. Finally Gaara relaxes a little, and our lips come together all over again.

**Gaara's POV**

Part of my mind is still alert, while the other wants to be completely at ease, and only indulge in Naruto. His hands cast some sort of spell on me as they run threw my hair or down my back; I slowly forget to worry about my father catching us. After all why would he come out here? He hardly ever leaves the house. Adjusting our body so we can get a better angle for our kiss, only causes shivers. Our hips brush together sensually, though that was not our intention. And now it seems Naruto can't help his wiggling beneath me.

"Um…Gaara," a voice breaks threw my clouded head. When I notice that it's not Naruto's voice I look to my left. Temari stands there just half way down the sand dome. I get up off Naruto who also sits up, and ruffles his hair with both hands to get the sand out.

"Well, you can come back into the house. Kankuro's done something really kind for you as well," she says with a slight smile, her eyes look upon Naruto. "He's convinced him to let your friend spend the night. He saw you out here..and he went back into the house to talk to father. I won't go into great detail as to how he convinced father…" she trails off. And I know that something along the lines of 'He will be confined to his room with his friend and unable to show his hideous face downstairs because he's with a guest,' was said to connive my father.

"But you are allowed to have a little sleep over," she smiles and walks up the hill.

Naruto's' blue eyes look at me happiness radiating off them.

"This is great," He says with no worry in his voice.

"I'm not so sure it is…." I mumble.


	28. Chapter 28

Lemon (backup will be put on live journal in case of deletion)

Chapter 28: Playing the game

**Gaara's POV**

I don't know what sort of motive Kankuro has. But I will not pass up a chance to be a little less alone and miserable in my jail. However I will be on guard and make sure nothing will go wrong. I've never had a friend over before, I wonder how it is my father will act. If he will be indifferent, rude, or act as though we are a perfectly normal and happy family.

I lead Naruto into the house. My father lets his eyes land on us for a short moment. "Try not to make to much noise," is the only command he gives us. I don't say anything in return, instead keep an eye out for my , as I show Naruto to my room. I know Kankuro must want to benefit from this somehow. Will he expose Naruto as my lover? I wonder. Yet it wouldn't matter to me, at the same time. My father already hates me I doubt that, that little peace of knowledge would do much damage. Yet Kankuro wants something, it's clear.

"Something up?" My muse asks me. I open the door to my room and shake my head slowly. The blonde steps in and takes a quick look around before directing his attention back to me. "Are you uncomfortable with me being here?"

"It's not that," I mumble.

"Well when your sister said I could stay…it seemed like it upset you or something."

"No, It's just strange," I explain in a monotone voice.

"Strange? That I'm here? I can leave if you'd like…"

"That's not what I'm saying, just never mind," I tell the blonde. He gives me a look before letting a smile grace his lips.

"Ok, cause in all honesty I wasn't about to leave. How's your suspension been? You getting along with your dad ok?" He asks somewhat shyly, taking a seat on my bed. I shrug my shoulders and sit next to him. A moment of silence, and then he takes my hands. His blue eyes focus on my finger tips.

"You haven't been drawing anything I see," he says with a bit of a smirk. I shake my head, but don't remove my hand form his grip.

"Well I'm kinda glade actually," Naruto muses.

"Did you fear I would find a new subject?" My attempt at teasing; a mimic of Naruto's' personality.

He lets his eyes close and tilts his head back, "Like you could find someone more interesting and sexier then me. Pssh, don't fool yourself," he says in a cocky tone, and I let the end of my lips slightly turn up in a brief smile. This is much better then the solitude I endured. I'm enjoying my nymph's company. He has been here for only a short time and already my mood has shifted. Still I can't help but feel a little bit of fear. A feeling that won't rest until I understand Kankuro's behavior.

"I'm really glade I was able to find out were you lived," Naruto sighs out lying back on the bed, his eyes wondering all over the walls of my room.

"How did you figure it out?" I ask emotionless, and really it is just a question. I could careless for the answer, I am just content that I'm able to see my muse. It's a pleasing turn of events.

"You're brother took all my money and my wallet, but it was worth it." I say nothing, not really having a response for the statement.

"Oh that reminds me, I need to call Sasuke," Naruto takes out his cell phone. "I'm actually staying with him for the break. Doesn't' live to far away thankfully," he explains dialing the number. He puts the phone to his ear, and I just wait. It seems that no one picks up the phone, seeing as Naruto leaves a short message and then hangs up with out a goodbye.

Naruto puts his phone away. "You have no change of cloths," I point out just now realizing this myself.

"Oh yeah…well I guess I'll have to due with the cloths I have, It's no big deal. I'll just take a shower over at Sasuke tomorrow to get rid of the funk," Naruto says casually. But then a change in his expression. "What do you think it's going to be like once you come back to school?"

"Troublesome," I utter truthfully.

"I guess your right…I know I'm so sick of all those bastards," Naruto grumbles out.

"Let's not dwell on them."

"Yeah. After all, we're all alone in your room, and I don't think anyone will bother us; right?" My nymph questions and elfish smirk on his face. Before I can even answer pulls me down and pushes his lips against mine. I do not fight him, instead adjust our positions so our noses aren't pressed against each other. Our kiss seems even more passionate then the one we shared on the beach. It's so strange I've gotten so use to this close contact, and I even crave the feeling, as our lips become one. Still at the same time I can't help but feel timid.

Naruto's hand runs desperately threw my short hair as if searching for something. He pulls me closer, his lips parting form one another, but not from me. I take his lower lip between mine, which causes a soft moan to escape form my muse. I bite down just slightly, and lick soothingly, this only seems to cause Naruto to become more restless. Our lips press together again, so hard so passionate that air is left out of my lungs. But I don't need the air, not yet. Naruto arches up, his body brushing against me. I can tell he wants touch, friction, but I push him down. I keep him on the soft cushion that is my bed. He isn't satisfied with that, and he turns his head, his hand pulling me closer. Our cheeks brush against each other and I can feel my blonde's lips on my ear; then on my neck.

"How will we do this," I whisper to him out of breath, as he continues his ministrations.

"Told you before, I don't really know sex wise," Naruto replies in a low voice. We let air fill a small amount of space between us. We both wanted so much more, but we both had a vague idea of how this could be done.

"I mean I've heard stuff. Ya know like all those prison jokes…." Naruto trails off. "But that doesn't sound to …pleasant. There's got to be more to it," He explains.

"Maybe there isn't," I offer.

"Well I don't know…doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun for me," Naruto points out with a pout.

"How else could it be done though?" I question him. I don't' want my muse to engage in anything he isn't comfortable with.

"I have no clue…but there's got to be some other way. It really sound like it would hurt…I mean there's a reason why you don't drop the soap," he says.

"Maybe it's not so bad. Maybe for them it is more like their ego is damaged then really their bodies," I try to comfort. Naruto's blue eyes look at me unsure. It's plain to see the fear within him, and he looks away in thought.

"We don't' have to," I tell him. His eyes come back to me, still unsure still afraid.

"Yeah, but I kinda don't' want to stay a virgin for the rest of my life. I just think..there's got to be more to it." I look at my muse, who seems to be coming to some sort of decision. I really see no other way, but I can also understand Naruto's fear. It does seem like there is a missing link, but I have not the slightest idea what it could be. Naruto knows more about the subject then I do, and he seems to have no ideas about the missing link as well. The thoughtful expression on my nymph's face, was somwhat..adorable. I couldn't help but kiss him yet again, he doesn't need to come to a decision: it won't matter to me either way. Though there is a strange build up inside me; possible sexual desire. However, my logic is more in control then my lust.

**Naruto's POV**

Wasn't I thinking about something? Trying to figure something out? Don't remember really, all I know is that Gaara's a really good kisser. I'm practically melting, and it couldn't get any better then this. Gaara's hand shyly travels under my shirt, and gains more confidence; he's getting use to these kinda of situations. Lips don't stay in one place, they bounce around from my neck, to my collar bone, and back to met my own lips over again. My eyes are half lidded, and my lips partly opened. I move my head back when Gaara's lips once again decides my necks a good place to tease. Slowly a hand snakes up my shirt. The attention my chest is getting is intoxicating. All the while Gaara's lips still busy themselves. Butterfly kisses turn into sucking, causing the blood vessel in my neck to pump harder. Or at lest it feels that way.

A knock on the door interrupts us, and I let out a groan. My red head goes to the door only opening it a crack.

"Um, dad wants you and Naruto to join us for dinner," I female voice states, must be Gaara's sister.

"…. We'll be down in a moment," he says shutting the door. I get off the bed and straighten my cloths out. Green eyes focus on the floor a moment as a pale hand absently reaches for the door handle for the second time.

"Something up?" I question.

"It's odd for my father to want to eat dinner with me around. I can't be responsible for what might happen.

I frown, "I don't' think anything bad will happen."

"I know my father isn't that stupid. But I know there will be discomfort."

I take Gaara's hand, he only pulls it away, and steps out into the hallway. "I'm sure everything will be fine," I reassure him, I get no response. No surprise there.

I follow Gaara into a dinning room, were Kankuro, and Gaara's father are seated. Gaara's sister brings out the last of the dishes containing food. Right away I could feel the head of the house holds eyes on me. I try to ignore it, but I can tell this is going to be awkward.

The meal starts, and I glance over at Gaara every once in a while, to see his expression. It's completely blank, and he looks at nothing in particular. Finally the sound of a fork gets my attention. Gaara's father looks at him briefly before turning his dull eyes towards me.

"So, what is your name?"

"Naruto, sir," I add the last part for good measure. I try to stay calm but I'm getting a really bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. When I peek at Gaara out of the corner of my eye, I see him almost glaring at his dad.

"And you seem to get along with my son?"

"Yes very well."

"How wonderful," the statement held no joy in it, and the older man studies me for a moment. I fidget feeling uncomfortable and take a bite of the food that was presented to me earlier; just because I felt a need to do something.

"I presume you are an orderly person. Someone who listens to his elders, doesn't cause trouble."

"I try not to sir…" Were the hell is this interrogation going?

"How much about my son do you really know? Do you honestly trust him?"

I open my mouth but, Gaara puts down his fork, rather loudly. I hesitate expecting Gaara to have an outburst, but my boyfriend keeps amazingly good control over himself.

"I do trust him…he's very kind…"I say wondering were exactly this conversation is leading.

"Yes kind…Usually kind people don't get suspended from school," Gaara shakes his head slightly. "Did you witness the fight?"

"Um…yeah…I mean yes. I did, it was mostly out of self defense really." I explain in Gaara's defense.

"Oh I see," I could tell by the tone of his voice he didn't believe me. "You know, Gaara's killed someone. He probably would have done the same to the poor boy. When he murder his uncle, he claimed self defense too. Convenient isn't it," His father says coolly taking a fork full of food to his mouth. Gaara doesn't react, and I don't either—except for the fact that my eye is twitching. How the hell am I suppose to react to that?

"It's amazing how you've come to trust my son. I'm grateful that there are still people out there willing to pity the filth in this world." My eye twitches even more, and I'm trying really hard to stay cool. I mean how can he say something like that! He hardly knows me and he doesn't care about Gaara! I was about to give him a peace of my mind, when Gaara tapped me with his foot. His green eyes giving me a warning to just keep quiet. So I do, except for the sigh I let escape my lips.

"I was hoping, that sending you to a boarding school would keep you out of trouble, Gaara. Maybe you should be more like your friend. He seems very polite." Both Gaara and me don't respond.

"Oh, have you seen the pictures he draws, Naruto," Once again the man directs his attention to me.

"Yes their very artistic, beautiful," I say with a fake cheerful smile, to cover up my annoyance with the old man.

"They are mediocre, and satanic. I don't' understand were I went wrong. Poor boy has some sort of sick fascination with death," Gaara's father says this as if he was just talking about the weather. "I really wish you would give up on drawing, Gaara. You really don't have any talent. You just disturb people. You really don't' have to give him false flattery Naruto. The amount of kindness you show this poor soul really is unneeded."

"It wasn't false flattery at all, I really do like his paintings," I say trying not to hiss out the words.

"Oh," the man replies disgust plain in his voice. He eyes me suspiciously. Gaara finishes his food, and picks up his plate. I follow his example even though I'm not through eating—I've lost my appetite anyway. I just want to get away from the table! We are able to make it upstairs to Gaara's room without trouble.

"What the hell is wrong with that man?"

"Ignore him," Gaara states in a depressed tone. He sits on his bed, and I sit next to him.

"He shouldn't say stuff like that. Especially in front of a guest," I say threw clenched teeth.

"He probably enjoyed humiliating me like that," Gaara points out.

"Well you know I like your art, and I don't care what your dad says, you're a good person." Gaara nods his head slowly, and I wonder if he is even listening to me. I take his hand, and look him straight in the eyes, "I love you."

"I…" I smile as Gaara doesn't finish the sentence, but lets a soft smile grace his lips for a moment. I kiss him on the cheek.

"I knew I made a good choice by coming here. Can't have you going all emo on my ass," I tease, trying to lighten the mood. Then I remember what it was that I was trying to figure out earlier. How to have sex without putting my ass on the line!

"Would you like to listen to some music?" Gaara questions me.

"Sure," I respond only half paying attention. I mean I know the basic, but I don't' know if that's really how two guys have sex. I mean it really doesn't sound all that comfortable. Ontop of that, I wouldn't be able to face Gaara, I don't think. And I'd like to face him. I mean I want to see everything that's going on, after all it would be our first time; I don't' want to miss a thing!

Music slowly starts to flood the room. Rock no surprise there. The bed sinks next to me, and my eyes look up to Gaara.

"Do we have to eat breakfast tomorrow. I don't' know if I can handle your dad."

"I don't know," Gaara replies truthfully.

"So he's always been like this?" I question. Gaara gives me a nod. "So I suppose I'm the first friend you've ever had over," another nod.

I let myself think a while and hum slightly to the rock music playing in the background. "Do you like it? This… all the change and shit?"

"What makes you ask that?'

I shrug, and let out a sigh. "I don't know. Just wondering. I like it. It's really not so bad as it use to be. Ya know when I look back…I'm so happy my life's the way it is know. But I can't help but wonder, if it's going to go down hill from here. After all those people at school aren't going to stop bothering us. Also there are people like that every were in the world," I mumble looking into green eyes.

"I am content either way," Gaara says in a monotone voice.

I smile, "I really hope this won't kill us."

"You worry about things that don't even have any ground," Gaara tells me.

"Yeah I guess, but I can't help it. Guess a part of me is expecting something bad to happen."

"You are not alone."

"Really?"

"I find it strange how Kankuro wanted you to stay here. It's foreboding."

"Oh that's why you were acting so weird earlier. Ya know I didn't even pick up on it. I was just so happy to be around you," I say truthfully. "But no really, it's not your bro I'm worried about. More like you're dad."

"I won't let him do anything to you. I doubt that he would even attempt it."

"It's not me I'm worried about."

"In life there is good and bad, don't worry about things that haven't occurred yet," Gaara says emotionlessly. With that I nod, and end the conversation; trying to keep myself from worrying.

"So you haven't been painting this whole time, have you?" I ask, knowing the answer, and I scoot a little closer. I take in a deep breath and hold it. Still trying to make up my mind about if I'm willing to try this 'sex' thing out, even if it sounds like it would hurt. Gaara shakes his head, in answer. His eyes study me, head tilted back slightly in wonderment. I grin at the expression.

"Your hand are probably just itching to paint," I say getting even closer. Gaara says nothing, watching me. I lean in almost touching his nose, I bit down on my lips. I tilt my head, so that my nose runs along his. Once my teeth let go of my lower lip, Gaara quickly captures them with his own. It's a whisper of a kiss. Our lips come together just enough so the small amount of blood on me stains Gaara.

"You seem so intent on being close to me," Gaara says in a low voice. The music that was playing in the background slowly starting to fade away.

"Yeah well, I'm kinda horny," I say bluntly. "We've been apart for so long. Beside you can't blame me for it, you're just to hot for your own good."

xXx

Gaara kisses me again, licking at my lower lip. "Does this mean you've come to a conclusion?"

"Well, we can try it…if you want."

"I don't care either way," Gaara says coolly.

"Well we can try, but if I tell you to stop, you do it right away." Gaara give me a nod, and trails kisses down my neck, as we lean onto the blankets. I feel excited but a little scared at the same time. I'm glade that Gaara has a sexual appetite though, at least I know I turn him on. Though he still seems a little shy and unsure, in some of his kisses.

He bites down on my neck, I gasp. Maybe it's not that he's shy about kissing, maybe he doesn't really like to do it. Maybe he prefers to bite. Which I can understand if he's unsure about that, after all he is causing me pain. I'm sure he doesn't want me to be uncomfortable. But I told him before I could care less if he has a blood fetish. Beside something about getting bit on the neck is just, I don't know; hot. I feel tingly all over! No wonder vampires are a symbol of sex appeal.

Gaara sucks at my vein. I'm not really bleeding badly, but I could feel that his teeth cut into my skin. It won't kill me.

I let my hands rest on Gaara's hips. Lifting his shirt just a little so I can feel his skin. Lips move down to my collarbone, gracing me with little nips and nibbles. A hand slips under my back and another under my leg. I'm lifted just a little bit, just enough so I can slid towards the middle of the bed. Gaara adjust himself so he's on all fours over me. His legs on either side of my hips. Fingers trail down my arm. Gaara parts himself from my neck, and I let out a sound of disappointment. I watch him threw half-lidded eyes has he takes my arm. His fingers gently ghost over my skin, as he kisses my, hand and then wrist. Teeth test the skin, and I shiver. He must be near a blood vessel. But his interest doesn't stay there, and instead goes to the bend in my arm. Kissing licking, and finally biting.

"Ah," I wiggle a little, and move my neglected arm to touch Gaara's head. He looks up at me. I close my eyes showing that I trust him that I'm not in too much pain. I feel fingers on the wound, and they spread the blood down my arm to my fingertips. Then those same fingers intertwine with mine tightly.

Lips meet again, in a slow sensual expression of love. When we part our eyes meet, and I see an almost animal like instinct and passion in those sea green orbs. I wouldn't be surprised if my eyes held the same emotion. My shirt comes off, and a hand runs down my chest and caresses my side, finding my hipbone to be a nice spot to rest. A somewhat timid tongue laps at my nipple, before my s encourage it to continue. Soon I'm engulfed and a pleasant sucking sensation sends tingles all down my spine.

My hands become restless and I run them along the material of Gaara's s shirt. I tug at it, wanting it to come off; my lover ignores my requested. Instead he turns his attention to the previously ignored left nipple. But I want to feel skin. His chest against mine. Oh, just the thought of the feeling makes me want to rip off his shirt.

The feelings going threw me, cause me to moan; and I sit up. Gaara looks at me, a little concerned. I take advantage of this by pulling of his shirt. Once the piece of clothing is discarded I wrap my arms around him, and pull him close. Pushing our lips together hard. He pulls away breathing harshly, and then kisses me again. I open my mouth ready to take him in. I don't wait long. Our breath mingles along with our saliva, and I feel like I can't get enough air; but right now oxygen is the last thing on my mind.

My hands run down his bare back, and our chest rub together. "Unn…" I turn my head away from Gaara's dominate lips. The need for air had become to great, the simple feel of his smooth soft skin too much for my senses. I won't be breathing regularly for a long time.

Gaara's hand slides down my side, and he scoots down further. He doesn't stop at my chest, instead my belly button. His tongue dips in and I let out a soft chuckle at the delightful sensation. I wiggle a little, and find a way to wrap my legs around the middle of Gaara's back.

Soft touches trace my side, and a thumb slips under the band of my jeans. Pressing on my hipbone, almost painfully. I close my eyes, and reach my hand out to touch anything. Hoping I would find skin, but I only feel spiky hair.

How is it that he knows what to do? Were to kiss, and lick? How to touch me and send those shivers threw my spine? I feel his hands on my thigh, and I loosen my hold around him. I can her him move, and feel the weight change. I open my eyes and hear the sound of my pants being undone. I take in a deep breath, and blow it out slowly as gentle tugs pull down my jeans.

I feel a little bit more freedom, and my jeans land somewhere on the floor. A hand slips up my thigh, easily pushing the lightweight material of my boxers out of the way. I can feel his soft palm caressing my inner thigh. And soon I feel prickling sensations all over my leg, as lips whisper over my skin. Gaara doesn't seem so shy at all any more; as he nips at my flesh. All the while my boxers keep riding up.

While he's busy with that, I take my feet and slowly attempt to tug down Gaara's own pants. He doesn't t seem to protest as I successfully wiggle down his loose fitting jeans; almost taking his underwear with them.

The cool air touches my skin, as my boxers are completely removed. I close my eyes out of slight embarrassment, for a moment. The sound of cloths falling tot he floor attracts my attention though. I dare to open one of my eyes, and see that I'm not the only one with out cloths. With red tinted cheeks I let my eyes slowly run over the body in front of me. I take in a deep breath, and reach up to my red head lover craving another kiss.

Gaara is glade to supply me with his lips. Nails dig into my hip, and another set into my thigh. I hiss out in satisfaction at the sensation. Only to have my moan be swallowed up by my lover.

Gaara invades my mouth, while slowly lifting me up. We rub against one another, and a pleasing sound comes from my red heads lips. I also let him know that I though it felt very nice to touch like that. Gaara looks down maybe to better see what he's doing. A thoughtful expression comes over him, but it soon disappears as out lips meet again. I wrap my arms around his neck, smothering our lips together. Once again I'm lifted, but this time our erections don't' come in contact with one another. Instead I can feel myself being brushed against Gaara's stomach.

"Mmm," I turn my head, to kiss along Gaara's jaw line. Then I feel something poke at my backside. A flash of confusion registers in my brain but then a flood of hormones blocks out said confusion. A hand guides my face back, to capture Gaara's lips in a kiss again. The red head takes my bottom lip into his mouth and begins to suck, occasionally biting down. And slowly that poking feeling turns into a pressing feeling, and then—

"Ah shit!" I yell out and Gaara stops immediately. My breathing is heavy and harsh and I wiggle trying to get away, but really just making it worse for myself.

"I can't stop," Gaara breathes out coolly, seductively.

"No…ah..That's ok. Un..It's not so bad," I lie. But I don't want to stop, I'm gonna try to go all the way. Unless it start to hurt to bad, or I start bleeding terribly. But I don't' think I'll bleed, unless intentional. So Gaara kisses me again, to distract me as he pushes in furthers. This position..I would have never thought it would be like this. But I'm glade, I want to be able to see his face. My nail s dig into his shoulder, and I let out a hiss. Gaara's lips sweetly and softly kiss my cheek and my chin, pushing in deeper and deeper. Making it more uncomfortable for me. I'm starting to believe this really isn't going to be fun for me at all. But a part of me wont' let me speak the word 'stop'.

Then something strange comes over me. There's no more pushing, and I wriggle a little bit underneath Gaara who has stopped moving. A grin spreads over my face. This actually feels rather nice. It's an odd feeling, but there isn't so much pain anymore, just a filling feeling that's seems to press into my back. I move my hips a little bit experimenting.

"Move," I whisper to Gaara, and he does so gradually. Pain comes over me again and I wince, but Gaara don'ts seem to notice. His head resting in the crock of my neck, I can feel his warm breathe there, and occasionally when he pushes into me, his lips brush lightly over my skin. I move slowly as well, still feeling discomfort, and attempting to make it feel nicer.

The pain start to lessen but it's still there, and it's an even amount of pain and pleasure. An intoxicating mixture, that's slowly driving me wild. I move along in time with Gaara, who's becoming more forceful. His breathe uneven, and panting. Mine is the same though I sigh a lot, to try and catch my breath, only to have a low moan escape my throat and mess up my breathing again.

"Oh…Gaara.." I sigh out, in complete bliss, as I feel something inside me being hit. It feels great, and I try to have that spot be brushed over again. Gaara' hit in me even deeper, harder, and I can't help but yell out.

"Shhh," Gaara breathes out. "Not so loud," he moans. I nod my head, and try to keep it quiet. Though it's hard because the feeling inside me is so amazing. There's still so much pain, and Gaara's being so vigorous, but I don't care about that. All I care about is how damn good it feels. The pain only adds to my daze of pleasure. I dig my nails even deeper into Gaara's skin, and I can feel it give way.

"Ah, Naruto…" Gaara moans out almost silently, and I feel the small amount of blood pool around my fingertips. My red head drives into me harder. My breath hitches and I feel like I'm about to choke. I tilt my head back, and bite my lip hard, trying to keep myself from yelling out. I squeeze my eyes shut, and doing so only seems to enhance the sensations. I can feel Gaara within me so well, and occasionally his stomach brushes over me, driving me insane…so…

"So…close…" I whisper out harshly followed by a low throaty moan. I don't' think I can take much more of this. Gaara's warm breathe flows over my skin harshly. God I don't think I can….My hands leave Gaara's back quickly to cover my mouth so I can muffle my climax.

One of Gaara's hand pulls my hand away, but luckily my scream has died down to a simple "—a"

I can feel teeth on my neck, but they do nothing, and Gaara keeps up a more frenzied pace. I ride out my climax, until I feel something within me, something warm, sticky, and oddly enough nice. I wiggle a little bit, still in a daze and enjoying the warmth inside me.

Gaara's body is completely relaxed over me. But then he pulls himself up and out. He rests next to me, managing to get the covers from under us. He drapes them over us both, and I notice red on the black sheets, and a lot of it at that. I look a little confused, I don't' remember us bleeding that much. I ignore it and instead cuddle up to Gaara, who runs his hand down my back, still trying to catch is breath.

I wince a little when his hand stops at my lower back. He removes his hand to look at his fingers. "Were you in a lot of pain?" He asks abruptly.

"No why?"

"Because you're bleeding," he points out showing me his fingers. I shiver a little, feeling a bit excited about the revelation really.

"Doesn't matter it felt great," I muse, wrapping my arm around Gaara's chest and letting my forehead rest on his collarbone.

xXx

**Gaara's POV**

I watch the door, as the dreamy like feeling of what me and Naruto have just done, disappears form y body. I hadn't locked the door, I'm glade no one seemed to have heard us. Or if they did, they didn't pay us much attention. I hear the rhythmic breathing of my muse, and when I look down I see that he's fallen asleep. I can't help the small smile that tugs at my lips. I myself feel a little tired, but I cannot take my eyes off the door.

Naruto rolls over in his sleep letting out a content sigh. I sit up in the bed, and in the distance I hear footsteps. Along with muffled sounds of conversation. I get out of my bed, quickly slipping on pants and a shirt, not bothering with the underwear. I head towards my door to see what is going on, but just at that moment a loud knock shakes the wood.

Naruto grumbles, but he seems determined to ignore the noise. I open the door a small amount. I see Kankuro and my father on the other end. Kankuro has a smirk on his face and my father seems annoyed.

"Kankuro's complaining about noise. I though I told you and your friend to be quiet. I though having him here would keep you in your room and out of trouble, but you always seem to find a way to piss someone off."

"We'll be quiet," I mumble trying to shut the door.

My father's hand stops me and pushes the door open a little more then I would like it to be. "What is it that you two are even doing in here?' My father asks annoyed.

"Yeah I heard a whole lot a of weird noise," Kankuro says an evil glimmer in his eyes.

"It's nothing, we'll keep quiet from now on," I say yet again trying to get rid of the unwanted visitors.

My father looks in my room, scanning it, and his eyes land on my bed, after noting the cloths on the floor. He pulls me outside my room and closes the door.

A/N: Chapter 30 is probably going to be the last chapter. Though because i can't have a 'real ending', i'll probably will have to have a sqeul to make up for any


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29: Tiered of the struggle

**Gaara's POV**

"Kankuro leave," he commands my brother. Kankuro frowns but does as he's told. My father pulls me close to him, looking me straight in the eye.

"Let me tell you something that I don't' think you've come to understand. I don't want you causing any damn trouble, I don't need anymore of your damn attitude. I sent you to that boarding school to keep you out of trouble but it seems you're to damn stupid to take a hint. You have sick habits and fantasies, which I would hope you'd grow out of. But it seems you've been determined to be the worst son in history. Now when I asked you this next question, act a little bit more human, and use your brain. Answer me straight you got that!" He says crushing my forearm tightly. I nod with a glare directed at him.

"Kankuro's complaint, it was of noise. Tell me did you have sex with that boy?" My father didn't even seem to believe that he was asking me such a question and disgust was hard to over look seeing as it was written all over his face.

"Yes,"" I hiss out at him, not being modest about it at all.

My father throws me against my door. "What is it with you? Do you not understand what I'm trying to do for you? Why couldn't you have just turned out normal! Why do you have to be so sickening to look at? I though you'd benefit from being sent away, I thought I would benefit from such a thing too. I even entrusted that Kankuro would keep an eye on you. But it's obvious you are too much for anyone to handle. Getting suspended! Fucking boys! Drawing those sick pictures! You need to be straightened out, learn how to behave like a human! Not a phsyco or murder!"

"What will _you_ do _father_?" I ask him, not at all afraid to look into his eyes.

"Don't get cocky with me!" he yells opening the door to my room and pushing me inside. "You just stay here, I don't want to see you, don't' you dare come out of this god damn room until I call for you!" With that my door slams.

"What's going on?" Naruto asks sitting up in the bed.

"Kankuro seemed to want to expose us," I mumble.

"What? You mean…oh crap."

"I don't know how this will benefit him exactly. He doesn't like me, but he's not one to cause trouble between me and my father for no reason," I think out loud.

Naruto slips out of bed pulling on his boxers. "You gonna be ok?"

"I have no idea…."

"You're dad isn't going to do anything drastic…right?" Naruto's azure eyes hold worry and his hand reaches out for mine. I lead him back to the bed.

"Go to sleep and don't worry about any of this," I tell him.

"How can I not worry!" He yells at me. I say nothing, instead just get up and go around the bed, to lay on the other side. Naruto watches me the whole time. He opens his mouth to speak but then decides against it. Instead he lays down next to me. Close to me, his hand resting on my chest.

"You better be ok, I won't worry if I know you'll take care of yourself," he whispers closing his eyes. I stroke his spiky golden locks, watching the door still.

My father doesn't like to be bothered with me. And Kankuro doesn't like to upset my dad, unless it benefits him somehow. I wonder what it is Kankuro thinks he might gain from this. I wonder what it is my father is planing to do. I know that he's sitting in his bedroom right now thinking of something. Maybe I am the worst son in history…but he never was much of a father towards me. To him I'm just the person who took away his beloved wife, the one who killed his own uncle in cold blood. He never sees the flaws in me as being his fault. I know full well he's not innocent, and I may not be perfect, but how much of my flaws are only seen by him? Anything I would do would be horrible. But, I'm not surprised he's disgusted with finding out about Naruto and me. Most parents wouldn't be happy, they wouldn't understand. Most people don't like to deal with things they don't understand, that don't fit into what is 'normal'.

But I don't' care, I've never fit into the norm. I was never given the chance. I watch as Naruto sleeps lightly, I know that if I were to move right now he would wake up. So I sit still and let my hand drop from his hair. I feel a tinge of fatigue as well, and I rest my head in a comfortable position on the pillow. Let my thoughts disappear for a while. Hopefully I won't be kept up by them, sleep would be nice right now.

I close my eyes and listen to the muted sound of snoring coming from Naruto. He's entered a slightly deeper sleep and the rhythmic sound of his heavy breathing lulls me, like a song. I relax completely and just listen to the light snoring, sleep consumes me.

A noise stirs me, and movement next to me causes me eyes to open. "Gaara..?" a sleepy voice sails to my ears. I look at Naruto sitting upright and rubbing his eyes. "Someone knocking at the door," he yawns out.

I get out of my bed, and stand in front of the door. Wondering who it could be. I'm sure father would have just barged in. I open the door and see Temari's sad dark eyes.

"Father says you're friend should go home…you can't see him off. I'm sorry Gaara, dad want's you to stay in your room. He's very upset…I think it would be best I you stayed out of his way for now." I give my sister a nod. "I could walk him to the door for you," she offers next. I look back at Naruto who gives me a nod.

"That would be nice," I mumble back to her.

"Ok I'll be waiting when ever he's ready." I close the door.

Naruto pulls on his cloths clumsily, stumbling. "You sure you're going to be ok with your dad and shit?"

"Yes," I tell him plainly. He doesn't seem convinced.

He goes to pick up some blank paper and rummages around to find a pencil. He scribbles something down. "Call me. If you don't call by nine tonight, I'm going into full panic mode," he threatens.

I take the paper from him, "I will try and contact you."

"Ok…well good luck," with a kiss upon my cheek and a lingering look my blonde nymph leaves me alone in my prison reluctantly.

I turn to my closet and pull out a new set of cloths wondering if I'm allowed to leave my room to take a shower. Just as I was about to leave for the restroom my door swings open. I hear the front door downstairs close, and I know that Naruto is probably on his way back to his friends house. Which give my father—the one responsible for bursting into my room—a chance to do what he pleases without worrying about a witness.

Though his eyes are cruel and uncaring as they stare me down, I keep his gaze. Clutching my intended outfit for the day to my chest. My father turns up his nose in disgust.

"Take a shower then come to the kitchen, you have ten minutes. Don't take forever," he explains sternly walking out, not bothering to close the door.

I enter the bathroom and turn on the water, wondering what it is I am to encounter once I enter the kitchen. My father seems entirely to calm. I wonder if this is because he still hasn't fully come up with an idea as to how to punish me. Or if it is just that he's so angry he cannot think straight.

I step into the shower once the water becomes lukewarm. I let the water wash over me, a last moment of calm before the storm. I prepare myself wondering still what my father will do and say. Most of all, wondering how this whole thing will benefit Kankuro. Is it simply that he want's to make my life miserable? It seems for the men in this family, it's amusing to torment me. Though it doesn't hurt, it doesn't mater. I let a vision of my muse consumes my mind. I relax again just feeling the water flow over me.

I turn off the water after I clean myself. Stepping out into the cold air I reach for a towel and commence drying myself off. I listen to see if I can hear any sounds from the outside, any clue as to what my father will do to me. I get dressed slowly peacefully. Still everything seems too quiet to calm. Will the storm be a horrible one? Will there be more then words and pushing?

I step out of the bathroom my hair still damp. I walk down the stairs keeping my eyes open for anyone. Maybe I could spot Kankuro and asked him what it is that he thinks he will gain from causing this disturbance.

I enter the kitchen and my father sits there, with a displeased look on his face. I'm not worried and I'm not afraid as well. I take a seat in front of the eyes that stare me down with distaste.

"I can't handle you anymore. Who've been nothing but a disappointment the moment you were born." I say nothing. "You're not even going to attempt to defend yourself? Well at least one thing as sunk into that thick skull of yours." Still I do not respond.

"I thought isolating you in that school would really do you some good. Would straighten you out, would help you see all the sins you've soiled your hands with. And you would be obedient." He never hoped for such things. He only says this, truth is he couldn't stand to look at me. A reminder of all the things _he's_ done wrong. I keep my eyes connected with his.

"The police said you were young and it seemed to be an accident. I find that hard to believe. Blood has been on your hands your whole life. And now…you've gone to a new low. It's as if you've spawned from hell. Taking part in sexual activity with a boy. What is wrong with you?"

"I love him," I tell my father knowing he won't care, but still feeling the need to say those words. To rebel against him even more. To show that I will not submit to what he expects me to be.

"Love? You don't' even know what that is. Everyone who's ever loved you you've killed, if not physically then mentally. My own mind is becoming inpatient with you," He hisses out. I glare at my father. "It's not natural. But then again you seem fascinated with morbid and socially unacceptable behavior. You were always a sick child. Well I'm tiered of it. I'm doing what I should have done a long time ago." He gets up from his chair and I tense. He laughs at me.

"What you are finally afraid? It's not me you should be worried about. You're going to get the punishment you deserve for all your murders. I'm taking you away from the innocent, so you can no longer taint them." I say nothing just study my father as he smirks and circles around the table to stand near the exit behind me.

"I'm taking you out of that boarding school were you already have caused trouble. I'm enrolling you in military school," with that said he leaves. I sit unbelieving. Military school? The only thing that registers is that I will be taken away from my muse's reach. I get up and turn towards my father. I grab his arm. This time I'll be the one with the crushing grip.

"Face me look at me!" I yell at the man I hate so much. He turns with an amused expression upon his lips.

"What is it are you up—"

"Shut up! You see me? This, everything I am it's your damn fault! All those pictures I draw are because you blamed me for _his_ death. I wasn't even completely aware of my actions my drawings helped me cope. You shunned me, you dint' want to face me. You're a coward!" A sting runs threw my cheek and when I touch my face I feel blood running from my lip.

"It's not my fault you're a disgusting unloved human being. You killed everything that ever loved you!"

"You turn away from anything that reminds you of mother! And of uncle too! Because you were to afraid to except reality!"

"Shut your mouth!" I'm slammed against the wall, my father's fingernails digging into my skin.

"Do you think by hurting me, you'll bring her back?"

"I said shut up!" I stare into my father's angry eyes. His grip loosens and then tightens again as he drags me up the stairs. "I'm tired of your shit. You're mother didn't deserve to suffer like she did! To go insane as she did! You should have died not her! Get in your room I don't' want to see you until it's time for you to leave. And then you can try acting like that in Military school, see what happens!" I'm thrown into my room and the door is slammed shut. I glare at the wood, and then an odd noise comes from behind the doorway. The sound of furniture moving.

I run up to my door and push on it, only being able to open it a centimeter before something blocked it. I can't believe this…what was I saying? Such things…I hadn't even thought of saying such words to him. But it felt good. Why should I be the only one to blame? Why can't it be his fault as well? Why didn't he see that my uncle was trying to kill me? As a father shouldn't he have protected me? Why did his eyes only see a cold-blooded killer. He never liked my pictures because they depicted death, but that is how I handled the situation. The only way I could express myself because if I ever brought the subject up I was yelled at. That's why no one really understands my art. That's why I don't' like my art to be in competitions, because no one ever really notices the meaning behind them. The pain, the blood that went into them

I let my back hit the wall as I slide down to the ground. My hands cup my head. Everything is to much.. I've never felt so many emotions before…I wonder what it is my muse is doing. Where he is now. Because he loves me. He said so himself, I haven't killed him….yet. But will I? Will I drive him away? Is it him that will cause me bad luck, like his mother? Or is it that he's walking the footsteps of his father? Getting himself involved with a misfit, an outcast that no one loves….

**Naruto's POV**

I reach for the doorknob, not expecting the door to be unlocked but amazingly enough it is. I peek in to the house of my best friend, and close the door behind me.

"Sasuke?" I call out wondering why the doors unlocked and he's no where in sight.

I look in the kitchen and no ones there either. Finally I just shrug it off, it doesn't look like anyone broke in. Besides I need a shower. I walk down the hall past my guest room and towards the bathroom. Then something tickles at my ear, I listen closer. Is that moaning? Oh well no wonder I can't find anyone in the house, seems like they're still in bed. I chuckle to myself a little, and open the bathroom door.

I turn on the water and then go back to my room to pull out some clean cloths. When I put down my outfit and test the water, it's just warm enough. I turn on the shower and strip before stepping in.

I let the water run over me for a minute before reaching for the soap. I feel a pain shoot threw my lower back as I bend down for the soap. I wince, and massage the spot were it hurts. I wonder if that has anything to do with what Gaara and me did last night. I couldn't think of anything else I did to mess up my back. Unless I slept in an odd position and wasn't aware of it. I was in a little bit of pain this morning as well, before I had to leave Gaara's house. I hope he's ok.

I don't know Gaara's father well enough to really even know what to expect. I just hope that I'll get a call tonight before nine o'clock. The earlier the better, I don't want to spend the whole day wondering, and worrying. But maybe Gaara's father isn't abusive. Yes Gaara always looked grim when he heard he had to go home, and he still had a sad expression once he came back. But I've never seen him with a black eye or other sort of bruise. But…maybe I never really paid close enough attention. Ok Naruto you're gonna send yourself into a panic attack!

I take in a deep breath and try to block out all my negative thoughts and concentrate on cleaning myself. I turn off the shower and run a towel threw my hair before drying myself and warping it around my hips. I wipe the mirror to get rid of the fog, and ruffle my damp hair to make it perk up a bit. Then I pick up my cloths and change.

I step out feeling clean and refreshed. This time the sound of the TV reaches my ear. It would probably be good to go watch some TV and hang out with Sasuke. Even if it does mean for a moment I'll have to explain what happened at Gaara's house, and I'll feel that tinge of worry in my heart. But after that maybe Sasuke will serve as a good distraction.

In the living room Sasuke's stretched out on the couch, and I see Itachi disappear into the next room a book in hand.

"Morning, I got your message," Sasuke says. I sit in an arm chair next to him.

"That's good," I say.

"I didn't expect you'd be home so early though."

"Something came up," Sasuke eyes me for a moment and then nods.

"You want to talk about it?"

"Nah, if I do I'm only going to worry more."

"That's understandable. Oh tomorrow can you help me with cooking?"

I laugh a little, "Sure but I don't' know if I'd be much help. But I can't pass up the chance to see you in an apron and such."

"Well don't get your hopes up, it's not like I'm going to be wearing heals and a dress."

"It would make thanksgiving quite fascinating, however," Itachi's monotone voice calls from the other room.

"Don't you have a book to read, darling brother?" Sasuke says with a little bit of a playful hiss. "But anyway, we wont' be cooking that much. Not like we have a lot of mouths to feed. But your help would be appreciated."

"Yeah like I said I don't mind helping really." I wonder if Gaara will have a pleasant thanksgiving. I kinda doubt he will. I cant' help but think that the trouble he's in…is my fault. I really wanted to see him, and I thought I was doing a good thing; because I know he's miserable at his house. But maybe it wasn't such a great idea after all.

"You sure you don't want to talk about what happened?" Sasuke ask me, and I notice that I must have let my guard down. I plaster on a smile quickly.

"It's really nothing, I'm probably over reacting." Sasuke just stares at me. "Ok fine… think I caused some trouble for Gaara. I'm worried about him. His dad got really anger at him…"I trail of.

"I'm sure Gaara can take care of himself. You should believe he's ok. After all what's the worst that can happen? Even if his dad is abusive it's not like he'll kill him or something."

"You're not really helping Sasuke," I groan out.

"Oh come on. You're little boyfriend will be just fine," Sasuke urges, and I give a slight nod.

**Gaara's POV**

I hear Father's car pulling out. I also heard the front door slam only moments before. It's been almost two hours since our little 'talk'. It seems that after mulling the words I yelled at him over he's left. Seeking even more distance from me by driving to some unknown location. I don't care, all I know is that I have a chance now, to leave as well. I throw myself at the door which I've opened as far as I possibly could. The sound of whatever my dad pushed in front of my door scratching the wood floor, drives me on. Once again I throw myself against my door and with that the door opens just enough so that I can slip threw. I'm grateful for my slim body, as I take the bag I've packed and slip between the small opening.

I walk down to the kitchen and reach for a jar ontop of the refrigerator that holds 'emergency money'. I open the top and take out a hand full of bills not being picky about it. I stuff them into my pocket and put the jar back. Then I slowly start heading for the exit.

"Were do you think you're going? How the hell did you even get out of your room?" I stop and turn to see Kankuro. I only give him a brief glance before deciding I could care less if he tries to stop me. I continue for the front door.

A hand locks onto my shoulder and spins me around, "I'm talking to you."

"Leave ma alone," I say with no passion behind my voice. I am tiered, today I do not wish to deal with anymore trouble. For once I wish for something to go right, and that I can find peace.

"Why? So you can run away like some baby. So what if you are going to military school. It's no big deal." I glare at my brother. "Oh I'm sorry are you going to miss your boyfriend?" I say nothing just push him away from me.

His eyes suddenly soften. "Look Gaara I know dad can be an ass to you, but where the hell do you think you can go?"

"Why do you care?"

"I don't but dad told me to look after you while he's gone. You should be happy you're not in that stuffy old all boys school. At least in military school there'll be chicks….I think."

"So you did this just so you won't have to 'keep an eye on me' at the boarding school?"

"Why should I waste my teenage years in that place just cause dad doesn't like you? This time you're the only one being shipped off and I can go to a normal high school" I say nothing, I don't' want o talk to him anymore and I reach for the door.

"Gaara stay here. You wouldn't make it out there on your own anyway. Stop being such a pussy, once you're eighteen your out of school and can do what you want."

"Then why anger dad? Why not hold out like you're telling me to do?" I counter.

"Because it isn't fair. You know what mind your own business, and get your ass back up stairs," he snaps at me a little, and reaches for my arm pushing me back into the hall.

For a moment I wanted to rebel, but I am tired. I will think of another way out of this jail. Or perhaps I will just have to suffer two more years. I head towards the staircase, but then it hit me. I should call Naruto, lest he be worried. I go to the kitchen, but Kankuro grabs me.

"Get upstairs. If dad came home he's have a fit. Just stay in your damn room!" I'm pushed into the stair rail. I stumble a little but I catch myself, I don't even bother to waist energy glaring at my brother. I simply walk upstairs. I fight the urge to hurt my brother to make him bleed and cry out in pain as I laugh. I know I could so easily do that. But then what would I have accomplished? If I were to hurt Kankuro, our father would only make my punishment worse. I am a minor…I have no power. But still I imagine my brother in pain, and my father being tortured, and I a smile to myself at the images.

Kankuro follows me to make sure I slip back into my room. I feel the pain of throwing myself against the door in my shoulder slightly, as I squeeze myself back into my jail. I am tired so very tired, why can't this all just end? My brother pushes the piece of furniture that I had managed to budge, back in front of my door tightly. I don't care anymore. I can't fight anymore, I want to but it all seems meaningless….


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30: A promise, we will not forget

**Naruto's POV**

"Naruto did you pack up your stuff?" Sasuke question, I don't answer. Instead just look at the ceiling. "You've been acting weird, what's on your mind?"

"I haven't heard from Gaara at all…and I'm to afraid to go check on him…"I mumble. Thanksgiving break is coming to an end today and still I've heard nothing from my boyfriend.

"Well we're going back to school, and his suspension will be over at the end of the month…so you can talk to him there," Sasuke reassure me.

"Yeah I guess…but still what if something horrible has happened?"

"I'm sure everything's fine Naruto." Sasuke leaves my room. I sit up, and look around. I think I've packed everything…But maybe I should just take one finally bus trip…. No if I show up it'll only cause Gaara more trouble. I have to stay here and think positive.

The day I left Gaara's house he never called, even after nine o'clock; I felt my heart sink at that time. But I told myself there's still plenty of time for him to call me. I wanted to believe he'd call, and I was able to stay awake until four in the morning until I finally fell asleep. Luckily on Thanksgiving I had plenty of distractions helping Sasuke and stuff. But still my mind would occasionally wonder to thoughts of Gaara. I was so scared.

Time's running out now. I can't help but feel worried, feel like something bad happened, and that's why Gaara can't call me. I can't help but feel that this is all my fault. That I'm the one causing Gaara so much trouble just like my mom caused my dad trouble. Will all these things, all this pain, drive us insane? Drive me to suicide? I just want a happy ending is that too much to ask for?

I can deal with the jerks in our school, but I can't handle not knowing what's going on right now. I can't handle not having the slightest idea if Gaara's ok. My phone suddenly rings, and I jump up and grab it off the bed stand I put it on.

"Hello?" I ask frantic.

"Naruto?" I let out a sigh of relief.

"Gaara I'm so glad to hear your voice. Are you ok? What took you so damn long to call me!"

"I'm sorry. My brother and father have been keeping me locked up basically. But they've left to go to the boarding school, and left Temari in charge of me." He explains.

"Oh…so what happened? Are you hurt?"

"No, like I said my father only really locked me up…"

"That's good…well I mean that's not good but, ya know. It could have been worse…I guess."

"Naruto…"

The sound of Gaara's voice frightened me, "Yes?" I ask timidly, I hear a small sigh from the other end of the phone.

"I'm not coming back to school…"

"What!"

"My father…he's pulling me out of school and enrolling me into military school…" Gaara explains in a monotone voice.

"You're…but…this isn't a joke right?" I stutter, feeling apart of me die.

"I'm sorry…" Gaara's voice is but a whisper.

"I can't believe this…Why do people have to ruin everything!" I hold on tightly to the phone in my hand. "You're dad isn't around right? I want to come see you, please let me come see you," I beg my boyfriend.

"Don't you have to leave to get back to school?"

"No not yet, not until this evening. Please Gaara…."

"Of course. I'll wait at the bus stop for you." he mutters out and hangs up the phone. I put my cell into my pocket and run out of my room. I want to talk to my red head face to face. There's so much I want to say, and so much I'm feeling right now. But the phone doesn't seem good enough to pass on my messages. No I have to see those green eyes.

"Were are you going in such a hurry?"

"To see Gaara," I call back and slam the front door behind me once I step out. I run up to the bus stop just as the bus comes to a halt. I step in and pay for the fair. I go to the way back were there aren't a lot of people. I sit down and let myself catch my breath. Why is it that there has to be so much trouble? Why is Gaara's father taking him away from me…sending him to military school? I shutter at the thought. I hope Gaara will be all right…he doesn't deserve half the stuff people throw at him.

The bus ride is unusually quiet, and I stare out the window, my heart still racing. How will I keep in contact with Gaara? How will we see each other? Is everything lost, all because he's going to another school? But his dad is so protective and crazy, I doubt that when Gaara does have time off from school he'll even let him out of the house. Besides military school has to be harsh…it's not like he'll have time for me anymore. Is this really gonna end everything? All the things I've worked for? All those days I bothered him in the courtyard? I'll never have his company there again. I wonder if he'll ever have the time to paint….

The bus comes to my stop and I get up looking out the windows that I pass, and I see a glimpse of red hair. I exit the bus, and there at the stop sign is Gaara. I run up to him, and hug him tightly.

"I'm so sorry," I whisper to him. My thoughts becoming cluttered, and really I don't know what I'm apologizing for. And as I hold on to him my mind registering that my life at the boarding school will be very different, even lonely.

"Don't cry…" Gaara mumbles, and I feel his hand on my shoulder. Am I crying? Really? I hadn't t noticed. I touch my cheek and feel tears. I wipe my face fiercely and then look up to smile at Gaara.

"I should have never come here….it's all my fault."

"No it's not, don't worry about it," he mumbles.

"You always tell me not to worry! I can't help it!," I yell, and then look away feeling al little bad for screaming at him. "We won't see each other anymore….how can I not worry."

Gaara doesn't reply only takes my hand and slowly leads me down the street. I keep wiping away tears. How can he be so calm? How can he look so at ease. Isn't he at all upset? Don't' I mean anything to him? I feel his hand tighten around mine a little. Yes I do mean a lot to him…it's just not like him to over react. Unlike me; I guess I'll display enough emotion for the both of us. I try to smile a little and just focus on the touch we're sharing. But it's so hard to ignore everything I was just told. My brain's still trying to sort everything away, still trying to come to terms with what's happening.

We're in front of Gaara's house now, and he lets go of my hand to sit on his steps. I let myself fall down next to him, and scoot close as if wanting to absorb him.

"Isn't there anything you can do? Anything we can do?" I ask hopelessly. Gaara doesn't answer. "You don't deserve to be sent away…you're dad is a jerk…"

"But he's my guardian until I'm eighteen," he says in a depressed voice.

"But…can't you run away. I mean right now, we could just leave, and never turn back."

Gaara folds his hands together, and looks out into the street before turning to me. "I've tired. I wanted to."

"So? We can do it now, it's not like there's anyone to stop you."

"Naruto, I don't want to ruin your life," Gaara mumbles out.

"How would you be ruining my life?"

"If we were to run away…what sort of life would be waiting for us? We both probably wouldn't be able to finish school, and it would be hard for use to find jobs. I had wanted to leave…but my brother stopped me…he made a lot of sense…I don't think we could make it."

I glare at my boyfriend for a long, time before letting the logic sink in. "Yeah I guess you're right. I'm sorry I must just be adding more stress ontop of your situation with talk like this. I'm sorry for fucking shit up."

"I said it's not your fault…I'm glad you came to see me. …I'm glade I met you…" Gaara mumbles out the last part not making eye contact with me.

"Don't talk like that…you're making it sound like you're breaking up with me," I say holding on to his forearm.

"The life I'm going to be forced into, it will be strict and I'll be monitored. I won't be able to stay in contact with you," he looks at me finally.

"That's ok..it's all ok…I just…"

"Don't you think it would be better if we just…go our separate ways?" Gaara ask.

"What? No! I mean…do you really want that?"

He shrugs, "I feel….I know I love you…but it seems that everything is pulling us apart. There's no good solution…we're both to young… It wouldn't be fair to make you wait for me. I'm too much of an uncertainty. Wouldn't you like to find someone else?"

"No! I'll wait, I want to. I just…I don't' want this to end. I've worked to damn hard to get you to talk to me!" I say, and let a smile grace my lips trying to lighten the mood. Gaara gives me a blank look, and then turns his head.

I continue to speak, "I don't' know…maybe it's being childish…and maybe it's just a mistake. But I feel like I can't just let it end, not like this. Not when it's not because one of is unhappy. I want to make you happy, I want to be that one person that you can think about and be sure that they love you. I don't want to abandon you, and I don't want you to leave me. I've been alone so long…since I was little and only recently have I been able to make friendships, and you… you're so much more. Which only makes it harder, I don't' want this to end."

"But there's nothing we can do..."

"No not about you leaving but…" Gaara's hand tilts my head up to look at him. His eyes are so cold and empty and I feel fear, as if he's going to keep rejecting me. I don't' wan to be rejected anymore. But then he leans in and our lips met. I close my eyes, and pull Gaara even closer to me. Our soft sweet kiss soon turns desperate, and we don't want to let go, even though we both need air.

Gaara pulls away from me, and I can't help but whimper. "You're a strange little thing," He whispers. I look into his eyes, feeling lost for a moment. But then I see it, the smile on his face, a beautiful and sincere smile and it's staying there. It's not leaving, it's the longest I've ever seen him smile, and it warms my heart. I smile back, and hold on to him, resting my head on his shoulder and just holding him close. I don't want to leave, no matter how selfish and childish it is. Maybe I am a hopeless romantic…but is it so wrong to believe that everyone as a soul mate…someone they are willing to die for? And maybe it's just because I'm young and people say that teenagers like me can't understand what love is…but I want to believe that Gaara's my soul mate. Is that such a bad thing?

"Naruto?"

"Yes?" I whisper.

"If you….if you are sure…Then I promise I will find you once I turn eighteen, I will seek you out."

"Promise?"

"Yes…"

"Then I'll wait," I say loosening my hold on him. He kisses me again, and his arms wrap around my waist. My own hands reach for his shoulders, and we just kiss. I can't hear anything else I don't notice anything else but the lips pressing softly against mine. How long will it be before I feel those lips again? This…I can tell this will be our last...

We pull apart again. "I…I guess I should be going again…I'd love to stay longer but. If it gets to late I think Sasuke will leave me behind." I tell my boyfriend with a chuckle.

"I'll walk you back…,"he says in a monotone voice. I reach for his hand, and we walk together back to the bus stop. Oh I really do wish I could spend the rest of the day with my red head…but unlike Gaara I still have to go to Konoha Greens. It'll be weird not seeing him in the courtyard.

We walk to the bus stop in silence, and sit waiting for the vehicle to come. I wanted to speak to him, to make these last moments wonderful, but no sound came out. A part of me can't talk, because it would be too depressing. Gaara seems to be thinking the same. The bus pulls up and we both get to our feet. We look at each other and refuse to speak the words, 'goodbye'. After all he promised he'd fine me, and I promised I'd wait; so this can't be goodbye.

I step onto the bus again paying fair and again sitting in the back. Watching as the bus takes me farther away from the one I love.

"Naruto, good you're here," Sasuke says as I walk up the driveway. "I got your stuff in the car already. We need to get going," he says. Itachi is already in the driver's seat. I nod my head with slight sadness and get into the car. Sasuke's hand departs from the passenger seat door and instead he comes to sit next to me.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Gaara's dad pulled him out of school," I mutter.

"You joking? Just because he found out he's gay. He can't change someone's sexuality by taking them out of an all boys school," he sighs out, buckling up. I do the same.

"Yeah…" I say and look out the widow. For once I really don't feel like talking.

My fingers trace over the photo in my hand, and I let out a sigh. Sasuke isn't in the room, he's gone to take a shower. I'm glade, because I really need some time on my own. The last passed weeks of school have been so strange to me. It seems like I'm almost in a fog. Sasuke's concerned but he doesn't question me, after all he knows what's wrong. He doesn't attempt to cheer me up either, but he's not flat out ignoring me. I'm grateful really. I don't want to be cheered up. For right now I just want to be a little sad. I know the feeling will pass, and I don't' want to wallow in self pity.

This isn't self pity really. Yeah, I miss Gaara like souls miss water in hell, but…there's really nothing I can do. All I can do is keep hope, and move forward. I don't care if everyone in this school hated us, I don't care if some adults would say, "It was just puppy love. High school relationships hardly ever last." It's not like we broke up…we were torn apart. That's why I don't' think this relationship is over, why I don't think it was just puppy love, why I'm willing to wait for him. I slide the photo of Gaara and me on the church bench into the drawer of my night stand. My boyfriend's paintings I had professionally framed last weekend, and they hang over my bed; beside one another. I don't want to hide them away, because these things are all I have of him for now. Besides I know that Gaara probably has some keep sakes of me…and I hope I'm still the subject of his paintings. But I guess in Military school he wouldn't really have time to be artistic….

I pick up my books, and head into the hall. I pass the door that leads to Gaara's former dorm room. It's empty now, but I'm sure it'll get filled next year. I let a sad smile cross my lips as my eyes linger on the door. It's not really time for class yet, and only a few boys are up, and getting ready. But today I'm planning on doing something that I haven't done in two weeks.

I step outside into the light drizzle of rain. I look around not seeing anyone around the courtyard. I smile being thankful for the moment alone, and I take a seat on the flower bed. I run my hand against the spot I know Gaara would be sitting. I grin, and feel a tinge of happiness, as the rain starts to pour down hard. I ignore the cold droplets, and just keep feeling that warm peace, and solitude within me.

"Just because you're alone, doesn't mean you're lonely…" I mutter to myself, remember that Gaara had once said such words to me. I fully understand them now, because even though I'm alone out here in this courtyard, I don't' feel lonely. No far from it, I feel like I'm sitting right next to my boyfriend; like always.

* * *

A?N Check profile for sequel.


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